No Cry for Toddlers?

[nurtureyourbabies]

Hi Mamas! I am Mom to a 2 1/2 yr old DS and 5 mo old DD. We co-sleep at night. DS goes to sleep in his bed, usually very easily and then wakes after a couple of hrs. I put him either on the couch or in our bed. Our bed is upstairs, so I prefer him downstairs on the couch with me, DH works late so, it's just us, DD is usually on the other couch :). Anyway, DS usually sleeps well at night, but doesn't nap anymore during the day. Some days I can tell that he is frustrated and hard to handle because he is tired. If I could ever get him to nap, it would be after 4 pm and then he won't sleep at night until 11. I've heard about the new NCSS for Toddlers and want your opinions. One one hand, I try to parent in every way by my instinct first and am very warry of sleep trainers. On the othe hand, according to her book, DS "should" be getting more sleep (I think she recommends a 7:30 bedtime) and sleeping thru the night. It would be really nice for him to go to sleep earlier and sleep well at night and it would be great for him if he really does need more sleep. The up side of this situation is that 5 mo DD sleeps great, most of the time better than her brother!

[sistermama]

I would recommend an even earlier bed time. This is what I did based on my friend's rec, because it worked so well for her 2.5 year old. My ds is in bed by 6:00 and asleep by 6:30. He usually sleeps at least 12 hours. Since I started doing this, he has been in such a better mood, I get more time at night with the baby and to myself. I thought my friend was insane when she suggested this, but I'm convinced now. Try it tomorrow, you might be surprised!

ETA - I realized that I was missing a sleep window for him. I was putting him down about 8:00 and even without the nap it was taking him until 8:30 - 9:00 to fall asleep. Didn't realize he had a sleep window about 2 hours earlier.

[madtan]

Hi! I co-sleep with my children as well and find it to be a great way to bond. I know that many people don't agree with the practice but as long as you are safe I see no problem with it. My oldest has started to grow into her own bed. If you don't mind it why don't you try waiting on your child to sleep alone until he or she is ready. You are letting the child in bed with you anyway.

[nurtureyourbabies]

Thanks sistermama, I might try earlier bedtime today. madtan - just to clarify, we still want to co-sleep with both kids, I'm just talking about bedtime, naps and opinions on the NCSS for toddlers.

[earthy]

I have a 2.5 y/o dd and a 5 m/o ds. We co sleep and have the exact same situation re: naps as you describe. I have found that if I put the 2.5 y/o to bed around 5:45-6:00pm she's asleep by 6-6:30 and then sleeps till about 7:30 am. If I try to go later, I miss that window and all is lost! She does wake in the night but has a twin next to my queen so just climbs up and cuddles back to sleep. Dh is deployed so there's lots of room. It also limits the stimulation. I have the NCSS for Toddlers and it is good. I wouldn't really consider Pantley to be a sleep trainer. She offers suggestions and recognizes not all will work for every child. Very ap friendly. I also read NCSS for Babies and it was good-her suggestions (very gentle) for decreasing night waking lead to -baby #3 (the 5 m/o)! Not that we were trying...
Tanya~who believes the more sleep the better-for everyone!

[ToniaStarr]

Wow I am really glad I read this. We have been having sleep struggles with our 2 and 4 year old, especially our 2 yr old. It seems the later we put him down the longer it takes for him to fall asleep. Logic told me to try later and later. Will have to give the whole earlier bedtime theory a shot. Thanks girls.
Tonia :fsling:

[sistermama]

I have found that if I put the 2.5 y/o to bed around 5:45-6:00pm she's asleep by 6-6:30 and then sleeps till about 7:30 am. If I try to go later, I miss that window and all is lost!

Don't you feel like you stumbled onto an amazing secret? I couldn't BELIEVE it the first week that ds was asleep every night by 6:30. It has made such a difference in my mental well-being to have all that time at night to myself (well, with just one baby and not two kids - lol!).

[crysmomofthree]

Do any of you mamas who put your 2 yr olds to bed aroun 6ish have older kids as well? Because I think my 2 yr old with serious sleep problems would benefit from a much earlier bedtime, but I am worried about my older two kids waking him up, or them having to be a lot quieter because the toddler is sleeping ? any thoughts?
crystal

[earthy]

White noise. And lots of it! Lots of people use fans-we have an air purifier that I put on high and it drowns out a lot. My 6 y/o is LOUD!
Tanya

[Boadicea]

How do you do the earlier bedtime in the summer months when it is light so much later at night? Because my DS's internal clock seems to be set like mine -- he is very attuned to the whole night is for sleep, day is for play thing!

Also, do you have more than one child that goes down at the earlier time? I am wondering how this would work for my DD as well. She is only 20 months old, and she seems to be very much a night person (like her Dad, unfortunately -- I'm the one staying up with her, and I'm a morning person), so I'm not sure how the earlier bedtime would work for her. I would LOVE it if it would help with her night waking, though.

I purchased a copy of NCSS when DD was a year old and I felt like we were beyond it at that age. I've been putting off buying NCSS for Toddlers because I was so disappointed with the first one, but maybe I'll give it a try after all.

Oh, and I wanted to mention that DS is a great sleeper and always has been, so I'm not really looking to "fix" any particular sleep issue. Other than the tantrum that the words "it's almost time for bed" can bring on. It's DD that's never slept through the night (not even by the clinical definition of five solid hours) and is driving me slowly insane by means of sleep deprivation. I'd try just about anything (well, anything that my mama instincts and gentle parenting ideals would hold with) at this point if DD would just SLEEP!

[Boadicea]

White noise. And lots of it! Lots of people use fans-we have an air purifier that I put on high and it drowns out a lot. My 6 y/o is LOUD!
Tanya

Oh, and I just had to second this idea! My DS has a noise machine in his room, and we (DD, DH and myself) have a fan running in ours. I absolutely cannot sleep without some form of white noise! Even the "sound of silence" wakes me up. :LOL I'd give up an apendage for silence in my own home during the day, but I can't sleep in it!