browneyedsol
01-20-2006, 10:22 AM
Hey everyone.
I'm curious about your stories of moving if you have them. Last year, I did a local and out of state job search. Nothing local appeared, but I petitioned the court to move out of state because I was offered a teaching job at a wonderful little school in NM. Well, after much ado, I ended up dropping the petition because my father was diagnosed with cancer and died after three months (after being expected to recover initially). It was a storm of grief, and that is another story, but I simply did not feel like I could uproot my family in the aftermath of that. We're still grieving the loss in waves.
Well, again, it does not seem like local jobs are going to appear this year either. I have suffered financially this year working only part time. I'm buried in bills. I have been denied for the full time jobs that appeared in my field because of a limited and competitive market. Things are tight here. I decided that the NM job was not enough money considering my student loan repayment (ouch), so I will not seek that job again even if a possibility, though I loved the place and could see my family thriving there. I'm a holistic educator with a somewhat specific focus. Just finished my MA. There are many more opportunities for me in the Pacific Northwest area and northern CA, and it seems likely that is where I will get an offer...possibly even BC Ca. There are many advantages for my family if so, but...
The fathers of my children will fight me. They won't co-operate...they don't even co-operate on little things...nothing actually. It's been the darkness of our lives for several years and the details are very, very, ugly...I will spare you. Both exes are "court happy" because they can't get to me with violence directly anymore and they refuse to reach agreements with me directly (god forbid they can't control everything I do), so...b.s. and lies with the courts becomes the *stage* for thier dysfunction, unfortunately. Yes, they buddy up and join forces. Fortunately, I do have custody of both of the kids. The visitation situations are different, but there is somewhat limited contact in one situation and very limited contact in another...a history of abuse in both situations.
I have already been assured by lawyers that I have the legal right to move out of state and that it would be near impossible for either ex to prevent it. The worse case scenarios they have stated are losing child support altogether (because exes will exaggerate travel costs for visitation...but whatever...) and possible long intensive visits on holidays that the kids are nowhere ready for (my 9 y.o. would not be okay about flying alone...he cannot presently handle even more than one overnight with his dad).
I would like to hear anyone's experiences of moving out of state when the ex/ exes fought you on it, and how the whole thing has been for you and your family. I'm trying to be as wise as possible should this come to pass for us, as I think it will. Thanks in advance!
:Peace
I'm curious about your stories of moving if you have them. Last year, I did a local and out of state job search. Nothing local appeared, but I petitioned the court to move out of state because I was offered a teaching job at a wonderful little school in NM. Well, after much ado, I ended up dropping the petition because my father was diagnosed with cancer and died after three months (after being expected to recover initially). It was a storm of grief, and that is another story, but I simply did not feel like I could uproot my family in the aftermath of that. We're still grieving the loss in waves.
Well, again, it does not seem like local jobs are going to appear this year either. I have suffered financially this year working only part time. I'm buried in bills. I have been denied for the full time jobs that appeared in my field because of a limited and competitive market. Things are tight here. I decided that the NM job was not enough money considering my student loan repayment (ouch), so I will not seek that job again even if a possibility, though I loved the place and could see my family thriving there. I'm a holistic educator with a somewhat specific focus. Just finished my MA. There are many more opportunities for me in the Pacific Northwest area and northern CA, and it seems likely that is where I will get an offer...possibly even BC Ca. There are many advantages for my family if so, but...
The fathers of my children will fight me. They won't co-operate...they don't even co-operate on little things...nothing actually. It's been the darkness of our lives for several years and the details are very, very, ugly...I will spare you. Both exes are "court happy" because they can't get to me with violence directly anymore and they refuse to reach agreements with me directly (god forbid they can't control everything I do), so...b.s. and lies with the courts becomes the *stage* for thier dysfunction, unfortunately. Yes, they buddy up and join forces. Fortunately, I do have custody of both of the kids. The visitation situations are different, but there is somewhat limited contact in one situation and very limited contact in another...a history of abuse in both situations.
I have already been assured by lawyers that I have the legal right to move out of state and that it would be near impossible for either ex to prevent it. The worse case scenarios they have stated are losing child support altogether (because exes will exaggerate travel costs for visitation...but whatever...) and possible long intensive visits on holidays that the kids are nowhere ready for (my 9 y.o. would not be okay about flying alone...he cannot presently handle even more than one overnight with his dad).
I would like to hear anyone's experiences of moving out of state when the ex/ exes fought you on it, and how the whole thing has been for you and your family. I'm trying to be as wise as possible should this come to pass for us, as I think it will. Thanks in advance!
:Peace