just worried..

[Avima]

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter - it was like this spark of energy..I could feel her presence - I talked to her, played music for her early on. But with this one, I don't feel that same spark, not because this is unwanted. For some reason, I'm freaking out because I don't feel the same. Ie, what if it's an unhealthy baby? what if...? blah.. My mom told me I need to quit worrying because she would know if something were wrong. Each pregnancy is different, etc, etc, and perhaps this spirit is more subtle.. or b/c it's a boy :) It took me so long to get to the place where I was willing to take a chance getting pregnant, I was finally ready after almost 4 years.. so I dunno if this is my nerves. This just seems to unreal. I mean, the symptoms are still here..
Could this just be me looking for things to worry about, hormones in overdrive? I had this weird dream last night that someone I knew was pregnant and had a baby boy that died :( My dreams have been really vivid lately. Please say this isn't me...
ugh.. I just want to believe that everything is OK.

Now that you guys probably think I'm a freak...

[peilover010202]

Jumping in from August...

I really can't believe I am even going to write this out for fear of jinxing myself, but I've had many thoughts similar to yours.

I felt so connected immediately to ds, so completely in love the minute I knew. But, this time has been different. After spotting throughout the entire 2WW, I have been worried throughout the entire pregnancy thus far. At almost 11 weeks, I have had an u/s at 7.5 weeks which confirmed a heart beat. That gave me peace for a couple of weeks.

Now, I'm worried again. Waiting for my appt next Monday so that hopefully we can hear the heartbeat again.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not connected because I'm so extremely busy with a toddler, working full-time, plus tending to my mother after surgery. Maybe I haven't allowed myself to open up to this babe like before, when all my attention was focused on my pregnancy and a new babe?

You are not alone...

[mom2mimi]

I feel very similar. I was very excited with my first, well because it was my first and all new. And then it took us two years to get pregnant with our son so when it finally happened we were very excited. And this one, while I am totally excited it seems like a lot of my family isn't and everyone looks at me like I'm nuts for wanting three kids. And this was kind of an oops, I was trying to practice NFP but got lazy and preoccupied with the holidays. I can't get rid of one thought that keeps running through my head...I have a girl and a boy, my last pregnancy was absolutely perfect, the birth was absolutely perfect, my son is absolutely perfect, now I am tempting fate and something will go wrong. It doesn't help that I have the BP issues, either. You are definitely not alone!

[peilover010202]

Julie, I feel the same way! My ds is perfect is every way imaginable (okay, I'm biased :lol ). But really, he was a great baby - very easy. Now, as a toddler, is has such a great personality, easy-going, happy kid. I also feel like I'm tempting fate. How can I hope to be blessed with another child so perfect for us as a family?

But, then I start thinking about how we parent our children. Surely, part of their demeanor and personality comes from their parents and the way they are parented? That makes sense too!

And, I wanted to add - having 3 kids will be amazing for you! I'm sure our families will react similarly to yours when we have a 3rd. Esp since Chris is an only child. My MIL was surprised we wanted more than one :) Her comment "I don't know how you can love a 2nd the way you love a 1st child." My dh's explanation, "mom the love isn't split, it's multiplied." :throb