I want another baby...

[peaceful_mama]

And so does DH. There are a million reasons why this is crazy.

DS is not quite 14 months old. I never thought I'd want kids so close together, but i DO.

I just started school in September, but I'm not really thrilled with it....I'm not so sure I'm going to *like* nursing, I have absolutely no interest in it other than labor, delivery, and lactation consulting. And I just can't see waiting at least 2.5 years more for another babe, I can't see putting in another 2.5 years that are anything like this semester was.
And I don't honestly think it is.

My other big reason for wanting another soon is I grew up basically an only child, my half brothers were 20 years older and more than me. I *begged* my parents for a sibling. (I'm adopted, I wanted them to adopt another kid. My dad became disabled when I was 5 and no longer able to work, so that never happened.) I'm not warped for life or anything, but I did feel I was missing out on something. I went through a phase where I tried to fill that need with friends, now I've 'outgrown' that. DH grew up in a big family and thinks it's better for a child too, to have siblings 2-3 years apart like his family was.

I'd also rather we get a little more stable and into a house....but at the same time, I'm afraid that if I keep waiting for the 'perfect' time, it'll *never* come.

Anybody else been here?

[Sarah'sMama]

I really think deciding when/if to have subsequent children is harder than deciding on your first. You are so much more knowledgeable and know more what to expect, that it can scare you and excite you at the same time.

I read somewhere on these boards once that this is what you should do if trying to decide to ttc again...

for one week, go with the knowledge that you are going to wait till things are a bit more stable to ttc.

For another week, go with the knowledge that you are going to ttc again soon.

At the end of the two weeks, really evaluate your feelings about both ends of the spectrum, and maybe you'll come to a good realization of what you want.



Honestly, I think wanting a baby comes from the heart, and not from the mind, so once its in your heart, its hard to get rid of that want. I hope you can come to a decision that you[re happy with soon. I know how difficult it is to wonder. I'm on the fence about baby #3, so I know exactly what you're talking about!

[newcastlemama]

Honestly, I think wanting a baby comes from the heart, and not from the mind, so once its in your heart, its hard to get rid of that want.!
:truedat:
This is so true..I wanted another baby before my husband and he thought that I could just pick up another hobby or something to keep mymind off it!!! Anyway we might TTC next week so I am VERY excited!!! My ds is 16 months and we want a big family.. :bgbounce

I say if you and dh want another baby....HAVE ONE!!!!
:surprise: :makebaby: :boybaby: :girlbaby:

[peaceful_mama]

I DO...I also want to do it when I can stay home. I CAN'T honestly CANNOT handle the thought of any sort of regular basis bottles with a nursing babe of mine after the *ell I went through with DS. That means I need to be able to stay home, and maybe have some sort of income that can be done with babe...which means DH needs to be working. Which means it is best to wait. Even though I want another baby. Like YESTERDAY. I will literally need to be committed though if I have to go through the heartbreak of a babe who won't nurse again. I CAN'T have bottles wrecking a nursing relationship. And for my child, it's best if I wait till I can have that--DS had major dairy intolerances starting at 3.5 months, and I fully believe it wouldn't have happened if he'd never had formula...NOT MY CHOICE the stupid nurses stuck a bottle in his mouth at 7 hours old rather than actually help me breastfeed, and their stupid hospital policies did not allow teaching of any other feeding method (like cup or syringe/finger feeding)
I know enough now to figure all that out on my own, but I'm scared that even if I didn't go back till 3 months, any necessary bottles would wreck our nursing. And, like I said, if I had to go through the whole exclusive pumping bit agian, I would go insane.

but I want another one

[muttix2]

I want another baby too but my dh doesn't. Just ignoring it doesn't work, I've wanted another one for a few months now and the longing only gets worse :( But, your situation is different than mine b/c your dh is w/you on the yearning! :lol If you can afford it and truly want another, have another! Babies are so wonderful :) Plus, close spacing isn't neccessarily bad, mine are just under 14 months apart (ds turned 14 months like 4 days after I had ds #2!) and they are so close. :love Anyway, if you're ready, go for it! If it'll make you feel better, write out a plan to see how it would go.

[kochanyk]

I once heard that "if everyone waited until the perfect time to have a baby there would barely be any population in this world". Really, that is true. If you can afford to have a another child and your desire is so great then perhaps you should follow your heart. As far as BFing relationship and going to school/work I can tell you that my son did just fine. I returned to work 3.5 m PP and he took a few bottles while I was at work (EBM only- never formula). He had a bit of nipple confusion- and a lazy latch for a month or so- so we reverse cycled a bit and things got worked out. I too am horrified of bottles, and as soon as DS was able to hold a sippy of EBM that's what he got when I was away. Obviously not possible at 3 months, but if you could postpone one semester and wait until 6 months (or take online or independent study courses one semester) it may be possible to go straight to sippies. Sounds like you had it rough with your DS- what an awful thing for that nurse to do. Any mama that can exclusively pump is my hero!!! Good luck on whatever you decide :)

[FuzzyOne]

yep - me and my husband both want another baby. in fact, dh was ready to start trying after ds was like a couple months old (but knew it was WAY too early - he was just in love :love ). ds is five mos. now and after a lot of thought about it, we have decided to wait until he is closer to a year in order to make sure that he gets a minimum of one full year of breastfeeding - i am too afraid that being pregnant will affect that (even though i do plan on nursing through pregnancy). i got pregnant on my second try and i am hoping to have it be that way this time but am afraid that bf might make it difficult. we had to wait so long to have kids we are just totally ready for them all!

