Okay, so who's finding out the gender??

[LuckyMommaToo]

Now that we're (mostly) through the first trimester, this decision is looming.

We found out with DS. I wasn't feeling very bonded, and it helped a lot. We kept his name a secret so that we still had something to reveal.

If I can stay strong, we're not finding out this time around. I truly don't care either way (initially I thought boy, now I'm leaning toward girl b/c I'm feeling so different from last time), and maybe it'll give me some inspiration when it comes to pushing (the worst part of labor for me last time).

So what are you doing??

-Erin

p.s. My doctor does a routine 20 week u/s with a perinatologist, so we would definitely have the opportunity.

[ellymay]

I am definatly finding out!!! I am WAY to impatient to wait.

[ltk]

I am trying NOt to find out, but it is so hard when everyone wants you to! And when you have dreams about one or the other! I have 2 reasons for not wanting to know:
1) I don't want a bunch of gender specific gifts.
2) I realllly like the idea of a surprise.
Thoughts?

[momatheart]

We have a few reasons not to find out

1.) we like surprises, but....

2.) I am also an obsessive planner, so not knowing keeps me a little humbled and from trying to plan everything...I think it puts me in a better frame of mind to deal with birth

3.) we have friends and family who are "due" around the same time as us and so keeping gender and names under wraps helps with any angst about "who's took who's name"...not that that kind of thing is really prevalent, but it's happened to other friends, so we're more cautious

4.) I used to work in maternal child health, and every so often we'd get a little girl who had all "boy" clothes because she'd shown up as a boy on the u/s :wink

[tomtemama]

With dd we didn't find out and we didn't plan to this time either BUT.....

Dd is convinced that I am having a girl and if I am not I would really like 20 weeks to talk her into that it's a boy and not have to do it after the baby is born.

As a side note I am also sure it is a girl and my intuition is ALWAYS wrong :irked: we'll see. I sure hope that I am not one of the mamas who finds out the wrong sex, that would be too funny.

[Momto1and1ontheway]

We found out with dd and will find out with this baby too. I'm just to much of an "I need to know" person and would prefer to refer to "Bean" as he/she.

I have a nuchal translucency test tomorrow (my girlfriend had one w/ the same doc around the same gestational age and was asked at her appt. if she wanted to know). Since finding this out on Friday, I have been obsessing about whether or not I can find out at this appt. If not, I'm scheduled for my 2nd trimester u/s on 12/19, but that now seems SOOOO long away. I alsoo have NO baby intuition whatsoever...... UGH!

I'll post tomorrow and let you all know if we know..... LOL

[ChattyCat]

We plan on finding out if the baby cooperates. That said, I'm not sure if we're going to tell people IRL. I'll tell y'all though. ;)

I should find out around 12/9 or so. I don't have it scheduled yet, but OB wants it done around 18 weeks.

[Mom2Adam]

We are not finding out the gender. We really liked the surprise at the birth of DS!

That said, I also really like it when my friends find out! :lol

On a side note: When I went to my 20 week appt with DS - my co-workers at the time got into a huge argument while I was gone. They knew I wasn't going to find out the gender and many of them thought I SHOULD. Some people were saying "That is what that technology is there for! I don't understand why she isn't finding out" and others were saying "Well, that is a personal decision - it is up to her".
I heard about this a few weeks after the fact - and was amused that this caused such a stir. (Sounds like they needed some more work or something!).

Anyway - For me, this is a family decision and I respect the right of a momma to find out or not!

Another side note: A previous male co worker of mine found out what they were having but his wife didn't want to know. Wouldn't that be interesting....


Traci

[lilmissimpatient@c]

I'm finding out! I'm, well, kind of impatient :lol

DH doesn't want to know, so we won't tell him :D

[radicalmama]

I didn't find out with the last one, but this one I wanted to know.
Both me and DP have been having girl dreams, but when we went in today at 13 1/2 weeks for ultrasound the tech thought there was a penis. She said she wasn't completely positive that it wasn't the cord, but was pretty sure.

I know it sounds terrible, but me and DP were both dissappointed and my daughter is going to lose it...she hates being in the middle of two boys and was really rooting for a girl.

Even my family was hoping for a girl...

I wish we knew 100% for sure, so we could totally work on adjusting to and loving the fact that we're having a son.

[quirkylayne]

.

