breastmilk foreplay

[simpatico_limbo]

Since the birth of dd the breasts have been "off-limits" for sexual adventures. Ouch! and not at all fun! The other day we were intimate and he kept wanting to fondle and touch them. They were slightly engorged so I asked him to help me out, to take a drink. It was wonderful! I think it freaked him out, but it felt good! Quite different from my dd's feeding. I felt like I was nourishing him. Anyway, it made my breasts feel sexy. I asked him if it tasted good!! So I guess right now there is no "messing around" with these boobs. They have one job and one job only. TO FEED!!!! Utterly wonderful. HA! Don't tell my dd though, she would probaly be quite offended that someones been drinking from her boob.

[Chi-Chi Mama]

can't really answer the poll I don't think - dh won't try ;)

i'd let him, but he says he's tasted my expressed b-milk before giving the bottle to dd to make sure the temp was right, and isn't interested in trying more

I did make him lay down and squirted some in his eye once when he was getting an eye infection (but that's definitely not sexual-related, so doens't answer your question ;)

[Faith]

I was talking to a mom I just met once in McD's playland (loooong winters here!!) and she was so glad to have found me! I don't think she had ever seen another woman nurse before! Anyway, it turned into one of those things where she poured her heart out to me about why she no longer nursed. Her reason was~ her husband liked it a little too much, in her opinion. Whenever the baby was asleep or whatever, he wanted his turn, and it really turned him on. I couldn't believe she trusted me enough to tell me all about it, just beacuse I was BFing, but I hope I helped her out a little. (I am a LLLLeader.)

As for my dh, he is kind of neutral to the whole situation, doesn't seem to care either way. I kind of think, he is there anyway, at least if he gets some it would make up for all he didn't get as a baby. It has to be good for him too, right? (OT~ I wonder if he got sick, would he get the antibodies and get better faster? Would it make him less likely to get cancer, etc? Hmmm...)

[Faith]

Oh, wow, I just remembered this. I thought it would apply here, but it does have a gross-out factor. My friends husband was always getting invited to go to the "nudey bar" after work with the guys, and finally they insisted because this one stripper was so awesome, etc. So, he had to ask what was so special about her. They said she would squirt her milk in their mouths and, for a price, would fill them up a shot glass! My jaw dropped when I heard that! Obviously this is not a place concerned about health codes! Where is her baby?! But I have since been told there are pornos devoted entirely to this subject, so there should be some very happy husbands out there in MDC homes!

[Chi-Chi Mama]

:gross

[mrzmeg]

There were a few times after my milk came in when I was really engorged, ds was asleep, and my pump didn't work well. So, dh helped me out ;) . It was really nice! Felt my nicer than when ds nurses, lol.
DH has a theory that obsession with breasts is caused not only by societal "brainwashing", but also by early weaning. Seems to make sense to me! That might explain the whole stripper/porn issue.

[lilyka]

My friend an I were tossing the idea around about selling our milk one day and she mentioned there are people with sick fettishes that will pay good money for BM. Pervs! It is one thing if it is your partner but strangers? There was no amount of money they could have paid me.

[Bladestar5]

I think I will go try it out LOL !!! Pardon the doctor inside of me(I would like to be one someday) for reminding everyone to just make sure your dh or partner does not have a coldsore when they nurse, because you can supposedly get them on your nipples, which gives them to the baby....but I am sure you already knew that:D

Off to nurse DH LOLOLOLOL:D :D :D

[StarMama]

Ok I haven't voted in the poll, because I haven't lactated yet (since I'm currently pregnant with our first...), but my Dh *always* makes comments about when I am breastfeeding that he'll be fighting for time at the breast! :LOL He *knows* he won't be getting much boob time (they are already super sensitive as is), but I'm sure he will be very happy and aroused when he does get a chance to drink straight from the tap! :rotflmao :bgbounce

[Viola]

board glitch

[Viola]

For a good while after giving birth, I didn't want my breasts touched during sex. Once my breasts were back to normal size, more or less, and didn't leak, I did like when dh played with my nipples as they were actually sensitive. Before giving birth, they weren't sensitive at all and my breasts never seemed like such an erogenous zone to me.

