Getting the angries out

[dotcommama]

What do you do to help your child safely express and diffuse his anger? I started another thread earlier today asking why my child is getting so angry and I got some helpful thoughts – but I was thinking it might also be helpful to get a list going of some good ideas to help our little ones “get their angries out” as my ds says.

Here are some of the things I’ve tried with ds:

Hitting pillows on his bed (not sure that this is a great suggestion b/c it still associates hitting with release of anger, but it’s way better than him hitting me or his brother).

Hammering on a pounding peg toy

Taking slow deep breathes

Using words – say, “I’m feeling angry because. . .”

I hope someone has some better ones b/c I can’t say we’ve been that successful with the above methods.

Thanks for the help!

[jtsmom]

This is an idea I got from another mom, I don't know why I didn't think of it myself. When ds is mad, I say, do you need to be alone, or do you need a big hug? It is amazing most of the time he wants a hug. I don't know if that is what you were looking for, but I am amazed at how often that calms him down, especially when he is mad at me.

[m&m]

I use different methods depending on the source of the anger, and on my daughter's mood.

* a time-in : big hug, or simply sitting beside her, and staying quiet

* labeling feelings, helping them learn the physical side to anger - ie clenching fists

* deep breathing - or count to 5

* painting, or drawing, or cutting up paper, or smashing playdough - expressing the feelings through art - even the motions and colors they choose can help get the angries out

* play pretend - with dolls or toys - role playing for little ones - re-enact the situation that caused anger

* make an object the guilty party - ie. angry/frustrated can't pull down her pants - say that those pants are held on so tight - and say let go pants, ect. silliness helps a lot

* make sure your child witnesses you dealing with your feelings - and if you usually yell, so will your child.

There are more ways I use, but each depend on specific situations. Hope these help

[jtsmom]

oooooo...

good ideas, I especially like the art one and the one about telling the pants to let go. Thank you m&m

jtsmom

[dotcommama]

Just wanted to say these are all great ideas - keep them coming!

:hippie

[bigcats]

Stomp your feet!

After the situation is difused, read a book like "When Sofie gets Angry", by Molly Bang.