Educate me

[safe womb]

I am a midwifery student and no matter how many books I read on the subject I still don't know how it feels to be a mom that has had a cesarean and what they feel etc.
I had a very easy birth with my dd. I birthed at home with 3 midwives and going to the hospital was not even an issue. BUT, I have been to the hospital many times with clients and have talked to them after the birth, but it is not the same reaction I would get months or even years later.
Please share with me. as a client teaching a to-be- care- provider
thanks

[stafl]

I felt like I had been raped, literally! Not just that, I felt like it was my fault I had been raped because I let it happen. It just made it worse when the nurses and doctors (and in-laws) acted like a c/s was no big deal. I was definitely in post-traumatic-stress. The physical pain wasn't so bad, not after having severe endo for 20-some years, anyway. It was emotionally the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I felt like my body had let me down, that it was somehow broken. I am still fighting these feelings, 20 months later.
If you had spoken to me immediately after the birth, I would have described what happened and answered your questions like a robot, no emotions attached to the entire ordeal. I didn't let myself feel any emotions until after I went home.

[pbk]

I have to agree with stafl about having not emotional reaction right afterwards. It took me a little while to allow myself to grieve. Right after the birth, I was in a state of denial. I was telling myself that I'd been in control, that I felt like I had still birthed her since I could feel when she left my body. In reality, I was feeling powerless, helpless and out of control. I

Recovering physically wasn't hard for me, but the emotional recovery was very difficult. It's been almost 5 years since my section, but I still get very emotional talking about it sometimes, and I still get teary from insensitive comments. The raw anger is gone, but I doubt the sadness will ever subside completely. Mine was an unnecessary section, so I had a lot of anger to work through. Anger towards the drs for steamrolling me into agreeing to the section, anger at myself for not saying no, anger at everyone who minimized my feelings.

I know there are some women who can have an operative birth without the emotional trauma, I've even met one. However her c-section was necessary to save her life and her baby's. Perhaps that makes a difference? I'm not sure.

I guess I'm in a rambling mood this morning....

Brenda, mama to Abigail (section due to breech), Isabella (HBAC) and Vincent (HBAC)

http://www.peanutbutterkisses.com

[safe womb]

thanks ladies for sharing with me. i would love to hear more. if you have time.
PBK my friend sells her waldorf dolls on your web site. Gabi is her name. I learned everything about making my dolls from her. I actually just got off the phone with her.
its nice you meet you:love

[Mom2baldie]

I had a c section because my son was frank breech. I was 19 years old, very trusting and very naive. My dr. told me all the risks of an external version so I decided not to do it. Everyone acted like having a csection was no big deal so I agreed to it. After my son was born he had trouble breathing so I didnt get to see him for several hours. When they brought him to me finally I didnt recognize him. He could have been anyones baby. To be honest I didnt really feel anything. I feel sad about having the csection still. Even moreso now that Ive had a vbac and know what my son and I missed out on. I feel guilty that he was born that way. I hate when people say that having a csection is the "easy way". I know several girls who have CHOSEN to have csections (1 because her baby was estimated at 9 lbs, and 1 because she was in labor for 12 hours with her 1st child and she didnt want to go through it again) I dont think those are valid reasons. I feel like if those girls just lay down for a section that I will have to work harder to get my next vbac. Drs. think they can do anything, say anything, bully you... Im sorry I didnt really answer your question at all, but those are some of my feelings.
Lynsey
chapter leader, ICAN of N. Texas

[Rachelsmom]

Well, here was my reaction to my c-section. I didn't have one. I was in pain yes but not being able to deliver vaginally never entered my mind...as of yet. I was in labor 1hr 30min and 6-7cm dilated when they "discovered" she was double-footed breech. I did cry when they said I had to have a c-section. Only months later did I get angry that the stupid doctor should have known she was breech, I was just at his office a week before. I am 34w pregnant now and finding it very difficult to find a practioner that will support me in a VBAC. I was see my 3rd on Wed and hopefully all will end well.

[safe womb]

Rachelsmom, I am so sorry that you are having a hard time getting a supportive doctor. I wish I could help you.
is it possible for you do go to a midwife?
I would love to hear the reasons that the doctor are giving you a hard time.
let me know where you are and I will see if I can find someone in your area that can help.
blessing:love

[Pynki]

My 1st c section was becasue ds was breech.. We tried an external version and it didn't work.. I was/ am ok with my c-section... The only thing i didn't like is the nurse wouldn't let my dh call our parents and tell them what was goin on.. It was like 7 30 in the morning ... Not a big deal, but she threw a whole hullaballu, and by the time we got out of the OR they were at church and didn't find out until much later that day...

