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View Full Version : It's not that I *want* a homebirth as much as I *need* it




MamaTaraX
12-05-2005, 09:52 PM
Here I sit, 34 weeks pregnant for the 3rd time. Nice big happy baby in there. My first homebirth probably about 4.5 weeks away. Wow. My husband was a little apprehensive about having a homebirth. He thinks that all babies should be born at home....except mine. He worries about me and I think that is sweet. The only reason we're having a midwife is for his peace of mind; I'd rather do a freebirth, surrounded by friends and family.
The subject line I chose for a reason. I want ahomebirth, I beleive in this homebirth...but I really *need* it to happen. I need for my husband to see this birth, at home, and I need it go to "well". He has confidence in my ability to birth, but he still worries. I need this to be the beautiful thing I plan it to be for him. I talk to the baby a lot and tell her what I need frrom her in terms of the birth. I'd like it to go smoothly. I don't believe I will be in labor very long, but I want to be in labor long enough to call the midwife. Not because I want orneed her there, but because I think that a quickie unplanned UC will really devestate him. He thinks freebirthing is great, he just doesn't want to see me do it. Actually, in the beginning of the pregnancy, he was okay with it as long as I surrounded myself with people while it happened, preferaly people who had birthed before. Then he started getting uneasy about it. So as tempting as it is for me to not call the midwife, I will (or will have him do it). Even if she dosn't arrive, at least she will have been called. I think that forhim, just knowing she's coming will be enough to reassure him.
I don't think there is anything I can truly do to make this birth happen as beautifully as I'd like, other than talking to the baby a lot about my wishes. I really just want my husband to experience and even more empowered birth than lasttime. He caught our 2nd son and now thinks that all daddies or partners should catch their children. he will catch this baby, though he doesn't want to be part of the labor itself (which is another post for another day). I'm so looking forward to this birth -- looking forward to the feel of labor,birthing my baby into the home where she (or he) will nurse,play,and grow, looking forward to sharing my awesome birth witht he people who will be here as well as the ones I tell about it later. Thanksfor letting me share :)

Namaste, Tara




Aka mommy
12-05-2005, 11:18 PM
Awww, i hope your birth is as wonderful as you need it to be. And maybe your dh will change his mind about his involvement level when it gets down to it, mine did. Though im not sure if he felt he had much choice lol! Hugs

JanetF
12-06-2005, 02:51 AM
Sending vibes your way :hug

LeosMama
12-06-2005, 11:24 AM
:hug Tara

I'll be thinking of you. What a loving and wonderful DH you have, you're very fortunate and blessed to have such a person as your life partner. Now if you can get him to use logic as well as love and devotion when making decisions...

busybusymomma
12-06-2005, 01:56 PM
Sending wonderful birthing vibes your way! :) I totally understand, our 2nd baby was our 1st homebirth and after all the convincing it took to bring dh around, I *needed* it to succeed. Well, it sure did. He thinks the midwife and homebirth are fabulous now. :)

Happy birthing!

Breathless Wonder
12-06-2005, 02:11 PM
Sending wonderful homebirth vibes your way!

chiro_kristin
12-08-2005, 09:34 PM
You must have a very sweet dh who loves you so much that he wants to respect your wishes and what he intellectually knows to be right and just asks for that compromise. And how much you love and respect him to give him that compromise.

I love to see devoted partners work together. That trust and connection will truly make this a beautiful birth of the baby you created together.

sarahloughmiller
12-12-2005, 04:07 PM
Kristis said it perfectly.
I felt that way having my twins. I needed my hb to go "well", not so much for me but for my dh and I guess I wanted to prove to family that it was the right thing to do and that we were not crazy. As much as my dh was with me on having them at home I know he was really worried also. I am sure you will have a beautiful birth!