Kavita
11-10-2005, 09:26 PM
I can't believe that I'm just now getting on to post this, but I had a baby girl! Ella Florence was born Tuesday November 8 at 2:12 a.m. She's adorable and we're doing really well. (Although the kid is half pit-bull--my nipples are REALLY sore!!) :love She's smaller than I expected, 6 lbs 10 oz, but long/has long legs like I thought--she's 20 inches. So she's petite, but not scrawny looking! She is so pretty--she looks a lot like DH. I think she looks more Indian, which I was hoping she was.
The basic birth story: as I posted on the Weekly Chat, I woke up Sunday morning with contractions, and they kept up although not at regular intervals throughout the day. We worked maniacally cleaning the house and getting things ready that whole day. Then I ended up hardly sleeping at all, because I was still having contractions overnight, which were getting stronger and harder to deal with but I still wasn't dilating. By Monday morning I was pretty beat, but I called my sister and she made me feel a lot better. Finally at about 2 pm Monday I called my friend (the one who's also my midwifery assistant when I do births, and was going to come to my birth as a friend/doula/assistant to my primary midwife who lives 2 hours away) and asked her to just come over for a while.
Things got more intense but I still wasn't dilating and it wasn't even active labor, and it was pretty discouraging. We kept in touch with the primary midwife, and finally after more of this and being unable to rest, I asked them to call her at about 9:30 and tell her to come. I could tell that she was a little reluctant to come, thinking that this was prodromal labor and it would be a long time, and that kind of upset me a little bit and it pissed me off in an "I AM in labor, dammit!" kind of way and I started letting go of the idea that this was early or prodromal labor to ignore, and really started getting into the contractions. I made DH go take a walk with me outside, and the contractions kept getting more intense. When we got home I got into the birth tub for a while, and after a few contractions checked myself and I was about 5 cm dilated with a bulging bag of waters and the head was lower. This was encouraging. I didn't really like the birth tub, it was too big and I felt like I couldn't get in a good position or anchor myself well. I got out and sat on the birth ball for a while, walked around and rocked on my toes or lunged from side to side or generally moved my hips around a lot. After some time of this I ended up getting into the regular bathtub. Things got more intense, and after a while I could feel a lot of stretching and pressure on my cervix, and not feeling like pushing entirely but starting to feel a little pressure-y in that direction. I checked myself and I was about 8 cm and the baby's head was really low and really pushing down. I basically just breathed with it and didn't try to push or didn't try not to push, and after a while I started involuntarily pushing. It got really intense, and I could feel the baby's head really moving down. At some point during this part, I suddenly knew for sure that the baby was a girl, and told DH and the midwife. Anyway, I asked DH and my friend what time it was and it had been two hours since they called the other mw, I asked them to call her back and find out where she was, she should have been there soon. My friend called her and told her that I was about completely dilated and pushing and moving really fast and where was she right then, and she was only 45 min into the 2 hour drive!! (She had taken the time to pack a bag, thinking she'd be down here for 2 or 3 days with a really long slow labor!) Anyway, the baby was going to come whether she got there in time or not, but I felt like the baby was moving down too fast and it was getting overwhelming, and then my water broke, and I ended up flipping over onto hands and knees to slow things down. I couldn't get my legs wide apart enough in the tub though, so I got out and went to my bedroom and got on my bed in hands and knees. At some point there the midwife arrived and someone let her in. My arms and legs felt like they were going to give way and I leaned forward onto my side and then rolled a bit more onto my back, so I was in kind of a semi sitting, semi side-lying position. It was really interesting, because I could feel everything so clearly, and knew exactly how fast I wanted it to go--I had a few panicky moments but was able to keep myself calm and let the baby come out more slowly. I alternated letting myself push, and panting or breathing to slow things down. I reached down and could feel the head, and I basically kept my hand there and flexed the head as I was pushing and asked the midwife to put a compress on my perineum so I didn't tear. DH was sitting on the outside of my left leg facing in toward me, and when most of the head was out I told him to touch the head. He was like, "What?" and I told him again, "touch the head!" So he did, and we both had our hands on the baby and I pushed and I think the midwife had her hands down there for the shoulders, but then DH and I caught the baby together and brought her up onto me. She was pretty pink and had good muscle tone and breathed and cried right away. I didn't have my glasses and she had a kind of short cord, so it was hard to see her right away but together DH and I managed to manuver her so that we could verify that it was indeed a girl.
