Advice on hospital visitors?

[phnx0221]

I'm planning on having my first little one at the hospital, and will be calling my family to let them know of th imminent arrival. This is something I've planned on for a while, and have already talked with the people in my family about it. This includes my mom, her husband, my sister, her fiance, her daughter, and my brother. All, except my mom, will be coming in after the baby is born, tests are done, etc. I was thinking that this would be about an hour or so, but then I realized that I'm going to want to breastfeed for the first time as well, and am not really comfortable with all those people in there while I'm doing that for the very first time.

The question that I have is, how did you guys handle the visitor situation? I'm now thinking that it'll be at least a couple of hours before I'll be ready for visitors, but I don't want to put anyone off. I know that it sounds weird for me to say that, as my baby and I should be my first concern, but this is a big moment for them too.

Any advice?

~Amy

[Rach]

In my opinion, breastfeeding is more important. I would ask that there be no visitors for at least a couple of hours after the birth. You can talk to the hospital staff about this beforehand and they will comply, by keeping your visitors away until a better time.
I know it'll be hard, since everyone is so excited, but I personally feel I'd rather have all the time I wanted to bond, before people started pouring in, ooohing and ahhhing and holding the baby.

[allgirls]

ask the nurses to keep people out...they will do this...they will post a sign on your door if you need to be alone as well. Once you are ready for visitors you can just let them know. Also...your DH could help you as well...make a sign for the door and put it in you suitcase "Quiet time for mom and baby...no visitors right now" pack it and scotch tape and use as required

When I had my first two(hospital births) it was an hour at least before we could call anyone (and before we wanted to) and we just told everyone that I would call them back once I was "allowed" to have visitors.

You could call and let them know things are up and say we will call you when baby is here and let you know when you can come..blame it on hospital policy if you have to. There is no guarantee that they will be able to see you and baby right away anyway...I had bleeding after my second was born and had to stay in the delivery room for 2 hours for observation...I was fine, baby and i were together..it was a precaution...but no visitors were allowed except DH.

[phnx0221]

Awesome, thanks. I was looking for a polite way to express this, and I think that about does it right there! Having the nurses aware of this, and letting them take over for me would be awesome. I think the sign idea is a great one too.

My first concern is breastfeeding and bonding with the baby, and I know that my nervousness with bf'ing in front of people for the first time could possibly compromise that first experience. Since I know that this is the most important one, I don't want to do anything to compromise it! I just have a hard time being direct sometimes (something I'm just going to have to get used to being a new mom I'm sure. :)), and am starting to feel a bit of pressure now that the day is getting closer and I'm realizing a bit more of what will actually be taking place once the baby is born. I always thought baby was born, people saw it, then you went to sleep. Apparently, it's not really like that. There's a whole lot of stuff in between! :LOL

Thanks so much for your advice!

[mamabeth]

Also, I just wanted to add that no matter what the birth is like you will probably want/need a shower, and that might not be for a few hours at least. I remember feeling so icky and not wanting to see anybody until after I was relatively clean.

The good thing about the hospital as opposed at your house is that people tend to not stay very long, just in and out. Also, I found that if someone was there and I started to get out a boob or even talk about feeding the baby they disappeared really fast. :) Kinda funny but helpful in the long run. Good luck to you!

[RyvreWillow]

Haha! You just reminded me of the first time i popped a boob out with my dad in the room after my son was born, lol, it was a long day, and there wasn't a modest bone left in my body after delivery. You might actually have to remind yourself there are visitors around, i sure did! Motherhood does the strangest things to us :P

[phnx0221]

:laugh: I will certainly have to keep that in mind!
As far as the shower thing goes, yes, that's one more thing that hadn't crossed my mind yet. I think I'm going to call my mom and talk with her about this. She is going to be with me in the delivery room, and once I call her, she was going to place the other calls to get the other family members rolling. I think that now, we'll change the dialogue (sp?) to "Hey, just wanted to let you know, we're on our way to the hospital. We'll give you a call once the baby's here and let you know when to start heading out" or something like that. I certainly don't want to be under any sort of time constraints right after l&d.

[philomom]

I did not allow any visitors at the hospital. I was only there 12 hours anyway. I let the relatives start coming when I am home and safely entrenched in my own bed.

[Aka mommy]

We only called my mom and sister to let them know we were heading to the hossy. They respected our wishes and didnt harrass us or call anyone else, we called them 2 hours after dd was born. I have to say, for us it was the best way to go! After the 2 hours of just 'family time' we called, and i got in the shower while we waited for my parents, my sister, and dh's brother to arrive. We were released 12 hours after dd was born, so i dont know what we would have done had it been a prolonged stay. But we did not call anyone else til we got home and had taken naps! I think the way we did it definately helped with breastfeeding and bonding!!!

[scatterbrainedmom]

i told the nurses and doctor that i didn't want any visitors right away, but that was totally ignored.
my legs where still in stirrups and they were letting people in. idiots i say