My daughter has recently weaned, but I still don't like when dh sucks on them. The last time he tried was after my daughter had nursed, which was about 2 weeks ago, and maybe it was all too close together that night. But for me, that sucking feeling reminds me too much of her doing it. She would sometimes do goofy stuff like tickle me with her tongue or bite down a little, and I always put a stop to that because I didn't like the playing aspect connected with nursing. Fortunately dh isn't turned on by the milk, and would not want to try it, so I'm not cutting him off from anything he wants. In general he is a pretty squeamish guy.

I did let a friend try some of my breastmilk from a bottle when he was visiting, and I've sucked it out of my own breast myself, trying to free up a plugged duct.

[chellemarie]

I've always felt a bit weird when I tell women on msg boards to let hubby help with a plugged duct or engorged breasts. But DH can really be helpful and it's so much easier than dealing with a pump.

We were lying in bed the other night and I said, "just think, in another week or so you'll have porno boobs to look at". This phrase might not mean anything to anyone who's not had engorged breasts, but you'll see what I mean soon enough.

"How can you tell those are fake boobs?"
"They look engorged...and I KNOW she didn't just have a baby five days ago."

[StarMama]

just think, in another week or so you'll have porno boobs to look at

Oh boy thats it, now I *know* I'm gonna have to carry around a flyswatter to keep DH off of me when the babe comes! :LOL :LOL :LOL

[stormborn]

My dh tried it from the tap, but he dosen't suck "right", so no milk! He has had it from a bottle because I can't stand to see it wasted so if it's not fresh enough for dd -dh gets it!

:rotflmao at porno boobs! I went from no breasts to a 40D Dh looked at them one night in bed and said " I feel like I'm cheating on you with some big breasted hussy" It's been 2 yrs now and he still looks at them in shock.:eek

[simpatico_limbo]

hussy is a hillarous word!
Milk flowing from my body is amazing. When dd was born and she latched on, i felt intense connection. Milk is liqiud love. I cannot imagine cutting short my time feeding my baby from the breast. I want it to last as long as she does.
I don't mean to mesh sexuality and breastmilk. Most people do and womyn feel self concious to feed publicly. Perhaps we all ( in western culture) have been weaned to early and have improper associations with feeding our children from the breast. We have to unlearn to learn.
My dp totally supports advocating proper education about the importance of mama milk and providing it basicallt, as long as possible. He does not belittle the importance of lacating by partaking. He only enhances our sexuality by including me as a mother and a partner.
That said, let it flow sisters!! I will cheer you on as you love your baby with liquid love!!!

[Mcaws]

Man! my dh would love you all to change my feelings!!! I guess I'm the only "no" response to write...well, I have always felt he'd be taking "from the baby" and felt it a grateful break in his "hands on" needs. He is willing to accomodate me and not touch them.

Our sexual history has not been great though in the past, so that kind of explains why I don't want sex much let alone breast time...I could not imagine AT ALL allowing him to drink from them!!!

[GiraffeLovin'Mama]

I am where Mcaws is.

This is my 3rd nursling and besides a little touching, my boobs are off limits.......

[oceansmama]

Funny, I just mentioned it to my boyfriend and he looked at me like "what?" But he has taken a suck here and there! lol...
Maize
Vincent 9/8/02
Ocean 11/24/96

[Beth-TX]

I know a woman who ran out of soy milk one morning and put breastmilk in her boyfriend's coffee instead. He didn't realize what it was but he did comment on the fact that it seemed creamier than usual.

peace, Beth

[merpk]

No.

Can't stand to have them touched when I'm not nursing. Really. It's like a gut reaction. Have spent 5 years constantly nursing, three-plus of those years tandem nursing ... really, they deserve "alone time."

Not like they get it ... and not like DH "gets" it, either (yes, that's a pun) ... :(

... I really feel awful about feeling this way, too. But it is what it is.

- Amy

[LunaMom]

Reading some of your posts makes me uncomfortable! I'm totally not condemning anyone here, but I would never be comfortable with dh "nursing" - it would feel too much like a sexual act (and from some posts here, unless I misunderstood, it is sexual when your husbands do this), and it would sort of blur the boundaries between sex and nursing, does that make sense?

I remember one time dh and I were having sex and dd woke up to nurse, and nursing her two seconds after his mouth was in the exact same place...well, it just felt a little weird. It was like I didn't have enough time to let my body and brain transition from sex to nursing.

