Irritated by baby story/bringing home baby [Archive]

ChattyCat

01-03-2006, 01:59 PM

It really upsets me, when people don't even try.

I can sort of understand not bfing, when it hurts, and it's hard in the beginning. Our society doesn't exactly encourage or help a woman to bf. I think it sucks, but that's the world in which we live.

But, when I watch a baby rooting around for a boob, and the mom won't even try to bf in the hospital, that's what irritates me.

What can you do? :shrug

NurseLaurie

01-03-2006, 01:59 PM

I had to stop watching that show. Even as a student nurse, I was so bothered by so many women and their choices. Epidurals weren't even given a 2nd thought, just assumed "natural". I actually heard a woman on there say that even thought she took IV pain meds she considered her birth natural because she didn't have an epidural. Every once in a while there is a really great one. I saw one mom who was very natural. She birthed in a birthing center (or maybe it WAS at home) with a really great midwife and doula. Certainly the exception to the rule. Sadly though, in a hospital setting, that breastfeeding rate isn't too far off. Of my 6 girlfriends who are moms, only one was given successful breastfeeding advise in the hospital and continued to breastfeed (although only for 4 months) at home.

UCmamaToMany

01-03-2006, 02:26 PM

I have to stay away from those shows too. Some of the bringing home baby episodes bother me more when I see the stress the extended family actually puts on the new family and I see that attributing to the lack of encouragement and lack of trying to BF as well. Too many of these new moms feel over stressed with so much "family" in their house and they end up causing problems that they don't even realize.

New mom wants to entertain and be with family but at the same time gandpa in the corner is saying "get the bottle" instead of "go feed that baby". My MIL comes and visits too early too and I hate it. the stress is too much sometimes. It may be 3-4 weeks after the birth but it's still very stressful!

strawberryprincess

01-03-2006, 02:30 PM

i watch these shows like a car accident...i just can't turn away, even when the sight is horrible...

i agree, i have seen some really lovely episodes, with natural hosipital/homebirth and bfing. however, the majority are of women moaning about "how awful" the pain is...and how any women who would do this naturally is "crazy" and then they reach for a bottle after the baby is all washed up and "ready" to be held. :irked:

dh keeps telling me to stop watching cuz i just get riled up. i certainly don't watch as often as i used to...not enough time.

on the discovery health channel, there is a fairly new show called "house of babies" filmed at a birthing center in miami...nearly all the births are waterbirths and they show many of the mother's nursing. however, the head midwife is really grating...pushy, and bossy. but i think that's because she believes so passionately in natural childbirth.

NYCVeg

01-03-2006, 02:49 PM

I watched these shows all the times before I became pregnant, but I just can't anymore. High blood pressure isn't good for pregnant ladies! :lol The percentage of births that end up in c-sections (often for no apparent reason) is so depressing. They make it look like getting Pitocin and an epidural is not only normal, but practically necessary in order for a baby to be born.

I don't like House of Babies, either. I also find the head midwife really grating and aggressive, but there are other things that bug me more--like the episode where she pierced a newborn's ears. :(

djinneyah

01-03-2006, 03:15 PM

i've been banned from watching these shows, especially while i'm pregnant...i get violent. screaming at the tv isn't enough. i start chucking things at it! :lol

Sadiebug

01-03-2006, 03:26 PM

I like 'Baby Story' only because i like to see what choices moms make during labor and birth. The show that gets me is 'Bringing Home Baby' when the mother says she's giving her brand new baby formula because her 'real' milk hasn't come in and she doesn't want him/her to starve!!! I know all those women on that show are new and mostly like don't get a lot of help with BF, but they always say they've read a lot of books before the baby was born. If they truly had than they would read that colustrom(sp?) is full of nutrition and is more than good enough until your milk supply flows.
I know a lot of first time moms to be watch these shows and think they will have to stock up on formula because their baby will starve before their milk comes in. When they do that and the baby deosn't want to nurse because its easier for a bottle the mother will just say that the baby just won't take to the breast when that didn't have to be the case at all!!!!
Sorry that part just really makes me mad. :angry

UCmamaToMany

01-03-2006, 03:36 PM

I will say I did see one great success story in the BF department of the BHB show. I admired her determination, she pumped and tried BF at each session and only gave EBM and when they returned 3 months later the baby was fully breastfed so it can work for some but the lack of knowledge in information is sad.

It's got to be extremely tough to bring baby home to a house full of family and then a camera crew too and try and BF and be relaxed as well. :(

busybusymomma

01-03-2006, 03:49 PM

From all the rants I've read about these shows, I think it's a good thing we don't have cable/satellite. I'd probably watch it like a train wreck and then get all riled.

