BBM's

[DiaperDiva]

I don't have a tribe so I thought I would create one. It's for all us Big Beautiful mams!

Right now I would like to lose some weight for health reasons. I can't get up and done as fast as I used to(pre-Kailey). I need to share myy thoughts with others in the same boat(not to many of us in one boat at a time now! :D ) Sometimes I am frustrated, and other times content with my weight. ANyone know what I mean?

[Joi]

I am feeling you. Somedays I look down and think when did I start looking like this? My mental image of myself does not match what I actually look like............ KWIM?

[DiaperDiva]

Yes, I do know what you mean.

Some days I think I am just overweight, but then I see recent pictures, and I don't even look like myself. My facee has become lost in fat- Grrr!!!

[Viola]

Ahhh, I knew if I looked, I'd find a thread for big beautiful/fat/plus sized/Rubenesque/pleasantly plump/heavyset/bigboned/porky/stocky/whatever you like to call yourself moms :) I end up saying BBW a lot, but then I just call myself plain old fat. Or I tell people I am morbidly obese--gotta love how that makes me sound like I'm going to kick the bucket any day now, but that's the way the news makes it sound. :)

Anyway, I'm a BBM just chiming in! I've been fat almost all of my life. My mom put me on diet pills when I was 9, and I've lost weight and gained it back through the years.

Has anyone here read the book Big Fat Lies?

[TigerTail]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0898159954/qid=1047876026/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_1/103-2127051-4578207

that book was empowering in a feminist way, even if (when! seriously, i am not a good fat person. my little wrists and ankles are so skinny; my dh is a great fat guy- lots of muscle and 'big-boned'- well, he is, lol!) i lose weight i'd read and recommend it.

suse the former ectomorph (tandem nursing my way back to a comfortable diameter)

[Kelly71]

add me to the list; though I am not yet a mama. I think my weight may play a detrimental role in TTC.

[mcimom]

oh for sure. a size 6 when i started college 12 years ago. a size 10 when i left grad school. size 16/18 now after my three girls. i weigh more than my dad :crying but he just lost 40 pounds on the zone, so...

another great fat girl read - "good in bed" heard of it?

i'd also like to lose weight. i gained 65# w/my first dd, lost 75# before dd2, gained 55# with dd2, lost only 30# before dd3, gained 50# w/dd3 and have only lost 30# of that so far. wow! that's gaining and losing 305# in the span of 4 years!!!

yikes :eek

[Viola]

Originally posted by hippymama2B
add me to the list; though I am not yet a mama. I think my weight may play a detrimental role in TTC.

Have you started ttc yet? Best wishes to you.

[flminivanmama]

yep :) I'm here - all 200 pounds of me LOL

[Viola]

Why Andrea, you're practically svelte compared to me. :D

[flminivanmama]

heh. I just used that word yesterday - My husband and I own a sub shop and the walkway in the kitchen is narrow and two of our workers were blocking my way - there was like an inch gap between them and I was like "i know I *look* svelte but I'm going to need a little more room here

:LOL :LOL :LOL

[Viola]

OK, how are we all doing? I always try to do active things with my daughter because I don't want to come across as one of those moms that you see in the SlimFast commercials who whine and complain that they can't do anything with their kids. Today my daughter asked me why I don't hop around like a frog, so I was doing that. Being pregnant and having to wear jeans that are a little on the snug side, it wasn't the most fun thing in the world, but I did the frog routine. But I must confess my first thought was, "give me a break, I'm too big to be hopping around on the floor." :D

[branwyn]

allo, just say this thread and came to join :-)
i was a size 6 when i was a teen and in my early twenties but since having my 2nd i am hanging around the size 14 area. sometimes i am really happy and confident (like when i receive the lastest issue of grace magazine) and other days i feel horrible (mostly when i havent washed my hair in a few days because i cant scrap my children off--even with a spatula LOL). mostly i am happy where i am, i was really small when i was doing drugs but now i am an organic eating, yoga practicing, taoist meditation doing mama and i am healthier than i have ever been. so i try no to let it get me down that i will never wear my old clothes, doesnt always work and i wind up in the bathroom with an espresso brownie -- or 2 -- from starbucks.

so, im here! hello mamas!

[Viola]

Originally posted by branwyn
and i wind up in the bathroom with an espresso brownie -- or 2 -- from starbucks.


Do you eat them in the bathroom at Starbucks, or do you take them home and eat them there? Are you afraid that people will think badly of you if they see you eating a brownie?