I was so pooped out that I didn't have any contractions that I could feel after, and it took about 2 1/2 hours till we got the placenta out, but it eventually came out fine. I had a small tear that didn't need sutures and a couple of "skid marks" but other than that my bottom is intact, so that's a relief.
So essentially, I had both a long labor AND a short labor rolled into one--a day and a half of prodromal/early labor, and then only 4 hours of active labor to go from about 2 cm to the baby being out! So I have experienced a lot!! It is interesting, because I don't think I could have been as uninhibited in a hospital or birth center setting, and it was much more private or intimate to be at home. On the other hand, during the "dark night of the soul" of having early labor contractions and being exhausted and unable to sleep on Sunday night, I totally understood why women want to be in a hospital and have pain medication during labor. I was like, "Yeah, if an epidural or some narcotics were an option I would go for it right about now!" But I also am so happy that I had a home birth, and do not think I would have had the same outcome in the hospital. I was making a LOT of noise--not screaming or anything, just a lot of vocalization, sort of like between moaning and chanting and yelling. And I could feel myself opening by doing that, and the louder I was the better it felt!! And my midwife brain would pop in sometimes and correct my laboring mother brain, like I'd start to make higher noises and I would sort of remember to keep it lower, and bring myself back! Having so much experience with birth but never having given birth myself, I found that my knowledge was probably a hindrance in some places (like the early labor part where I was trying to behave rationally from a midwife perspective of knowing that not much dilation was occurring, but my laboring-woman self wanted to ask for some support and reassurance) and a help in other places. Once I started really saying what I needed and letting go of that fear of looking like a wimp who couldn't handle early labor, once things got active I felt both intellectually and intuitively like I knew exactly what was going on most of the time, and exactly what to do. It was actually kind of funny, because I went from being very hesitant to voice my needs or ask for support to basically telling everyone what I wanted them to do or not do! DH said later, "It was like you were directing your own birth." At some point the mw asked if she could check the baby's heart tones, and I told her, go ahead, but the baby is fine. And I KNEW that intuitively. It was awesome!
One thing that I'll pass on that helped me that I've never heard anywhere--when DH and I went for the walk he got me a shawl because it was a little cold outside. So I had this thing wrapped around my shoulders and back--during contractions I found myself just grabbing onto the ends of it and pulling on it while leaning back somewhat. Somehow just grabbing and pulling on this thing plus the pressure that it put on my back was very soothing. I ended up trying to replicate this with a towel once I got out of the tub later, but it was a little too short.
Anyway, my baby is just beautiful and DH is just thrilled beyond belief. (I just overheard him bragging on the phone to a guy friend of his about the home birth and that it was totally natural with no medication, then there was a pause when his friend was saying something, and then I heard DH telling his friend, "Imagine something the size of a small cantaloupe coming out of your penis. If you could pop that out, then I'll elevate you to the level of my wife." :love :D ) DH was really great once the labor got going, he really was calm and supportive and wonderful. (He knew exactly what to do, basically because by that point I was issuing orders like a drill seargent!) :lol He is so proud of his daughter that it's unbelievable, and he is really good with her. Mr. "I'm afraid that I'll roll over on the baby" is now taking her for naps to let me sleep a little!
