I'm a total slacker....

[judybean]

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was SO gung-ho about everything... reading 'Birthing From Within', checking out nearly every board on here like crazy (no-circ, vax info, etc), and reading every breastfeeding book I could get my hands on (long story short, I didn't bf dds for more than a few days... partly work-related and other factors that aren't issues now)... and now? Gee whiz... it's been weeks since I've picked up anything like that.

I guess at least I'm doing *something* for this babe by making diapers like mad, but really... I NEED to look over the BFW book because I really NEED to go over the pain-coping techniques. I was induced with both girls and with the inductions had an epi. I don't want that this time.

And no circ? Yikes.. I *think* dh and I discussed it, but now I'm wondering whether we really did or not!! I have The Most Vivid dreams and maybe that was one of them? The reason I wonder is because it seemed like it wasn't much of an issue and I think maybe there would be more discussion/resistance/something? Now I'm a bit worried to bring it up. I actually already told the doc I don't want it done if we have a boy, but... dh really *should* be involved in the process. This babe is just as much his as he/she is mine!!

And yes, I'm totally worried about breastfeeding. Never really done it before. Terrible support paired with the prospect of returning to work four weeks after the births (as a note, at least the girls went to MILs house so it wasn't some creepy place or anything I guess) resulted in failed attempts. This time I have to for two reasons: duh, it's just better!! and.. I couldn't afford the alternative anyway! plus, I really want to! And now that I'm a SAHM I won't have the pressure of returning to work hanging over me!!

And... I haven't gotten out ANY of the baby clothes mostly because I have nowhere to put them! We're trying to arrange the girls' room upstairs even to accommodate two twin beds, then with the changing table and trying to make room for another person's things... yikes!! (we have only two bedrooms upstairs). Good thing babies don't need much beyond mama's arms, milk and homemade diapers ;)

Earlier I was talking with my mom and realized our traditional holiday plans will also be altered! Even if this babe arrives before Christmas (my EDD is Dec. 19), I don't think we're going to want to be travelling -- even just 90 miles to my grandparents' house... so that's kind of crazy. At least we could still see my parents and MIL (they all live in town) and tons of other members in dh's family ... but, it was just something I hadn't even thought about!

Phew... I guess nine months seems like such a long time and then all of the sudden it seems like it's breathing down your back and you're caught totally off guard!!

(and thus concludes my nightly acid-reflux-induced nightly diatribe when everybody else is -- hopefully -- sleeping!) :blah :love

[Spark]

I'm up, too. I think I have such little sleep tonight though I've lost the ability to type coherently.

:hug Judy :hug

[littlemomma]

Judybean,

I totally understand. It does sorta seem like the pregnancy went by fast now that we are at the end, doesn't it? So much to do...or not do.

As far as nursing goes, I just wanted to tell you not to worry. I think all it takes (assuming there aren't any physical issues or what not- I read Peggy's quiet place this month and realized how important it is to be sensitive to non-nursers and not assume anything) is the plan to do it. Don't have a back up plan. Take all artificial nipples and left over formula from the girls out of the house. Make sure you have a relationship with your local LLL leaders so you can call one if you are having any insecurities or difficulties. The nursing relationship in the months/years to come is soooo worth any difficulties in the beginning. I was 20 when I had DS and had not really educated myself on *how* to nurse, I just knew that it was what I was doing. I didn't even mentally consider an alternative. And it worked. And my most sweetest memories are of nursing my son. So empowering. Ahhh....I can't wait to nurse again!

[StarCat]

I haven't been nearly as good about my hypnosis as I would like. I do have all of the clothes and the room and all of that stuff pretty well set, though. Just remember there are some things that try as hard as you can- there is just NO preparation for! My goal now is to keep my house in order for the next few weeks- it get pretty messy the past week- as I had been sick and fell and stuff. But I finally spent most of the day yesterday cleaning so its better now. baby can come! :)

[spiralmg]

Littlemomma is SO on the mark with these two points, which I think are so important I'm going to give them numbers:

1) Get rid of ALL artifical nipples, formula etc. and throw away/give away immediately any that enter your house. Then you will HAVE to nurse.

2) MAKE SURE you have a good expert nurser to help you in person or over the phone. My birth doula was my wonder nursing person last time. She showed me how to nurse lying down, which I never would have figured out. And she gave me confidence. The lactation consultants in the hospital were okay, but they were hospital personnel - for me it really helped to have someone that I intrinsically trusted and felt on the same page with.

YOU CAN DO IT!

I'm having the same problem with prepping for this labor/birth though too. Birthing from Within...oh such a good idea to read it but WAY too demanding for me right now (draw birth pictures? in all my spare time? hee hee. right.).

So, instead, whenever I think of it I'm just really practicing focusing on my breath - and trying to remember that LOW SOUNDS + DEEP BREATHING are all we really need to know....our bodies DO know what they are doing.