My personal physical recovery was AWFUL!!! IT took forever to heal, and if i had one more nurse tell me i had to walk around i was going to hit them in the face... My friend has c-sections for medical reasons, and she doesn't have this problem,but they are AWFUL for me physically to repair from...

My 2 ds was a vbac, and i must say, the labor was horrible for me, but the recovery was SOOOOOO much easier... I would have another c-section again though if i thought it was neccesary... Since we are now pg with #3 it might be.. It's hard to say, but i am cool with it either way...

Warm Squishy Feelings....

Dyan
:)

[pbk]

Safe womb, small world! Gabi is so nice. She gave me a tip on doing the eyes that really improved the dolls I make my own kids. :) Seeing her dolls makes me want to learn how to crochet so that I can do the multi-style wigs for our dolls too.

It's nice to meet you too. I'm not at MDC all that often, but maybe I'll see you around. :)

Brenda, mama to Abigail (section due to breech), Isabella (HBAC) and Vincent (HBAC)

[zombiemommie]

I wouldn't say that I felt raped, or violated, or anything of that type - my situation is a little different I guess. I was under the care of a busy OB group, was basically uneducated on natural birth, did not take care of myself, developed pre-eclampsia at 38 weeks and had a miserable induction that failed. My body was not ready to have the baby, and they gave me cervidil, pitocin, I had 2 epidurals that neither took right, I was on Magnesium IV for the pre-eclampsia (that can be kinda mind altering and make you sick too), I was puking my guts up and felt like I was gonna die for 18 hours. When they suggested the c/s (my water had been broken by them 12 hours before) my exact words were "if I ever DID dilate to 10 I would die before I could push this baby out because I feel so horrible". I am a surgical ICU nurse and was well prepared for the surgery, I was not afraid of the surgical process/OR whatever. Maybe because I am comfortable in OR's, I didn't have that issue. When I was prepped for surgery, the 3rd epidural hit like a spinal and I almost stopped breathing. I also lost alot of blood. They had to turn off the pain medication to the epidural and I felt them closing my incision. It hurt like anything. Then I was sick and groggy for 24 hours and didn't even touch the baby, even tho I wanted to nurse. Of course wound up with latch/nursing problems becuase of that but nursed him until he was 2 anyway LOL... but back to c/s, then I had terrible fevers for 4 days, to 104, no medical reason could be found. I went home on day 5 and it was like the minute I walked in my home things were 1000 times better. I recovered extremely quickly, sent away my help, was doing laundry etc in a week. Very little incisional pain. My pain was with nursing.
My feelings about the c/s are related to they physical discomfort and sickness I felt before and after the surgery, because I felt like I was gonna die. I never had real labor, the way I feel now is "why did they even bother to induce, I was not ready, they could have just scheduled a c/s and saved the agony of the induction and post-op period".

Anyway, this time, I am attempting a VBAC with a CNM group in hospital, a fairly open minded hospital and a group I have heard wonderful things about and have done things like waterbirth in hospital, it is the closest I will get to homebirth. Being under their care has been bittersweet, because I feel cared for as a person, as a woman. I was a number at the other place, I didn't know any better. Do you think, as a mother going into pregnancy, overweight, stressful job, poor eating habits, borderline high BP, anybody would have said "work less, eat better, eat lots of protein, it is very important ?" Never a word uttered about nutrition, just as an example. I love my current group of midwives. I am so happy I made this decision. But it has led me to alot of hindsight things, what ifs, what could have been's. But I can't change it.

I am prepared for another c/s if I need it. NEED. I feel I have had my eyes wide open this whole preg, and know the benefits / risks of things. I took Bradley classes. I have been healthy. I feel so much better, my outlook is different. I don't know if I answered your questions. The other issue I have is that I feel like I just want to know that I can have a natural, non medicated birth, to prove to myself I can. I want to learn about myself, my strength. I don't feel less of a mom, less of a woman, because I didn't have a vaginal birth. I see if like a rite of passage i missed. And if I have a c/s again, I think I will be MORE depressed this time becaus I am looking forward to what "could have been" and don't want to miss my chance to have experienced my birth. But moreso, I just want a healthy baby and a healthy mom.

thanks for asking.

