dads in support of midwives

[aisraeltax]

i am considering going to a midwife since i became dissatisfied with my drs suggestion that i have a planned c/s. can any dads out there give me your thoughts so i can try to reassure my dh.
thanks
Rach

[Sweetiemommy]

I am not a dad (obviously), but my dh was very enthusiastic about our midwife. I think the best person to talk to your husband is your midwife. She will be able to answer all his questions and reassure him in a professional manner. Also, I don't know if you are planning a homebirth, birth center or hospital birth, but if you are in a hospital your midwife will have access to all of the same things a doctor would anyway. My dh was very excited about our homebirth because he felt that we would not be bothered by interfering medical staff and hospital rules. He was happy to not have to mediate between my wishes and those of the hospital.

[Dov]

We had a midwife for the second (ds) child... and he was a home-birthed baby. The first (dd) was hospital birthed but we had a Doula and our Doc was pro-midwife, pro-Bradley, etc. The hospital staff was so over-the-top obnoxious and knew way less than we did about giving birth and what's normal and all that (you know it's bad when the Doc kicks nurses out of the room because they're interfering). We swore we'd never do hospitals again. Our midwife was phenomenal.

I do recall that at first, the midwife seemed a little distanced to me... wouldn't make eye contact, etc. It was like a secret deep feminine thing I wasn't "getting" and I felt weird. I said something to my dw and she suggested just being blunt about it to the midwife. I did just that the next office visit and the distance vanished. She loved the "deep feminine" connection thing and it gave her insight in how to deal with me so I could do what I needed to for my dw. My dw was so much more content and empowered with the midwife than she had in the previous pregnancy so, anything that makes my godess empowered is priceless. Our midwife was awesome.

Between our Doula, the midwife and her assistant and my dw, being involved in supporting and "working" a homebirth was mind blowing... and all that "deep feminine" stuff was still there, but it wasn't weird anymore. Taught me a lot about women... oh yeah, we even had a minor complication which was handled so naturally no emergency interventions were ever needed. Knowledge is indeed power.

So, bottom line, the midwife helped me grow up a little too... not too shabby since all she really had to do was help dw give birth safely. A doc wouldn't have understood that... well, maybe a doc would but not the ones we knew at the time. Oh, our midwife had a backup Doc who was really cool, although we only met him once or twice. Turns out he partnered with a midwife to setup the Ventura Women's Place, a midwife birthing center. So of course that Doc would have understood because he was already dialed into the midwifery thing.

Tell dh, this Dad highly recommends midwives! "Peace on Earth starts with Birth. Support Midwives!" :thumb

[rdl2k5]

Before our first daughter was born, I wasn't anti mid wife, but I was definitely uneducated about them.

The idea of a midwife brought images of "Some woman that delivers a lot of babies in a barn" Pardon the absurd comment, but I think the gist of that is understood. Until you learn more about them, you don't realize the extensive works it takes to become a MW.

Midwives are highly trained, highly educated women who get more training than doctors do on child birth. Doctors are trained on how to prescribe medicine and how to perform money making procedures. Doctors get no mandatory training on breastfeeding in schools (although some do for their own sake)

My main concern was "What if something bad happens and we need to go to the Doctor?" FIrst of all. My wife was able to walk around, take a shower, get in any position she wanted, eat/drink as she wished, not be hooked up to devices. We did end up going to the hospital for a C-Section after 17 hours of labor but the midwife didn't try to be a hero. SHe said "It's time" and with our agreement, we went. The birth process isn't dangerous. Yes certain points in it are higher risk than others, but over the course of the "Birth Day" It isn't this day full of "High alert, any moment could be deadly!"

We did find a great Doctor in the process who was very very supportive of everything. His first visit to our room he said "Let's go for a VBAC next time." He didn't ask if that's what we wanted.. Very pro breast feeding, etc etc.

I am not pro Doctor or Pro Mid wife for the next one. I and my wife really liked our Doctor and will start with him. We'll express our concerns and ask what our options are. We'll be having the next one when our daughter is 1.5 years old and it won't be appropriate (in our eyes) for her to be away for a day, 2 or 3. We want her to be involved in the process as it is. We will see what our options are. We have conflicting reports about a VBac at the birthing center. We'll go with whatever is right at the time.

I highly encourage actually speaking with some of them. The birth center in our town had a lot of down to earth intelligent women who I felt confident with.

[papapoochie]

I am a dad and we had a midwife. Actually, we were a part of a midwifery group practice of about 10 midwives and a doctor who got involved if the delivery turned south.

They are highly skilled and trained (post master's education in nursing w/a specialty in midwifery). They were very much in tuned to my DW and her needs. We would use them again!

We intended to birth in a birthing suite but had unexpected difficulties and ended up in the medical hospital. The midwife worked in collaboration with the staff nurses and actually played a lead role in the delivery. The nursing staff at the hospital had different views on handling the contractions and pushing, etc, and the mid wife took charge and gave a very intellegent and logical explanation as to why the nurses needed to follow her. And they did. I was very much impressed with her.

Good luck. :)

[Cheshire]

Comments I've heard my dh say about our midwife hospital birth include:

-the doc we first went to just about ignored him. The midwives (a practice of four) all took the time to visit with him and answer his questions, etc. He liked it that they made him feel welcome and very much a part of the process.

-the midwife was with us from start to finish when we got to the hospital. She had to leave to go deliver another baby but as soon as that was done she came back. DH didn't like the idea of a doc not being in the building and then rushing in just in time to catch the baby. Our midwives practice has one midwife at the hosptial on 24 hour shifts.

-the midwives were always very responsive to our after hours phone calls. I think we had to make three and they were fantastic at returning the calls within 5 minutes.

I hope these help!

[Lissybug]

This is Lissybugs Husband- When we researched our birth options, I was extremely concerned about the safety/professionalism of midwives when Alissa first suggested this option. I had visions of hippies, communes and treehuggers all trying to deliver our baby. What I found was a residential home converted into a very professional, yet comfortable office and exam rooms. We were immediately at ease after our initial consultation with the midwives as they exhibited extensive knowledge and answered all of our questions completely.
As for the safety concerns, we learned that with our local hospital if there were any complications it would take a half hour to prepare the operating room. This goes for all patients- whether in hospital or not. As we were located within a half hours drive from the hospital this put my mind at ease.
Secondly- our research of statistical data showed that we were far less likely to have complications with the midwives model of care. See this website- http://www.cfmidwifery.org/mmoc/ for more information. We became members of this organization following the birth of our son, as we felt so strongly about the professional and caring service we received.
Finally, throughout the pregnancy we experienced far more care than we would have in a doctors office/hospital with our numerous scheduled visits. I was treated as an equal partner in the birth, not just a tag-along. As Alissa went 18 days overdue our visits were once or perhaps twice daily. The support and service was unmatched. I do not believe we would have found this experience in a hospital.
I hope this helps. Reply to us if you have any questions.

Michael

[FuelJetA]

We had a wonderful experience. The birth was warm, intimate and wonderful! I caught our son as he came out of his momma. It was better than wonderful, it was a life changing event. It was not scary, gross, or otherwise negative. I would highly encourage anyone to try it!