DS is making violent statements

[papapoochie]

DW and I are pretty peaceful folk. No tv, no guns, compost, recycle, etc. Crunchy types I suppose. DS is 3.5 yrs old.

Anyway, my DW is getting pretty upset cause DS is making statements about wanting to hurt people, ie, "I want to pinch (add any little person here)." Or "I want to squish Jesus," etc. When we tell stories, which I do with him every morning while DW is grooming and before I head to work. He usually adds to the story like this....'and the train crashed into (add a friend of his here) and she cried."

Sometimes he will even try to kick another kid in the supermarket. Usually he is frustrated about something.

Anyway, any responses will be appreciated. When I was a kid I played w/guns and played cops/robbers, cowboys and Indians, etc. So, maybe I had that as an outlet? Any ideas? :nut

[Tata]

Well, based on what you mentioned and what our DD went through and to a degree still goes through, it could be he is just processing things in a fantasy way. ANd, that's OK as long as he is made aware that the actual physical act of pinching / kicking is not OK. The frustration part is right on. Our DD had similar issues with hitting and frustration. Sometimes the frustration and processing parts get all mixed together. Like, being frustrated at not being able to process or understand something to their satisfaction. Who knows what is really going on in the three year old mind? The squish Jesus part is interesting. The first thing i thought of was a language issue. Like, you tell a story that has the phrase, crush your enemies, or some such idiom in it. And, the three year old mind only understands crush as in squish flat. Not crush as in defeat utterly. Soooo, you get, I want to squish Jesus. I've had to explain and am still explaining double and triple meanings of words and phrases. I really don't think you have much to worry about. It can be disconcerting, though. Like, when our DD processed through people eating fish. We are vegetarians and had to explain what the dead fish were doing in the store freezer. Her fantasy play went something like this -
You take the fish. Take the fishes body and chop it up.(makes chopping motion with her toy spoon hitting her play table) chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop...
Repeat the whole sequence several more times.
As far as helping with the processing, we've been very creative and sometimes firm about our boundaries and respect issues. Listening a lot and showing a lot of compassion in regards to her frustration. I hope this helps in some way. Don't despair.

[papapoochie]

Thanks for the insight and reply TATA! :thumb

[Tata]

Oh, yeah. She also chopped up a horse and a cow along with the fish.

[papapoochie]

HA!! :lol

[MrsMoe]

"I want to squish Jesus,"



:lol

[paloma]

This happened with my DD. I tried to redirect it, and it got worse. I took her to a psychologist, and I was told to let her work it out. I think this is when they get scary and bloody. It coincides, I think, with talk of death.