Do you ever get worried (suspicious posts on MDC)...

[Periwinkle]

Every so often I read a post or a thread started invariably by a very new member. Also invariably the post has to do with an "innocent" question about a child's genitals or early development. The kind of thing that, if phrased maybe slightly differently or if asked by someone with even a few more posts under their belt, I might not even pay any attention to. After all, we as parents have all kinds of questions, and these sorts naturally come up. But maybe it's the fact that it's someone's very first (or few) post or that the way they are written sometimes sets off my internal alarm bell.

Also, every once in a while, I notice a thread posted genuinely by an MDC member I know or just one who's been here a little while, for example, a thread about a child touching themself, being naked around or taking baths with older children, even breastfeeding questions.... so they basically run the gamut and are reasonable things to ask certainly. But here's the thing that worries me: there are invariably like 5 replies and 400 (or more) views to the thread, which just seems weird. And once again the hair on the back of my neck stands up, like, OMG someone(s) actually getting off on this, telling all their friends to come here and read or something.

There are currently two active threads that I'm aware of that meet these descriptions, where I am very VERY suspicious that the OP is a sicko. And it makes me want to throw up because I just have that 6th sense that's something amiss. I've been a member for long enough to see these threads come and go, but with the increasing popularization of MDC, I feel like I run into them more often.

What do you all think? Is there ANYTHING we can do about this? I for one have stopped posting photos, and I've gone back over my posts and edited out names, identifying info about where we live, etc. etc. I just have the feeling that there are fairly frequent and fairly regular visitors on this site who have ulterior motives for being here. :(

Could the rules for joining be changed, or new members would be monitored for the first 3 posts or something, or you could only see the threads here if you were a member. Disclaimer: I haven't thought any of this through yet as to pros/cons, just throwing out ideas.

[boingo82]

I know I have seen some very suspicious posts in both Diapering and CAC.
I think it's inevitable. A lot of people, for whatever reason, are attracted to children. Fortunately many of them do not act on that attraction.
I honestly don't think there is any way to keep them out of this site. If they really wanted to they could make up an alter-ego as a mama with kids and post here for a long time. This is the internet and we don't *really* know who anyone is. There are probably a lot of people here who mostly post the truth but make up elaborate stories for attention. :shrug

[mrzmeg]

I've thought about that, too. In particular, a couple of years ago a 'new member' "innocently" mentioned giving her ds' penis a "little kiss". It took a few posts for people to catch it, but once they started talking about how that was inappropriate, the 'member' disappeared.

But, I have to say...
But here's the thing that worries me: there are invariably like 5 replies and 400 (or more) views to the thread, which just seems weird.
My take on this is different than yours. I know that I often look at those kind of threads and it is because I am curious. I think that for borderline taboo subjects, a lot of people are curious and have questions themselves but do not have anything to add, or would be embarrassed to post, etc. I don't think it necessarily means that the viewers are "getting off" on the subject.

[alaskanteach]

If you look at the list of usernames for MDC there are (were at least) some there that were questionable in nature... I asked one of the mods to look at it, I don't know if they did.. they all had "dirty" type usernames and very little posts... I don't know why their usernames just couldn't be eliminated...

[organicmommy]

Well this is a thread I would have normally not responded to just because I don't really have anything to add and I don't usually post "Ya that"
But it does bother me all the same.
I really hate the ones in the Diapering Activism area by people that were in the diaper fetish sites.

I do know that I have had a couple times that I didn't post the questions I have had because I don't want anyone to question my intention.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

I was just thinking about this today, not referring to any specific thread, but sometimes I think I am too inocent about the things I say or let out, like names of children and family members. And now that I think of it, I'm off to change my sig. Will that change go back through all my posts?

[Periwinkle]

Oh yeah, I forgot all about the Diapering threads. When I used to cd the twins I was just horrified by some of them. Then there was that whole nightmare where mamas' photos of precious babies were on the internet on pedophile sites. :crying

[mrzmeg]

And now that I think of it, I'm off to change my sig. Will that change go back through all my posts?
Yes, on MDC...but search engine caches will still have the old one saved.

[curlyfry]

I renamed the thread title 10 times. Not sure if this is what I'm trying to say or not. Anyway...




Could you change it again??? I feel like if there are any here, you're just calling their attention. Maybe something like, "Do you ever get worried..."

Just my .02

[beansavi]

Periwinkle, thank you so much for this thread.

I, too, have brought this up, and it is a very smart idea to look at the number of posts by certain people when certain topics are brought up.

I think we also need to be aware that this forum is accesible to anyone and something called Motheringdotcommune is more likely than not frequented by perverts (IMO).