[IncaMama]

i can't even think about all of the things i haven't done. i just recently started listening to the hypnobirthing cd that Misty sent me...i've been in such denial that i'm actually gonna have a baby soon! i haven't even purchased BFW yet!!!

OMG!!!! :(

overwhelmed.

[DesireeH]

Aww, sorry you are feeling a bit overwhelmed! It does always seem like a time pinch at the end huh? It's like we suddenly remember all the little things we need to do!

Re: nursing......you can do it!! I agree with getting formula (even sample cans) out of the house. When I had Jevin, I had the hardest time with latch and I eyed that little sample can so many times just bawling cause I didnt know what to do! Luckily I pushed through with nursing (which was VERY difficult for me in the first 4-6 weeks) and by 3 months we were both pros and he nursed until he was 2 years old (which is when he told me "no more booba mama!" and that was the end of that!) But you have our support here too! You can post whatever issues you are having and some of us can probably help.

Re: circ....is your dh laid back? I am very anti-circ but my dh is very dont care, go with the flow (even though he is circ'd and had just assumed we would) so we never really had a big issue or anything because of his laid back nature. I just showed him the video and he was like "NO WAY am I doing that to my kid!" and that was the end of that. LOL

[aisraeltax]

i totally know how you feel. we ordered the car seat and crib last week and i guess that will arrive soon. i am waiting for that to get her to get all the stuff out of the babys room (still has paint cans in there).
i still have to paint the toy box (same one that i used with the older ds and younger ds...this will be the 3d color!). also still have to put the cover on the rocking chair. now i am thinking of not even doing that. i think i will just leave it..its light blue...this is a boy...why not, right?
the thing with me is that when i do get up to do things, i get exhausted very quickly. i am very short of breath. and then the ligament pain is driving me crazy...walking up and down stairs, etc.
the last 2 preg's were so great. i had very little discomfort until the last couple of weeks sleeping. now, its hard for me to even fold clothes.
there is sooo much to do. i guess i am figuring that i will actually feel much better when the baby is here and i am physically able to move around more.
who knows? maybe i will NEVER get things done. i have the idea, though, that the baby isnt really going to care! lol! KWIM?
rach

[ldsapmom]

Go to a LLL meeting before your baby is born -- women in their thrid trimesters are encouraged to attend. That way if you need to call for help you don't need to feel she is a stranger. If you don't have a local group, attend an online chat. The biggest thing, like everyone said, is the desire to do it.

Baby things don't take up too much room -- we will be moving this baby into our bedroom, and he has a cleared out space in my armoire. There is room for the bassinette, but I don't know if I will put it up or not. I have never used a changing table, always the floor or the bed.

Circ, well circ sometimes is harder to do once baby is born and you actually associate what has to happen in oeder for baby's penis to get to how we expect it to look -- I know many who were on the fence, and once they meet their boys they KNOW that cannot do that to him.

Just keep growing your baby and you will be fine.

:)

[spiralmg]

Re: circ....is your dh laid back? I am very anti-circ but my dh is very dont care, go with the flow...I just showed him the video and he was like "NO WAY am I doing that to my kid!" and that was the end of that. LOL

Okay I NEED NEED NEED this video? Desiree, what is the video, where can I find it - Please tell me where to look. I need it now. (realize this has been probably posted elsewhere many times, but...hey).

The circ issue has kind of been hanging over my head. We did circ with DS and I was there for it (DH wasn't) and it was unspeakably horrible. DH wanted it because he had it, very typical - but now his excuse for this one was "well DS has it, so we will HAVE to do it for this new baby so he won't feel badly". However he has promised to read or view anything on it that I will give him and he might change his mind. I need ammo! But with everything else going on, it has kind of slipped.

[judybean]

Oh mamas, you don't even know how much your comments have helped. I know, most of them are basically saying you're in the same boat.. but misery loves company ;) Plus, you've offered wonderful tips.

I've checked on the net and there is no LLL group that I can find in my area, but I'll have to look into the online chats. There are NO artificial nipples in the house at all, nor is there any formula... if the hospital gives us any I will tell dh to hide it, then after all temptation is gone I'll take it to WIC or something? because there are mamas that need it I'm sure. Dh's cousin's wife (follow that?! :D ) is currently nursing her second babe and is very pro-bf ... I've talked with her before and she has said that if I have any problems or questions I can always call her (she lives in town even!) .. plus, my former co-worker just had a baby and is nursing so I know I can always call on her as well. It is nice knowing others who can help in person. And really, even just having you mamas here is a comforting thought. I've told myself (and dh) that there is no 'alternative' this time. I'm going to be home and it's just plain silly not to nurse!