Just my own personal feelings!

[StarMama]

As I explained in my previous post my Dh is thinking the whole milking thing is awesome, and will most likely be pawing me until I'm forced to arm myself with a flyswatter.... I'm betting he is not going to be happy at all with how little breast time he will get.

See my breasts aren't even sexual to me *now* pre having a baby to nurse. Well sure, in a sexy outfit the curves are attractive and sexy... but as far as touching I'm not into it at all. He tries, I bat him away, or cover myself with the blanket. I think part of it is because I ALWAYS have to tell him to be gentle. And if he remember to be gentle he blows on them after he's done and I HATE them being cold. Yeah I know, sounds like my Dh is a lout, but really he just can NOT remember...

I truly hope learning to nurse a baby isn't a horrible time for me, because my nipples are SO sensitive as it is right now.

[veganmamma]

My nipples were SO sensitive before I nursed. I HATED having them touched ata ll. It was realy irritating. Now they can be errogenous. I thought I would be really sensitive to nursing, but I wasn't, and after a few weeks, (I have to say this in a nursing forum, becvause others might take it sexually, but its not,) it fellt good. Good like a massage, not good like a blow job. Anyway, now when dp comes at them, it doesn't freak me out. He has sucked a bit of milk out of them, and it did feel good, but not sexual. It feels weird when i suck milk out myself. I don't expect it to be so warm. Dunno why. DP likes expressed milk, he says it's really sweet and creamy. I do have particularly creamy milk. I've never understood all the books that say it looks like skim. It always looked thick and it's fatty. Kinda greasy on my breast pump. Anyway, i don't see any reason it shouldn't be sexual for a SO to suck milk out. THere is a circle in reproduction and I believe it is interchangeable in some ways. Breast are both sexual and nurturing. Just because it feels good when SO does it doesn't mean you will have sexual feelings when your child does it. SO wil always think your breasts are sexual, and so will you. I believe mothering is a sensual art, and SO may find it sexy in some ways. There is obviously a line, and I understand the fear of crossing it, but I try not to be too uptight. I am very protective of dd and also very paranoid, since I was sexually abused myself, but boobs have a few functions and I try not to repress mine.
Lauren

[Leslie in MD]

Very well-said VeganMama!
Leslie in MD

[candiland]

I can't vote, because he wouldn't partake in breastmilk if somebody paid him! LOL He hates milk, in general.
He used to be vegan.

[Alenushka]

My mother, in Russia, sold her milk and fed a puppu 9with a bottle ) with her milk, on top of me. she made more money than my dad. When I was pregnant I did ask her about sex and nursing and she told me this "we did it a lot and you dad love when milk squirted" And I asked "was it gorss, kind of " and she said "NO, it was playful"
I leaked milk a little during sex sometime and I only wnated to be tounched very gentely on my boobd, but it all fewlt good

[MelMel]

I feel powerful as a woman, as some have sorta said, to be able to nurture and gratify my childs hunger as well as my husbands desire with these 2 lil things...:wink

that said, it really sucks that when my boobs looked the most attractive to dh (porn star engorged) they felt like they were being squeezed through a wood chipper, so he couldnt even 'enjoy' them in their big glory...ugh

:sinister :sinister :sinister :sinister

[laf369]

My mom always talked about the special nursing relationship between mom and baby. Before I had a baby of my own, I always thought BF was all about the bond and immunities, I never had a complete understanding of what nursing would bring to my life. Anyway, after DS was born I saw my mother nearly every day. She would always look over my shoulder when I nursed DS and she would just tell me how nursing was her most favorite aspect of mothering. After the initial engorgement went away and I experienced let-down, I told her Mom how tingly it was. It was then that she shared with me her nursing experienced sometimes bordered on erotic, espeically the let-down sensation. I was sorta weirded out by it at first but after we discussed it I concluded that mothering brings about the most intense feelings a woman can ever have and certainly those feelings will go beyond our convenient categories and compartments. Please don't take my words the wrong way. There are certainly inappropriate feelings and behaviors, I'm just saying that it is perfectly okay to enjoy our breasts' dual roles. Non-nursing moms can and do enjoy their breasts, why should it be any different for nursing mamas? Boobs are boobs are boobs, they're for the nourishment of babies, whether we breastfeed or not.

