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Patti Ann
10-11-2005, 02:55 PM
On Sunday after church we stopped at Walmart to pick up something for my cousin visting from Ireland. Dh was in line and I was behind him just kind of slowly walking up towards him. All of a sudden I hear this women saying excuse me, excuse me to me. She was at the back of the line motioning to me to come to her. I didn't recognize her, but walked back towards her.

She said she wanted to know how sorry she was for my loss. She said she was a member of my church and saw me at church today and saw how sad I was. She said it had happened to her too and wanted to let me know she was thinking of me. She had debated calling our priest to get my number, but she said when she saw me at Walmart too she was being called to say something to me.

She asked about the baby. Was is a boy or a girl? I told her about Griffin and what had happened. I asked her about her loss. she said hers was due to a medical error, that she had pushed for 4 hours and the baby was in distress. I asked her how long ago and she said it would be 7 years in November. He was her first and she was currently pregnant with her 6th and due in January. She wanted to let me know that things will get easier over time. She asked if we would have another and I said yes. Talked to her about trying again soon, but people cautioning me about delivering in the same month. She said her second was also born in November and that was a good thing. I wished her luck and she did the same.

Now here is the strange part. As soon as she told me it was a medical error my brain started working. When I asked her how long ago, I knew she would tell me 7 years in November. November 2nd to be exact. I didn't tell her that though. It turns out I was helping out with the code on her son. The only code I've been involved in as a nurse. I remember the day very well and think about her often. I work the 3:45pm-12:15 am shift. I remember coming to work that day and seeing a family on the benches outside our unit with It's a Boy balloons. I went in to the locker room, got dressed and came out onto the unit to start my shift. As soon as I was out by the desk we heard the emergency code light go off. The pediatrician and nursery nurse were already at the delivery because of meconium stained fluid. When we got to the room the baby was already delivered, but wasn't breathing and didn't have a heart rate. A full recussitation began. I remember giving the mom an IM shot of Pitocin because of her bleeding. The code went for about 5 minutes in the mom's room and then we went to the nursery. Once in the nursery I began helping with the code. I was drawing up medications for the doctor to use and I was recording the events. The code lasted for about 45 minutes, but the baby never took a breath or had a heart rate. We were all just devestated. The first and only time I have ever been working when something like this has happened. A law suit was filed and I got called to be a witness for the defense. I never had to go to trial and then was told they wouldn't need us. I don't know if it ever went all the way to trial or if it was settled before then.

I didn't tell this woman any of this. I just thought it was so strange that she felt compelled to talk to me because she had seen me in Walmart after church. Like there was a reason to say something to me. Like she knew we had some kind of connection. Part of me just wanted to tell her that I was there with her son and that we tried everything to try to save him. I have thought of this couple alot and just felt so bad for them. I am glad to know now that she has gone on to have many healthy children since then and that it gets easier over time.

Just wanted to share because it was such a interesting experience for me.

Patti




Debstmomy
10-11-2005, 04:43 PM
Wow! That is an amazing story....How this world revolves in circles amazes me.

BumbleBena
10-11-2005, 04:49 PM
That's incredible! Are you planning to see her again soon?

HoosierDiaperinMama
10-13-2005, 03:07 PM
That is an amazing story, Patti. Even though you two will always have this sad connection, you can always count on her for support!! :hugs

AllyRae
10-13-2005, 06:48 PM
Oh wow...that is...I think "amazing" is the only word I can come up with...

Ben's Mommy
10-13-2005, 08:11 PM
Wow! That is truely amazing! I don't know if you will ever tell her that you were one of the nurses helping her son. But...I recently found out that my L&D nurse quit after she found out that my Benjamin had passed away, and I would have loved to have talked to her or send her a card or something. So, telling her may be something you want to think about. Just a thought. :)

Patti Ann
10-14-2005, 01:13 PM
I wanted to tell her, but not sure if it was the right thing to do because of the law suit. Not sure if it is settled. I guess I could call the risk management department in the hospital to ask their advice. Even if I don't tell her, it would be nice to talk to her again. Thanks for your replies.

You are all in my thoughts.

Patti

Starr
10-14-2005, 01:59 PM
If it were me I would tell her. I think it would be reassuring even after 7 years to hear that everything possible was done to help the baby. And also to let her know that someone else is still thinking about her son after all these years and that even for a short while he touched other people lives. It seems like the two of you have a connection and need to act upon it. Good luck in your decision.

butterfly_mom
10-14-2005, 11:31 PM
Good luck in your decision. It's a tough one but if I were her, I think i'd like to hear from the person who helped in trying to save my baby. There is definately a connection between the two of you.

How are you doing?

wheezie
10-16-2005, 08:23 AM
Wow, it's a small world isn't it? Personally if it were me, I'd love to hear from someone who tried to save my baby.

:hug