Expecting newborn and 3yo still cosleeping

[LeAnnie]

Hi everyone...first time posting here. My almost 4 year old daughter still cosleeps and we're expecting a baby in November. I'd really like my dd to 'graduate' to her own room and bed (right next door, but never used). I've always envisioned it would be her idea, but she says she'll try it when she is 5 or 6; 3yo's have such set ideas about things-lol! As an AP, gentle parent, I just can't bring myself to force the issue. She just weaned a few months ago and definitely knows how to fall asleep by herself, but has never been alone in a room her whole life. How does one make that transition?
I'm worried I'll want more space and also would like to have the flexibility to nurse/sleep with the baby on either side, but if she's in the bed I believe I'll have to keep baby from sleeping next to her.
Anyone have any ideas, experience, thoughts? Thanks....

[merpk]

:wave

Hi. Welcome to a more crowded family bed. :LOL

:)

Am a big believer in not kicking one out to make way for another. We have b'H 4 children (and 2 grownups :D) in one enormous bed ... which is actually futons wall2wall ... and it works out beautifully. Just make sure that your body is in between the newborn and the bigger child and you'll be fine.

And once the baby is old enough to cuddle with siblings, it's one of those really wonderful things to watch. And they wake up and giggle together in the morning, and you get to share ...

:love

All that stuff all those poor separate-bedroom families only get to glimpse ...

:love

[rainbowfairymomma]

I haven't EXACTLY be in your position but similar (my DS was a little younger) anyway we just set up a bed next to ours and still in our room. He was totally fine! (the main reason I did this was I wasn't sleeping AT ALL and it was really disrupting things! haha)

[lisac77]

I have a 27-month-old son and we are sort of TTC #2. I was talking to my mom (who has five kids, and coslept with all of us) about what to do about cosleeping when/if we have another baby. She said, "You get used to having two kids in your bed."

Obviously, if your older child is willing to move into her own bed, more power to both of you. I just bought a king sized bed and I'm anticipating sharing with two kids (the husband sleeps in another room).

Good luck.

[Karennnnn]

Agreeing with Amy!!
We have a king sized bed but I knew when our baby was born in June that it wouldn't be big enough. We put a full size bed next to it and we all have enough room.
The baby sleeps on my right, my 5 year old (just turned 5 Sun lol) on my left. Dh on his left. No way would we be able to fit in one king sized bed, but then again you adapt. I know many mommas here do it all on a queen. I don't know how but they do!!!!! I believe the bigger the better. I think it's safer that way and we all get our own space pretty much.
I *NEVER* let the two sleep next to each other. My son begs and pleads to sleep next to his sister, but it's just too dangerous. He doesn't have the instinct that a mom has and it's hard to explain to him. He sometimes kicks in his sleep (usually ME lol), and he changes positions in a complete 360 most nights so it's out of the question.
In the morning if I wake up before them I'll put her next to him and let him know and he'll hold her hand or put his arm around her and the both sleep. It's super super sweet....
He weaned about 6 months ago actually. Nursing during pregnancy was really painful and we slowly weaned. He still likes to have either his back rubbed to fall asleep or my arm behind his neck. So sometimes nursing while doing either of these is a challenge but it's normal for me now!
He can and has fallen asleep on his own and I think the next part of this natural progression will be either going to bed on his own or possibly sleeping in his own room. It's there for him when he's ready! By the way, we all go to bed at the same time. This isn't an issue now, but as the baby gets older she may not have the same routine. Then again, she might seeing as how it's the same every night since he's now in school and a variance in bedtime isn't much of an option at this point. I was really concerned about this because I knew it was possible that one would be ready for bed and not the other. That was my other big concern.
Anyway! It works for us. Good luck!!!
Karen

[Karennnnn]

By the way, about switching sides when nursing!
Because I don't want the two sleeping next to each other, I do the boob hangover or whatever you want to call it. Laying on your side and leaning over so the baby gets the other boob. You've probably done it before!
I only did it a few times when I had my son since I could easily flip him from side to side as a newborn, but as he got older and could roll, etc, I wanted him between dh and I at all times.
But if you master this (pillows behind your back help), that's how you do it!

[AngelBee]

Great tips from all of the pp. :thumb

That is exactly what we did when baby 3 came along.......we upgraged to two kings pushed together. :love (Dh's idea :happyt: )

We all sleep great! Each child also have a bed of their own in their shared bedroom if they choose to sleep in there. Believe it or not maybe 25% off the time the older two decide to sleep on their own. I think it is because they know they can sleep with us everynight if they want to.

Good luck! I love co-sleeping. Just make sure you and your partner still get private time with eachother to keep the fires going. :wink My children make us take date nights to that we can "feed our love so it will grow" as my three year old dd says! :laugh:

[AnnR33]

I also had my 3 yr old transition to the mattress next to our bed. She did fine and we had no problems. Within just a month or so she asked to sleep in her "big bed" in her room. I never thought she's stay there but she did! I was shocked. She still comes into my rm most mornings around 6am to sleep another hr or so which is fine. We still kept the mattress on the floor next to our bed for this reason.
Good luck
Ann

[maya's mommy]

My dd will be three in Dec. and I am pregnant with #2 and due in Feb.
We used to have her crib sidecarred next to our bed but we were selling our home and decided to move ther bed into her bedroom to make it look more like an actual bedroom. So, for the summer she was in our queen size bed with us. It has been tight and since I have been having problems sleeping anyway it has been a tough summer.
I had been thinking about bringing her mattress into our room and putting it on the floor for some time now. Recently she has begun to sleep really long streches at night. She wakes up between 4 and 6 in the morning and nurses for a very long time(on and off for anywhere from 1 to 3 hours). So, when I get into bed and move her a bit so there is room for me I am just annoying her. Last night I told her she was going to fall asleep in the bed and then I would move her to her mattress. She was all over it! So, last night it was back to just dh and I in the bed and dd on the floor right next to me on her mattress. She woke up at 4 am said "mommy, some milk" I picked her and she nursed until about 7. She was very excited tonight to sleep on her mattress again.

I am not sure what will happen in Feb. but I am hoping that she will get used to sleeping in her own space at least for most of the night. I know at this point she does not feel like she is being kicked out of our bed. So, hopefully once we move she will be excited to be in her new room and will start out there.

michelle

[UUMom]

Another crowded bed from the peanut gallery.

We had all sorts of configurations, Twin mattresses against the bed, 5 in a bed, mattresses on the floor, side car...you name it, we tried it. Including kids sleeping with one parent and the parents not sleeping together the entire night (that was tough--but you find time for each other that's not in the dark, in your bed. That's kinda nice. Sat & Sun naptime, anyone? lol ).

We've been married a really loooong time & can still stand each other. :LOL

Nah, we love each other, and knowing we are caring for the kids to their full worth makes us feel loved and loving.

You'll never regret meeting their needs to the best of your ability. Even when it's hard.

Congrats on your impending arrival!!