IncaMama
09-22-2005, 07:42 AM
nak
a few wks ago i posted that we'd moved our ds's (2.5yo) bedtime up MUCH earlier. he'd been fighting sleep sooooo much and we were losing our minds. well, we shifted to 7:30 (used to be 9:30 or 10) and it would take until around 8:30 for him to fall asleep. while this was so much better than before, it still created a couple of issues for us. first of all, on M/W/F DH doesn't even get home until 7:30 so he'd never see DS and our dinner (DH has to eat before 8pm) would be all screwy. secondly, DS still needed me to fall asleep and at nearly 7mos pregnant it's getting dang near impossible to lie with him for that long without destroying my pelvis more than it already is.
sooooo we made a couple of changes, and we're so happy with how it's going! he now goes upstairs to bed (after lights low, change into jammies, brush teeth, mellow play from around 8pm) between 8:15 and 8:30pm. and - *drum roll please* he's falling asleep on his own!!!! after 2.5 years of nursing/rocking/walking/bouncing/driving/whatevering him to sleep, he has finally developed a positive enough relationship with dreamland to not be afraid to enter it alone!
i still lie with him for about 25-30 minutes to get him nice and mellow and to ease him into this transition. but after that i kiss him all over, tell him how much i love him, tell him that i'm gonna go now and he's gonna go to sleep now. he's still totally awake and sometimes even still playful, but i leave the room anyway. he seemed to be a tiny bit anxious at first and i would just come right back in as soon as he called for me. he never cried, or even anything remotely like it. he'd just sort of say "mommy? hey, mommy? where are you?" :L so i'd come back in and either just kiss him again and say the same things or lie down with him a bit more then do it again (leave the room). i did this however many times he needed me to. the first few nights i'd end up lying with him until he fell asleep. he just wasn't *quite* ready, and that's totally ok! it was so new, how could i blame him?? he'd had 2.5 yrs of falling asleep on/near/with me, kwim?
well, eventually he just started sort of babbling to himself instead of asking for me after i'd left the room. my personal deal with him was that i wouldn't come in unless he called for me (i didn't phrase it like that - i told him that if he wants me to come back in, call for me and i'll be right there). so i knew that if he was just babbling to himself, singing, etc. that he didn't need me to come in. so i didn't. and he started drifting off himself!!!! last night was the BEST one yet! we went upstairs at 8:30 and i left at 9 (same routine, kisses, love you, etc) and he babbled for maybe about 5-10 minutes total and then fell asleep. i was so proud i almost cried!!!!
i cannot even express how proud of him i am. for the past 2.5 years i've been worried that he'd never be able to fall asleep by himself. which was seriously stressing me out, especially now that we've got #2 coming in december. and i was NOT EVER going to do CIO...and i just couldn't imagine it ever happening without that. but i am here to tell you that IT CAN HAPPEN! Rowan is probably one of the most sleep-needy kids i've ever met in my life LOL and if HE can do it, ANYBODY can! it just has to be the right time. i'm convinced. we'd tried this in the past and he'd just cry for me or whine/whimper for me nonstop and we knew that he wasn't ready. but now...he just...is!
i just had to post this bc i know how much posts like this helped me when i was losing my mind and feeling like maybe the CIO'ers had it right. it has been a long road, but we are finally here. yes i realize that it can change at a moment's notice. and probably will change when Ava gets here...but for now, i am in heaven. i stuck to my guns, i didn't do something that felt wrong in my heart, and we have arrived at the same wonderful place that everybody talks about! i know i sound so dang egotistical but, you know what? i AM proud of myself! we did what was best for our DS. he never once in his entire life has had to CIO. he has never had any negative associations with sleeping. and he's falling asleep on his own now!!!!! WOOOHOOOO WE DID IT!!!!!!!
a few wks ago i posted that we'd moved our ds's (2.5yo) bedtime up MUCH earlier. he'd been fighting sleep sooooo much and we were losing our minds. well, we shifted to 7:30 (used to be 9:30 or 10) and it would take until around 8:30 for him to fall asleep. while this was so much better than before, it still created a couple of issues for us. first of all, on M/W/F DH doesn't even get home until 7:30 so he'd never see DS and our dinner (DH has to eat before 8pm) would be all screwy. secondly, DS still needed me to fall asleep and at nearly 7mos pregnant it's getting dang near impossible to lie with him for that long without destroying my pelvis more than it already is.
sooooo we made a couple of changes, and we're so happy with how it's going! he now goes upstairs to bed (after lights low, change into jammies, brush teeth, mellow play from around 8pm) between 8:15 and 8:30pm. and - *drum roll please* he's falling asleep on his own!!!! after 2.5 years of nursing/rocking/walking/bouncing/driving/whatevering him to sleep, he has finally developed a positive enough relationship with dreamland to not be afraid to enter it alone!
i still lie with him for about 25-30 minutes to get him nice and mellow and to ease him into this transition. but after that i kiss him all over, tell him how much i love him, tell him that i'm gonna go now and he's gonna go to sleep now. he's still totally awake and sometimes even still playful, but i leave the room anyway. he seemed to be a tiny bit anxious at first and i would just come right back in as soon as he called for me. he never cried, or even anything remotely like it. he'd just sort of say "mommy? hey, mommy? where are you?" :L so i'd come back in and either just kiss him again and say the same things or lie down with him a bit more then do it again (leave the room). i did this however many times he needed me to. the first few nights i'd end up lying with him until he fell asleep. he just wasn't *quite* ready, and that's totally ok! it was so new, how could i blame him?? he'd had 2.5 yrs of falling asleep on/near/with me, kwim?
well, eventually he just started sort of babbling to himself instead of asking for me after i'd left the room. my personal deal with him was that i wouldn't come in unless he called for me (i didn't phrase it like that - i told him that if he wants me to come back in, call for me and i'll be right there). so i knew that if he was just babbling to himself, singing, etc. that he didn't need me to come in. so i didn't. and he started drifting off himself!!!! last night was the BEST one yet! we went upstairs at 8:30 and i left at 9 (same routine, kisses, love you, etc) and he babbled for maybe about 5-10 minutes total and then fell asleep. i was so proud i almost cried!!!!
i cannot even express how proud of him i am. for the past 2.5 years i've been worried that he'd never be able to fall asleep by himself. which was seriously stressing me out, especially now that we've got #2 coming in december. and i was NOT EVER going to do CIO...and i just couldn't imagine it ever happening without that. but i am here to tell you that IT CAN HAPPEN! Rowan is probably one of the most sleep-needy kids i've ever met in my life LOL and if HE can do it, ANYBODY can! it just has to be the right time. i'm convinced. we'd tried this in the past and he'd just cry for me or whine/whimper for me nonstop and we knew that he wasn't ready. but now...he just...is!
i just had to post this bc i know how much posts like this helped me when i was losing my mind and feeling like maybe the CIO'ers had it right. it has been a long road, but we are finally here. yes i realize that it can change at a moment's notice. and probably will change when Ava gets here...but for now, i am in heaven. i stuck to my guns, i didn't do something that felt wrong in my heart, and we have arrived at the same wonderful place that everybody talks about! i know i sound so dang egotistical but, you know what? i AM proud of myself! we did what was best for our DS. he never once in his entire life has had to CIO. he has never had any negative associations with sleeping. and he's falling asleep on his own now!!!!! WOOOHOOOO WE DID IT!!!!!!!