Dad Not As Involved...Advice?

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Okay, well, let me start off by saying that this whole AP thing is somewhat new to me. I have one son who will be 4 this march and we co-sleep, I'm home schooling so far and am a SAHM (well, I work 4 hours twice a week, but at night when he's already asleep). My concern is Daddy. He seems very neutral with EVERYTHING. For example, whenever I mention any lifestyle change I would like to make (switching to organics, stopping flouride toothpaste, extended breastfeeding and no vaccines for our future children), his only reply is "sure" or "okay". He never makes suggestions, reads any Mothering articles without some serious prompting on my part, researches any related topics on the internet, etc. Just pseudo-support. Now don't get me wrong, he's a GREAT daddy! Wonderful. He plays with his son, cares for him, etc. It just gets very frustrating sometimes! So my question is: How do I get him more actively involved in AP and Natural parenting, etc? If you're a dad, how did you become involved, and if you're a mom, how did you get dad involved?
Thanks~~>Kelly
PS-For some quick background info-neither he or myself were raised by AP parents. We had both parents working, bottlefed, went to daycare 9 hours a day, etc. I don't know if this effects him (maybe he thinks we turned out fine, so however we parent won't make a difference.)

[cumulus]

Maybe asking for his advice to get him thinking as opposed to making suggestions of your own. Does he like to read? If you have a favorite parenting book you could reread aloud with him or one you've always wanted to read, especially if it stesses fathering a little, then perhaps that might get him thinking and involved some more. Maybe a novel like "The Man Who Loved Children." Have any freinds whose DHs are more involved that you might socialize with a bit more often in situations where he might see a more involved Dad at work? How about "Dad" movies, "Second Best" or "Mrs Doubtfire?"

[papabliss]

Hi,

First, let me say that with guys, wanting your DH to change might be a lost cause. For many of us (males), we really don't have huge opinions about everything, just somethings. My DW tells me what we are going to do all the time. That's fine with me. She makes good decisions and I trust her. It actually annoys me when she really says she really wants my thoughts on the matter because 1) we will be doing what she wants anyway, and 2) she always has some little tidbit of information or research unknown to me that nullifys any thoughts I have.

On the other hand, you might be trying create a monster. If you really want your DH to morph into Dr. Sears, then you better be ready for two pilots trying to fly one family plane. Sometimes competition is not what one really wants, but is what one gets when pressing for other opinions.

I guess what I am saying in a nutshell is don't worry, be happy. You've got a situation better than most, and your DH's behavior sounds completely normal to me. And normal in a good direction.

pb

[papachee]

I have to agree with papabliss (sorry didn't intend to copy your handle :)

my wife sometime accuses me of the same thing. He'll probably live with most of the things for a while. He'll probably also tell you if he thinks something isn't working.

You never know you might even find him definding AP when you're not around.