Well, it happened

[HoosierDiaperinMama]

I knew someone was bound to ask how the new baby was doing. It happened today. :(

Background: About a month before Reagan was born, I was wanting to add more students, so DH put an ad in the paper for my private piano studio. I got several calls and explained to everyone that I would be taking the month of September off because I was going to have a baby.

Fast forward to today. One lady called back (I started back teaching this week) to schedule her lesson and she said, "How are things going w/the new baby?" I was so caught off guard that I just blurted out, "My baby didn't make it." This woman felt sooo bad. She apologized profusely and I managed to tell her that it was okay. She didn't know about what happened. She was just being kind in asking. It was literally all I could do to keep it together on the phone. I just let her know that Reagan was stillborn but I didn't have the energy to go into all the details.

I knew it would happen, but like I said, it caught me way off guard. How do you deal w/people asking?

[egoldber]

I knew it would happen, but like I said, it caught me way off guard. How do you deal w/people asking?

I'm so sorry. These moments are really hard. :hug

I dreaded going back to the gym and having pseudo-strangers (the ones you recognize because you both go to the gym at the same time most weeks but have no idea what their name is) ask me how the baby was. It only happened a couple times and after the first time I was mentally prepared for it. But its hard. :hug

[Debstmomy]

:hugs Amy!
This happened to me right after Alexa died. I think the day before her funeral. I was @ my Mom's & her friend was calling her. I stupidly answered the phone & the lady asked when I was having that baby. I was very rude. I spitted out, "I had my baby. She died. Here's my Mom."
I was so pissed at her!! I felt like the question was so insensitive, & I am not sure why, as it was a legit question...but perhaps ignorant question.
I have since chalked it up to a learning experience. My UPS guy helped me with this too. He asked, how are things going? (He had a stillbirth 20 years ago & shared with me his story after he asked how are things going, & I told him.)
So, not to steal your thread. It was bound to happen. I was rude & angry. & then I learned a better question to ask.
Hugs, Amy...It does get better. & as always come here & vent.

[AllyRae]

:hug: I'm so sorry Amy. :( I've been getting it a lot too, and the only thing I can say is that Ryland passed away during birth. Not the happiest conversation, but there's no easy way to say it. Or I just try to avoid people who don't know until people that do clue them in. But I constantly dread going out and potentially running into people who knew I was pregnant but didn't know Ryland passed away. It just sucks. :(

:hug:

[Ben's Mommy]

:hug's Amy - unfortunately I think we all have to go thru this, and I wish I knew of an easy way. I had this happen just last week at work. It is so hard when it happens and I wish I knew better how to handle it. I ended up crying in the bathroom for most of the morning. :(

:grouphug to everyone who has to go thru this.

[KYCat]

:hug Amy.
This whole thing just really sucks doesn't it?
No advice as I'm not good at it either. I find that I hold my emotions in so much that I worry that I come off cold, but I just know that if I start crying it will be too hard to stop. I often want to talk about it, but not when I'm not expecting it, you know?
:hug