This is my first night away from dd...

[bu's mama]

the stbx took dd to his parents house tonight for a sleep over & I'm doing surprisingly ok.

He wants to take her to visit his family for 4 days in February & I said I didn't think it was in dd's best interest since the longest she has been away from me is 8-10 hours (another petty issue...I took dd to visit family after Christmas. The 2 of us have done this numerous times. The night I come back he says he wants to go away now too...to visit family he hasn't seen in 2 years or talked to on the phone more than once or twice a year. Pretty much all his choice.) He said he thought about it & wanted to try this overnight. I do think it's a good compromise, though I don't think he came up with the idea, probably his mother. The frustrating part is I won't really know if she was miserable because he'll say everything was fine regardless.

Like I said, so far I'm good. I'll probably do some knitting & reading, watch a movie & go to bed (geez, I sound like an old fart!). Although, I'll let you know if I still feel like this in the morning.

[Jster]

Good luck! It can be hard in the beginning, but nice to just unwind as well. Sounds like you have a good plan! The hardest part for me is sleeping (if you co-sleep, it's just one huge empty bed!)

:hug

[bu's mama]

...The hardest part for me is sleeping (if you co-sleep, it's just one huge empty bed!)

:hug


This is what I'm a little worried about. We do co-sleep & she's really easy to sleep with (no thrashing about, etc.) around 5 am she'll half-wake & say "Mama, cuddle me please" It just melts my heart.

[MsChatsAlot]

I hope you get through the night okay. I too, find that sleeping is the hardest part.

[Slabobbin]

How old is she? Is she old enough to tell you if she was miserable.

This must be so hard mama. :hug

[meemee]

the first night my dd was away at 3 i did not sleep ONE wink. none. nada. in fact it took me awhile to enjoy teh time and not miss her. the good part is her dad and i were slowly able to do the night over with him transition. and i also knew if she was miserable he would bring her over.

my dd has been spending at least one night a week, maybe more for a few months now but i still miss her when seh is gone - even though i do what i want to do. but i still miss her like tonight.

[bu's mama]

Well I did get some sleep, albeit very restless. I do think she was ready (she's 3.5 yo) & I'm always wanting her to try new things because her personality tends to be reserved.

She may or may not tell me if she was miserable. I'm sure she had fun until the sleeping & waking up part. He's starting to turn into the Disneyland Dad...everything is great when you're with me, let's do this fun thing, but not much discipline or structure. I don't fear for her safety or anything, I just don't think he's very attuned to what's going on, what's best for her, how she's feeling, etc.

stbx is quite immature so I'm sure he got numerous comments from his family over the christmas break about "how can you let her take Hannah" "why is she taking her away from your side of the family" "you have to visit your family too" etc. and his response was me too then. Meanwhile, dd & I have travelled together about a dozen times up to 9-10 days away & this trip after christmas has been planned since the summer. He wants to visit his half-sister who he hasn't seen in over 2 years, saw 1x/year previous to that, talks to rarely, and wants me to believe that they're close & he's all about family. Sorry for the rant, but whew, it's nice to get it out!

I just try to tell myself that it's good he does want to spend time with her & have her get to know his family, but it's hard to appreciate the act when the motives suck, iykwim.

[BelovedK]

I remember the first nights w/out DC, I just paced the house not knowing what to do...Now, it is OK, I actually enjoy the time to myself, though my DC are older and i really want to foster a good relationship with their dad.

That sounds so sweet 'cuddle me mama" :throb :throb :heartbeat :heartbeat

[proud mama of 2]

:hug to you Mama. It's hard when our little ones are away from us. My DD is still so young and yet she HAS to go every other weekend. It's very hard for me but I keep very busy. I still have my DS with me (different dad) so I don't have the empty bed syndrome.

[meemee]

I just try to tell myself that it's good he does want to spend time with her & have her get to know his family, but it's hard to appreciate the act when the motives suck, iykwim.

i know EXACTLY what u mean. in our case its so he doesnt have to pay CS if we do 50/50 care. it still isnt 50/50 but i am not complaining.

but i also think he is starting to enjoy her more now that she is growing up a little and is more independent past teh baby stage. but still most of the time i feel he does it not becuase he wants to. but i am not complaining because my dd loves her time with him.