Anyway, when DH and I are gettin' our groove on, I often become engorged. There is no way I'm going to wake my sleeping baby, so DH is in charge drainin' the ladies. Know what I'm sayin'?

OT: During those first weeks while DS and I were trying to establish our relationship and correct a poor latch, my mom helped me a great deal. I realized then that the bond between mom and nursling extends well beyond weaning. My mom helped her baby nurse a baby. How sweet is that?

[Alenushka]

My mother helped me to nurse my baby too. There is a very special connection, definetely. When i nursed, I felt this feeling of euphora and glow, sort of like one feels after orgasm. It was like a joggers high kind of felling . I think evolutions wnated it this way. I had a lot of problems with nursing at first, sore nipples and mastitis etc, it was nice to have this cklam washover me.

[WickidaWitch]

Originally posted by LaurelArmar
OT: My mom helped her baby nurse a baby. How sweet is that?
Sounds like a very loving mother!:love

[LunaMom]

Originally posted by candiland
I can't vote, because he wouldn't partake in breastmilk if somebody paid him! LOL He hates milk, in general.
He used to be vegan.

Candiland, your post struck me as funny - I don't know if you intended it that way, but I never considered that breastmilk would be a no-no for a vegan! I guess it makes sense - doesn't a vegan eat only plant products and nothing that comes from an animal at all? And technically people are animals!

[veganmamma]

Vegans don't eat any non-human animal products.

[simpatico_limbo]

My mother quietly watched as Kaya and I learned bfing. Since I am raising dd with the attachment parenting philosophy, her motherly advice just doesn't hold any wieght to where I am at. But, my mother and I do see eye to eye on matters of the breast and feeding. She happily bfed all three of us. When I told her my nipples were cracked, dry and bleeding in the first week of nursing, she stepped in and helped us find correct positioning. Thanks MOM!
Since I had an unwanted cesarean, I had difficulty with bfing. I totally thought I would just "know" how to feed. I never thought my mother would give me advice I could use. It seems my generation is going back to the roots of loving parenthood, it is quite different to what she was advised to do.
The sad part is, my grandmother rarely has any tangible advice. Her generation was told even worse advice. She didn't even attempt to bf her 5 children. She could not understand why I was "planning" a HB. She told me to find a jewish doctor because they never allowed their womyn to feel any pain during birth. I didn't go into my reasoning of wanting a spiritual birth. I know that she has difficulty understanding our ap ways. When dd is hungry she stares at me in horror when I feed in front of the whole family. It is one of those things that I have learned to shake off. Kaya is too precious for me to second guess or even give a hoot about the outside world whilst I am nursing.
I have a whole new understanding towards native/tribal mothers who didn't cover their breasts-ever. They proudly had bare chests because of the importance of nursing. To them, the breasts fed baby first and where sexual last.
hmmm. i wonder if the breasts are sexual at all in tribal communities, or is it something that has come about through modesty and social conditioning?
If womyn bore their breasts all the time (of coarse, I'd be sagging all over-yuck!)
would society still plant a sexual stigma on them?? Then I think, why does it feel so wonderful to have our breasts "paid attention" to and caressed, kissed? Why is it an errogenous area and a nursing area??? Talk about multi-tasking!! being a mother is incredible!

[chellemarie]

"I believe mothering is a sensual art, and SO may find it sexy in some ways."

Ditto.

I have to add, I was terribly disappointed that my breasts didn't let down and squirt during orgasm like the books said they would. I thought it'd be cool...like fireworks. At best, they just kind of drip. Blah.

Lisa_Lynn...during pregnancy, I thought I'd scream if anything came near my nipples. I had some mega-hypersensitivity. I was incredibly concerned about nursing...but it wasn't a problem at all. Don't fret about it. :) I'm sure you'll be just fine.

[Chelly2003]

Originally posted by chellemarie
[BI have to add, I was terribly disappointed that my breasts didn't let down and squirt during orgasm like the books said they would. I thought it'd be cool...like fireworks. [/B]

:bgbounce :LOL :bgbounce :LOL :bgbounce

Sorry - that just cracked me up!!

[rwikene]

DH would be perfectly happy if he could nurse! But I say no way!!! I too have a hard time with the lines blurred between sex and nurture.

