Back to work?? need advice. update

[StarCat]

So I go back to the mw tomorrow. I'm 32 weeks now. I have been out of work for almost a month now because I was having a lot of cramping. For the past week I haven't had any cramping and for the most part have felt pretty good- kinda achy, cranky and blah but no preterm labor type things. I know she will keep me out of work if I want her to, but there really doesn't seem to be any reason to keep me out. If I go back to work, though, I am going back to the same high stress environment, 12 hours of running my butt off lucky to eat or get a break, although i would go back part time (2 12-hrs/week as opposed to 3). Also- the dr's and nurses are VERY unsupportive of my decision to deliver at a birth center w/ mw and usually tell me so any chance they can. so there are some negative vibes there.
So why would I go back??
1) money- we can technically afford for me to stay out (eating into savings) but I have used up all my paid hours and will use up all of my FMLA time. Plus I carry the benefits for the family and we will now have to pay out of pocket for them.
2) I may not have a job guaranteed after I have the baby because they don't have to hold my position after 12 weeks. And I really wanted my 3 months home with the baby. I won't be able to get 3 months before the baby AND 3 months after.

***After talking with my mw she did what I thought she would do. Said it was up to me to decide but that she wanted me to look her in the eye and tell her what I would tell a pt. to do if I were in her position. I guess I know deep down that it is not the right time to be in that enviornment. I do feel better than I had but I realized that I only feel better because I have decreased my stress not improved my ability to cope with it. So I really need to take measures to do that. I'm hoping a lot of its hormonal but I know it will be hard with 2 little ones. And you guys are totally right...if I lose my job I can get a new one, one of the few good things about being a nurse! :)

[IncaMama]

although obviously it's more complex than this, i'd say that the health of you and your baby come before all monetary issues. you can figure out the financial situation...you can't "figure out" your baby's health and your own health. :)

good luck with this decision - it's not easy!!

[Geofizz]

Talk to HR about the FMLA. You get 12 weeks per event in a year. I wonder if the pregnancy complications in 2005 and maternity leave in 2006 are considered different events.

[xmasbaby7]

First, I remember how hard yiou were working yourself and I am so glad you have had some time to rest your body. Good for you! You needed it!

I really don't know what to tell you. I understand your pragmatic reasons for going back, but I worry for you about the reasons you don't. They are so powerful. What if the physical stress of your nursing job and the emotional vibes of your colleagues were to have a negative effect on your health and delivery? Would it be worth it? Wouldn't delivering a pre-term baby, for example, be even more complicated and risky?

I also guess I am ignorant about this, but I thought it was always easy for nurses to find work because they are in such high demand. Is that not tha case where you live?

Sorry I really don't know what to say, but I am so glad you have been resting and feeling better!

[oliversmum2000]

if i were you i would check out what youw ere legally intitled to with regard to breaks and lunch, find out your rights and be firm and take them.

make sure you get lunch and breaks that you have a right to and be strong if people dont appprove remember you are doing this for your baby.

secondly i would make it clear to colleagues that while you appreciate their 'concern' that it is not a topic open for discussion and that you will not be discussing it.

i hope that this may help you

good luck

[wawoof]

I really feel for you. I agree with the prev posters that you should check to be very sure of your leave rights. At my employer, pregnancy disability is different from FMLA, but I'm sure that may very from employer to employer. Also, as a nurse, hopefully it wouldn't be very difficult for you to find a different job if you lose your current one, because as xmasbaby said, nurses are in high demand in most places. But most of all, how much pain, stress, and effort would it require to deal with health issues and take care of your baby if s/he arrives prematurely? And how does that compare with the financial stress of being off work a little longer before the baby arrives? You could also try going back part-time, and just decide what you will do if there is any more cramping. If you go back and there is no problem, great. If you go back and there is cramping, is it worth the risk? I'm not suggesting there is one right solution - you have to make the right decision for you and your family. Wishing you a healthy remainder of your pregnancy :hug

[JennP]

In my experience the preg and maternity leave may not be different events BUT when time for either falls in different years you are entitled to 12 weeks per year. So if you have the baby on oct 1 and take 12 weeks till Dec 31, on Jan 1 you can apply for another 12 weeks for 'bonding time' with the baby.

I have my dd on Dec 10th so I had the rest of Dec off and then took time in Jan Feb and 1 week in March. I did not take my full 12 weeks then instead I took another week or so off when we moved so I could situate dd in her new daycare, spend some much needed time with her and get moved in.

Make sure you are well informed of your choices with your time, I also took all mine unpaid except the disability part they give you, I did not want to take all my vacation while I could take time off for free, I understand this is not always possible but something else to think about.

Good luck!