And I have my BP under control using calcium and garlic and don't wanna ruin that! :lol

babydoll

01-03-2006, 04:14 PM

People are ignorant about breastfeeding. I don't think 36 hours is even trying at all. If you give up in that time period you weren't into it in the first place. If people were more educated BEFORE they had the baby about what is going to happen in the first few days and what is normal - maybe we would have more bfing moms. I feel sorry for their babies. Society makes it too easy NOT to breastfeed. I personally would be embarassed to feed my baby a bottle in public. The only bottles my babe got were EBM and not very often.

Nanners

01-03-2006, 04:21 PM

I've just stopped watching. Bad for my blood pressure!

busybusymomma

01-03-2006, 04:26 PM

Well, a lot of people I know quit before they even left the hospital- like day 1 or day 2 after baby is born. :bawl

RImomma

01-03-2006, 04:33 PM

I watch the shows because I like to see the babies. I do agree that so many of the mom's quit bf after a day or two. I didn't receive very good care at the hospital regarding bf, but I was still able to bf my son fine. I think the first month is really the most difficult. I'm hoping the experience I gained with my first son will help me with my second son. I keep having dreams that bf dosen't work out for me. I keep dreaming my milk never comes in or that I'm not able to try bf for 2 weeks...I hope they are just dreams.

peypeymama

01-03-2006, 04:44 PM

I can't imagine trying to "learn how" breastfeed in front of a camera-person. I was crying, the baby was crying, my bbs where hanging out. I think these moms have too much going on around them to sit down and focus on the task at hand.

That said... I also think that either the show or the hospital supplies them with the formula, tempting them to take the easy road to calm the situation. If you don't have any formula in the house, you are gonna figure how to feed your baby!

mamacatsbaby

01-03-2006, 07:23 PM

I try not to watch either of these shows but it's so true about it being like some gory scene that you can't turn away from. I just want to see the babies too! :) I tend to flip it off and turn it back at the end so I can see the little one. More oft than not I'm :shake , :tsk and :cuss at the TV. :shy On a thread in another forum around MDC somewhere I thought a poster had a pretty good analogy. That having your blood boil from watching A Baby Story is kind of like a sports fan getting all riled up at a game or something! (To paraphrase. :p ) Every blue moon they'll have one on that's pretty good. Like the other day on ABS mama had a :aqua: , wasn't flipping out, BF, belly-dancing, had a doula and MW, there was a Mother Blessing, I'm pretty sure it was called, that almost had me in tears, etc. And BHB had one where the mama didn't even think she could have babies b/c of multiple sclerosis I believe, and she BF and everything while in all this pain. It was breaking my heart. So every once in a while they'll do a show that's not totally whacked out but these are so few and far between. Oxygen used to have one that was more diverse and I liked it way better. But then they disappeared it! :irked: And now I can't remeber the name. :duh

Throkmorton

01-03-2006, 07:30 PM

I've been banned from watching. It just makes me mad.

Luckily, there is Life's Baby Stories on the Life Network in Canada, which is awesome.

mamacatsbaby

01-03-2006, 07:47 PM

:idea

Birth Stories! I'm pretty sure that was the name of it! :raz

birthdancedoula

01-03-2006, 08:04 PM

The show that gets me is 'Bringing Home Baby' when the mother says she's giving her brand new baby formula because her 'real' milk hasn't come in and she doesn't want him/her to starve!!!

Not a May mama but I just wanted to say that this really irks me, too. Sadly a lot of moms feel they're "starving" their babies...I saw it a lot during my L&D clinical rotation. You could talk till you were blue in the face about colostrum but they still had this idea that there was nothing there for the first 3 or 4 days.

Oh, I really love the one episode of BBH where the mom (who was bf) said that they had to stop bf and give the baby formula b/c she was jaundiced :scratch Its really sad that mamas are still given old, outdated, non-evidenced based info.

babydoll

01-03-2006, 10:04 PM

"Not a May mama but I just wanted to say that this really irks me, too. Sadly a lot of moms feel they're "starving" their babies...I saw it a lot during my L&D clinical rotation. You could talk till you were blue in the face about colostrum but they still had this idea that there was nothing there for the first 3 or 4 days"

I know I know. My friend who is ff and did not try to bf was saying how hungry her baby would be if she had nursed because he is drinking so much formula blah blah...like you said you can talk until you are blue in the face...
now her baby is not even 4 months only and is starting solids because her baby is not satisfied with formula. I pointed out that if she had bf her baby WOULD be satisfied and that she can nurse as much as the baby wants without fearing him getting fat. I think she heard :blah :blah :blah

:irked: Oh well what can you do? :shrug

UCmamaToMany

01-03-2006, 11:41 PM

Oh, I really love the one episode of BBH where the mom (who was bf) said that they had to stop bf and give the baby formula b/c she was jaundiced :scratch Its really sad that mamas are still given old, outdated, non-evidenced based info.

