Doulas with small children, how do you do it?

[birthjunkie27]

In the summer of 2004 I had begun my doula training through DONA...even attended a workshop. I've read all the books, evaluated a Bradley class...but then I pretty much abandoned the whole thing before becoming certified because, A) I couldn't seem to find any preggo mamas who I could have used as my certification births B) If I DID find a preggo mama willing to work with a complete newbie I couldn't figure out what to do logistically with my kids- ages 1.5 and 3.5 at the time (something I should have thought through before, I know).

Fast forward to now- kids are now 2.5 and 4.5 and we're expecting #3 in a few weeks. I am really looking forward to the bonding time, and have no plans of continuing any more training any time soon.....BUT I DO plan on continuing eventually.

Question is- How do I do this logistically with 3 small children? I've heard of some doulas who have a babysitter that they can call at a moment's notice, but HOW in the world do you find someone that flexible/ dependable? Dh works long hours, so I can't depend on him.

I've also considered training to be a CBE.... that seems like it would be more do-able, since I wouldn't be "on call", I'd have set hours. But I REALLY want the thrill of attending births.

Any ideas/ advice? Thank you!

[Noelia430]

I'm lucky because I have my mom who lives 10 minutes away from me. I've heard of other doulas watching each others kids when attending births. Who would better understand the need for an "emergency" babysitter than another doula?

[homemademomma]

im not a doula, but i am a mw student (on call 24/7) so i am in the same boat. the ONLY way i am able to do it is because my dh is super supportive, and because i have an on-call baby sitter. i have had to use friends on occasion, but this system has worked out well for me. and yes, birth is really unpredictable, but a fair amount of the time you get at least a little warning before you have to be there, so you can figure your stuff out. thats been my experience, at least.

[Gray's Mommy]

I'm another lucky doula with family within 15 minutes of where I live. My husband works different shifts all the time & I really rely on my Mom & sister the most.

I only have one child right now & I normally only take 6 or so clients a year. I don't want to wear out my welcome at 3 in the morning :LOL

Mary

[Mamajamz]

I know there is another thread around here with some good responses.
I would network with other doulas. YOu'll find someone in the same boat and hopefully help each other out. You need a backup anyway, for that rare family emergency. Doula training is a good place to find people. Birth centers are great for volunteering on a more scheduled basis as an extra support person. I found some great help here in my neighborhood, a wonderful home daycare situation that was willing to take my kids for the occasional spontaneous need.

[havecutekids]

I have 3 and we have close family and a great support network of other doulas and midwives. I would definately suggest networking and becoming friends with like minded people who want to support you and then you can support them by watching each others kids!

[shay]

My sitter runs an at home day care. When I have a client due, She is alerted also. If I leave in the middle of the night, the kids go there and she gets $20 bucks just for that. She is OK with getting up and unlocking the door and putting them on the couch for $20. She gets up at 6 am to receive kids for daycare anyway! Tallk to home day care providers about this, I bet they would be happy to help you.

[Thmom]

I'm am lucky to have a dh with a flexible job so he can come home at anytime, stay home to let me recover etc...
But I would see about getting into a doula group, you can share a calendar so there is always at least one doula without a client at any given time etc... kinda like a midwife practice kwim...

[Mamajamz]

Just to encourage you...I talked to a doula friend of mine recently. We had met a few years ago and kinda kept up here and there. The topic of discussion was often how to do what we do and take care of our kids too. It was neat to check in with her and hear that things have fallen into place little by little through DH's job, through meeting other doulas of like mind. They have formed a doula co-op of sorts that isn't just a group of doulas thrown together but rather mothers/doulas who have so many similarities that the client of one will not have a major adustment to make either in philosophy or personality if another of them ends up attending the birth. So, it has evolved and she has evolved, and she is happily doing what she is called to do as all things have fallen into place. I am just so sure that if it is meant to be it is meant to be and things work out.

[bethanydykman]

I am in the same boat at you (sort of)! :nut It can be crazy trying to find childcare. My husband has agreed to stay with my kids (8 months and 3 years) during the night, even though the little guy breastfeeds at night (a lot!). And I have a SAHM friend who has agreed to be on call during the day. Find moms who are home with their kids. They're more likely to be flexible and may want to make a little money sitting for your kids. Or trade childcare. Some moms would love to watch your kids if they knew they could have a day all to themselves in return! It can be win-win situation. Find those moms at LLL meetings, church, play groups. Networking is key! Good luck! :)

Bethany

[wildflowermama]

I am a homeschooling mama and getting ready to enter the birth world. My babysitter is a former homeschooling mama who is excited to help out. I also have another homeschooling mama who is also a doula that will be my backup doula and I imagine we can back each other up with sitting. My plan is to take on no more than one client a month and I might actually start out just volunteering at a hospital one weekend a month or something like that.

[jenneyrebecca]

I'm in the same boat, I have a 7-mo who nurses all the time and I just haven't attended a birth since I was pg. I really miss it. But to advise the original poster, I'd have to say, the thrill of going to births wears off after a while, when you get home from a 36-hour birth and when you're in the bathtub you get called away unexpectedly to another all-nighter. No matter how well you time things, it can be exhausting. You might be better off with the CBE thing.

As of now, I'm sort of just waiting until we move closer to my parents. Maybe soon, when the babe weans a little bit, I can get back to working, but for now I'm just not. :( Good luck!

[paloma]

1) rent a room to a college student. They take classes when DP is at work. They get a free room in exchange for set hours of on-call. Buy her a pager and telephone.

2)Pay someone a couple hundred bucks/mo. to be on call for you to sit. Buy them a pager and tel., and then pay for hours over a certain number every month.

[wildflowermama]

I wouldn't recommend attending births if you have a wee baby. Seems like they might need you more. (That's my experience anyway.)

Perhaps you could help other doulas with childcare and then when your little one is older you could go to births.

They are little for such a long time, it is ok to take a break from births or just only do a few a year.

[saritabeth]

I do it very rarely.

I am a very part time doula. My story is similar to yours. I almost had my cert thru DONA when I became pregnant with my first. My dd is 18 mo old and I attended a birth when she was 15 months old. She could go all day w/o nursing and she did well. I was away a full 24 hrs and was able to entrust my jewel to a family friend and my hubby (when he got home from work). Now I am pregnant again and not actively seeking out births.

While I *LOVE* attending births, I just sort of roll with it as far as timing and the right clients. I am not making a career out of this right now. The right births come at the right time.

I also have doula friends who we all want to share childcare once our most wee ones are a bit bigger and can last a full 24 hrs. w/o mama once in a while.

So, no special insight. It is a bit frustrating, but this is such a small sliver of time in the grand scheme...I want to enjoy this as much as I will enjoy doula-ing in the future.

Good luck!