[Luckymomma]

The anger has never gone away. I'm angry at the doctors for not respecting birth as a natural process best left alone.I'm angry at myself for not knowing enough about labor to know that there is no clock, and that there is nothing wrong with 28+ hours. I walked into that stupid hospital thinking that these people were birth 'experts'. People who would know how to help me have my baby. No way. They are people who 'do things to you'(monitor, check, put in i.v's, give medications). They have no respect for birth.

I dilated so fast in the beginning. I was at least 6-7 by the time I got to the hospital. Then things seemed to stall out. I made it up to 9, doctor broke my water, and I know my sons head must have been slightly malpositioned, because I never got rid of the old anterior lip, and I never got the urge to push. The whole domino effect of interventions followed, leading to a c-sec.

All I needed was someone to say, 'try side luges', or 'side-step on this chair'. Simple, effective methods for shifting a little head. AROM is no more benign a procedure than an epidural. I've been labled ftp,cpd. Bastards. They took away so much of my soul.

I'm pregnant again. I feel like I'm going to war. My husband will never open up to the sanity of homebirth, so back to the hospital I go. I'm seeing a midwife for all prenatal care, but it's doubtful she'll be there for delivery. I'm going to find a good doula, and also have a close friend there. I'll arm these people with my wishes that they can battle the staff with. There will be no EFM, no I.V., No vaginal exams. Nothing. They are going to leave me alone. The only thing I'm afraid of is that my anger will get in the way.

God. Sorry this is so long. I don't think I've said even a quarter of what I feel. I clutch 'Silent Knife' to me like a shield. I squat and think about birth. I really am a warrior preparing for battle. I just hope I'm not a casualty.

[zombiemommie]

After reading Luckymom's post, that is something else I had in the beginning of my pregnancy, but it has gone away now - the anger. I was VERY angry at my OB group once I learned about the cascade of interventions and why didn't they try this or that first, but again, in my case, it is a "medical" type thing that you really can't argue with too much if you have this and that lab test and 4+ protein in my urine. But it was the feeling of "they could have" as in counseled me on diet, asked me to stop working, ordered me to stop working, advised me on relaxation, etc etc. In the hospital, it was the same cascade of interventions, and I know from the minute they started the induction probably everybody involved in my care thought I would have a c/s anyway.

I am due in 4 weeks for VBAC also. I went through the anger, the mistrust was really bad. I found a great doula, and a great back-up doula, and went through the Bradley classes and that has helped some. Also as my pregnancy has progressed I have grown much more comfortable with my group of midwives and that has helped tremendously, but I am still bringing my own pit bull homebirth doula with me. I think I have "changed" through this pregnancy where I am able to step back and see that I cannot control my labor, I cannot control my body, I cannot control the process. I can do the best I can to make it the most favorable environment, be armed with the strongest support I can, stay home as long as I can, and hope for the best. I don't want my baby born with me fighting the whole time. I know I won't have the strength because I am gonna be busy trying to birth. So I hope to have people fighting for me, and hope that the fight will not be necessary. Hope that my caregivers have heard me, that my body is ready, that my baby knows what to do.

((hugs))

[tarablesue]

were born C birth as well...My first birth was preeclamsia,induction and after 32 hours of HARD labor...ended in C- section where I then got magnesium:sick ANd I didn't get nothing but a glimpse of my baby girl until almost 30 HOURS later.I am still emotionally scarred over losing that bonding with her those first few moments AB.
Then wanted to attemp a VBAC...but I let an ultrasound SCARE me! Yes, it scared me, when at 40 weeks my baby was estimated at 10lbs 10oz and my body showed NO SIGNS of going into labor soon. So after MANY tears I agreed to another c/s.
I will attempt a VBAC next time and I refuse to have an ultrasound! And for the record my dd weighed 11lbs. 6oz at 40 weeks & 4 days...which is her birth weight:jaw
But I got to experience the bonding and I held her while they wheeled me to recovery and she roomed with me until i went home 2 days later:)

[zombiemommie]

That is so funny that you mention about your dd size, because I am now 38 weeks almost, and they want me to go for a u/s to estimate fetal weight this Tuesday because they think baby is big. I KNOW baby will be about 10 lbs and that is okay with me. My thought is I know baby is big, they know baby is big, it is not changing MY mind about the VBAC so why bother with the u/s. I had a kinda argument almost with them, that I don't want them using the u/s or dangling it over my head because I am NOT afraid to try the VBAC with a 10 lb baby, or even 11 lb for that matter, and I trust my body and that they need to trust me too. I don't need skittish caregivers. The induction word was mentioned and I won't consent, certainly not for a "big baby". I was so pissed offf this week about it.