The last time I went to Starbucks, I really wanted a bear claw but I got the lowfat cranbery bran muffin instead, figuring it was healthier. I get decaf drip coffee and I don't sweeten it, but I like to eat something sweet with my coffee sometimes. The bran muffin wasn't that sweet, but was pretty good. I still have that guilty feeling when I eat something sugary and fattening, like the people around me are looking at me and thinking, "Oh that obese woman doesn't need to be eating that." But I eat what I want in public anyway, because if the skinny people are there ordering their sugar laden frappucinos, well, what the heck!

My husband gives me a hard time, sometimes. He says that for someone who is so critical of her bodyweight and health concious, I eat too many sweets. He is on the Atkins diet so he eats almost no carbs (he tries to limit himself to 10-12 grams a day). Before that, however, he would drink a lot of Coke during the day, and he can put away quite a lot of cheesecake or ice cream. So it irritates me that he sees me eating a piece of candy and laughs at me. I told him that for someone who is so concerned about his weight, he sure eats a lot of beef. He says he doesn't care about his appearance the way I do, and he doesn't run himself down. He wants to lose weight, so he's doing this diet. I told him that he must care about his appearance because he won't wear shorts and is petrified of anyone seeing him naked, whereas I am practically an exhibitionist. :D Actually he doesn't think anyone over the age of 12 should wear shorts as he thinks adults look ridiculous in them.

Anyway, we have different ideas of what is healthy. He refuses to eat vegetables or exercise, and thinks that Lunchables or nuggets and fries are real food for our daughter. I still eat sugar, but I try to avoid a lot of unhealthy things that don't phase my husband at all, like trans fatty acids. Oh, and I would rather my daughter have a little ice cream than a fast food meal, but yesterday when I gave her some and he found out about it, he acted like I was completely licentious, which is funny because the brand of ice cream we have is not very sweet, but has way too much fat so I don't like her to have too much. Oh well, he and I are never going to agree, I guess.

[branwyn]

Originally posted by Amywillo
[B]Do you eat them in the bathroom at Starbucks, or do you take them home and eat them there? Are you afraid that people will think badly of you if they see you eating a brownie?




LOL, oh no, i take them home and eat them there. its just if i want to eat in peace (and without any help, or sharing) i have to go in the bathroom!

my husband told me once (when i asked him if he thought i was fat) that he was never going to tell me how to eat, just as long as i was eating (his 1st wife dieted by starving herself and was surprised when she didnt lose weight). dh had goen to culinary school, and he is the one who actually taught me how to eat well.
after reading the book "finding your metabolic type" i realized why i had always gained weight on low fat diets (my met. type needs full fat), so we dont have much in the house that is low fat, but we also dont have much processed anything. i lost 50 lbs after reading that book and putting some of it into practice but i dont think i will get any smaller, and today i am happy with that. today i feel comfortable in my skin :-)

oh and for future reference, the bear claw and the muffin have the same amount of fat and carbs (i used to manage a starbucks and memorized about all of the nutritional info, so if you ever need info just let me know!). now if you are trying to stay ont he lower fat end of things, do NOT get the lower fat coffee cake. my friend was getting one of those the other day and i said "i thought you were watching your fat levels" and she said "i am, thats why i am getting the low fat coffee cake" i said "no, hun, its LOWER fat coffee cake, which means the regular coffee cake has 28 grams of fat and the lower fat has 14 grams. thats why they have to call it LOWER fat coffee cake and not LOW fat." she started laughing and couldnt stop for about 5 minutes. after she calmed down, she said "no wonder i have gained 10 lbs i have been eating that for breakfast and snack 2ce a day!!!"

[Quirky]

So here's a question - where do you think are good places to buy flattering clothes? I'm exercising and eating healthily, but not dieting, and I've resigned myself to losing this pregnancy fat (and the fat I put on before I got pregnant :rolleyes: ) slooooowly, and I need some new clothes that aren't completely frumpy dumpy! Not that I will ever be a fashion diva, but I need to buy a couple of new outfits that look cute and make me feel good.

So bring it on, ladies - where's the best place for retail therapy for us BBMs? I'm probably wearing between 16-18 these days.

[branwyn]

i love torrid and lane bryant!

[RainCityMama]

Hello! May I join you?

I have pretty much battled my weight all my life, however I'm in my fattest phase of life right now :crap

I was on the slimmer side for *me* in college and I recently came across some photos of me back then and it depressed me :crying
Like DiaperDiva I feel like my face looks so FAT!

