Birth Control Question

[MrsMoe]

What are you going to use as BC after your babies are born?

I cannot take hormonal birth control, my body won't tolerate it and my blood pressure goes through the roof. So patches, pills, and all the like are out.

My husband is allergic to spermicide.

I am allergic to latex.



What are IUD's like? My mother had an IUD, and it ruptured insider her, but this was 27 years ago... still IUD's freak me out.

Would a cervical cap and withdrawl work? We don't want any more babies after this one, but we aren't positive we won't in the future - say 5 years or so down the road, so one of us getting "fixed" is out.

[Artisan]

I feel your pain. Seems like there are just no really good options out there. I have researched and researched this, and am going to get a Mirena IUD. The incidence of serious problems with them is QUITE low, like .009%. Much lower than the pill. Other than the discomfort at insertion, Mirena is supposed to actually reduce cramping/bleeding/etc. (Mirena is the IUD with progesterone, BTW.) Your hormone exposure is limited to the uterus/ovaries, and it's about 1/10 of the hormones you would get from the pill. Because your liver doesn't have to metabolize a huge chunk of what you ingest orally, you expose your body to a lot fewer hormones.

They generally won't give cervical caps to people who have had a vaginal birth, BTW. The failure rate is astronomical -- almost like using nothing. :)

[Mallory]

Natural Family Planning

Read Taking Charge of Your Fertiliy and Check out the Family Planning board (it's under Fertility).

[busybusymomma]

We'll be back to condoms (which I realize you can't use). We only have one brand that I can handle for regular use as the spermicides or something on them tend to bother me... and thankfully this brand doesn't reek of rubber smell.

If at some point we stop using condoms it would be to go the NFP route... I am too scared to try hormonal birth control and absolutely refuse to do anything permanent. I highly doubt dh would go in for the big V. :wink

[lilsishomemade]

I have a question....if you start bc, when do you start it? I was thinking of using the patch until I'm able to get an IUD (had an abnormal pap and they told me they probably won't be able to insert it until after they get that all cleared up, and I just don't see my dh being able to hold off for another few months, and he is allergic to latex). I just didn't know when they'd start that, and also how it would be while nursing. Sorry, my next appt with mw is in a month.

[darkpear]

Apparently there are polyurethane condoms now? Maybe those or the natural membrane ones would be an option.

[Lousli]

I was going to mention non-latex condoms. You might look into the female condom as well.

[zjande]

Oh MrsMoe, I'm going to start having nightmares about this very subject!!! :LOL I have NO idea what I'm going to use & I need to research & figure it out & it's so overwhelming & AARRggghhhh!!

I've used Norplant or the Pill since I was 14, minus when I was pg of course. I'm now 31 & realizing that that's a LOT of years to be shoving scary hormones in my body & recently read about the links between breast cancer & the Pill, *especially* for women who took the Pill for at least 5 yrs in a row. Um, that would be me. And my grandmother died of breast cancer...

I also think that I am extremely fertile. I've gotten pg the moment I miss more than one Pill (twice), & pg with my son exactly 5 days after quitting BC that I'd been on continously for 6 years... so that makes me extremely paranoid! I'm thinking about a diaphragm, but I'm so fearful that ONE little sperm will make it through, or I'll take it out wrong or it'll move or something & that'll be all it takes for me, one little BC mistake & I'll conceive. OH Siiiiiigh.

My DP is very supportive of a natural family planning sort of thing & doesn't want me to use hormonal stuff at all. He even says, in response to my fears of conceiving an unplanned baby, "we could NEVER have an unwanted baby". That's very sweet & good of him, but dammit, if I had a 3 month old & found myself pg again, that pg would be very, very unwanted to ME. My kids are 7 years apart! And I like it that way! :LOL This time we think we'll wait about 3 years before we have one more, but I'd like to NOT be freaking out, paranoid & distracted every month until then! (I mean no offense whatsoever to mamas who have their munchkins spaced closely together)

I'm sorry to use your post as my own personal major venting! It's just that this subject is stabbing me in the brain & making me crazy. :flipped :nut :flipped :nut

[danav]

I'm not sure what we are going to do, either...this little guy is a post-vasectomy surprise (and yes, DH DID go back for two follow up sperm analyses and was proclaimed sterile...two months later I was pg). So obviously we can't rely on THAT anymore. I do not want to use hormonal birth control, especially indefinitely. NFP won't really be reliable for me for a while - I just don't trust that things will be reliable enough during breastfeeding (which will be several years). I've thought about getting a tubal ligation...but given our circumstances with DH's vasectomy (and the fact that since our surprise pg more than one person has told me stories about a couple they know who both had surgery and STILL got pg) I've kind of lost my faith in sterilization! We both hate condoms, but that seems like the most likely option right now although I can't see using them for the rest of our fertile lives...SIGH!

