I'm in dream land

[Noah's mommy]

I don't know how many of you have to go back to work following the baby's birth, but right now I am scheduled to go back at 6 weeks. Dh and I are both teachers and one income in the DC area is not much of a possibility. That said, Dh and I keep talking about me staying home next year. We've gone very frugal and are trying our best to make it work. I keep thinking I may not go back after the birth of this baby. I love my job-I'm a reading specialist in an elementary school but somehow nothing else compares to the idea of being home. Just curious about everyone else's post baby plans? Am I the only bad mama going back so early (my SIL lives with us and takes care of toddler and this babe until June)?

[AndiG]

I'm in Canada where a paid one year leave is standard for everyone following the birth of their child. (first 17 weeks are 'maternity' and can be taken only by the mom, the following 35 are parental and can be taken by either or both parents but cannot exceed 52 paid weeks per child)
So I'll get my leave.
And then there is likely no job for me to come back to. I've been with the same company for about 12 years but they've down sized a lot and I was actually laid off for the summer. I'd just found out I was pg when I got laid off and they felt really really bad, knowing it would hurt my paid leave, so they brought me back for 20 weeks or so so I could get my paid benefits for the year etc. So once my year is over I get a severance package worth about another 20 weeks (or by some fluke they've stabilized and I get a job, but I'm not counting on that.)

As this is our third in 4.5 years, I'll just stay home and see where it takes me. Likely, I'm going to retrain when this baby is one or two and go into a different field.

[~lioneyes~]

I am not going back to work, because I'm not working right now. I have been going to school full time for the pat two years, and I still have 5 terms left. I will have to take a few online classes starting at the beginning of April, then start back full time after that. The good thing is that even though I get stressed out from school, my program is all online, so I get to stay home until I'm finished. On the flip side, If I did have a job, I would have to go right back to work. When we have our next child, I should have a job, and will not get to stay home like I am with this little one.

[3 Little Monkeys]

I'm lucky enough that we can survive on one income, I haven't worked in 7 yrs I think. I do have my business on the side though - not that it makes any money :lol

[katiemfree]

Noah's mommy- I can totally relate~ But first, you are not a bad mama for going back- you are taking care of your family either way, providing for their needs. I am the reluctant primary bread winner in our family and SO much don't want to be! I plan to take a 3 month leave IF we can afford it, only have 6 weeks paid. I wish I was in dreamland- I have be in "constantly stressed and distracted" land about our work/home situation. Although I am in denial about child care stuff for the new baby- can't even THINK about dropping him or her off at daycare at 3 months old- it just is not going to happen- DS didn't start preschool/daycare until he was 3.5 yrs- and I still had a hard time with it. I have been reading a lot of birth affirmations and have added "something will work out for our family" to the list, because that is honestly what I am more stressed/focused on- labor seems like a breeze by comparison!!

[charmcitymama]

Yeah, the DC area is over the top in price. But, you know, you can always move to Baltimore! You could definitely survive on one teacher's salary in some parts here. You could also freelance with tutoring to get more hours with your babe.

[Honeybee'smama]

I can also relate! With dd I graduated two weeks before she was born, and started part time substitute teaching when she was about 4 months old, but then I left her home with dh. Dh works at home and we managed to not have dd in any sort of day care until she was over a year. This time will be very different and I am having a hard time with that. I am still subbing, so will start back part time way sooner than I want, not really sure when that will be though, and when I start back baby will have to be at day care. Luckily we have someone we love :love :love :love but it is still not me! The money/work thing post baby is definatly more stressful to me than labor/birth. I just keep trying to tell myself that it will all work out, maybe I will start to believe it at some point.

Noah's mommy, that is awsome that your SIL will be able to do child care, I know it is not you, but that is great to have family that can help out like that.

AndiG., wow, how nice to have a full year! That is amazing, wish it was that way everywhere!

[AndiG]

yes, we're very fortunate. Its a newer benefit, only started for children born since January 2001. We were married in Sept 1999 with the intention of starting a family 'right away' (we'd been together for nine years before we were married.) Six weeks after we were married there started being information in the press about the possibility of this new 'benefit'.... We waited to TTC until it was formally a part of the governement benefit program....
Prior to Jan 2001, the leave was six months and could only be taken by the mom.