I had to do this with my last one. He was born at home UC and very jaundice and had not eaten a full meal since he was born and we were going on a week like this. He always fell asleep at the breast and I was pumping like crazy and feeding EBM. His jaundice seemed to get worse rather than better and he was strictly on BM or EBM and the only information I could find to help was to give formula for 24-48 hours since the BM doesn't always help rid the baby's body of jaundice but rather recirculate it at a slower rate than the formula. Or take my baby to a doctor and get phototherapy treatment. With a UC baby though I could only imagine them making it out to be a bigger rpoblem than what it really was just to "punish" me for having him outside a hospital, yk?!

As much as I hated it I wanted and needed my baby to wake up enough to BF at the tap. I fed him formula for 24 hours and it made a huge difference and he was able to "wake up" enough to finally make good attempts at the breast. The option after that was to take him in to a doctor for phototherapy treatment and I was not ready for that yet. It was my last resort.

As much as I tried and tried through either yeast or eczema or something, nothing would get rid of whatever it was on my nipples, I tried everything from dietary changes to Rx drugs to every homeopathic suggestion I was given. In the end I was unable to BF him from the tap but still I did not give him formula again until he was 6 months old. I ended up exclusively pumping for that time.

My history with BF just is not good. Out of 5 kids I've only been able to BF 1 successfully for 13 months without a hitch. One I BF for 5-6 months but through chronic thrush and yeast problems, cracked bleeding nipples and more. That experience alone is what helped me to make the pumping decision.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/t029600.asp

Just my 2¢ :innocent :o

luckylady

01-04-2006, 07:00 AM

I don't watch the show. Everyone has already said why.

zonapellucida

01-04-2006, 07:44 AM

I don't watch this program becaue I am so fed up with the Dr's in it and they must REALLY think the public is ignoratn becasue the escuses they come up wiht for Pitocin ect are rediculous. There have been a couple decent births--au natural but to wade through all the same births over and over. BAH!

" I checked in, walked a bit got my epidural, was checked and I pushed" Yeah..

momonthebeach

01-04-2006, 09:10 AM

I get mad at Bringing Home Baby before it even starts with the little dancing bottles during the song at the beginning!!! I can't watch it!!
Katie

unalmas

01-04-2006, 10:50 AM

I actually heard a woman on there say that even thought she took IV pain meds she considered her birth natural because she didn't have an epidural...

Sadly though, in a hospital setting, that breastfeeding rate isn't too far off. Of my 6 girlfriends who are moms, only one was given successful breastfeeding advise in the hospital and continued to breastfeed (although only for 4 months) at home.

Well, what counts as a natural childbirth, then? I had a pitocin-augmented labor with a shot of Nubain toward the end but still considered it fairly natural and am very pleased with how it went, all told. It was in a highly medically managed teaching hospital in a big city and I felt lucky that I wasn't sliced open.

I have a friend who started out with a homebirth and ended up at a hospital with an epidural and considered that to be a fairly natural birth as well. I can't disagree with her. She made it the most natural experience possible, given the circumstances, and that, to me, is what a natural childbirth is about.

I breastfed for much longer than 4 months without receiving breastfeeding advice from the hospital or from my pediatrician. I just kept at it until it worked because that's what I really wanted.

Let's face it, though, lots of people don't have the same ideals, and even if they did, would cave at the first horrified "LOOK AT THAT WOMAN'S NIPPLE! That's appalling!" aimed in their direction.

Of course, I don't think that this is a normal course of events. Although I was super young and really timid, I already had earthy crunchy AP/CD/BF/co-sleeping ideals and would have moved mountains (did move mountains!) to give birth and parent the way I felt was right.

OK...I know I had a point...somewhere. :) Thanks for listening.

busybusymomma

01-04-2006, 11:31 AM

Well, it's one of those things, people have differing opinions. Some people consider it natural birth as long as baby exits via the vagina: whether the mom is awake, on ether, given drugs, numb from epidural, or perineum cut with scissors.

My first birth was induced and included a shot of Nubain and an episiotomy. My body was forced into labor, my water was broken artificially at 4cm, my pain endorphins were interrupted and my perineum was deliberately cut open. I did the best with the knowledge I had and the circumstances, but...