Anyway, it was a really wonderful and empowering experience, and I'm really loving my little sweetie and our little family! :love :love
(P.S. My dogs are really hilarious, one of them watched the whole birth very calmly, and the other one thinks this is HIS baby--he's being very protective, and if she so much as squeaks he comes over to check on her. Today she was in the bassinette for a few minutes and woke up, and he went over to investigate and then came to look at me like, "Hey, go get her NOW!!!")
The basic birth story: as I posted on the Weekly Chat, I woke up Sunday morning with contractions, and they kept up although not at regular intervals throughout the day. We worked maniacally cleaning the house and getting things ready that whole day. Then I ended up hardly sleeping at all, because I was still having contractions overnight, which were getting stronger and harder to deal with but I still wasn't dilating. By Monday morning I was pretty beat, but I called my sister and she made me feel a lot better. Finally at about 2 pm Monday I called my friend (the one who's also my midwifery assistant when I do births, and was going to come to my birth as a friend/doula/assistant to my primary midwife who lives 2 hours away) and asked her to just come over for a while.
Things got more intense but I still wasn't dilating and it wasn't even active labor, and it was pretty discouraging. We kept in touch with the primary midwife, and finally after more of this and being unable to rest, I asked them to call her at about 9:30 and tell her to come. I could tell that she was a little reluctant to come, thinking that this was prodromal labor and it would be a long time, and that kind of upset me a little bit and it pissed me off in an "I AM in labor, dammit!" kind of way and I started letting go of the idea that this was early or prodromal labor to ignore, and really started getting into the contractions. I made DH go take a walk with me outside, and the contractions kept getting more intense. When we got home I got into the birth tub for a while, and after a few contractions checked myself and I was about 5 cm dilated with a bulging bag of waters and the head was lower. This was encouraging. I didn't really like the birth tub, it was too big and I felt like I couldn't get in a good position or anchor myself well. I got out and sat on the birth ball for a while, walked around and rocked on my toes or lunged from side to side or generally moved my hips around a lot. After some time of this I ended up getting into the regular bathtub. Things got more intense, and after a while I could feel a lot of stretching and pressure on my cervix, and not feeling like pushing entirely but starting to feel a little pressure-y in that direction. I checked myself and I was about 8 cm and the baby's head was really low and really pushing down. I basically just breathed with it and didn't try to push or didn't try not to push, and after a while I started involuntarily pushing. It got really intense, and I could feel the baby's head really moving down. At some point during this part, I suddenly knew for sure that the baby was a girl, and told DH and the midwife. Anyway, I asked DH and my friend what time it was and it had been two hours since they called the other mw, I asked them to call her back and find out where she was, she should have been there soon. My friend called her and told her that I was about completely dilated and pushing and moving really fast and where was she right then, and she was only 45 min into the 2 hour drive!! (She had taken the time to pack a bag, thinking she'd be down here for 2 or 3 days with a really long slow labor!) Anyway, the baby was going to come whether she got there in time or not, but I felt like the baby was moving down too fast and it was getting overwhelming, and then my water broke, and I ended up flipping over onto hands and knees to slow things down. I couldn't get my legs wide apart enough in the tub though, so I got out and went to my bedroom and got on my bed in hands and knees. At some point there the midwife arrived and someone let her in. My arms and legs felt like they were going to give way and I leaned forward onto my side and then rolled a bit more onto my back, so I was in kind of a semi sitting, semi side-lying position. It was really interesting, because I could feel everything so clearly, and knew exactly how fast I wanted it to go--I had a few panicky moments but was able to keep myself calm and let the baby come out more slowly. I alternated letting myself push, and panting or breathing to slow things down. I reached down and could feel the head, and I basically kept my hand there and flexed the head as I was pushing and asked the midwife to put a compress on my perineum so I didn't tear. DH was sitting on the outside of my left leg facing in toward me, and when most of the head was out I told him to touch the head. He was like, "What?" and I told him again, "touch the head!" So he did, and we both had our hands on the baby and I pushed and I think the midwife had her hands down there for the shoulders, but then DH and I caught the baby together and brought her up onto me. She was pretty pink and had good muscle tone and breathed and cried right away. I didn't have my glasses and she had a kind of short cord, so it was hard to see her right away but together DH and I managed to manuver her so that we could verify that it was indeed a girl.