[winnie]

I am also in Canada, so have the option to take a full year off. The only problem is that I have been working part time at a near- minimum wage job for the past year (I'm a student), and they will be giving me 55% of that income. It's not much - it will basically be enough for our groceries each month.
We would both love it if I can stay home for the year, but we will have to see how we survive on DP's income plus the little bit I will be getting. I think it's do-able!

winn

[~lioneyes~]

You are lucky up there in Canada. We have one of the worst systems for maternity leave here in the US. I took a sociology class once, and was shocked to look at how much other countries get. A friend of mine doesn't quite work full time, and she doesn't get any :( .

[Noah's mommy]

Thanks for all of the support girls. My SIL lives with us (she's not actually my SIL until May-my BIL is at training in another state) and she takes excellent care of my son now. I know little babe will be in good hands even if they aren't mine for 3 months. Then I'll be home through the summer and maybe next year. It was funny, yesterday we had a snow day and DH and I were both home with DS (that's a perk of teaching!) and it was as if I was trying to *prove* I could stay home-
I washed, folded and put away 3 loads of laundry
Made homemade spaghetti sauce
Made cookies with DS
Fingerpainted with DS
Vacuumed
Took both cars for inspections and oil changes
Not that I think staying home is all crafts and cuddles but I did feel like I was trying out to be a SAHM! Dh said if it were solely up to him (and not the mortgage comapany) I'd be home in an instant!

[mamasittingduck]

i am also unfortunately the main breadwinner of our little family and will have no choice but to go back after 3 months. luckily, california is one of a few states that gives an extra 6 weeks of paid family leave, so that will help.

i hate the idea of leaving my new first baby for long days at work, and it will be worse when she comes, i just know it.....

but we decided we don't want any day care, so it is either me or DH that has to do the job.....

sherri

[Pariah]

I'm going to be staying at home with our baby, and stepping up my online sales (eBay and other similar sites). I made decent money doing it casually, and I know getting serious about it (I've been doing lots of reading on improving online auction sales and whatnot) will be able to provide some money. My husband will be working full time. His mom was a SAHM, and he's totally supportive of me being here instead of working outside the home.

[*violet*]

I went back to work full time after ds was born (one day a week at home) and now I work four days in the office and am off one day. Though crazy sometimes, it all works out. We need the income from my job and cutting back and not working isn't an option. I make pretty good money, plus I work like three blocks from our house and my schedule can be pretty flexible. Dh is a teacher, so his summers are off. I get 12 weeks off work with the new one, but only 6 will be 50% pay, the rest is unpaid - which sucks. With this new baby, ds2 won't have to be in daycare for 6 months, which was our goal in getting pregnant when we did.

[winnie]

We really are lucky, lioneyes - not just for the fact that we get a year paid leave, but the fact that having this baby (in the hospital) won't cost me anything out of pocket. I couldn't believe the costs of things like epidurals, c-sections (not that I plan to have either, but still), in some of my books that were printed in the U.S.

winn

[AndiG]

Winn, I know what you mean, everytime I read threads about 'what this is costing', especially the home birth stories, it just KILLS me. I am just appalled that so many people end up having to spend so very much to have a baby.

[boycrazy]

I have been at home since my oldest was born 7 years ago. It can get REALLY tight. We are blessed with a beautiful home my dh built for us, we should be better at living with in our means. But we will not live in a cheaper house unless things get really bad. It means too much to dh since he is a homebuilder. Our mortgage is not nearly as high as the people down the block bc Steve did so much of the work himself...
It is also very important to Steve that I stay home with the kids. I really can't imagine having to get out there each day and have the kids with someone else. Noah's mommy we live in the midwest and I'm sure the the cost of living is NOTHING compared to DC. My girlfriend that lives there has mention how much her friends pay for child care :flipped CRAZY. She lives in a small apt and pays an outragous fee!

[EllasMama]

I have a friend (a teacher) who went to graduate school so she could supplement her partner's income (also a teacher) without having to work full time. She had to register as a full-time student, but the on-campus time was far less than a full-time job. She also got access to a child care center on campus for a VERY low fee (and this center is actually GOOD). I think at first she got financial aid and took out student loans in excess of what she needed so she they had some extra income, so was borrowing a bit against the future, but it wasn't the total amount of tuition and for her it was a preferable option to going back to work. In the end she was getting free full tuition plus got a research job that didn't require tons of work but paid a $1000/month stipend. Just thought I'd share b/c it was very creative of her to make some money, spend more time with her child, plus get an advanced degree. It wasn't EASY, mind you, but then neither is being a full-time working mom. Best wishes to you!

Carol