So I know where you were at. What a great big girl you had !

[TreeLove]

"Birth" is the most traumatic thing to ever happen to me. When I found out i was pg in the summer of '97 I began preparing for a homebirth. At 16w we descovered twins and at 18 w we found out they had TTTS. I had PROM at 25 w and delivered at 29 w via emergency classical c-birth. I was told however that I had a low vertical (something I begged for as they wheeled me in to the OR that night.) .

I found out 2 months into my 2nd pg that I had a true classical (OB told me that she remembered clearly 'cause I am one of the few people she has ever had to "cut clear to the top to get that little one out). I was DEVESTATED. I spent the remainder of my pg depressed and searching for ANYONE to let me labor. I finally gave up, defeated, and caved into a planned c-birth. The whole time I was on that table I didn't even care that i was having a baby. The only thing in my mind was "STOP TOUCHING US!!! LEAVE US ALONE!!! WE AREN'T READY YET!!!! GET YOUR D@MN HANDS AWAY FROM ME!!!!"
When Abe was born he had a lot of trouble breathing and they called the NICU team (my 1st babies were there for 72 and 84 days). He began to breathe on his own but I didn't know whether I'd had a boy or a girl for the 1st 45 minutes!
The pain of recovery was SO intense for me (come to find out the percocets don't work w/ my body chemestry so basically I was on no pain meds for 2 days til I begged for a Tylonel). The 1st night a nurse wheeled him into the room and left him at the foot of the bed. I couldn't get up to get him due to the pain and then he suddenly began to aspirate! I yelled for the nurse and they just grabbed him and took him away. 30 minutes later my dh arrived and I had no idea where our dear boy had gone!
I really was in a fog for the 1st 10 months. I actually do not remember ONE thing from 2w after his birth til he was 10 months. I see pictures of me holding him and I don't remember it at all. Not one smidge. It's like looking at a strangers baby.

Now we are pg w/ #4 and altho I am considering looking for a VBAC , I actually kinda want a c-birth. The I can go thru this pg w/out anganst.
My body has failed us in so many ways. My body wasn't able to keep my 1st 2 alive so they were taken from me weighing only 2.9 and 1.13 pounds. They were never able to nurse altho I pumped everyday, 10x a day for 4 months. The second time I KNEW I could do it, but no one else believed in me. Then after his horrible birth Abe was born unable to nurse. I was devestated. I just want to be pg on a positive note for once. I want to enjoy this pg w/ no surprise endings (hopefully). I think I can do that even if it means having a c-birth.....

[kerc]

i was informed about my birth, in good physical shape, and a very low risk patient. i feel pretty good about my c section...i feel a bit cheated out of what i thought would be a cool feeling of feeling my little dd slip out, but...

dd was eight days late...

I labored at home for about 12 hours, went to the hospital and was only 4 cm dialated, with hard contractions every 5 minutes. DH and I had a doula, and took the bradley classes, so we were dealing with it ok. I was having really bad back labor. So we tried different postions, showering, walking, eating...birth ball. All kinds of stuff. We knew that the dilation didn't really mean anything...but after feeling the urge to push for multiple hours too early, and then pushing for three hours and having her barely visible, my contractions began to stop and I was physically drained. I couldn't stand on my own (I hadn't had drugs or an IV, but had been drinking water or juice after every contraction).

So after all that, we decided to go with a c section, which I felt really was a good decision. My doula had never attended a birth that ended in a section, in her 100 births. DD was posterior and had a big head -- making the geometry not good for coming out (as my husband says) the front door. So out the side door she came, with a bleeding wound on her head from being stuck.

[Momtwice]

Safe Womb, (nice name!)

I felt some of the things above (including violated) and I could go into depth but the moms above said things that matter, don't need to add much...

I suggest you read these books:
Ended Beginnings
Rebounding from Childbirth
Silent Knife
Open Season


Some women, by the way, feel perfectly happy with a CS. Some feel angry, some depressed, some are numb.