[merrick]

We're going to find out. I can't wait actually. We toyed with the idea of having it be a surprise, but I just couldn't do it! Plus, if it's a girl I'd like to know in advance so I can get some girl clothes. All I have is boy stuff from ds. My sister has a girl, but the season is off so that probably won't help much.

[Outofmymindyo]

I will definately be finding out. I've seen a few gender neutral things...but definately not enough to make up for the amount of clothing I want to have ready. I don't really plan on getting a lot of REALLY boyish or girlish stuff, but I want to be able to go out and buy stuff knowing what I'm having.

My mom doesn't want to know and neither does my dad. I think it's gonna be hard for either of them to not know when I want to go shopping and drag one of them along with me.

[JuicyPakwan]

I was surprised by my first 3 and loved it but this time I have a few more reasons to find out.

1. My oldest is the only boy and if it is another girl I want time to prepare him he is very excited about this pregnancy and wants a brother soooo bad. He will be okay with a girl I just want some time to prepare him.

2. All my baby clothes are shot and I do like gender specific clothes I don't know why but it drives me batty when they refer to my girls as boys and visa versa. I like it OBVIOUS!

3. I want to refer to this child by name I just have a need this time! Silly I know. (I also have the guilty pleasure of liking it when others find out even when I don't)

[cicerosum]

I'm not going to this time, but never say never--who knows.

[Guinevere]

Oh, we're definitely going to try and find out, and we have known with my other four kiddos, as well... :innocent

Since we already have two of each gender, it's not that I need to know for clothing or to prepare the children for one of the other. No, it's mostly for the following two reasons:

1. Knowing the sex really helps me bond with my baby. We name him/her as soon as we find out, and call them their name thoroughout the rest of the pg. By the time I give birth and see my baby, I feel very much like, "Oh, THERE you are! I know you!" rather than, "Who is this wonderful little person I'm just meeting?" I'm sure that sounds strange to some of you, but there it is! :p

2. I have a MEAN nesting streak that usually hits around wk. 17, and I intend to take FULL advantage of it, since the rest of the time, I'm often too tired to undertake any major home improvement task. :blush Therefore, since our girls' room is a bit larger than our boys' room, the sex of this baby will determine which gender gets which bedroom. Once I know this, I can finally paint and finish decorating the kids' bedrooms (we've lived in this house two years, but I was holding off b/c I just knew, deep down, that we weren't done.) If I don't find out, this golden re-decorating opportunity will pass me by and may NEVER get finished, lol!

Guin

[Throkmorton]

I am finding out if baby co-operates. I'm doing it for a completely silly reason too: When DS was born, we lived in a 500 SqFt 1 bedroom apartment, and just had the bare necessities.
We close on our 2500 Sqft 4 bedroom on the 25th and I want to paint! To decorate! I want to have to borrow a truck to go to Ikea before the baby's born and buy everything we need while we are down there! (Ikea, and every other fun store is 5+ hours away.)

I know, it's dumb. I have the same urge to go buy DS tons of stuff for his room to get his things organized and replace the old beat up dresser and utility buckers for toy boxes.

Oh, and I want to know who i have to ask for hand-me-downs. :)

[NYCVeg]

Dh and I will probably, but not definitely find out. I actually want a lot of gender-neutral clothes (I always like the mint green, yellow, and white stuff best--those are just colors I love), but we may find out for the following reasons:
1) My sister had a girl last time and is having a boy this time. She's moving out of the country about a month after our baby is born, so, if it is a girl, she'll need to know early in order to give us all her hand-me-downs; they're putting their stuff in storage around the time we're having our little one. Her baby was the first grandchild in the family so they have a TON of stuff, much of it barely (or never) worn.
2) As I've said on another thread, dh and I are going to have to do some serious soul searching about being Jewish and circumcision. If it is a boy, I would rather have a few months for us to sort this out and deal with our families (my mom is already talking about the bris, if it's a boy. ack.).
3) Dh wants to know and I do think it will help him bond with the bun, since he doesn't feel what I feel. And I can't NOT know something that he knows!
4) Finally...since we refuse to tell our families the names we're considering before the babe is born, we figure we might want to throw them a bone and at least tell them the gender.

[Ksenia]

I would like to know (because we are offered lots of hand-me-down clothing), but I won't until s/he is born, just like last time (no ultrasounds or amnios for us).