[wombatclay]

I hear ya on the "I want another but it's crazy" thought! My dd is almost 9 months and my dh and I both want another as soon as possible (he even mentioned yesterday when we were shopping for boots for dd that we should get a good brand since that way they'd last till the "next one" needed them!) We did decide to wait till dd was at least a year though (which gives us a few more months to go)...but we've got some insanity of our own.

My DH is a grad student, so works wierd hours (often 60+ hours a week) for very little pay. I worked full time during my first pregnancy and wound up on disability for the last few months (high bp, pitting edema, carpal tunnel and problems in my legs and ankles, etc). After a loooong labor I had a c/s (dd was asynclitic) and now work part time as the primary wage erner. Which means we're pretty far in the hole financially.

However, when dh and I sat down and really talked about it we realized that it's unlikely that we'll have gobs of financial security any time in the forseable future and waiting to have another baby till we had that security might mean never. So we're going to wait a year so that my chances of a vbac are maximized (and so I can get back into "fighting trim") and his PhD is a little closer and dd gets a full year of breast milk (I'm planning to nurse while pregnant, but after my last pregnancy I know things don't always go as planned).

Having a baby (especially after your first) really is a matter of heart and desire and emotion, so sometimes it's just a question of letting go of worries (easier said than done, I know) and seeing what happens. Either way...good luck!

[peaceful_mama]

ITA with that!! SIL asked last night at dinner at her place when we were having another...I said we are not trying *yet.* She said 'well you don't want to space them TOO far apart...' To which my nephew (older than ME) puts in 'yeah, you should talk about that...." (My brother's kids are 30, 19, and 11...) Nothin like one every 10 yrs......

I am already planning how to announce my pregnancy....I want to make a lil T-shirt for DS that says "Big Brother, Summer 2006" Or whatever my month is IN 2006!!!! ;)

But to be fully honest, I want to either stay home absolutely full time or I want to work as minimally as possible, maybe even just go to school. For that to happen, I have to wait for DH to have a job. That's VERY important to me, especially after the bf'ing trauma I went through with DS, I want to do NO bottles if I can.....that means I HAVE TO wait...
I also would rather we be in a place with our own laundry facilities so I can CD. Would make things MUCH cheaper. I *liked* the short time I did CD's with DS.
But we both get a vote....if DH says he wants to just go for it, I will too. If I'm going to wait for the washer and dryer at least, it'll be most likely 1/2007,at the earliest, which still wouldn't be bad. I don't know what month that puts me at for TTC....

[nonconformnmom]

I don't know what it is but I swear there's something in our hormones that kicks in around 13-15 months post partum that makes us crazy with desire to have another baby. It has happened to me at that precise time with all 3 of my babies. I'm bracing for it now becaise my baby just turned 13 months old and we plan for her to be our last. (It happened when my now-3 year old was 15 months old and her little sister is the result - 11 months later (26 months between them).

[peaceful_mama]

ITA with you there! I have been on this baby kick for a month or 2 now, not just in consideration of wanting a sibling for ZZ in theory, but I mean I WANT TO BE PREGNANT RIGHT NOW and I'm almost jealous of ppl who are LOL. NOT in a BAD way just that i wish I was too....
I think it is also my age. I am 28. I have 3 friends who all majorly wanted a first or another at this age...they swear it's biologically something with the age of 28.

[babumama]

Me too, sort of. I have the fever but then reality hits me. I don't even have AF back and my nursling is almost 20months. I don't have health insurance. We paid out of pocket for our homebirth. Dh is taking a pay cut from jan-march. My oldest dd is having major separation anxiety issues. We have a small two bedroom house. I believe in giving your children at least two years of breastfeeding so we couldn't ttc until april or may, sorry I am rambling. I want another baby, I love being pregnant but I am still a bit spooked by the intensity of my last birth. It was beautiful,natural,healthy,painful,very fast and I have not gotten enough amnesia about it yet :o

[*Devon*]

Slightly off topic here... my mom is in nursing school and she felt the same way you do after the first semester!! She hated it, wasn't interested in it, and never wanted to go back!! Well, she stuck it out and now she absolutely loves it. Just give it a little more chance, is all I'm sayin.

As for the baby thing-- whatever you decide will be the right choice! :thumb

[peaceful_mama]

the thing is I LOVE teaching and it's a far less time-consuming degree for me as I've already done 1/2 of it. :)

[*Devon*]

well, I can get behind that :lol since it's what I do!!

[peaceful_mama]

yeah I have 17 disabled/speech delayed preschoolers of my own!! ;) I LOVE LOVE LOVE ds but I also can't *wait* to get back and hear about their vacations... :)

That's a hard one for me, as much as I want to SAHM I think I would HAVE TO volunteer some time or something with those kids, I'll NEVER have a time where all of 'mine' have graduated..... ;) I honestly can't imagine just quitting and not knowing how they are....

[*Devon*]

I feel the exact same way. Fortunately I have some time before I have to make the choice, but I do think I'd like to do something else eventually (like go back to school or be a SAHM) but how can I leave my kids??? :throb