We need to be powerful, smart, and yet still free with our thoughts and interactions.

I just get worried when people post pictures and say what town they are in and make playdates with times and locations. PM that stuff and only if you know the person.

But most importantly, we cannot be paralyzed----just wise!!!

[MelanieMC]

Periwinkle - I've noticed this too. I've especially seen this in the life with a babe forum. I always question it a little when I see a sexually charged thread that is started by a very new member. I don't know what can be done. :shrug If you think about it, we don't know who's here or on any other boards we visit.

[Periwinkle]

Could you change it again??? I feel like if there are any here, you're just calling their attention. Maybe something like, "Do you ever get worried..."

Just my .02

Done! :) Is this better? (it was "Pedophiles on MDC")

[curlyfry]

better title :thumb

[beansavi]

If you look at the list of usernames for MDC there are (were at least) some there that were questionable in nature... I asked one of the mods to look at it, I don't know if they did.. they all had "dirty" type usernames and very little posts... I don't know why their usernames just couldn't be eliminated...

I'd love to get an example of this. That really pisses me off that someone didn't catch that immediately!

[thismama]

I've also had creepy pm's from ppl with 1 or 0 posts, asking questions about my labour.

Gotta be aware around here.

[mrzmeg]

I agree that we need to be protective, but we also need to keep this a safe community for mothers to ask legitimate questions that they might not feel comfortable asking otherwise. From the OP, asking about chidren masterbating is a legitimate topic/concern, and should not be censored.

[Periwinkle]

From the OP, asking about chidren masterbating is a legitimate topic/concern, and should not be censored.

I absolutely couldn't agree with you more. There have been many threads on this topic and I'm glad this is a place where a NORMAL activity like this can be discussed openly. But some of these posters smack of a wolf in sheep's clothing to me and many others apparently, and other threads like this have a zillion views. :irked:

In other words, many times it is not the topic of the thread that's disturbing, but something else about it that seems highly suspicious. I hope that clears it up.

[thismama]

I agree Periwinkle - I find it pretty easy to discern, depending on the number of posts the member has, and the way the question is phrased. It either squicks me out or it doesn't.

I am not interested in even more censorship around here, but it would be nice to not see these threads get serious responses including other ppl's personal experiences. It seems naive to me.

[mrzmeg]

If you see a poster who you think has the wrong intention, you can hit the triangular alert button at the lower left corner of the post. I'm not sure what else can be done other than privatizing the boards, but that wouldn't change much, I'd think. They'd just sign up as members.

I do agree that it's kind of icky, but I'm not sure how harmful it is, even if there are pedophiles on here. And of course, we have to guard our own privacy online as though there are predators anyhow.

Any mods around to weigh in on this?

[Clarinet]

Are profiles regularly deleted?

I'm a moderator on another very small forum with less than 100 joined and it's not exclusive but when someone joins and has a sexually explicit or casino website listed in their profile, I PM them, ask them to change it and if they don't respond in a few days, I assume they are there just to up their search factor and delete them. I know this forum is HUGE, but I would volunteer to clean up profiles. The thought of someone having disgusting thoughts about anyone's child is just horrifying to me.

And as a rule, if the post count is under a certain number and the person posts something that's questionable, I just don't respond.

[pumpkin]

Just a thought on the high views but low posts...

Its not necessarily that people are coming to read those points with nefarious intentions. Whenever I open a post and get a weird vibe and see that the person has a low post count, I just decline to reply. Maybe the question is legit, maybe its not. But if it creeps me out a little I figure the best thing to do is trust my instincts and just not respond. So maybe other MDC members are doing the same?

[boingo82]

I'd love to get an example of this. That really pisses me off that someone didn't catch that immediately!

Um, I'm pretty sure the moderators don't get an email notification every time someone registers a username. They certainly don't get notified for EVERY new post.
The only way they know is if a member notices and reports it. Keep in mind these are volunteer moderators and they do NOT spend 24/7 reading every. single. forum. post. and browsing the list of thousands of usernames for suspicious ones.

[alaskanteach]

I'd love to get an example of this. That really pisses me off that someone didn't catch that immediately!


If you go to send someone a pm, there is a section on the right hand where you can look up a username.. We are ALL listed there, alphabetically. I just happened to run into an offensive couple of them when I was looking for the specific spelling of someone's username...

look there and try it and see if you find any..

hopefully, they are all eliminated. I called attention (through the mods) to the ones I found, but I didn't search all 26 letters of the alphabet...

[Irishmommy]

I'd love to get an example of this. That really pisses me off that someone didn't catch that immediately!

Please report them, we can't be everywhere at once, and things do slip by.