I went on Weight Watchers before I got pregnant with my daughter and lost 55 pounds which felt great - but I managed to gain about 60 pounds in my pregnancy and I've only lost about 20 pounds of that since she was born 6 months ago.
I started WW up again this past week using their nursing points program at home and I'm hoping to lose about 80 pounds :jaw
I guess I'm just feeling like this weight is aging me and I want to feel like I look pretty again - I feel like I have resigned myself to being just another fat mom lately and I'm really not ready to be that? Does that make sense? I want to feel like I'm still stylish and attractive at 31 years old!:help
Don't get me wrong I don't just blame these feelings only on my weight - I have gone from enoying fashion and trying to look nice to basically living in sweats and doing little more than showering myself and putting on clean underwear everyday :rolleyes:
I realize a great deal of this has to do with having little ones and being at home all day with them - style just isn't that high on the priority list KWIM?

Anyway, it's nice to have a place to talk about these feelings :)

[Viola]

Originally posted by branwyn
LOL, oh no, i take them home and eat them there. its just if i want to eat in peace (and without any help, or sharing) i have to go in the bathroom!

Oh yeah, I can relate to that. I sometimes hide out in the bathroom reading or using my computer. My husband comes and yells through the door, "Are you OK in there?" Then he sees I have my computer and says, "I should have known." And sometimes I just want to eat something without my daughter having to eat too. She is in this phase where she wants to eat very frequently. The other day I got up and she said, "I'm hungry, what can I eat?" Since her dad had fed her and half the food was still on the table, I made a comment about how she shouldn't be hungry. She said, "But I just want to eat for fun!"

oh and for future reference, the bear claw and the muffin have the same amount of fat and carbs (i used to manage a starbucks and memorized about all of the nutritional info, so if you ever need info just let me know!).

:thumb Good to know. I got the regular coffee cake once, but that is one of those things that you can really tell is just not going to be good for you.

[branwyn]

Originally posted by RainCityMama
Hello! May I join you?

I feel like I have resigned myself to being just another fat mom lately and I'm really not ready to be that? Does that make sense? I want to feel like I'm still stylish and attractive at 31 years old!:help
Don't get me wrong I don't just blame these feelings only on my weight - I have gone from enoying fashion and trying to look nice to basically living in sweats and doing little more than showering myself and putting on clean underwear everyday :rolleyes:
I realize a great deal of this has to do with having little ones and being at home all day with them - style just isn't that high on the priority list KWIM?

Anyway, it's nice to have a place to talk about these feelings :)

hey there mama, new here myself :-)
you have time to have clean underwear? LOL seriously, i know what you mean. i make myself all the clothes and buy a lot and they sit in my closet. if i ever happen to wear them, then thats the day that the kids play in the mud at the playdate. i used to get out of bed, take a shower and immediately put on my eyeliner (a staple in any goths life) and the rest of my face, clip the extentions in, throw on the PVC and i was ready to take on whatever. now i am good to get my hair washed and get on the bike for 25 minutes. its like i know i could get dressed but whats the point? i am only going to be at home, the park, the post office or joanns. oh and if we are going out of the house, then i have to get the girls and the diaper bag ready (with all the "just-in-case" stuff), so even having clean hair isnt an option then!
wow, did i just vent or what??? i only wanted to say that i know where you are comng from, i must have some issues :D

[RainCityMama]

I feel like I have resigned myself to being just another fat mom lately

I just re-read this and it sounds REALLY rude - I'm sorry.

I guess what I mean is that I feel like that typical weight-loss add where the woman says "I got so fat after having my kids" - like I should start crying on a Richard Simmons shoulder or singing the praises of metabolife :rolleyes:

Anyway - I really didn't mean it to sound so bitchy.

[Viola]

No problem, RainCityMama. I think it would be harder if you've been thin or normal weight for most of your life, and then gain it all suddenly. I've weighed over 200 lbs since I was about 13 so I've been used to dealing with this weight for awhile. I got married at 29 and we conceived our first child when I was 31 because we wanted to wait until we had been married for a little while before adding children to the mix. I was exercising regularly before getting pregnant, and continued throughout pregnancy. After I had the baby, I had a harder time getting in the same level of exercise. I lost a little weight due to breastfeeding which put me about 20 lbs down from my pre-pregnancy weight of 250, but I felt very flabby and out of shape. So when my daughter was about 20 months old, I started exercising every day, and trying to pay more attention to the types of food I was eating without dieting. I figured that anything more extreme than a permanent lifestyle change would mean a weight loss that wasn't possible to maintain. I was so surprised when the weight dropped off easily--it was the first time in more than 10 years that I was actually able to lose more than 10 lbs. I lost about 55 lbs, but then I plateaued. I was fine with being just under 200 lbs, but as my daughter grew and cut down on nursing, the weight just jumped back on. Then I got pregnant, had a miscarriage and my weight was right back up at 250. Several moms had warned me of that possibility, but their children weaned around a year so I thought I was a little safer from it. I guess not. It was quite demoralizing and depressing. Oh well, I've been fat for so long and I love being a mom, so being a fat mom doesn't bother me, other than I'm like one of the only fat moms in my playgroup.