[Momto1and1ontheway]

Well, we found out today during our nuchal translucency test that the doctor is confident that this is a BOY! WWHHAAATT??!!! I know NOTHING about boys! Guess it's trial by fire!!!

p.s. - we even got closeups of the boy parts!

Can't wait to watch those that are going to find out.. It's so much fun (if that's what you choose to do).

[tiffanyrk1786]

We are not finding out this time.. We have a 2 year old son and a 6 month old daughter.. so we have all the baby clothes for both sexes. We figured we already have 1 of each, why find out.. I think it makes it more suspenseful and fun this way.

[dshields]

[QUOTE=NYCVeg]
3) Dh wants to know and I do think it will help him bond with the bun, since he doesn't feel what I feel. And I can't NOT know something that he knows!
QUOTE]

We're going to find out for this reason as well. At first I was totally against it but he has a great reason. After I saw the tiny babe on the u/s I got pretty excited myself! And we have a bet going...I say girl, and by default dh says boy. The loser has to plan our first romantic evening after the babe arrives...maybe just out to dinner while grands babysit.

[NurseLaurie]

We're finding out... mostly for DH. He says he needs that info to thoroughly connect. I'm a planner, so I gave in pretty easily. My theory is that I will be surprised either way. Sure, the surprise is more fun at birth, but it's still fun at the u/s.

[Mamabeakley]

Didn't find out w/DS and won't with this babe, either, unless there is some medical reason to have an U/S. Homebirth both times, and the midwives won't/don't send me for an U/S unless there's a reason to, and I won't have an amnio. However, I think if I did have an U/S, I would want to be told if it was obvious. I think for me it would feel kinda artificial to deny the knowledge if it was available (not that those of you who choose not to be told are artificial - what feels right to you is fine with me!)

[luckylady]

We will be - at the end of this month as a matter of fact!

[KatSG]

I may have to work on DH, but I don't want to find out this time. I've got a whole thread about this, but we found out there is a tiny chance that I could have placenta previa (complete now, but only 12 weeks, so things likely will change), and if we do end up in a c-section I want there to be some kind of happy climax in the OR. Finding out the gender would do that for me.

I saw A Baby Story on TLC yesterday and this IVF couple had a jillion u/s and were always told that they were having boys, then ended up with 2 girls! They were cute--they actually re-wallpapered the nursery.

[dshields]

Saw that Baby Story too...it was so cool! I couldn't believe they were wrong about both!

[strawberryprincess]

we're going to find out...with dd, we were both so certain that she was a girl, that i felt we needed to know in advance, so that we could prepare/adjust if it were a boy...neither of us are big on surprises.

besides, my really silly reason is that we are going to need new clothes wether its a boy or girl...seasonally most girl clothes won't work for a spring baby. anyway, i would really love to hit those end-of-season clearance sales coming up! and garage sales. we don't have anyone to give us hand-me-downs.

[nitareality]

I would like to find out. I was happy we did with our son. Actually, I could've just dittoed what Guinevere said. :thumb

[De-lovely]

I SO cant wait for things like this-we found out with both our other dd's. I was one of those kids that snuck and found Christmas presents under my parents bed and then unwrapped and rewrapped them. :lol No surprises for me!!! I am especially praying for a boy since this will I believe be our last baby but of course will be ecstatic for another precious girl!

[Snowdrift]

I'm not finding out but I really, really want to. Just so many other, better reasons not to do ultrasound (even though I indulged in 10 seconds of us with a doppler). I always wanted a girl first, but am so sure this is a boy that I've started hoping i'm right, if that makes any sense...

[jennlindsey]

Weeeell ... we don't *really* want to know ahead of time, we'd like the fun of being surprised, but if it shows up on an u/s super-obviously, we won't close our eyes. :)

I really really *really* want a girl, and I'm afraid if I find out and it's a boy, the disappointment will feel very weird. (Plus, I'm a hemophilia carrier, and I would rather just trust the potential outcome than stress all along if it *is* a boy -- why have ammunition to worry when you'll take whatever ya get?) I'd most like to just meet the baby as his/herself at birth, if that makes sense.

But ... it is very frustrating how every freakin' clothing/bedding/ANY-thing baby item is seriously gender segregated into the blue vs. pink dept. Makes it hard for those of us who aren't finding out -- better get used to green and yellow.