Do you ever find yourself using Playful Parenting on your partner?

[nwaddellr]

I had a bit of a revelation the other day as I was asking my DH to get something done around the house and trying to make a joke of the issue - I was using something that sounded a lot like playful parenting on him! :LOL I try really hard not to nag, but sometimes the issue really needs to be addressed. Lately, I've been trying to address it in a more lighthearted manner, and it seems to work. It might not get done right away, but at least my DH doesn't get annoyed that I'm nagging - anyone else find themselves doing this?

[vegaenglit]

im not really familar with playful parenting but i have tried a few "positive discipline" techniques on jeremy. instead of "can you please empty the dishwasher?" i said, "i need your help, would you like to empty the dishwasher or give lucien his lunch?" he popped right up to empty the dishwasher; the former question would have meant he might have emptied the dishwasher an hour or so later.

i do find though, i have a lot less patience with jeremy than i would with lucien. like jeremy should "know" what needs to be done without me have the "trick" him into it. but the times i have used it, it has worked. if i can get it to work on jeremy without wanting to smash something, i should be able to handle whatever lucien throws at me when he gets older.

[sophsmom]

YES! All the time! But I still can't convince him to let me "win" when we wrestle. :nut

Another book that I "use" the techniques with dh is "How to Listen so Kids will Talk and Talk so Kids will Listen".

[Fuamami]

Yeah, what do they say about catching more flies with honey than vinegar? We both definitely use this around our house.

[annab]

Another book that I "use" the techniques with dh is "How to Listen so Kids will Talk and Talk so Kids will Listen".

I have tried this. When I get to the 'give information' portion, he totally shuts down. He is not wired to receive information and then extrapolate. "When you leave your half-eaten sandwich in the lunch box, it becomes vile, and I have to deal with it." He has told me--get to the point. No questions, no details, just tell me what you want done and add 'please'.

[nwaddellr]

Ooh yes, choices. I have to remember to bring this one back more. It gives him the sense of control over the situation, and yet the work gets done without me having to do it all. Although sometimes my DH will respond with why do I have to do either? Ummm, because they need done, and why do I have to do them?

[beccaboo]

I think the principles of non-violent communication are applicable in all of our interactions with people.

On the other hand, I do recall a couple instances when DH and I were talking (not agreeing) and he said, "don't talk to me like I'm three years old." I'm not sure any more if it was my tone or my words, but he recognized techniques I use with our kids and didn't like it... :shrug

[alisaterry]

I keep telling my husband that I wouldn't nag so much if he wouldn't promise to do something and then not do it....

I have done the choices thing and it always works. Hopefully nobody here knows me and will inform my husband. It usually starts with "I need help getting some things done. Will you unload the dishwasher or would you rather fold this load of laundry for me?" or something similar, and then he'll make a choice, and once I start the one he didn't choose, he gets started on his.