I just wish I could find exercise clothes and maternity clothes in the brick and mortar stores instead of having to order the stuff online.

[mcimom]

y'all have to read "Good in Bed" by Jennifer Weiner (I think?)

it's an awesome fat girl read.

i gave up eating after 8pm for lent and it's helped a lot (that and the nice weather so i can get out and walk!) so i'm almost back to pre-Isabel weight (5 months later), but i'm still a long way from ideal or healthy.

i need to exercise! but i'm so lazy and who has time w/3 kids under age 4?

ah well... :rolleyes: excuses, excuses...

[Viola]

So where is Diaper Diva? She started this tribal thread. :)

[Kelly71]

bumping the thread, since I believe it's a worthwhile thread.
:thumb

Kelly:wave

[StarMama]

Can I join too? :D

[Nicke]

:wave I am here too.

I have been "chunky" most of my life. At one point, in my preteens/teens, I dropped enough weight to do cheerleading and tap and jazz and all of that stuff. But over time I have just gotten bigger and bigger. When I married, at 17, I was a 14/16 and felt HUGE. Now I look back and think that was not so bad. Over the last 9 years I have had 4 kids and gained A LOT of weight.
As a bigger child I put up with kids and parents (yup, they can be cruel too) who beat my self esteem down because I was "too big". And as an adult it took me a long time to get over that image of myself. Now I am a 26 and I could care less what others think. Yeah, I guess I wish I could shop in more mainstream stores, but the most important part is that I am finally happy with me. I no longer look in the mirror and cringe at what I see. Phew! Talk about purging (excuse the pun :p) and getting it all out there.
Anyways, I am a big girl and present. :)

[Kelly71]

I'm not a mama yet, but definitely, and probably will always belong to this tribe. :rolleyes:

[Dakota's Mom]

Hi All

I'm a mama and gammma and have always been a BBW. By 13 I was 200 pounds. Dropped out of high school at 230. Had my first child at 250. And most recently adopted last year at 330. I have dieted my way right off the scale. I try to eat a healthy menu now, but refuse to diet again. Every time I went on a diet I gained more than I had lost. I wish I were healthier. Being a mom of an active toddler at 53 is a lot of hard work. I want to be around when he grows up. But I won't diet again. Hopefully eating good food instead of all the junk I ate in the past will help. But oh Starbucks will be my downfall. Cranberry Bliss Bars and Frappachino. Got to go now.

Kathi

[gossamer]

Hi all, can I join? My question to y'all is were you overweight when you got pregnant? If you were, how did the doctor's treat you? Did you have a healthy pregnancy? Were there any problems? My original OB told me he didn't want me to gain ANY weight during my pregnancy and the night my daughter died, he suggested gastricx bypass. Any one have an experience like that?
Gossamer

[Nicke]

Gossamer, I am sorry for your loss. :hug How insensitive of him to say that to you as you are dealing with your loss.

With my first I was overweight, but not as much so as now. My doc told me not to gain anymore than 15 lbs with him. I was worried I would go over that (after all you hear about pregnant women putting on weight) and somehow "disappoint" the doctor. :rolleyes I had/have a tendency to put on weight whenever I try to lose weight or someone suggests it. It turned out that it was not an issue anyways. I continued to eat the same and ended up losing weight. I lost 18 lbs from the time I found out I was pregnant until about 7 months. Then I gained back 5. After I delivered I was a couple of lbs lighter than before I was pregnant. Go figure!! With the next two (same doc for all 4 of my kids), I had the "don't gain a lb" speech, as I had gained more weight by each pregnancy. With number 2 I again lost weight 8 lbs this time and did not gain any back. And with number three I put on three lbs. So it was no biggie. With number 4 I ended up dropping weight in the beginning and then blowing up in the end. By the time I delivered I had gained 23 lbs. After birth I was slightly more than before. But I did not get a speech at all during the pregnancy.
When I go to the doctors anytime I hate the "you know you are overweight" speech. Um, ya, like I did not notice my ass could be used for a coffee table. Thanks for pointing that out people! :rolleyes: I mean really, do they think we don't notice? Or that by putting us on the spot it will somehow change the fact that dieting and working out over the major portion of our life has not helped? *sigh* Ok, rant over.

