logistics...bedtime....uh oh...

[IncaMama]

sooo...we still co-sleep w/rowan...and his bedtime is sort of "whenever" which tends to be around 11ish these days. well tonight he crashed for a late nap at 5:30 (it was a weird day, as you can imagine) and so we decided to all try to get some sleep since Ava seemed mellow. well...about 5 minutes into our "nap", Ava started screaming and so i ran out of the room with her for fear of waking up rowan. she wasn't settling so i came downstairs with her and sat with her while dave and rowan slept upstairs. i dozed on and off but in a very uncomfy position (with her on boppy, nursing, it just wasn't quite working) and rowan woke up at around 7.

soooo...i'm getting a little nervous about the bedtime stuff. rowan's been virtually nightweaned for months, but if he does happen to wake up for whatever reason (nightmare, etc) he typically does need to nurse a bit to get back to sleep ( a few minutes only). but what if Ava wakes him up w/her crying...i've got her to deal with AND rowan.

we haven't figured out what she likes yet other than nursing (bouncing, rocking, singing, we don't know yet) so we're pretty dang nervous about how this is all gonna work out. :(

rowan does like his big boy bed in his other room, but not typically enough to stay there the whole night...and even if he did, if Ava's screaming he's gonna hear her and then he'll be in the OTHER room and even harder for me to deal with (in a little twin bed rather than in our big bed)...sooooooo....

ACK!! what are we gonna do?? :lol

[marisa]

:hug

It's tough...he will probably need to regress for a little while and go back to some night nursing. The bigger kids do learn to sleep through the baby crying - but it does take some time. Hang in there!

[aisraeltax]

oh boy michelle! i hope it gets better soon. too bad you dont have kids ilke mine! ds1 and i slept through Hurricane Andrew (1992/1993?)! lol!
im sure things will calm down for you after a few weeks. sorry to hear you are ending up downstairs. maybe Dave and Rowan can fall asleep in Rowan's room for a few days while Ava gets into a grove? just a thought....

rach

[atozmama]

Rowan didn't wake up today when Ava fussed, mabey he will be able to sleep through most of it. My kids have all slept through most baby crying. In fact kids sleep so soundly that a company has made a special smoke alarm that parents can record a message to wake the kids up since many kids will sleep through regular smoke alarms but respond to parents voices.

If he does wake up, take a deep breath and see whose needs are most urgent and quickest meet. Mabey you can pass off Ava, even upset, for a moment to DH and settle Rowan back to sleep quickly and then take care of Ava, who will likely need a longer nursing. Mabey DH can find a new way to settle Rowan while you are out of site. I know it sounds trite when it is a big worry, but these things usually work themselves out.

Please remember that and tell me again when I am stressing in a few weeks with four kids to put to bed on my own!

[IncaMama]

thanks ladies :hug i've been having little waves of panic, but i do know that everything will eventually work out...i know it will be ok...i just have no idea HOW. :lol

i'm also getting worried about getting baby blues...i didn't really with rowan, but now i've got twice the responsibility so i'm trying to stay aware of my emotions and not let them get the best of me...so please forgive me if i still come here a lot to just get feedback. you're all very special to me and i respect your values and advice. :hug

[ldsapmom]

Michelle, nak, don;t know how big the big boy bed is, but ours was a twin. The first few nights I slept in the twin with the newbie becasue I wasn;t sure my toddler would be safe in bed with a newbie, and the toddler was nightweaned, too. Until I got comfortable and we figured things out, that worked for us.

[IncaMama]

hmmmmmmmmmm...that's something i did not even think of! the only issue with that is that i still can't quite sleep in a flat bed yet and was planning on being in the recliner in our room, not the bed...i could sleep downstairs in our other recliner for a while until she gets her routine down....but hm...i'm gonna think more about the twin option...

[DesireeH]

Aww, I have no advice as I am not there yet but I wonder about this too! Jevin mostly sleeps in his big boy bed in his own room but lately he's been coming into our bed. We have a guest bed so I thought if baby was fussy I'd go lay on that other bed with the baby. Dunno though!

I hope it all works itself out quickly.

[Daffodil]

I have a baby who's almost 2 weeks old, and an almost-3-year-old who still cosleeps. I was afraid the baby would wake up DD when he cried at night, but it hasn't happened yet. She sleeps right through it. So you may not need to worry about your baby waking your DS either.

[IncaMama]

wow...that would be fantastic...it didn't wake him up this afternoon but i thought it was a fluke...maybe it isn't! do you cosleep with both? once i can be on a flat bed i'll have ava in a cosleeper next to me i think w/rowan btwn me and dh as usual...

[Daffodil]

wow...that would be fantastic...it didn't wake him up this afternoon but i thought it was a fluke...maybe it isn't! do you cosleep with both? once i can be on a flat bed i'll have ava in a cosleeper next to me i think w/rowan btwn me and dh as usual...
Yes, I'm cosleeping with both of them, though I really wish DD would sleep in her own bed. She has a toddler bed next to mine, and she used to at least start the night in it most of the time, but lately she just wants to sleep in my bed. It's really inconvenient, because I don't want the baby next to DD, and that means that if I want to change which side I'm lying on and move the baby so I'm still facing him, I have to move DD from one side of the bed to the other. At least she often sleeps right through that, too. The baby doesn't seem willing to sleep anywhere except right next to me; otherwise, I might try putting him in a bassinet next to the bed.

[IncaMama]

can you try a co-sleeper so it's just like an extension of the bed?

[Daffodil]

can you try a co-sleeper so it's just like an extension of the bed?
I imagine it would be hard to get close enough to him if he were in a co-sleeper. He really wants to be right next to me!

[IncaMama]

i smushed myself up against DS when he was in a cosleeper...not as easy as being in bed, but better than a bassinet imo :)

[DreamsInDigital]

Hey Michele you should change your signature!
I know how hard it is to get bed time figured out. My older two boys are now co-sleeping in my bed and the baby and I are in the guest room. It takes me so long to get them all to sleep now I start at 7:45!

[MamaTaraX]

You might be pleasantly surprised. If Rowan is a light sleeper, you might have issues, but if he's not, you are probably going to be just fine. I've heard from most people that crying babies don't tend to disturb sleeping toddlers too much. My oldest was 4.5 when his brother was born, so it was definately a little different. Good luck tooyou and if all else fails, never underestimate the power of shoving a boob in a crying baby's mouth ;)

Namaste, Tara

[IncaMama]

well we slept downstairs. HA! slept! that's a funny word for what we did. LOL she's not a great night sleeper. omg. little 10 minute spurts followed by screaming and rooting. boob fanatic!!! sooooo tired.

[allnaturalmama]

[[[[HUGS]]]]] Michele! Don't have any grand advice. Just wanted to wish you some sleep, and to remind you to give yourself time to find solutions to your new dilemmas as mom of 2. It will get better, I promise!

[marisa]

Aww, :hug Michele, that's how Noel was after he was born. I think it's a second child syndrome!

[MistyB]

Alec co clept until baby was born..now on a crib mattress right next to my bed.

[spiralmg]

michelle, i was so curoius to r4ead this thread because we are dealing with similar bed issues. mom is here and keep telling me ad nauseum that ds should be in his own bed which does not help...anyway after the first night we were all in the same bed again. ds is now sleeping on the other side of dh, kali is on the othr side of me...so it goes like this

kali - me - dh - ds

i switch her to my other side if needed. if ds is not right next to me, it takes care of the nursing problem a bit. but i think he is sad about not being next to me. when she needs to really nurse i've been taking her to the recliner inthe other room and dozing there.

we don't have the crying problem though, you have my total sympathy on that...