Pain with intercorse??

[ellymay]

Anyone else having this problem? I am pretty bad I mean it doesn't hurt
at the time but afterwards it hurts bad like when I stand up and I hate
telling dh we just can't bc I really want to but it is just too painful afterwards. Is anyone else having this problem?

[Outofmymindyo]

Well, the only reason that's ever happened to me is lack of "lubrication". It will always hurt me afterward if I wasn't properly lubed up prior to, so we've gotten used to having the KY on hand just in case I feel things aren't going all that well in that area. I can be floored and ready to go (especially when I initiate it) but sometimes that still makes no difference.

Also, this may be a bit personal, but if you are normally a shaver in that area, and you happen to let it grow cause you just can't reach it anymore comfortably, the hair can actually get in the way more than some people realize. That can cause a LOT of friction. Me and DH have said that I need him to shave for me...but neither of us really trusts him to do it without cutting me to pieces lol.

These are just MY personal reasons though, so if you think any of them apply to you then hopefully they can help.

I'm here to commiserate and hope you find what works.

[alexisyael]

Does it hurt on the inside (stinging, burning) or does it hurt in your ligaments (cramped or pinched or pulled feeling)?

If it's on the inside, then you could either be having lube issues, as the PP mentioned, or a mild yeast infection that you're not noticing, but that's affecting your tissues and making them more delicate. (Try taking a probiotic or using yogurt on the area and see if that helps!) It could also be a bacterial infection, I suppose, but you'd probably already have noticed it by now, if that was the case.

BTW, the lube issues may be a reaction to lube you're using (I had to switch lubes at about the 12 week mark, b/c I realized I was suddenly having reactions to the lube I'd been using for *years*). If you're not using lube, that could be the issue. While pregnancy is a naturally lubricated time, I personally have noticed that those secretions aren't stable enough (slippery enough?) to be enough for intercourse.

If the pain is a muscle/ ligament thing, the problem is probably more with the positions you're using. You need to take it easy and not open your hips as wide when you get it on... Also, you might want to just take it gentle in general. Spooning is a good position, if that's the issue. Doggy style can be good, but it could also hurt if you're not being too gentle. Woman on top is an absolute no-no if you're having this kind of ligament pain.

Another approach you could take would be to warm up before getting it on (warming up means getting your blood pumping -- stretching is NOT a warm-up, you should only ever stretch when you're already warm!) Ride on an exercise bike, or do some gentle jogging in place or side to side swaying. Get your heartrate up a bit.

However, I'd still recommend not overdoing it and being cautious about positions, if that is where the pain is.

Outofmymindyo -- have you thought about going and getting waxed by a professional?

HTH!

[ellymay]

It is definatly muscle pain in my crotch....that I know.....and we only do missionary
right now and occasionally doggy, spooning and dh is always gentile especially when I am pg just bc he doesn't want to hurt anything......it is just like after I have an O my
muscles down there get tense and when I go to get up afterwards it is very painful
and the last time it hurt all the next day after we dtd the night before and I was
like in tears every time I tried to stand up. This is just so different....I have pain (muscle wise) in my crotch all the time now but it is just a WHOLE lot worse after
we dtd.

[alexisyael]

Missionary may be spreading your pelvis too far apart, I don't know. I can't use that position comfortably anymore, cause my belly's too big!

I had one other thought -- my MW told me to use a hot/ warm rice sock on my groin when the ligament/ muscle pain got unbearable. I would suggest that you could do that before you dtd, and then maybe after as well... and you could do it at other times, when it hurts.

Basically, take a really long men's sock (long so that you can cover more area) and put rice in it, tie it closed and put it in the microwave for minute or less (just enough to heat the rice... depends on how powerful your microwave is.) Voila! Instant heat pack :D It definitely helped me!

(You can also buy non-medicated self-sticking heating pads at the drug store -- they're charcoal activated, and are safe for use in pregnancy -- but make sure you don't get the medicated kind! These ones are "air activated." I found those to be really great when my rib pain is acting up... I can leave them on overnight. You could put one either before or after you dtd.)

HTH!

[Sadiebug]

I have pain sometimes when after it feels like all my insides are going to fall out and I feel very swollen. I think thats from all the blood flow though. I just try to lay there for awhile to let everything flow back to where its suppose to be. I feel ya though. You love doing it, but hate the aftermath.

[txgal]

Responding from the April DDC. I had that problem at the beginning, my midwife said it can be caused by the increase in blood flow down there. It was a great thing during the act, but afterwards I literally felt bruised. It has gotten better in the last month or so.

[eorr]

Hmmm. . . I feel a little bit of pain like you're describing, but most recently I've noticed something entirely different. Almost as if there's another "ring" of tight tissue on the inside that I can feel now. It's so sensitive that it's painful, and I really have no enjoyment. I'm so sad! I was loving dtd in the first few months, even though I was so nauseous. Now I really avoid it. Thought it was a lube thing, but I don't think so anymore.
Frankly, I wonder if it's because of all the kegels I was doing. But I've stepped off a bit and the pain is still there. Gonna ask my midwife on Sunday, I think.

Thanks for providing a place to share. . .

[ellymay]

Responding from the April DDC. I had that problem at the beginning, my midwife said it can be caused by the increase in blood flow down there. It was a great thing during the act, but afterwards I literally felt bruised. It has gotten better in the last month or so.
That is exactly what it feels like a big ole bruise down there! I hadn't thought
of it that way but that is exactly how it is.

I hadn't thought about the rice pk thingy either I already have rice bags that
my mom makes so next time I may try that to see if it helps I mean it couldn't hurt that's for sure.

