Homebirth with older sibiling

[TaniaS]

Hi, I'm new to this message board. I am due January 11th with my second baby. My older daughter is now a little over 6 years old, and we had a wonderful homebirth experience with her. We are planning on having this one at home, too, and are now working on how to deal with our older one being there. Do any of you have experience with this situation or thoughts about it? We don't consider it a yeah/neah decision, but rather fluid, but I am looking for information or ideas that we might not have thought of yet. My midwife thinks it is fine with appropriate prep and someone there who is just there for her, and who can leave with her if necessary or if she would want to. I'm grateful for any experiences you could share... Thanks - Tania

[ehsclt]

Tania, I don't have homebirth experience (am delivering in a birthing center this time around and will hopefully have my other two present.) But I wanted to welcome you to the board and say that I'm glad you've joined us!

Emily

[Hollin]

Hi and welcome to the board! I was at a close friend's homebirth and my job was caring for her older daughter. I think having someone there who specifically can be there for the sibling is a good idea. They may need someone to feed them, entertain them, and reassure them that mommy is okay.

The girl I was with was a little younger than your dd, only 4, and probably had a shorter attention span. She wasn't that interested in the long labor so we spent a lot of time playing in another room and even took a walk to the park. She came to watch when the baby was being born and seemed really interested, but also a little worried about her mother and grossed out. "Ewwww" was what she said as the baby was actually coming out! The new family spent some bonding time for about an hour after the birth and then I went with the daughter to get some ice cream while the parents settled in with the new babe. Then everyone went to bed and I went home myself.

Again, your dd may be more interested in the birth and staying with you than this family's daughter. Overall though, I think the family was glad that their daughter could watch her brother being born and also see the natural process of birth. Good luck!

[hottmama]

I'm planning a UC for December and my son will be 35 mos., and DEFINITELY there (I will hold my legs together until he gets there if he's not home). I plan to have my partner + a few friends around, plus he knows how to entertain and feed himself (we'll probably prepare some meals he can get himself for labor and postpartum). We have talked about birth and he's seen photos of births, so I think he'll take it in stride, although he is really sensitive to my pain. My only concern is that he would freak out and want to hang on me going "what's wrong, mommy? You better now?" every time I make a pained noise or expression. But hopefully he'll take our explanations and not worry about me.