Re: the circ issue.... I don't think dh would really have a problem with no circ. He wouldn't pierce a baby's ears so why should he choose what the babe's foreskin should look like? (I think this analogy would be a good one for him). I think he probably thinks it's a non-issue. He's circ'd and that's normal ... at least to him now. I've gathered my 'links of interest' to show him if he questions it. If anything, we won't do it right away, I'll have him check out everything once we're home... and really, after we leave the hospital I certainly don't see us going back for the procedure anyway (nor would I allow it :D )

Oh, and as for BFW... I'm goin to re-read the pain-management chapter and call it good. I've gone through the imagery in my head (and actually, once while playing with clay with Madeline I *did* made a beautifully pregnant-bellied woman and it was fun). I am worried about coping with the pain. I've told dh my intentions (no meds, as little intervention as possible while complying with policy) and while he is supportive as he can be, I think he is plenty skeptical. I've told him that he is not the one doing it and he better help me with my plans -- no matter what I say in the heat of the moment! And I think he'll go with that :)

So... THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!!!!!!!!

[Taedareth]

DH wanted it because he had it, very typical - but now his excuse for this one was "well DS has it, so we will HAVE to do it for this new baby so he won't feel badly".

OH! The Dr. Sears Baby Book had some great stuff to say about that. Hang on, I'll type the whole thing..... (page 34-5)

If he isn't circumcised, won't he feel different from his friends?
You cannot predict how different your son will feel if he is circumcised or intact. Boys generally have a wider acceptance of these individual differences than adults do. Locker room comparisons are a bit of a myth. It is difficult to know whether the majority of the boys will be circumcised or intact in the future. The number of circumcisions has been steadily declining in recent years as more parents begin to question routine circumcision. Currently , just under half of the infant males in the United States are being left intact, up considerably from 20% in the early 1980s.

[B]My husband is circumcised. Shouldn't my son be the same as his father?
Some fathers have strong feelings that if they are circumcised, their sons should be, and this feeling should be respected. The "like father, like son" complex is not a good reason to choose circumcision, as few fathers and sons compare foreskins. It will be many years before the boy looks like the father anyway. Even these fathers (usually because of pressure from their wives) are beginning to question the necessity of routine circumcision.

We have a son who is already circumcised. Should brothers be the same?
Since little boys do sometimes compare the styles of their penis, many parents feel that sameness is important among brothers. Just as you learn a lot from your first birth and may choose a different style for the next, not every child must be circumcised. If you choose to leave your next child intact, your problem will most likely be not in explaining to your intact child why he is intact but rather in explaining to your circumcised child why his foreskin is missing.

And Judybean - I've found that the internet list of LLL groups is not a good indiction of what groups actually exist. Like for instance there are two LLL groups in my county, but their website says there aren't any. So I'd say look in the phone book or contact someone earthy (your midwife, perhaps) and ask for the name of a LLL leader in your area. You may be pleasantly surprised :)

[judybean]

And Judybean - I've found that the internet list of LLL groups is not a good indiction of what groups actually exist. Like for instance there are two LLL groups in my county, but their website says there aren't any. So I'd say look in the phone book or contact someone earthy (your midwife, perhaps) and ask for the name of a LLL leader in your area. You may be pleasantly surprised :)

First, thanks for the info from Dr. Sears' Baby Book!! I have the breastfeeding Sears book and have learned a lot.

There is no LLL group listed in the phone book, nor have I ever seen mention of it in the newspaper (our community paper is pretty good about keeping people posted about the 'coming events' which includes meeting schedules of everybody from the Bridge Club to AA to a local play ... .. of course I'm totally unbiased since I used to work there ;) )... heck, even our town hospital didn't have a lactation consultant the two times I birthed there before... there is now an LC working at the public health office in town and I think I might give her a call because I know her from taking pictures of her kids when I was the sports editor and she is a wonderfully kind woman and I would feel pretty darn comfortable with her.

Oh.. and the midwife thing... see, I can't quite figure out the legality of it in my state... it's been pointed out ot me that it's not illegal, but articles that have appeared in different newspapers around the state seem to tell a different story (the issue came up during the last state legislative session... basically a bill to allow midwife-attended homebirths and the bill was shot down :eyesroll ). But, I might check at the only health food store for a 90 miles radius (it's 30 miles away from my town, but happens to be in the same town that I'm planning on birthing in this time around).

Hm... I put too much extra in there :blah (I have a way of doin that) ... but I really wanted to say thanks ;)

[atozmama]

One thing about the pain in labor-ask (or demand!) that the hospital staff not offer you drugs. You have done your research and know what is available and can ask for relief if you need it. It can be a moral buster (make you question if there is a real problem) to have a nurse continually asking if you want that epi now when in reality you are doing just fine and the nurse is not aware of what a drug free labor is like, or is busy and wants a quiet mother. BFW has a great section on compassionate use of drugs. Mark the page and take it with you to the hospital to consult before going there. There are also those cards to cut out and use during labor.

It is great that you have found some local Breastfeeding support. LLL Leaders also offer phone help at no charge. You could find the nearest phone number and put that aside if you have a question that your local support can't answer. Also another good reason to go drug free is that ALL anesthia drugs cross the placenta and affect the baby, usually the result is a sleepy baby who will not nurse effectivly.

You have put alot of thought and effort into this, even if you do not feel like it is enough, and can do it!