I try not to get up right away but after I have an O especially when I am
pg I have to pee so bad it hurts even though I go before hand so I usually
don't have a choice whether to get up or not unless I want to pee in the
bed..lol......

[ellymay]

Oh yeah and I think I am going to have to stop with the missionary postition anyways
bc I have been getting sever and I mean SEVER cramps in my thigh where my muscle in my thigh just tenses up and usually it is at the worst moment and I think now that
yall have said something that it is probably from having my legs open so far. Now if
I don't do that I am going to have to figure out another position that I can have an
O in bc that and on top (which is totally out now) are the only 2 ways I can that I have found.....ok think that was tmi......sorry.......

[radicalmama]

I have deep varicosities in my vulva, and bulging ones in my thighs and now my calves. We have to have sex at night, and then I put my feet up immediatly, otherwise, if I try to get up and walk around I want to die from the pain in my groin and legs.

For me at least, Its because of increased blood flow to areas already weakened by varicosities.

Sucks, but hopefully will go away after babe is born.

[boingo82]

I have pain sometimes when after it feels like all my insides are going to fall out and I feel very swollen. I think thats from all the blood flow though. I just try to lay there for awhile to let everything flow back to where its suppose to be. I feel ya though. You love doing it, but hate the aftermath.

I have that too, but ONLY if DH's ejaculate gets in me. If we used condoms or he doesn't finish, I don't get it. Maybe I'm allergic?

[alexisyael]

Oh yeah and I think I am going to have to stop with the missionary postition anyways
bc I have been getting sever and I mean SEVER cramps in my thigh where my muscle in my thigh just tenses up and usually it is at the worst moment and I think now that
yall have said something that it is probably from having my legs open so far. Now if
I don't do that I am going to have to figure out another position that I can have an
O in bc that and on top (which is totally out now) are the only 2 ways I can that I have found.....ok think that was tmi......sorry.......

Sadly, this describes me, too. (I'm not Oing anymore during intercourse... now, that's not to say I'm not Oing anymore, tho ;) )

[NurseLaurie]

I've had some mild/moderate discomfort DURING intercourse the past few times. It feels like everything is compacted in there. Very tight and very sensitive (and not in the good ways). We have just had to use tons of lubricant and let me have all of the control. DH doesn't seem to mind, and is just counting his blessings that he is finally getting some action in this pregnancy. No real pain afterwards... but if the act takes too long I require a bathroom break. Having a full bladder really intensifies the discomfort.

[eorr]

I'm with you, alexisyael. Same sitch.
And NurseLaurie, I'm gonna start trying those techniques. I already have had to stop several times in mid-deed for a "potty-break". It feels so strange!

[busybusymomma]

Hey elly- I've had a :idea moment... have you checked into SPD (symphysis pubic dysfunction)? I think I have it now :bawl... it where the cartilage that holds together the front of your pelvis separates a little too much. I had some mild symptoms of it during the last couple of weeks of my 2nd pregnancy but I'm having more symptoms already this pg.

So now I need to sit down to put on my pants, roll over in bed with my knees together, and somehow find a position for dtd that doesn't require my knees being far apart. There goes my favorite positions. :2whistle: I've also quit using the hydraulic machine that works your hips during my workout, I think that was making it worse too.

Anyway, thought I'd mention it.

[ellymay]

Hmmm what is it? What are the symptoms?

[busybusymomma]

There is a bit of cartilage that holds the front of your pelvis together, it's normal for it to relax during pregnancy but SPD is when it gets "too" relaxed. You'll have a lot of pain in your pubic area and you'll feel really sore and bruised when you open your legs wide etc.

Here's a few links:
http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/pubicpain.htm
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/refcap/546492.html
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/pregnancyandbaby/pregnancy/complicatepreg/articles/0,,15_187741-1,00.html

[busybusymomma]

PS- one advantage to SPD I hear is FAST labors... :bolt

[ellymay]

Well I have most ALL of those symptoms so maybe that is what it is bc I have noticed that it is just getting more and more difficult to get up or if I sit or stand too long my
groin hurts very bad and my hips hurt almost all the time and I have throbbing pains
down really low on my belly so IDK.....That would be good to actually have a labor
under 10hrs.

[busybusymomma]

My last labor was 4 hours so if I do indeed have SPD I'm wondering if I'll have another 4 hour labor or a 45 minute labor or what. I just want to make sure I'm home and don't give birth at the mall, the children's museum, the grocery or some such place! :lol Really, I just want a 2-4 hour labor... any less and it's too intense I think.

[UCmamaToMany]

I kind of get this way too. For me it feels like my vagina is gonna fall out or something. Like you I want to DTD too but I have told DH about my "problems" as well.

[ellymay]

OK I definatly think I have that for sure! Man that explains so many pains that I have.
Should I bring it up to my doc or is there just nothing that they can do about it?

[busybusymomma]

Depending on your insurance, you might get a referral to a physical therapist experienced in helping women with this sort of thing but being that I'm in a small town I doubt there's anything like that here. :o One article said your doc could give you painkillers for it if it's really bad but thankfully mine isn't that bad, it's just extremely uncomfortable to turn over in bed and I'm not sleeping as soundly as I was. :bawl

Thankfully dh has officially taken over laundry detail because our washer and dryer are down a steep set of stairs and I really can't be doing that while carrying laundry. :(

[boingo82]

OK I definatly think I have that for sure! Man that explains so many pains that I have.
Should I bring it up to my doc or is there just nothing that they can do about it?

May as well bring it up. My OB last time ignored me when I complained about it, and it was pretty bad. This time it started earlier and is worse, so I am going to pursue treatment again.