[MrsMoe]

I feel your pain. Seems like there are just no really good options out there. I have researched and researched this, and am going to get a Mirena IUD. The incidence of serious problems with them is QUITE low, like .009%. Much lower than the pill. Other than the discomfort at insertion, Mirena is supposed to actually reduce cramping/bleeding/etc. (Mirena is the IUD with progesterone, BTW.) Your hormone exposure is limited to the uterus/ovaries, and it's about 1/10 of the hormones you would get from the pill. Because your liver doesn't have to metabolize a huge chunk of what you ingest orally, you expose your body to a lot fewer hormones.

They generally won't give cervical caps to people who have had a vaginal birth, BTW. The failure rate is astronomical -- almost like using nothing. :)

I am prone to cervical dysplasia because I have the 2 strains of HPV that are very high risk for causing cervical cancer. I have had 3 biopsies to date... also have wierd issues with postcotial (after sex) bleeding and they say there is nothing that can be done about it. I am thinking an IUD is out for me per everything I read at the IUD website.

I wonder how reversible it would be for my husband or myself to get snipped. *sigh*

Natural family plannning isn't 100% reliable. We need something that is 100% effective.

[Artisan]

I am prone to cervical dysplasia because I have the 2 strains of HPV that are very high risk for causing cervical cancer. I have had 3 biopsies to date... also have wierd issues with postcotial (after sex) bleeding and they say there is nothing that can be done about it. I am thinking an IUD is out for me per everything I read at the IUD website.

I wonder how reversible it would be for my husband or myself to get snipped. *sigh*

Natural family plannning isn't 100% reliable. We need something that is 100% effective.

Well, there's nothing that will give you 100% reliability, save abstinence. :) The animal membrane condoms are not half bad -- much better than latex and no spermicide. But definitely not 100% reliable. What would be more reliable is to do NFP and avoid intercourse on fertile days altogether and to use a condom every other time.

There are two types of vasectomy procedures, one is more reversible than the other. But is also less effective. :)

[Artisan]

I have a question....if you start bc, when do you start it? I was thinking of using the patch until I'm able to get an IUD (had an abnormal pap and they told me they probably won't be able to insert it until after they get that all cleared up, and I just don't see my dh being able to hold off for another few months, and he is allergic to latex). I just didn't know when they'd start that, and also how it would be while nursing. Sorry, my next appt with mw is in a month.

You can't use the patch while nursing. The only hormonal options while nursing are the minipill and the Mirena or copper IUD. They generally give you a prescription for what you want at your six week checkup.

[rebeccalizzie]

I used a diaphragm and have been pretty happy with it--we did actually combine it with NFP though, and totally abstained on my most fertile days, because for a while we wanted to be *absolutely* sure. The diaphragm was pretty comfortable, and I liked that I put it in and then left it overnight--I didn't have to deal with it afterward, I could go right to sleep! :p

I agree, nothing is 100%, even the pill is something like 97%, and I have to wonder about their stats--I know a whole lot of people who got pg on the pill, and most of them didn't skip one. 97% seems high to me. Sterilization reversals are pretty painful, and don't always work. I *really* wouldn't consider that one unless I was *sure* we were done.

[ashcox]

Nefore we were trying to conceive this time around we were using NFP and condoms on fertile days and it worked very well for us. We did this for close to a year. I'll probably do this again after this next baby is through breastfeeding, but until them we'll probably use condoms, which I know isn't an option for you, but like others have said, you could always try the non-latex variety.