My second birth I went into labor naturally, my only "drugs" were endorphins and laboring in water and my perineum was not damaged by scissors. However, some might not consider my birth 100% natural since I had my midwife break my water at 9cm... and while I don't regret that decision, I bet ds would have been born in the caul if I hadn't had AROM- which would have been doubly cool since I had a waterbirth. :)

So, it's a matter of opinion.

ETA: I consider my first birth a real try at natural birth and my second birth a natural birth. :)

UCmamaToMany

01-04-2006, 12:53 PM

Well, what counts as a natural childbirth, then? I had a pitocin-augmented labor with a shot of Nubain toward the end but still considered it fairly natural and am very pleased with how it went, all told. It was in a highly medically managed teaching hospital in a big city and I felt lucky that I wasn't sliced open.

Natural in the truest sense of the word means that which is only found in nature or happens in nature or happens naturally! I have never heard of pitocin, nubain, or an epidural being available in nature - au natural!

What you had was a vaginal birth not a natural birth. There is a huge difference! Be proud that you had a vaginal delivery but by no means was it natural.

I find it insulting that it is accepted as "natural" when drugs and interventions are used. I've had both a vaginal hospital delivery and 3 natural home deliveries. I've even had a surgical hospital birth. All very different experiences in their own rights and I know which ones were true natural births and which weren't.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=natural

babydoll

01-05-2006, 01:04 AM

Natural means no intervention (no drugs no breaking of the waters, no sweeping of the membranes, and delivered vaginally) - as would happen in nature.

Natural does not JUST mean baby was delivered via the vagina.

People interchange the two, but if you had drugs you did not have a "natural" birth.

*side note - Amen for the drugs - but saying you had a natural birth when you had a ton of meds and an epidural and never felt the NATURAL pain of childbirth is like saying "yeah I breastfed" when you only did it for your hospital stay.

I ALSO find it insulting when people say they had a natural birth and what they really meant is they had lots of meds and an epidural and delivered via their vagina.

I got sliced open and will have to do it again. If you had a vaginal birth at all be happy you could...

unalmas

01-05-2006, 08:22 AM

I find it insulting that it is accepted as "natural" when drugs and interventions are used. I've had both a vaginal hospital delivery and 3 natural home deliveries. I've even had a surgical hospital birth. All very different experiences in their own rights and I know which ones were true natural births and which weren't.

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=natural

O.............K. I'm sorry to have insulted you.

I take this as an educational experience, and I will certainly not continue to view my last birth as a natural one.

busybusymomma

01-05-2006, 01:03 PM

unalmas- you're welcome to consider your birth natural if you like! :wink

I just know for me, after experiencing a different kind of birth my first birth didn't seem nearly as natural. :)

clane

01-05-2006, 01:51 PM

Not a May mama but I just wanted to say that this really irks me, too. Sadly a lot of moms feel they're "starving" their babies...I saw it a lot during my L&D clinical rotation. You could talk till you were blue in the face about colostrum but they still had this idea that there was nothing there for the first 3 or 4 days.

Oh, I really love the one episode of BBH where the mom (who was bf) said that they had to stop bf and give the baby formula b/c she was jaundiced :scratch Its really sad that mamas are still given old, outdated, non-evidenced based info.

As recently as 1998 I was told I had to bottle-feed my DS for him to recover from his jaundice. Unfortunately, we were never able to recover from 2wks of bottle feeds to establish nursing (and I tried to pump, but with the "Evil-flo" battery pump). By 2003, a different ped had me supplement DD with formula (1oz) after each feed to help her process the bilirubin. Within a couple days, we were done with that and she was my "hoover-baby" until 14mos. At this point we _know_ this babe will be jaundiced as well (blood type issues as I'm o+ and DH is a+) but we will be emotionally prepared to deal with it and not freak out.

There is much to be said about the support and information a 1st time mom is given and how easy it can be to convince a new mom to doubt her instincts and self-confidence.

Heidi Jo

01-08-2006, 10:21 AM

I was and am addicted to all baby shows I see on tv. I laugh at myself every time because I start feeling all high and mighty for birthing naturally and bfing for almost 3 years. I fully understand that it doesn't make me a better person, but hey. :o

I always think I would love to be on one of those shows to demonstrate that natural isthe norm for humans and bfing can be great! I would love to show them a fabulous homebirth (of which I have only seen 2 depicted ever :angry ).

Anyway, I try to educate anyone who seems the slightest bit interested and thats all I can do. :blah