[mmmummy]

ive only mentioned one of my childrens private parts in one post..
but im thinking of removing it now. not so much because im worried people will be freaked out about ME (though that would be a really awful feeling) but because i dont want anyone who might be looking at it for the wrong reasons looking at it and thinking anything weird....it just gives me a creepy feeling i really,REALLY do not like..im also too nervous to post my kids pictures online or even use their names fully..people are just sick..its pathetic..:(

[beansavi]

I think there should be enough people to go around to have a person on MDC who looks for this kind of thing (and sexually explicit user names) as one of their main jobs.

This forum and being protective of children (and their Mamas) go hand in hand - just MO. :Peace

[boingo82]

I think there should be enough people to go around to have a person on MDC who looks for this kind of thing (and sexually explicit user names) as one of their main jobs.

This forum and being protective of children (and their Mamas) go hand in hand - just MO. :Peace

You should volunteer, then.
I think you're underestimating the amount of posting that happens on a daily basis here, and overestimating the amount of time moderators have.

[Irishmommy]

boingo82, thank you.

[boingo82]

boingo82, thank you.

No problem, I know you are volunteers and even on days where I spend WAYYY too much time on MDC, I don't see 1/50 of the posts that day. You have families just like the rest of us, and it's not like you're getting $40k yearly to mod 8 hours a day.

[CatskillMtnMama]

I saw a questionable poll recently, asking if we "kiss our children" -- it turned out to be kiss their "naked bums.' It was all very weird, and I and another poster consulted. She noted that all the other posts the OP had written were about nakedness. I reported the post and it was gone immediately, as was the account that it came from. So the mods are on it, right away.

I didn't get the feeling that it was from a pedophile, just someone really, really weird. i haven't seen any other weird posts here at MDC. All things considering, it is a very safe-feeling place for me.

:)

Liz

[JustVanessa]

Periwinkle- the thread has disappeared from Life With A Babe, so it must have been caught. I too thought that thread was odd. It is the first one I have seen that I questioned though....I don't spead any time in the diapering forum usally.

[amydidit]

I think there should be enough people to go around to have a person on MDC who looks for this kind of thing (and sexually explicit user names) as one of their main jobs.

This forum and being protective of children (and their Mamas) go hand in hand - just MO. :Peace

There are so many posts each day, and new users I would imagine, that I'm sure the mods don't have the time to go searching for such things. If it's decided to have some people specifically for this job then I'd gladly volunteer. I've done similar tasks on other boards and am admin of my own so I know what's involved. I wouldn't mind taking on another. Heck, I'm on here so much each day that it wouldn't be hard for me.

[Treasuremapper]

Every so often I read a post or a thread started invariably by a very new member. Also invariably the post has to do with an "innocent" question about a child's genitals or early development. The kind of thing that, if phrased maybe slightly differently or if asked by someone with even a few more posts under their belt, I might not even pay any attention to. After all, we as parents have all kinds of questions, and these sorts naturally come up. But maybe it's the fact that it's someone's very first (or few) post or that the way they are written sometimes sets off my internal alarm bell.

Also, every once in a while, I notice a thread posted genuinely by an MDC member I know or just one who's been here a little while, for example, a thread about a child touching themself, being naked around or taking baths with older children, even breastfeeding questions.... so they basically run the gamut and are reasonable things to ask certainly. But here's the thing that worries me: there are invariably like 5 replies and 400 (or more) views to the thread, which just seems weird. And once again the hair on the back of my neck stands up, like, OMG someone(s) actually getting off on this, telling all their friends to come here and read or something.

There are currently two active threads that I'm aware of that meet these descriptions, where I am very VERY suspicious that the OP is a sicko. And it makes me want to throw up because I just have that 6th sense that's something amiss. I've been a member for long enough to see these threads come and go, but with the increasing popularization of MDC, I feel like I run into them more often.

What do you all think? Is there ANYTHING we can do about this? I for one have stopped posting photos, and I've gone back over my posts and edited out names, identifying info about where we live, etc. etc. I just have the feeling that there are fairly frequent and fairly regular visitors on this site who have ulterior motives for being here. :(

Could the rules for joining be changed, or new members would be monitored for the first 3 posts or something, or you could only see the threads here if you were a member. Disclaimer: I haven't thought any of this through yet as to pros/cons, just throwing out ideas.

ITA. Thank you for bringing this up.

[busybusymomma]

For post views per thread... I'm on email subscribe so I come back to check a thread when I get notification of more replies. Does it count my view only once or everytime I load that thread to view it again?

And yes, sometimes I wonder about threads too, but I only post on a handful of the forums here at MDC because I'm on dialup and only have so much time. :wink I don't think I see even 1/20 of the threads here.