[MrsMoe]

I used a diaphragm and have been pretty happy with it--we did actually combine it with NFP though, and totally abstained on my most fertile days, because for a while we wanted to be *absolutely* sure. The diaphragm was pretty comfortable, and I liked that I put it in and then left it overnight--I didn't have to deal with it afterward, I could go right to sleep! :p

I agree, nothing is 100%, even the pill is something like 97%, and I have to wonder about their stats--I know a whole lot of people who got pg on the pill, and most of them didn't skip one. 97% seems high to me. Sterilization reversals are pretty painful, and don't always work. I *really* wouldn't consider that one unless I was *sure* we were done.


The pill is 97% effective if you take it the same time every single day and never ever miss one. Lots of women miss pills or take their pills at different times of the day. My daughter is a pill baby, btw.

As far as natural method, my cycle is all over the map. I ovulate whenever, and I'm never predictable.

I don't want any more kids at all ever so if it was up to me I would have my tubes cut tied and fried. :LOL My husband however says he might later down the road, so I feel very torn.

[celestialdreamer]

Natural Family Planning

Read Taking Charge of Your Fertiliy and Check out the Family Planning board (it's under Fertility).

:yeah: I definitely recommend looking into this. It is very reliable if you do your research and follow the guidelines. It sounds like it would be a great choice for you. If you chose to not abstain during fertile times you could use one of those polyurethane condoms then. Before I read TCOYF I never thought it was something that I would do or that would work for me.

[celestialdreamer]

[QUOTE=MrsMoe]As far as natural method, my cycle is all over the map. I ovulate whenever, and I'm never predictable. [QUOTE]

That doesn't matter if you do the form of NFP described in the book listed. I have always had irregular cycles also. I was actually able to use the stuff I learned in the book to help us concieve the baby I am pregnant with now even with crazy cycles. Its sounds like it would be SO much work to learn all your fertility signs, but its really not!

[Vasmommy]

I'm not sure what we are going to do, either...this little guy is a post-vasectomy surprise (and yes, DH DID go back for two follow up sperm analyses and was proclaimed sterile...two months later I was pg). So obviously we can't rely on THAT anymore.

Dang! Same story here, except substitute two months with two years.

I don't know what we'll do either. We haven't decided yet if he'll get re-snipped, but my vote is on "no" because I won't ever trust it again. Tubal ligation is out for money reasons, not to mention the increased health risks. Though I've never been on the pill, I don't like the idea of hormones and the risks that way.

I dunno. :( IUD is looking like a good option.

[Persephone]

First LAM, then FAM. I have always had irregular cycles. But you can use FAM even if your cycles are irregular. I don't know where this myth came from that your cycles have to be regular to use FAM! (Rhythm method, maybe?)

[aguacates]

First LAM, then FAM.

What is LAM?

[flyingspaghettimama]

My first daughter is here today due to the cervical cap, as a testament to its efficacy! Dang thing, but I'm glad with the end product.

There is a new kind of IUD that many of my friends have. The only thing that sorta weirded me out was that it does contain a very low level of hormones. I believe it's called Mirena. I tried it, but my body physically (r)ejected it. Apparently, they usually recommend use after two children have been born.

What honestly worked for us was withdrawal. Where's that little bag-over-your-head smilie? Yeah, I just lied to my gyn because they never like that answer. Regardless, it completely worked for us for 5 years with no problems or accidents. Many of my friends confide that it works for them too...

However, after this birth, if all goes well - the vasectomy is up. My husband isn't so keen on it, but I'm certainly not having any more, and I think it's more of a pride thing for him. It will be of course his body, his choice; but I am lobbying for the the choice that I like best...

[MrsMoe]

I know when I ovulate. Sometimes, its smack after my period. Sometimes in the middle of the cycle, somtimes a few days prior to my period. Ltierally, it's all over the map. And since sperm lives in you for a week, natural method is out for me.

Pulling out isn't 100% effective either, because a man still leaks sperm prior to ejaculation. And all it's takes is one single spermie to make a baby. We used pulling out prior to having Hannah, but now that we are done with having children, we don't want any accidents.

I think I am comming to the realization that getting fixed is the best route. While it is much easier if my husband gets fixed, I can't force him, nor should I pressure him to do something to his body that he is not comfortable with, and at this point in time, he is refusing. So I will just get my tubes tied. I don't want more kids, ever. And it IS my body and my choice if I want to carry again, which I don't.