[traci5489]

I have had my only two children via c-section and truthfully never really gave it much thought. I don't feel violated or like a failure at all. My ds (#1) was an emergency c-section after 24 hours of labor (good contractions aided by pitocin and my water already broken) with no change in dialation. I am a borderline bleeder and had some bleeding problems with my c-section (because of the contractions for 24, uterus did not want to contract after birth) and because of the bleeding issue I didn't get to see ds or dh for about an hour after, but ds roomed in with me the entire hospital stay after that hour and I never felt like we had any problems with bonding. My dd (#2) was hoped to be a VBAC, but was a scheduled c-section due to bleeding condition and to the fact that she was frank breech. It was a very relaxing experience (I already knew what to expect) and there were no bleeding problems this time so dd and dh stayed with me the whole time. I watched dd get weighed, cleaned-up and nursered her all before I left the OR and she roomed in with me the entire hospital stay too. I plan to have another child soon and have been told by my ob/gyn that she will ONLY do a c-section the next time too (and she really supports VBAC) because of the situations with my first 2 (she has been my ob for all my births) and that is fine with me. I think my c-sections have all been very necessary to get both me and my children through the delivery safely and that is all I really care about. I am sorry for all those who feel cheated out of a natural birth, I guess I just can't miss something I never had.

[LiamnEmma]

Let's see, I didn't feel raped, but I do feel intense sorrow and a sense of personal failure. I do believe though, that the feeling of violation is probably related to how much a person feels her section was medically necessary. And I certainly felt that both of mine were, so there you have it.

It's difficult to have been c-sectioned twice though, although my second was not "as bad" because I made some decisions prior to it, and scheduled it the day before because of the medical issues surrounding it. So I was awake, I chose how the doctor was going to medicate me, I chose the time, etc. With my ds, it was urgent, I had HELLP syndrome, and not having had any meds up to that point, I was put under general anesthesia and we had some serious bonding issues later. I think that angered me most. I felt like ds and I did not get off to a good start because when he was finally brought to me, even though DH had never left his side and assured me that he was indeed mine, I questionned whether he truly belonged to me because I have no recollection or record of his birth...it is now very obvious that he is my child, his personality says it all! :mischeif :rolleyes:

I mourn not having EVER been in any kind of labor that I could feel and experience. I mourn never having given birth vaginally, and with dd, I didn't even care if I did it with or without drugs, I simply wanted to have a child vaginally, and was very sad that I didn't. I think it's one of the reasons I tried to convince DH to have just one more child- so that hopefully I could become part of the "club".

There's also the sense of loss that accompnaies the "failure" of your womanly body. Why doesn't my body work normally? I don't know. And with that, or, maybe as a function of that, is the societal disapproval, even while society simultaneously embraces medical intervention. It's such a paradox.

There's more, but my dd is pining for me, so I'll sign off.

[zombiemommie]

Treelove, I just wanted to give you a big ((((((hug))))))).

[Liz]

One week before my due date my OB introduced the possibility of a C-section. She said I had an abnormal pelvis and the baby was looking to be about 10lbs. I was very upset but at the same time I thought it was silly to be upset. The baby is more important than the birth, I think. Anyway I did end up with a c-section. I BFed right after, co-slept with DS (8lbs 4 oz) in hospital for 3 days, such a remarkable recovery I was released early. My body did not let me down.

Now I ask myself will I VBAC next time? I got a second opinion at the hospital because it was not my OB who sectioned me. He agreed with her prognosis. I guess I'll get a 3rd opinion and go from there.

[mamak]

It's so interesting for me to read all of these stories...I labored w/ dd for 25 hours, and then pushed for 4.5 hours. All the time with a wonderful, caring midwife, my husband, mother, and best friend. I touched her head, I watched in a mirror when I pushed, I watched her not move. Finally my midwife said what I didn't want to hear, "your baby doesn't seem to be moving and I'd like to call the OB" I trusted her, and my family and we had a c-section. The OB that did the c-section was kind and understanding. The first thing he said to me after my daughter was born was that unfortunately she got stuck (huge bruises on her little tiny head), but that next time I shouldn't even hesitate to have a vaginal birth. He didn't say try, he said have one.
I was so thrilled with the beauty of my first born that it took about a week for me to realize my birthplan had failed, the entire time I blamed myself, If only I had pushed harder/longer I could have pushed her out.
5 mo later I was very unexpectedly pg w/ ds. He was a VBAC with the same wonderful midwife, he was quick and easy and perfect in every way. Having the same midwife brought everything full circle for dh and myself. I finally realized that things didn't go right w/dd and there was nothing anyone most importantly myself could have done to change that. IF we have more children of course i won't hesitate to VBAC
I am also a nursing student aspiring to be a midwife and I know my experience will be very valuble some day...

