Child spacing?

[simonsmama]

I was just wondering how far apart other people's children are? What do you feel was the best thing about having them that close together/far apart? What was the worst?

[Girl Named Sandoz]

Ours will be ca. 4 years apart.

I eco-breastfed my son, and my periods only returned when he was 24 months and then I had a few non-ovulating cycles, so the closest we could have had them together was 3 years.

Ds is a very intense, smart, demanding kid and it's only now that I really feel ready for another [we aren't actively TTC but we aren't preventing either ;) ].

The positives for me have been numerous... lots of one-on-one time with ds, he is potty learnt, very independent already. We have been travelling lots, all over Europe which has been easy with just one small child (I've also travelled alone with him, not sure how I would have done that with 2 very young kids!). Ds and I have a very special bond and I really love the fact that I've had a few years to focus exclusively on him in his earliest years. :heartbeat

The only negative would be that I will have to start all over with a newborn. It's been so nice leaving that 'up all night - trillion diapers a day - teething mania' phase behind. ;) But, it will be worth it I know :D

[AdinaL]

I am going to move this over to Family Planning. You will get better answers there! :)

[Undercover Hippie]

My kids are nearly 3 years apart (2 years, 10 months). It has worked out really well for us--of course I haven't experienced it any other way so I'm sure there are pros and cons to any spacing. But for us, the best thing was that DS was pretty independent by the time I got PG and had the baby. When I was really tired or sick it was not as hard on me as it would have been if he were younger and needier. He understood what was going on when I was PG or when we talked about the baby or visited the midwife. He still remembers her birth and I *hope* that he was old enough that he will not forget (hasn't yet). He was always very loving to the baby and although there are always some adjustment issues he was never hostile or hurtful to her--just a PITA to us sometimes but all kids have their moments, KWIM? :lol

Now they have their own needs/activities but they are able to play together really well too. They are close enough in age that the same things generally entertain them both. In retrospect, the only drawback I see is that with a little more time he would have been pottytrained and able to help himself even more, which would have been nice at times. If we have a third we will probably aim for a spacing of 3 or 3.5 years for those reasons.

:)

[Drummer's Wife]

I have three, my first two are 2 yrs and 2 weeks apart and my second two are 23 months apart. It works out well for us, though if I every had another I think I opt for more of a 3-4 yr age gap but that's only because I don't think I could handle four so close together.

[Azreial]

ds is 7 and dd is just bout 9mths, they're 6 1/2 years apart. I think its too far apart really. Its nice becase ds helps alot with dd but I feel badthat he doesn't have a sibling closer in ago to him. They're from two differnt relationships so that's why they're so far apart. We'd like #3 to be about 3 years aprt from dd

[KarenEMT]

My older DS is 11 and my younger DS will be 4 in January. It is a perfect spacing! They are as close as they can be for that age gap. DS#1 has Asperger's, and he really required so much of my attention for so many years, but having his little brother has been really, really good for him. In fact, DS#1 is very hopeful that we will TTC #3 soon. The only reason I am doing a closer age spacing this time is because I'd like to preferably have another before I'm 35.

[Amylcd]

Mine are 15 months apart.

[Sahara]

My two are just shy of 3 years apart, and I like the spacing in a lot of ways. DS was old enough to be somewhat independent while I attended to DD's needs when she was an infant, but now that she's older they are starting to play together. We are thinking of TTC #3 now, which would be more like 2 1/2 year spacing, but only because I'm 34 and would like to have this baby sooner rather than later.
I have friends who have babies much more closely spaced, and although it looks like more leg work up front, they are really happy with their situation, too.
Steph

[Irishmommy]

Mine are almost 6 years apart, and it has worked out well so far.

[pycelan]

My two are 15 months apart. :flipped :nut :flipped :nut in the beginning, but now they get along very well. :thumb

[applejuice]

1>2.......28 months
2>3.......22 months
3>4.......84 months

mean 44 months
medium 28 months
mode n
range 56 months

[JBaxter]

DS1 & 2 are 35.5 months
Ds 2 & 3 are 8yrs!
We are hoping for the 3yr range w/ #3 &4

[~*~MamaJava~*~]

Our ds's are 14.5 months apart...wasn't exactly what we were after, LOL...but pretty close. I like the idea of 18-24 months spacing between babies. We'd love to do that again but we need to get pg pronto for it to work out!

[witchbaby]

mine are going to be just about 2 years on the dot (k's birthday is dec. 20, i'm due between dec. 15 and 25th!).

[Sarah'sMama]

My two girls are 25.5 mos apart. I'm loving the age spacing now, but the first year was tough. When dd2 was born, dd1 had just turned two, and IMO, a two year old is still a baby. She was still in diapers, and was not all that independent. I think an ideal spacing for *me* would have been closer to 2.5 years apart. Now that they're older (3.5 and 1.5) I really love the spacing. they play together fairly well, and are into some of the same things.

[Unoppressed MAMA Q]

less than a year...
please cultivate pleasant thoughts for my sanity...

[earthmama369]

Ours will be 18-19 months apart -- we were "aiming" for 22, but 18 was the beginning of what I was ok with.

I expect it to be a crazy first year or so, but really good for them as sibs. DD1 is very social, affectionate, and easy-going; I think (hope!) this will be best for her and DC2.

[Heirloom]

1st two are 2 years apart
+ they play well together now,
- it was challenging to run aroung=d aa two year old with a newborn

2nd and 3rd are 4 years apart
+ the older kids really got into my pregnancy, were sweet and understood a lot more of what was going on, they can get dressed by themselves, the older one Owen 6 yrs old helps out a lot with the baby
- have to start over with diapers and nursing at night - although our sweet Alexa is very mellow and nights are not that challeging.

I am having more time to enjoy our third than I remember having the time with our second (b/c of having to care for another small child) Alos dad is a lot more involved with the older two leaving me lots of time to care for the baby. I have to say that having them further apart I have been able to enjoy the newborn days a lot more. I hope this helps!!

[CinnamonDeMarco]

Mine are 19 months apart.

I love having two babies. They have a lot of the same needs and this makes things simple for me. They share diapers and bodysuits (onsies) and toys. They like trips to the park. If I homeschool them they can do some of the same activites together. Even now they listen to the same books.

I think the key is accepting the fact that I have two babies. One doesn't come before the other.

I know a few people who wanted the toddler to suddenly be mature and helful once the new baby was born. They wouldn't pay attention to the toddler while nursing or bathing the baby. They told me of how their toddlers cry while the babies nurse and the mom tell the toddler, "wait." One lady actually told me, "The day Christian was born, Megan had to grow up." Their toddlers were miserable. The Moms weren't too happy either.

If you have two babies you need to know how to pay attention to them both, even at the same time. Hold them at the same time if they want. :slingtwin

[Sharlla]

My kids are 6.5 years apart. I was 6 years older than my brother and thought that it worked out fine. As a parent I couldn't handle caring for children close in age.

[MelKnee]

There will be almost exactly 5 yrs between ds and this next babe. We wanted 4 yrs apart but had a little trouble conceiving last year and then I had a miscarriage. For me this is great spacing. I wanted ds to self-wean and I knew I couldn't nurse through pregnancy, so we had to wait for him to do that. Also, I like that he is potty trained, I don't have to have two in diapers.

[Sandrine]

My girls are 15mths apart. At first it was hard but now they are best friends. I treat them the same as the youngest wants to do like her sis and my oldest think her sis should do like her. lol

[streetkitty]

mine are 2 years 2 weeks apart. ds is only 12 weeks old- it's been tough so far but I think it will pay in a year or so!