I think that the BC options that are out there stink. :(

[Persephone]

What is LAM?

Lactational Amenorrhea Method. It's where you use breastfeeding to keep yourself infertile for a time. It's pretty controversial, because just because you're breastfeeding doesn't mean you can't get pg. And fertility returns at different times for each woman. If you're interested, there's a book called "Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing" that explains it. If you're looking for something to keep from having children, rather than spacing them, it might not be the best method, though. :)

[ehsclt]

I second those who have suggested reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I think it is an excellent resource and is all one needs to manage birth control. I have used it's information to conceive two children and to prevent pg in between. I plan to use it to prevent pg from now on (three kids are all we plan on.) I have VERY irregular cycles, but this book relies on several indicators of fertility. Using those indicators together has worked well for me.

[Mallory]

I know when I ovulate. Sometimes, its smack after my period. Sometimes in the middle of the cycle, somtimes a few days prior to my period. Ltierally, it's all over the map. And since sperm lives in you for a week, natural method is out for me.

Do you have a few days of mucus before you ovulate? Yes, sperm can live in your body for a week, but only if that sweet thick mucus is there to keep them alive, if there is nothing leaking out of you cervix except for the day before you ovulate, then the sperm can't still be living there since last week. Sure it can be hard to tell during your period, but you can just consider those fertile days until you can check for sure.

Your cervix also gets squishier and more open and if you feel it every day then you can tell when it is changing a few days before you ovulate. It also gets higher up in your vagina.

If you haven't already read TCOYF, I would at least recommend you give it a chance before you go for surgury.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Pulling out isn't 100% effective either, because a man still leaks sperm prior to ejaculation. And all it's takes is one single spermie to make a baby. We used pulling out prior to having Hannah, but now that we are done with having children, we don't want any accidents.


Oh yes, I know, I know. That's why I quit telling my gyn, because then they'd follow up with "what, you're trying to get pregnant?!" and I'd say, no i'm not actively trying, but this has worked for us for a very long time, and they would explain the prejaculate and semen and everything, verry sloowly, because I was obviously a very slow woman with a grad degree.

So then I said, oh we use condoms. And then they left me alone. Hey, it worked better than that silly cervical hat or cap or whatever that didn't do anything. But I understand - it's certainly not 100%.

But at least without the hormonal interference, I still FELT like having sex. :mischief

I've heard that getting tubes tied is quite expensive (if not covered by insurance) and definitely not reversible, as with vasectomy. So that's a influence for me. I imagine after going through life with another newborn for a few months, and cosleeping, and crazy mommy syndrome, my husband will be ready for that surgery. Why can't they market vasectomies for men? Makes you stronger! More handsome! Extra virile! Oh wait, not the last part.

[MrsMoe]

Do you have a few days of mucus before you ovulate? Yes, sperm can live in your body for a week, but only if that sweet thick mucus is there to keep them alive, if there is nothing leaking out of you cervix except for the day before you ovulate, then the sperm can't still be living there since last week. Sure it can be hard to tell during your period, but you can just consider those fertile days until you can check for sure.

Your cervix also gets squishier and more open and if you feel it every day then you can tell when it is changing a few days before you ovulate. It also gets higher up in your vagina.

If you haven't already read TCOYF, I would at least recommend you give it a chance before you go for surgury.

Yes, my flora changes, my cervix changes, and I feel the ovulation occuring -it's also slightly crampy. When we used pulling out, we were extra extra careful on the ovulation days, if we had sex at all, and usually we used other means for having fun. And I will freely admit, it did work in conjunction with pulling out, but there is STILL a huge risk, and I simply CANNOT get pregnant because I would never abort.


Oh yes, I know, I know. That's why I quit telling my gyn, because then they'd follow up with "what, you're trying to get pregnant?!" and I'd say, no i'm not actively trying, but this has worked for us for a very long time, and they would explain the prejaculate and semen and everything, verry sloowly, because I was obviously a very slow woman with a grad degree.

So then I said, oh we use condoms. And then they left me alone. Hey, it worked better than that silly cervical hat or cap or whatever that didn't do anything. But I understand - it's certainly not 100%.

