Diane~Alena
10-03-2005, 03:49 PM
My oldest bestfriend is pregnant. I am so happy for her, she is 23 wks and 6 days(the gestation my son died at) with a little boy whom she is going to call Raiden. I am ok with this, I don't know if I could handle it from anyone else but I love her so this is ok. She is back with the man that has always loved her and doing well. I am going to help her in her labour, I know I will be so full of love for her son, the son she has always longed for. She is going to let me be a part of this little boys life in a big way and that makes me so happy, happy enough to let go of my envy. I buy sweet little blue clothes for Raiden, I know he is going to fill up some of the dark whole that is inside me. I look forward to being part of his enterance into the world.
The issue is she is going to deliver in the hospital Esik died in, the hospital where I was told that I should let Ella die. She is going to a Maternity clinic and so could have any Ob/Gyn for delivery. Dr. D. the one who failed my son is part of this clinic, and Dr.B who said to let Ella die when I had my water break at 24 wks is too.
I have started to panic about how I will deal with this. What will I do if that ******* Dr. d walks in to deliver her baby? How can I be support to her when I think she has a complete moron for a OB? Dr.B I can sort out on my own because at least I have Ella with me. I can suck it up and deal with Dr. B I just need to have an adivan or two. There isn't enough Adivan in the whole world to get me in the same hospital, ward and room with Dr.D after how he treated my little guy and I that week almost 4 years ago.
I am all my friend has though, she has no one else to really support her in this time. She has had alot of issues with this baby, and I have been there for her, helping her. The sorrow of her choice with her last baby has been tough and she has called on me for help. I just feel like I can't let her down now. How do I do this?
Diane mom to many
The issue is she is going to deliver in the hospital Esik died in, the hospital where I was told that I should let Ella die. She is going to a Maternity clinic and so could have any Ob/Gyn for delivery. Dr. D. the one who failed my son is part of this clinic, and Dr.B who said to let Ella die when I had my water break at 24 wks is too.
I have started to panic about how I will deal with this. What will I do if that ******* Dr. d walks in to deliver her baby? How can I be support to her when I think she has a complete moron for a OB? Dr.B I can sort out on my own because at least I have Ella with me. I can suck it up and deal with Dr. B I just need to have an adivan or two. There isn't enough Adivan in the whole world to get me in the same hospital, ward and room with Dr.D after how he treated my little guy and I that week almost 4 years ago.
I am all my friend has though, she has no one else to really support her in this time. She has had alot of issues with this baby, and I have been there for her, helping her. The sorrow of her choice with her last baby has been tough and she has called on me for help. I just feel like I can't let her down now. How do I do this?
Diane mom to many