dh having conversation while baby cries

[aisraeltax]

what is up w/ this???? i cant think of anything else while E is crying. all i can think of is how to get him to stop!!!! but dh tries to continue a conversation (stock market, something else adult). what is up w/ that? does anyone else's dh get it? he gets frustrated when i tell him i just can't carry on a conversation at the moment. :(

[perditafoster]

mine, too. he'll ask me a question like "what's our bank balance?" and expect me to answer while Ivy is turning purple with rage since i'm taking so damn long to nurse her!

[Panthira]

Maybe they are trying to multitask?? Hehe.. *cough* sorry...

[Jeanne_L]

my dh definitely did this a few times in the beginning... i think he figured it out pretty quickly though by my response :innocent now his timing is a bit more appropriate

[IncaMama]

dh usually gets really frustrated and makes some comment about how happy (SARCASM) he is to have kids. nice.

[aisraeltax]

my dh definitely did this a few times in the beginning... i think he figured it out pretty quickly though by my response :innocent now his timing is a bit more appropriate

since it appears you only have one dc, i am assuming your dh got this rather quickly. may i ask HOW LONG it took him to get the message????
and if i have to listen to Mad Money (I love Kramer, but not every night!!), i think my head will explode. all day i either am nursing, changing a diaper, or listening to a babe scream b/c i can't figure out what else he wants, or because i have to change the bed....the last thing i want to do is hear someone scream about the stock market!!!

so...i hope dh is on a fast learning curve here or he's in serious trouble!!!

[IncaMama]

i say be specific. tell him "When our child is crying, shut up and help me. turn your attention away from all other things that are not your child screaming. tune into me, ask me what i need, and give it to me when i tell you. any other response is insulting and enfuriating." :)

[rapscallions]

rachel, do you ever feel like you have FOUR kids in the house instead of just three? i know i do. and the noise level is crazy-making! is it some sort of new mom sensitivity because i don't remember it being this loud in here four weeks ago. dh talk, talk, talking is just adding to the decibels!

[aisraeltax]

i feel like that are ALL competing for my attention...and yes, the noise level is added to by dh. but, if he doesn't get attention, he can be worse than the 7 yo.
example of a conversation later, after the babe has stopped screaming:
"whats wrong honey"
"oh, nothing"
"yes, there is...whats wrong"
"well, i was just trying to tell you somethign and you weren't paying attention to me"
"well, honey, the baby was trying to latch on and it was really painful and i don't have it in me to talk during those times. im sorry about that...what did you want to tell me"
"oh, nothing...its not important"

IS THIS CONVERSATION ANY DIFFERENT THAN THE ONES I HAVE W/ MY 7YO??? NO!!!!!

all tongue in cheek, of course! :)

[rapscallions]

:lol
couldn't God have made men just a LITTLE more sensitive to their baby's needs? woe to the kids of yore raised by the dads whose wives died in child birth eh? no wonder they quickly married their dead wives sisters!

anyhow, it takes our babies turning a year old to get their daddy's attention around here. and he admits it. i've heard lots of other mamas say the same thing. so anyone whose hubby is doing a bang up job loving on and caring for your tiny one... consider yourself blessed!

[aisraeltax]

rapscallions, too funny!

i went downstairs (2 floors down) to get the dipers earlier from teh dryer (how LONG do they take!! jeez!). when i returned, the baby was crying on the bed and the TV was BLASTING!!! as soon as i picked Ethan up and he stopped crying, i asked DH to turn the stupid TV down. his reply? "well, i couldn't hear it w/ E crying"> :angry

[IncaMama]

yup dh freely admits he's better with older kiddos...which he is. unfortunately, so am i. LOL

[Jeanne_L]

since it appears you only have one dc, i am assuming your dh got this rather quickly. may i ask HOW LONG it took him to get the message????
and if i have to listen to Mad Money (I love Kramer, but not every night!!), i think my head will explode. all day i either am nursing, changing a diaper, or listening to a babe scream b/c i can't figure out what else he wants, or because i have to change the bed....the last thing i want to do is hear someone scream about the stock market!!!

so...i hope dh is on a fast learning curve here or he's in serious trouble!!!

yes, just one dc. i was quite direct with him, too (like michele suggested, and like it looks like you've been, too). i said something along the lines of "i really can't talk when elliot's crying." then when he was settled i told him that it really stresses me out when e's screaming and i can't focus on anything else.. i told him it's biological (which it totally is...we are wired to respond to that baby!!!) it actually just took once for him and he's been better. he still does do things like let e get really worked up before picking him up or changing how he's carrying him... i'm like "if you pick him up when he starts to fuss a little, he'll probably stop... but if you wait until he's screaming, he's much harder to calm down." to his credit, he's NEVER had ANY experience w/babies or even young kids and he is getting much better at soothing him (or at least at keeping him calm when i hand him a calm baby! ;)

[spiralmg]

i say be specific. tell him "When our child is crying, shut up and help me. turn your attention away from all other things that are not your child screaming. tune into me, ask me what i need, and give it to me when i tell you. any other response is insulting and enfuriating." :)
:clap
Go Michelle!!!

[IncaMama]

now if only i had the cojones to actually say that to my own dh. :lol

actually, his deal is that he starts losing his mind once DD starts crying. gets really frustrated REALLY quickly, his mood goes in the shitter and he starts making snide snarky comments about everything. like "what a great life we have" and "aren't we glad we had kids?" really poopy things like that. nice.

[aisraeltax]

lol!!!! yes, dh wouldnt respond well to that...so i try to cope and gently suggest to him that he can do things to soothe E.

then i also remember after the shock of our preg., my comment that he wouldnt have to do anything....i would take care of EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! what was i thinking??? lol!

[ozzyemm]

NAK
We are the opposite. When Michael cries, DH cannot focus on anything else until he is "fixed." I, on the otherhand, know that Michael is going to cry while I change his diaper/ express milk (I have a powerful letdown and need to express the excess). I just try to get it over with quickly. DH really tries to get Michael to stop crying. My DH is just a saint, though ;)