[OnTheFence]

I had planned for a natural vaginal birth in the hospital and by no ways ignorant when it came to a csection. I had read every bad thing about them, why to avoid them and how evil they were. I had a transverse breech baby due to a mullerian anomaly. After that csection, that was an emergency after three failed ECVs I felt violated and tortured. I felt robbed for sure. It took a long time to heal. I had a repeat csection with my son. It was planned and it was practically pain free. I had a great experience. I also had come to grips with a lot of things by that time.

Kim

[mom2kay]

I have mixed feelings about my c-sec.

Here's how things went:

I was one day before my due date when I started having contractions through the night (mild and far apart). I felt a trickle after a nap (soaked a panty liner) at around 12:30 p.m. At this point, I was losing my plug so I thought that may have been why my PL was soaked. I got up and went about my very pg business. I spoke with dh and told him about my PL being soaked after my nap. He told me to call my Midwives. Kim was on call and told me to go to the hosp to be checked. I was still having mild contractions that weren't close together. I started getting things together in case I stayed at the hospital although I believed that they would send me home. While I'm putting the wash in the dryer, my contractions started getting more intense. On the way to the hospital they were still mild like Menstrual cramps, but they were 3 minutes apart :eek

I got there and Kim examined me. The fluid was negative for ph but positive on ferning and I was 4 cm btw. So, water breaky means you stay in the hospital :(

BTW, you know how to stall a labor?
Go to the hospital at 4 cm. :angry

Anyway, since my water had broken (only a trickle remember) the 24 hour clock was started (from the time I felt my wet PL), I was put on IV antibiotics and they put the monitors on me to get a strip (which Kayla never cooperated with). So I was monitored the entire labor, but fortunately it was telemetry and water-proof so I could do what I want. Since my labor had stalled, Kim had me walk around for a few hours (my dh arrived shortly after I did at the hospital). We walked and walked and my labor peetered out. So now, she broke my water the rest of the way... and still my labor was very slow. A couple more hours and no progress they started Pit. Now my contractions hurt a lot more, but progress was still very slow. I wasn't at 7 until 21 hours after I had arrived at 4. It took me about 3-4 hours to get from 7 to 10 and an anterior lip. Just so you know, none of these interventions would have been used if my water had not PARTIALLY broken. Once I was on the Pit the only comfortable position was sitting in the glider chair. Standing/walking was extremely paiful as was laying on my back for exams. It had never occurred to me that I was having back labor (although my back hurt a LOT). Well eventually we had an anterior lip and I'm swelling (haven't been able to pee w/o catheter for some time). I pushed for 2.5 hours to no avail. They could see her head but she would never come down. The OB examines me and tells me "you're baby's OP, don't you have terrible back labor?" I was thinking how come no one told me she was OP, I know exercises that can help turn the baby. Anyway, the OB tried to turn her (ouch, ouch, ouch) but to no avail. The rest of the team had already been called and my c-sec was ready to get underway. By now, I was very relieved and just wanted the baby out. I'd been at the hospital almost 24 hours by now.

My surgery was actually very pleasant. The OB was not mine he was covering and I had met him the night before when we were walking. He was a very funny guy, old school, but very warm. Well I was actually having a good time during the surgery. And after all those hours of pain, the epidural was heaven. I got to hold my baby right away with help from dh. Dh stayed with her while they finished me. Unfortunately, one of the drugs they gave me for the sec caused my milk supply to dry up. This was not good and I did not have sufficient milk for my baby until she was 3.5 months old (it was really really hard). My recovery was very fast, I had very little pain and was able to do everything nec for Kayla.

Sorry this turned into a birth story, but I feel its important to know how the decision for c-sec came about. Looking back I believe if there had been much less intervention, I would have delivered Kayla vaginally, this is my regret. But, the experience over all was positive so I don't feel terrible about it. I definitely want to try for a VBAC next time and feel confident that with my new Midwives, I'll have a great chance.