Toddlers/Older children at a birth?

[jgale]

Hi, I'm pregnant with #2. My ds will be 2 yrs 9 months when the newby comes along. We had a homebirth with our first and are planning the same with our second.

I've always liked the idea of having older siblings at a birth, but I yelled a LOT when I was in labor the first time and I really think it would freak ds out if I did that again. Now that I have an actual 2 year old in the house, I really can't imagine what it would be like to be in labor with him around.

On the other hand, since the birth will be at home, and we don't have any family in the immediate area, I'm not sure what we would do with him if he didn't stay here. I guess he could go to his baby sitter's house? But what if it were the middle of the night? And he's never slept over at anyone's house before...

I'm interested in hearing other people's experiences/plans regarding older siblings and birth.

Thanks. Jessi

[Smithie]

My ds will turn two right around my dd's due date. I plan to do "practice" yelling for a few weeks before the birth so he will know what it sounds like and that it's OK. I also have a tape of his birth for him to watch.

If he doesn't get over his distress by doing the stuff, I'm going to send him over to a friend's house during my labor. I'd vastly prefer for him to be here, but the most important thing IMHO is that I be able to do the work of giving birth without feeling inhibited.

[srexrode]

This is my seventh child. The first four were in the hospital. With my first hb, I chose not to have the kids in the room with me. My mom came over and "entertained" them in the living room.
The second hb, I wanted to have them with me. My mil was to come over and help with the kids. UNFORTUNATELY, she decided to bring my bil's three children (she watches them most of the time) and my fil with her. It was the middle of the night, so it's not like fil was busy and couldn't stay in bed while the kids slept! So my labor stopped! I was livid with her. It took until I knew she had the kids in bed and wouldn't wake them again before labor started again; 18 hrs later! Then we didn't wake our children. We let them sleep, and only woke them after the baby was here. (Part of the reason was because the mw didn't arrive until the head was out, and I refused to let dh leave me alone in active labor!) It worked out fine.
I don't have anyone available to watch the kids this time. So they will be around. I'm thinking of letting them in and out of the room until transition, when I like complete silence and being to myself. I plan to have them in as the baby crowns. The older boys will stay in the doorway so they don't see my crotch area. When I deliver, the kids will be 12, 11, 9, 7, 4, and 26mo. My 12yod will be responsible for the youngest two, the same as if she were babysitting.

[darkpear]

Check out this thread (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=390809). :)

[loudmama]

My DD will be 5 when babe number 2 arrives. I plan on having her around with a caregiver. Someone she can hang out with, take her whereever & explain things to her.

L