Umm, how do you deal w/painful contrax when sexually aroused?

[2+twins]

This started for me in my last trimester w/my first dc and then from early on with my 2nd dc and now early again (I just began my 2nd trimester) with my current pregnancy. It's not intercourse that does it per-se - it comes from full-on arousal when we're, umm, active. :bag: I remember telling dh when I was pg with my first that we could do it as long as he was quick and I didn't enjoy it. It just sucks! I still have so far to go but if I get into it at all then I have severely painful contractions! Like I have to stop and try to work through them. Other people have this problem, right? What do you do about it? Avoidance? It also carries the psychological factor of making me nervous about the pain of labor (it's a big fat reminder - like I really need that right now).

:tiptoe

[MrsMoe]

It's a major reason why my sex drive has gone down to tubes... I get too nervous for sex, and prior to pregnancy my drive was very high.

Sometimes I really get in the mood... and sometimes I get lucky and the contrax don't hurt... but usually they do... I know for a fact that it's messed with my head. So a combo of the fear of the contrax doubled with a lower libido (hormones) I've just given up hope of a normal sex life for now and I pretty much am to the point where I will actually avoid it. Luckily, my husband is VERY understanding.

I do know that with me... it is the orgasim that causes the contractions - not the sex act itself, but to be frank I personally won't have sex if and withhold from having an orgasim, that would be WAY too frustrating. Technically, if you jsut wanted to fool around without climax, that might be a way for you to avoid the contractions.

I will mention, that there are many women on the forum that are pregnant and their sex lives have really turned up a new leaf and their drives are wonderful - so things COULD change for you.

If it doesn't change, keep in mind you are not alone, and at least it's not forever. :)

[zjande]

I feel your pain, lemme tell ya. All 3 of my pgs. My body is soooo contraction-happy my entire pgs, & always during arousal/sex/orgasm. Our sex life this pg has slowed down, as in we have less sex (1-2x/wk as opposed to daily) & the sex we have is much, much slower. It IS super sucky, but it's just one of those things we've gotten used to- having to stop for my contractions... & also over the months, I've just gotten more used to the pain of contractions all the time too, so sometimes I don't have to completely stop during sex, just breath deeper & try not to focus on the cx. One thing I wanted to say though is that these last couple months, I've really been glad that I have those darn painful cx for practicing relaxation! My reflex is normally to tense up, out of pain & annoyance. I breath steady & deep, but stay tense. Recently I've been focusing on relaxing, truly surrendering & letting my whole body go limp during the cx. They ARE good for practicing! My very worst cx are always after orgasm. It's become our habit this whole pg that the moment I O, DP gets out of the way (!) so I can immed. roll to my side & cx for like 2 mins.

Oh the joy of pregnant sex. :nut
I hope that your partner is understanding & supportive enough to be creative with the ways you have sex for these next few months. If he seems impatient when you're cx, I bet that would just make everything way worse & your cx even harder to relax through. I also like to remind myself that my uterus is getting a workout! That's good for easier birthing, and also I like to think it will be easier to get my flat belly back after the birth, 'cuz it's been working out all these months! :D

[2+twins]

Fortunately my dh is really good about it. I joked with him the other night that I guess it will just have to be all about him from now on. He was really fine with that. :lol It isn't exclusive AT ALL to orgasm, unfortunately - I think if I'm mentally in the game then I get the contrax. But practicing relaxation is a good idea - I try to do that already but I'm planning to try hypnobirthing this time around so once I learn those techniques I can put them to good use. :D It was interesting this last time though - it was a very strong contrax and it felt, for the most part, like extreme pain in my right kidney - like I had been punched there. I got to thinking about it and that's right around the spot where the uterus ties into my back. So I guess that explains that. I've always had very back-concentrated labor pains so I guess that makes sense for me.