Just as frustrated with you as you are with them

[mightymoo]

I was playing legos with DD today and she kept saying 'Mommy, can you help me?' "can you help me with the blue one?" and I would take the blue lego and put it somewhere and she would say 'No Mommy Can you help me?' 'Please help me!' very frustrated. Asking her what she wanted me to do elicited no further information on exactly what help she needed. But as I was sitting there frustrated becuase I didn't get what she wanted it dawned on me that she probably feels the same way most of the time I'm asking her to do somethin or upset because she did something I didn't want her to do.

So I just thought I'd share that thought - as frustrating as toddlers and young children are to us - how hard it is to understand why on earth they do what they do or what they want from us, we are probably just as frustrating as them, if not more so. Thinking about it from that angle definitely helps me sympathize with her when she's "misbehaving"

[octobermom]

I hear what your saying ans I remind my self of this often..
As for the help me when playing. IMHO if my DD is playing with a toy like leggos where she knows how all parts work and she asks for help, I'll say something like let me see what YOU can do or show me wich piece and where you want it to go and verbally guide her. I really only help when its obvious she needs it. If she brings me a piece and says she wants me to put it on and where then I do so I just wont do it over and over.

Deanna

[meemee]

i know what u r saying. i have felt that right from when my dd was a newborn. i always felt she was crying because i couldnt understand what she wanted.

one of the things i always did was tell her that i didnt really understand what she was saying - either words not clear, or no real purpose understood. like in ur case i would look at the blue legos around and see if i could see what she was talking about and then offer different scenarios. do u want me to pick up that blue one. should i check to see that blue one in ur tower is put on ok...

[EmmaJean]

wow, that really hits home for me. I feel like I've been a b-a-d mom lately, yelling way too much.....I feel like I can't get through to James and he just ignores me. I need to be speaking his language more.... Wow, this isn't easy!