help w/ demanding toddler!

[brandy111803]

Ahh!!! That's the feeling of my days lately. Our ds is almost 2 (next month) but he has always been a demanding child. I'm to my wits end! He always wants to be entertained, will repeat the same sentence over and over until you say what he says (but he talks incessantly throughout the day) ;) and always wants things done !right now! We are 10 weeks preg and I'm tired and sick with hormones all over the place. My patience used to be better and I could deal w/ this by blocking it out sometimes, distraction and simply just going along w/ things. Now I'm going nuts! I don't know what to do to bc so many things are "wants" and not "needs" but I find myself snapping at him, crying and dreading #2 bc of the fear of having 2 demanding children.

So I guess my questions are: how do some AP children become so demanding...I mean, we have been attentive to him trying to be sure his cup is filled but now he's demanding even more it seems. The second is what do I do to get through the days w/ his demands? When does it cross the line and how to do I gently stand my ground when he just has these unreasonable "wants"? I'm sad that I'm dreading bb #2 but I am having a hard time w/ #1! I can't imagine how I'm going to deal w/ a toddler who thinks that the world revolves around him when he realizes that it doesn't and there is another person that has "needs" I "have" to attend to. Urg....I'm having a hard time being optimistic.

So please don't flame me on this. I wish I wasn't feeling this way but I just don't know how to get back on track and not pull out my hair. I don't like feeling angry towards ds and I know I'm not much fun to be around right now either. Any help w/ ppl who have dealt w/ a demanding child would be greatly appreciated.

TIA,

[canadiyank]

Man, I remember having those fears about having two! I was terrified! But it actually has gone really smoothly, way better than I thought!

Sounds like a lot of your anxiety comes from when he's expressing frustration, being demanding, etc? I would check out the book, "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary - she has tons of practical ideas, even for toddlers.

As far as the repetitive questions, I've found it helpful to say, "What do you think?" (after I've answered it...). "You want the cookie. You are disappointed that it's for after lunch." "Yes, you really want me to read right now. But mama needs a little rest b/c I'm not feeling well." And there's always, "Asked and answered" for the endless whining for something.

Any other specific scenarios for which we can help brainstorm ideas?

[Treasuremapper]

He sounds really bright. Yup, it's gonna be hard for a while, but then it is going to be so much easier with two children. Your son will get lots of attention from an adoring younger sibling. You will watch them play together and realize that this was the best thing you ever did in your life. Your son will be a better person and the whole family will grow and change.

My children are 22 months apart. I almost went nuts for a while. But now, every day is better than the one before, except that I remember that it is like sand through the hourglass, they are growing up too fast, etc., etc.

If your son is not even two yet, I don't have any good suggestions about how to get you a break unless you can enlist outside help. My high needs older dd didn't start to understand quiet time, etc. in a real way, until she was over three years old. But the mamas on this board are so resourceful that they are sure to have some great ideas I never occurred to me.

What an adventure.