[beansavi]

Nope, it only counts views from new viewers, not repeat ones.

[beansavi]

You should volunteer, then.
I think you're underestimating the amount of posting that happens on a daily basis here, and overestimating the amount of time moderators have.

Sheesh, way to assume a tone in my voice that is not there, fellow mamas.

I can certainly speak out about protecting all of us without being flamed for doing so.

I'll be glad to volunteer, after (if you look at my other posts) my homebirth which is now one week past my due date. This forum may be run by volunteers but it serves Mothering magazine with the most hip topics amongst its readers, and Mothering magazine is a business that makes money from this forum in the long run. yes, they are a good business, but my point is that we need to have protection as well as a place to talk freely---they go hand in hand.

I am so sick of attitude around here, where good, kind people get flamed. I guess I assumed that no one would speak to someone they don't even know, and lecture them about something completely pulled out of thin air. It must be nice to live in a world where that is acceptable. Not in mine!

"People don't see the world as it is, they see the world as they are." I won;t be back to / or re-read this thread based on the projecting of others' negative outlooks onto me.

:Peace :Peace :Peace

[merpk]

beansavi, honestly, I didn't see that you were flamed. I saw that boing' was pointing something out, and rather politely, too. Please don't take offense.

:)

:Peace

[boingo82]

Nope, it only counts views from new viewers, not repeat ones.


That's actually incorrect. vBulletin, the software that Mothering runs on, counts page views, not unique visitors. The "Views" count includes visitors who return to the thread 20+ times to read, but never post.
It also, I believe, counts each individual page as a separate view, so if one person views all 7 pages of a thread in sequence, that counts as 7 "views".

I was not "flaming" you, merely trying to point out that your expectations for volunteer moderation on this FREE forum may be a bit out of line.

[angela&avery]

i think i may change some things... in my siggy...

[westernmamomma]

I had never really considered this topic until reading this thread. I guess it's bc I tend to skip over threads that seem suspect when reading the new posts pages. It did make me consider my siggy, and the things that I've posted in threads re: my children and their ages etc.

After all that has been said, I will be looking out for it more now, not to become a vigilante, but just to keep my eyes open and lose some of my nievete(sp?) on this forum. I guess I tend to assume the best in all situations and am a bit too trusting from the outset.

Now, I know that my post count is waaaaaay low, but how and when could/can a mama become a moderator to help out the overloaded volunteers here?

[OakBerry]

I have to say I've noticed this as well. I can pick out the "troll" posts rather quickly, and I've noticed one or two lately. I tend to not give much personal info on here, or any other site for that reason. A parenting site I frequented had an incident where a trusted member turned out to be fake. Luckily (I guess) it was "only" a teenaged girl, who was a bit lonely and bored and wanted to have some fun. But I made friends with her, we all gave her breastfeeding advice etc. She really went all out to make herself convincing, but eventually her stories didn't add up. It woke me up to how scary it could have been if it was a real crazy person. And the fact that the internet is what it is, an "information superhighway", full or all types of people.

[Slabobbin]

I've never understood why people get so freaked out about this kind of stuff. It is rare that someone is going to read a name in someone's siggy and track them down and harm them. You can't be harmed by other people's thoughts.

[Periwinkle]

I've never understood why people get so freaked out about this kind of stuff.

I get freaked out for three reasons:

1.) Some perverted freak getting off on stories about MY kids

2.) Some perverted freak getting off on stories about MY kids

3.) Some perverted freak getting off on stories about MY kids

:Puke

You can't be harmed by other people's thoughts.

But they aren't just THINKING. They are actively soliciting posts about sexual topics (or normal topics that they deem sexual, more to the point), engaging unsuspecting mamas in a downward spiraling dialogue, and more likely than not communicating to other pervs they know (probably online) what cool juicy threads MDC's got going today.

That's not just thinking, that's acting.

A little while ago, a bunch of perverts copied photos of babies in cloth diapers and babies with nakey bums that mamas here had posted in good faith, and posted them on their pedophile websites for thousands of pedophiles to get turned on by.

That's not just thinking, that's acting.

While I would love to post photos of my kids I wouldn't dare. I also wouldn't communicate information about where they go to school, etc., because you never know who is going to ACT on their THOUGHTS.

My $.02.

[OakBerry]

I agree Periwinkle,
People who troll sites are taking advantage of people's trust, kindness and friendship when they engage you. And it's just plain creepy to think about.

[cornflower_3]

*

[Talula Fairie]

I've seen the kinds of posts you mentioned, and it totally squicks me out. It's sad to me that we can't feel safe on a parenting message board :( But, such is life on the internet. I agree with the PP that the best thing to do is to report inappropriate posts/users.