Inconsolable

[jstar]

by Marrit Ingman

have all my fellow PPD sufferers & survivors read this book??

i laughed and cried. i think she's my long lost twin.

it made me depressed for a couple of days after i read it to realize that i actually really was mired down in PPD last year (denial can be pretty strong). and also that she and her husband consequently decided one kiddo was enough for them. i really want another one but i'm *terrified* so i wonder, am i nuts to head into this again?

anyway, get the book. you'll laugh. and you'll feel better you're not alone. i'm so glad women are speaking out about this :heartbeat it takes some big ovaries.

[Anuska]

The book sounds great. Wish they had some books out like that when I suffered PPD in the mid 80's.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

i really want another one but i'm *terrified* so i wonder, am i nuts to head into this again?

Hi there I was reading your post and thought that I would come to tell u that even with sever ppd with one child does not mean that u will have it as bad or worse with the second. With my dd, my first, I had very sever ppd. I also was terrified to risk it again but I decided to go for it. I am happy to report that even tho i had very mild ppd it was nothing compaired to with dd and it only lasted a few months and was controled by meds. I just wanted to give you a little hope.

[mommy65]

i never sufffered with ppd, thank god, but i've definately suffered from the lack of sleep, self doubt, and marital difficulties ingman described so beautifully in her book. i loved it too! my thoughts go out to you and i'm glad you're feeling better.

[KrisPlusFour]

Hi there I was reading your post and thought that I would come to tell u that even with sever ppd with one child does not mean that u will have it as bad or worse with the second. With my dd, my first, I had very sever ppd. I also was terrified to risk it again but I decided to go for it. I am happy to report that even tho i had very mild ppd it was nothing compaired to with dd and it only lasted a few months and was controled by meds. I just wanted to give you a little hope.
:yeah:

And even if you think you might have PPD with the next one, you can begin to treat it beforehand. In the last week or two of pregnancy you can begin a SSRI and continue that into Post Partum. Hang in there, momma. :)

[boston]

It's a great book.
Definitely buy it.
And I'm not just saying that because she's a friend.

[Gale Force]

The book is exceptionally well-written. She certainly does describe the reality of mothering for those of us who have had on-going problems with our children and for those who struggle with depression.

I found it interesting that she accosts Dr. Sears (with a chapter title "Fuck Dr. Sears" even) but was obviously an attached parent. For instance, they decided to get their son to sleep in his crib by himself and I was touched by their efforts to smooth that transition. In my case I've set some nursing boundaries on my 3 1/2 year old and my actions have cut down his nursing significantly (thank God for that not really intended outcome), so I don't consider myself doing child led weaning even though 90% of MDC might think that I am. We have higher standards in our heads and may no longer self-identify with the label when we can't meet them.

I would be interested to hear her perspective on that period in her life now that it is mostly behind her (I assume). She wrote much of the book in the thick of it, which is why it is so real and so painful to read. boston -- send her to this thread to give us a special report. :D

[Tupelo Honey]

I'm reading this right now and loving it! I had only mild PPD with my middle child, and an episode of fairly intense baby-related depression when my first turned a year, but I can relate to a lot of what she says (Hell is other parents, lol).

I think she does a good job of explaining the problems she has with the Sears dogma, as well as acknowledging that he has done some good things for those parents who do choose to AP in terms of validating their choices. But I think her criticisms of how he treats PPD in the book are valid (It's in the tips for Dad's section, he acts like taking a shower and putting on some lipstick will make you feel better, he discourages medication without acknowledging that it may really be necessary in many cases). ETA: Lots of people realize that they practice Ap to some degree, but son't necessarily feel that it's thanks to dr. Sears, KWIM?

She has a blog. I'm not on my home computer so I don't have the link handy, but it's something like "The adventures of baldo and his intrepid parents." If you google Marrit Ingman you will find it.

I think she's incredibly brave to be so honest and lay herself bare like that. Oh, and I think their decision not to have another had a lot to do with the baby's multiple allergies, severe reflux, etc. There's always a chance that she would not be depressed with the next baby, but chances are also good that the baby would have similar allergy problems (I mean, this kid is allergic to everything under the sun).

[jstar]

yep. i'm hooked on her blog now too

http://www.suite102.com/baldo/

it is like she's one step ahead of me (i guess baldo is a year or 2 older than isaac). foreshadowing my future. oh the things i have to look forward to. i think baldo is less allergic now. my son has stopped clawing and scratching at his own itchy exzema problems thankfully.

i think she was incredibly brave too. and i am HAPPY that someone is because it made me feel so much less like a freak for having the war that was going on in my head there for a while :thumb

[Gale Force]

jstar -- have you found the "Heal the Gut" tribe in Health and Healing? There are quite a few people there who have had bad excema cases.