DC present at birth?

[peilover010202]

Anyone thought about this? I would love to have my ds present at the birth, but I don't know if the hospital allows it and I also am not sure how he would feel (I am a very loud and vocal birther.) So, I'm up in the air with it all. I do let him watch House of Babies and such on Discovery Health Channel and he is totally intrigued and says "baby!" Mama, does that baby have an owie? (from the blood.) So, i am pretty confident he'd do that with that aspect of it all....Hmmmmmmm.

[onlyboys]

My children (aged 9, almost 4, and 2) were surprisingly uninterested in what was going on. We let them watch Cinderella and it was much more interesting than the birth. The only one who was interested was my 2 year old who really took care of me until he got hungry. Then my mom fixed him eggs and he went to eat them, then the baby was born.

Good luck with your decision!

[an_evans]

My kids weren't that intrested either. Alaina was in the room but wasn't watching specifically.

[Robynee]

I've asked James if he wants to be there and he just isn't interested. He is more excited about being able to sleep at his grandparent's house for the night. As much as I'd love to have him there I think I would feel a little inhibited because I would worry about scaring him. He reacts strongly to my emotions.

[Miss Juice]

My DD was 2 yrs 5 months when DD2 was born. I didn't want her to be there because I was concerned that it would be hard for her to see me in that state, and I was concerned that I would feel I needed to alter my behavior for her benefit. So I sent her to her Grandma's house overnight, which she was very excited about. And everything was fine.

Well, when I told her (now almost 4 years old) that we are having another baby, her first question was "Why?" and her second question was "Can I please come with you to the hospital this time? I don't want to stay at Grandma's house." Wow. It's obviously important to her, and if she wants to be there, I think she should be able to. If I decide to go that route this time, I will have my MIL devoted to DDs care, so if she needs comforting or needs to leave or needs a plate of scrambled eggs I won't have to worry about it.

Of course I haven't figured out whether we are using the same hospital (I don't know what their kiddo policy is) or whether we are having a homebirth. That will make a difference.

[Ary99]

I think all that hollerin' would scare my child. I have a vague recollection asking the nurse if she thought my screaming what scaring the other *inmates* (what does that tell you about my state of mind?). He's three. But you know I have no clue what we'll do with him when the baby is born.

[BCmamaof6]

I am hoping for a homebirth, but do not intend to have my children watch.
They will probably be home, though. Our house is big enough for them to be in another part of it, KWIM? Or outside :lol we're on acreage.

[leurMaman]

I think I would have DS present at birth if he were older (the hospital would allow it). However, he'll only be 2 years old. I'm not sure he'd do well with it all. We'll see.

[achintyasamma]

If we have the baby in Delaware, I'll ask my friend who lives in the same apartment complex to be with ds. I figure they can shuttle back and forth between my house and hers, and ds can play with their two kids. I'd like to have him there for the actual birth, but I know he may not want to be there.

[nfbmom]

All of my kids watched the entire birth with my last one. They were 10, 8, 5 and 2 at the time. I had my sis and Mom there taking care of them and none of them had any problems. I do remember one funny comment while I was pushing (I hadn't planned on it but they got a birds eye view of the whole thing). One of them said "I can't tell if that's the baby's hair or Mom's hair!" LOL

This time I will have them all home again but I'm not sure my older two boys will want to watch the whole thing again. They've gotten pretty personal about body parts and functions and feel uncomfortable talking about it. I'm pretty sure the girls will want to watch, though.

I do plan on preparing them a little better because my 8yo dd is convinced the whole childbirth thing is pretty painful because all she heard was noise. I keep trying to explain to her that sometimes intense emotions and working hard make noises too. Maybe she needs to see more of the labor part so she can see that I'm not in pain, I'm just working hard.

Why do all my answers turn into novels rather than just a short answer? :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :blah :lol

[an_evans]

I don't know why I didn't mwention this earlier but I think the most important thing was for my girls to be there RIGHT AFTER he was born. They were on the bed when we were cleaning up and were some of the first to hold him and helped the midwives clean him up.

In the hospital I might have someone bring him right in as soon as the baby is in arms.

[KarmaChameleon]

I would really like hte my girls to be there but they will be 3 and 5, old enough to decide. I at least hope they are there at the birth center -- there is a living room with a TV/VCR and a dollhouse...which might be more interesting.

I am a very quiet birther -- but very weepy -- which may freak them out.

[the_lissa]

My then 30 month old will be at our home birth.

[veganf]

Well, my son slept through my last 1 hour 40 minute labor, and the midwife barely made it in time. So we may not have a choice! But as much as I'd like them to be there, I'll try to have someone to care for them if they don't want to be there. Last time, my SIL (who lives 45 minutes away) had that job, but by the time she arrived, my husband greeted her at the door with a new baby. I have 2 friends within a 5 minute drive who I'm going to ask instead this time, because if labour is any faster, I'll barely have time to find the phone!

- krista

[afishwithabike]

people do it a lot. i didn't, but that is because dd is sensative. you know our dc and what they can handle. i just knew if mommy sounded hurt it would bother her and make her upset.

[mlec]

I'm not sure what to do w/ my 33 mo dd. We're planning a homebirth, and I would like her to be here, but our place is really small and I don't want her to be upset by the whole thing. I'm pretty vocal, but I get a little pissy, and that's the last thing I want her to see. These days, if i'm the slightest bit frustrated, stressed, or worried, she says, "Mama ANGRY!"

If I have her here, but in a different room, then I"m not sure who to get to take care of her. My mom would totally make me feel stressed; likewise w/ my sisters. I would need someone who's a big fan of nat'l childbirth, really low key. Could I hire a doula to take care of my daughter? :bag:

[AmieV]

I can't imagine my DD being there as she will only be about 19 months when #2 arrives. But, I also like the idea of her being there for right after. I hope, hope, hope my mom will be here for this birth (she was there for my DD's birth) so maybe she can watch her and bring her in right after. I don't like the idea of DD going somewhere else...not sure why and who knows how I'll feel when it gets closer.

[rebeccalizzie]

My 9 yo and I talked about this yesterday. We decided to play it by ear. She's very sensitive and doesn't want to see me in pain (I *wish* it was only working hard for me...DD's birth just plain hurt :) ). And I don't want to be worrying about her being upset. So we decided she and my mom will both be there. DD can stay in the room until it gets to be too much for her, and then my mom will take her to the waiting room and hang out with her there. Once the baby is born, DD will be the first person after DH and I to hold the baby (my mom is right in line after her--I've already been informed of that :lol )

If she isn't getting freaked out, though, I told her she can stay for the whole thing.