I think for me, the problem is that I was molested by my step-dad and he was always making comments on my breasts, and when he molested me that was one of the places he would love to touch.

Pre baby I was ok with DH finding my breasts sexual, they were a big part of our foreplay, but now if he comes near them he's likely to lose a limb!

On the very few occassions that he has gotten the chance to "play" he has tasted milk, he likes it and would love to have more, maybe I'll pump for him:wink Nah, he'd rather have it fresh from the source, that's half the fun for him.

I also agree, that if I've nursed DD in the last hour or so, DH better just stay away!

[Cinder]

Originally posted by stormborn
My dh tried it from the tap, but he dosen't suck "right", so no milk!

Same here. He did try it out of a bottle once and he has the same opinion as me, it is sickeningly sweet. blech.

[Viola]

Vegans don't eat any non-human animal products.


I wouldn't think they'd eat human animal products either. :)

Sorry, I've got that poor pygmy story in my mind.

[veganmamma]

BM is a human animal product and my *vegan* dd LOVES it!

[tarablesue]

because my DH won't even try. :( I ve tried to tell him he probably won't do it right to get any milk,but he still won't do it. He says having a shower in my breastmilkwhile "in the act" is all the milk he needs :LOL

[girlfactory]

Unfortunately for dh, he doesn't get any playtime with "the girls" while I'm still nursing. I sometimes leave my nursing bra on during sex just because I would freak out if I leaked onto him. I guess that makes me a super prude? :confused:

[dandelions2]

Well, I said yes in the poll cause he did try it, but he immediately ceased. He said it tasted like blood and it made him feel sick. That was his first time ever tasting breastmilk cause his mom never even tried to bf him. Also, breasts used to be a big part of foreplay before dd was born, but he now says they are off limits. He feels that his daughter needs them and that they are no longer for him. I tried to talk to him about it, but it's just the way he feels. Oh, well. So much for that.

Patti

[CherP]

I voted No.

DH has no interest in trying my bmilk. I too wear my nursing bra during our intimate times.
It the pitts! Wearing an unflattering nursing bra when you're trying (and hoping) you're sexy doesn't help much.
DH until recently thought I was still "squirting" all over the place. DS is now 8 mons and I only seem to leak if one side is fairly full. I'm afraid what might happen if I don't wear my bra during lovemaking, it'd kinda spoil the mood if I suddenly start to leak all over.
My breasts are my most erogenous zone! (besides "down below") so having them avoided is a bummer. I hope to continue BF until baby #2 to it may be a while before DH can lay claim to them again. :(

[rwikene]

well, my opinion changed since my last post...thougt I'd update:

My libido came back :banana so now my breasts are not as off limits as before. DH is in heaven when I'm in the mood now. I can easily switch from mommy mode to wife mode now, so the transition of being a nurturer and a sexual being is easier for me.

DH has had the chance to "nurse" to try to get milk, he got some (not a lot) and loved it! Said it made him sleepy though :LOL

[Quirky]

I don't know if it was cause or consequence, but my answer changed as well! When I *finally* agreed to let dh try a little milk from the tap, blammo! First time I felt any desire since ds was born.

Although dh got milk, it was totally different from nursing, although it did feel very nurturing.

Sorry if TMI, but just wanted to recommend trying it once if you haven't already to see if maybe the reality is different from the perception, like it was for me!

[rwikene]

Originally posted by Jane
it was totally different from nursing, although it did feel very nurturing.

that was my experience too

[Jemper]

Ironic that I would see this topic, I just finished reading LLL's book, The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding , and they touch on this very subject.

Breastfeeding is intended to be a pleasurable experience for a mother. A woman who breastfeeds with pride and satisfaction is aware that breastfeeding is a sensual experience. She also knows that this is a perfectly healthy and normal aspect of her sexuality. (Chptr 19, page 377)
Some of the other replies have touched on this. I agree that there is a line between appropriate & inappropriate behavior, but I think American society has made that line much broader than it needs to be. I don't see anything wrong with sharing my body with my husband, I know there's plenty of milk to go around!

As the last few posts attest, the actual experience might be very different that what you might think it would be. :p So, if you are willing, give it a try. You might be pleasantly surprised.