I was so pooped out that I didn't have any contractions that I could feel after, and it took about 2 1/2 hours till we got the placenta out, but it eventually came out fine. I had a small tear that didn't need sutures and a couple of "skid marks" but other than that my bottom is intact, so that's a relief.
So essentially, I had both a long labor AND a short labor rolled into one--a day and a half of prodromal/early labor, and then only 4 hours of active labor to go from about 2 cm to the baby being out! So I have experienced a lot!! It is interesting, because I don't think I could have been as uninhibited in a hospital or birth center setting, and it was much more private or intimate to be at home. On the other hand, during the "dark night of the soul" of having early labor contractions and being exhausted and unable to sleep on Sunday night, I totally understood why women want to be in a hospital and have pain medication during labor. I was like, "Yeah, if an epidural or some narcotics were an option I would go for it right about now!" But I also am so happy that I had a home birth, and do not think I would have had the same outcome in the hospital. I was making a LOT of noise--not screaming or anything, just a lot of vocalization, sort of like between moaning and chanting and yelling. And I could feel myself opening by doing that, and the louder I was the better it felt!! And my midwife brain would pop in sometimes and correct my laboring mother brain, like I'd start to make higher noises and I would sort of remember to keep it lower, and bring myself back! Having so much experience with birth but never having given birth myself, I found that my knowledge was probably a hindrance in some places (like the early labor part where I was trying to behave rationally from a midwife perspective of knowing that not much dilation was occurring, but my laboring-woman self wanted to ask for some support and reassurance) and a help in other places. Once I started really saying what I needed and letting go of that fear of looking like a wimp who couldn't handle early labor, once things got active I felt both intellectually and intuitively like I knew exactly what was going on most of the time, and exactly what to do. It was actually kind of funny, because I went from being very hesitant to voice my needs or ask for support to basically telling everyone what I wanted them to do or not do! DH said later, "It was like you were directing your own birth." At some point the mw asked if she could check the baby's heart tones, and I told her, go ahead, but the baby is fine. And I KNEW that intuitively. It was awesome!
One thing that I'll pass on that helped me that I've never heard anywhere--when DH and I went for the walk he got me a shawl because it was a little cold outside. So I had this thing wrapped around my shoulders and back--during contractions I found myself just grabbing onto the ends of it and pulling on it while leaning back somewhat. Somehow just grabbing and pulling on this thing plus the pressure that it put on my back was very soothing. I ended up trying to replicate this with a towel once I got out of the tub later, but it was a little too short.
Anyway, my baby is just beautiful and DH is just thrilled beyond belief. (I just overheard him bragging on the phone to a guy friend of his about the home birth and that it was totally natural with no medication, then there was a pause when his friend was saying something, and then I heard DH telling his friend, "Imagine something the size of a small cantaloupe coming out of your penis. If you could pop that out, then I'll elevate you to the level of my wife." :love :D ) DH was really great once the labor got going, he really was calm and supportive and wonderful. (He knew exactly what to do, basically because by that point I was issuing orders like a drill seargent!) :lol He is so proud of his daughter that it's unbelievable, and he is really good with her. Mr. "I'm afraid that I'll roll over on the baby" is now taking her for naps to let me sleep a little!
Anyway, it was a really wonderful and empowering experience, and I'm really loving my little sweetie and our little family! :love :love
(P.S. My dogs are really hilarious, one of them watched the whole birth very calmly, and the other one thinks this is HIS baby--he's being very protective, and if she so much as squeaks he comes over to check on her. Today she was in the bassinette for a few minutes and woke up, and he went over to investigate and then came to look at me like, "Hey, go get her NOW!!!")