But at least without the hormonal interference, I still FELT like having sex. :mischief

I've heard that getting tubes tied is quite expensive (if not covered by insurance) and definitely not reversible, as with vasectomy. So that's a influence for me. I imagine after going through life with another newborn for a few months, and cosleeping, and crazy mommy syndrome, my husband will be ready for that surgery. Why can't they market vasectomies for men? Makes you stronger! More handsome! Extra virile! Oh wait, not the last part.


Well, for me, pulling out was more effective than the pill. I had Emma on the pill, and the times and years I used pulling out, I never got pregnant... but there is STILL that chance, kwim?

And the husband and I had a talk tonight, a serious one. We went over me getting a tubal vs him getting a vasectomy - his would be done in office with a local - mine would have to be done under anethesia. Also, reversal is less complicated with men... and now they have a no scalpel technique they can use with men.

For us, with our money situation, a baby due very soon, and me going back to University when Hannah is about a year, and being in college for a minimum of 4 years... then my wanting to start my career, we simply cannot have any children right now. In 7 years, who knows, but not now.

If there were better BC options, that would be one thing. Sadly, there are not.

[kir]

I want to second the FAM recommendation. I read TCOYF and was really into the method. I knew exactly when i was fertile, and i loved being in control of things and aware, and "natural."

But we got pregnant with twins using this method. Why? Because my DH was really not on board. He understood that there were days that were not safe, but he did not really understand the method, so he didn't understand that it was a TERRIBLE idea to "risk it" on those days, know what i mean? I think with FAM a really important thing is to make sure both partners really REALLY are on board and completely understand the method. It may even be a good idea to have one's partner do the charting, so he "sees" the risk of conception on various days.

FAM provides fabulous rules for contraception while breastfeeding, but given our track record there is no way we can try them.

There is apparently a yahoo group out there on withdrawal method and how it can be practiced most effectively. I never found it, but i know some people say it can be more effective than condoms, even during your fertile phase!

K

[aguacates]

Lactational Amenorrhea Method. It's where you use breastfeeding to keep yourself infertile for a time.

Aha. I kept thinking Latex Awareness Method, which I was pretty sure wasn't it. :LOL

As for TCOYF, I really think that every woman should read it, regardless of whether they plan to use the FAM. When I read it I was amazed what I didn't know(up until I read it) about my own body. That said, I can't really use it as a method while breastfeeding. I don't get at least two hrs of consecutive sleep necessary for accurate temping, and bfing really dries up my cm to the point of not being to tell anything.

I'm only 19 wks along, and I am already worrying about what I'm going to use for BC. I'm having an HG pregnancy, and I know I cannot do this again for a while. But I definitely know that we want more kids. Sigh. I've been thinking about an IUD, but I get freaked out by the idea of putting a metal thingie in my uterus (the mirena is out for me, I can't do hormones at all).

The other thing is, I know of babies conceived while on almost every kind of bc, even with (admittedly self professed) perfect use. And that includes tubal ligation and vasectomies. There really is no failsafe method, save abstinence :irked:

My parents actually both did this, they figured that they had good insurance at the time, they absolutely did not want any more kids, and that the likelihood of a tubal and a vasectomy failing at the same time was next to none.

[Artisan]

If it's possible, I would try and talk my DH into getting snipped. When women get their tubes tied, they greatly increase their risk for ovarian cancer, which is something that you don't want to mess around with. It's so much less complicated for a guy to get a vasectomy.

[memory maker]

I had the Mirena IUD put in after Emma was born. I hated it! They said that the only discomfort would be the insertion. Actually that didnt bother me at all. The real pain came (and lasted for about a month) about a week after it was put in. The IUD didnt stay where it was supposed to and when I had it removed a month later, the bottom part of the T shape was stuck down into the opening of my cervix. They then had to check to see if I was pregnant because it wouldnt have been effective how it was, but I wouldnt have known because we could still feel the string was in place.

so this time DH is getting a vasectomy. This baby will be our 3rd and we are both feeling now like we are done.

[pixiedust]

At first we will probably use condoms or diaphram as backup (will be nursing full time) but after my cycle starts back up I'll be using FAM. We've used it for years to both avoid and achieve pregnancy. It's been super reliable for us.