ds is pushing & kicking - how to best handle this?

[alison77]

so my ds is 27 months old, and has begun to push other kids and kick them (from when he's sitting down, just bends his knees and kicks his feet out). previously we've just been talking to him about it, as it had been mostly pushing, only one kicking incident. last night we were at my cousin's house for dinner and ds was sitting on their couch. my cousin's 19 month old dd was trying to climb up on the couch as well, and ds just kicked her off. we decided that he needed to go home after doing this. he was very upset about that - we brought him home and i talked to him about how in order to play with other kids he needs to be responsible and that means not hurting them in any way, being aware of our actions, etc. he eventually calmed down afterwards and we read together.

i guess my question is that he really is so young, and i wonder to what extent will he associate his action with our reaction. would people have dealt with this situation differently? any success stories on pushing or kicking??? thanks!

[katallen]

He really can't be aware of himself that much. When my daughter is annoyed and pushes or pinches I take her away from the situation and remind her to use her words, then I tell her the words to use to ask for help. Usually this happens when her space or her things are being invaded. I don't talk a lot about it because I don't believe in dwelling on things. Usually just a reminder is all that is needed and also making sure that she is not squished by others. It sounds like he is not so much being aggressive as trying to get his own space and I think you are expecting a little to much out of him by expecting him to watch out for others and be responsible. He is barely two and his world is still pretty much self centered and expecting more than that is probably going to make outings stressful on both of you.