[gossamer]

I had lost 20 pounds when I delivered, after my daughter was born, I lost an additional 15 pounds. So in 6 months of pregnancy, I lost 35 pounds, and still got the lose weight speech from everyone. Now no one wants me to get pregnant until I lose more weight and get down to around 180 or so. I am just so frustrated and angry. Everything I have read about pre-eclampsia and HELLP Sydrome mentions being overweight as only 1 risk factor out of about 10 or so. SO many of the risk factors I cannot control like the fact that I am over 25, I am caucasian, etc. etc. I just feel hopeless about ever getting pregnant again and having a child.
Gossamer

[Kelly71]

Gossamer,
I have no words for you except hugs.:hug. Know that this is a safe place where you will not be judged and are among friends. I clicked on the link of your daughter. She was a beautiful baby. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you heal.

Kelly

[Viola]

Oh, my notifications told me there were more responses on this thread. Neat.

Gossamer, I have read about plus sized moms getting that kind of treatment from their doctors, but I think you should find a doctor that is supportive of you in spite of your weight. I worry that sometimes all the doctors see is this one issue and it clouds their judgment and they don't look for other problems.

I was 250 when I got pregnant with Molly and gained about 25 lbs which I lost within two weeks of giving birth, so I think most of it was water.

With Jessie I was about 258 and gained about 12 lbs, and lost almost 20 the day I gave birth. I weighed myself during labor and was 269.5, then I weighed myself after giving birth that night and I was 249.5, and I'm about 245 right now.

My sister was 270 with her last couple of pregnancies and went to just over 300. We all had problem free pregnancies. I did notice that in the last week or so my blood pressure was elevated and was on the high normal side, but other than that I didn't have any problems. I tested negative for gestational diabetes as did my sister, but we both have had large babies.

My OB with Molly said normally they encourage a weight gain of 25 lbs, but I didn't need to gain any weight. I took that to mean that I didn't need to, but not that I shouldn't try not to. :)

:hug

[Kelly71]

Amy,
What sort of measures did you do to promote your fertility? From everything I've read and heard, obesity can be a real cause of infertility. I've recently lost about 30 pounds and am below 300 for the first time in about a year. I am dieting as we speak and expect to continue the downward spiral, God willing. Congrats on your beautiful girls!

Kelly:wave

[Viola]

Originally posted by Kelly71
Amy,
What sort of measures did you do to promote your fertility?

Nothing that I know of. When I tried with Molly, I had sex every other day and three days in a row at one point. My husband hated that and still talks about how it was the time I tried to kill him getting pregnant. :rolleyes: :) I got pregnant that month which surprised me because I had just been reading a pregnancy planning book and was convinced I'd end up having problems.

I got pregnant in May of 2002 when we did the deed a few days before ovulation. I really didn't expect to get pregnant then since we had just started trying that month and I only had sex that one time. That one ended in miscarriage, though. We waited 3 months then started trying again. The first month I could feel I was ovulating by the pain in my side, but I ended up not having sex until a full day after I felt it. Then the next month I didn't notice any cervical mucus or ovulation pain, so I didn't get pregnant even though I felt like we were doing it at the right time. I guess I had an annovulatory cycle.

At the end of December 2002 I noticed the pain in the morning and had sex that evening (January 1st). I was pregnant and had Jessie.

I was 31 when I got pregnant with Molly and 36 with Jessie. My sister who had 6 children never had a problem getting pregnant until she tried to conceive her 7th. She tried for a number of months but never conceived, but her partner had some problems that may have contributed to that.

My younger sister weighed about 262 at her highest point but has a petite build and is only 5'2". She had actually stopped getting her periods for a few months at a time or they were very light when she did get them. The doctor told her she was showing signs of insulin resistance and suggested she try the Atkins diet. She did and lost about 90 lbs and her cycles went back to normal, but she still thinks she might have thyroid problems.

I have always had very regular periods and so has my sister with the 6 kids. But then the other day she mentioned that every year or so she misses a period then has a super heavy one the next month, and she said that has happened to other women she knows so she figured it was normal. That has never happened to me, so I don't know if it is or isn't because I've never thought of it.

[Viola]

I was reading an article in the local newspaper about a woman who had gastric bypass surgery and lost 130 lbs. She lives on about 700-900 calories a day. My niece had that surgery many years ago when she was 16 and weighed 300 lbs. She eventually went onto have children. I'm just curious how this type of surgery that restricts how many calories you can eat would affect pregnancy and breastfeeding. A baby takes in about 700-900 calories a day in breastmilk, right? So would you be able to eat enough to cover that and your own needs? After awhile can you add more calories back in?

[eilonwy]

Originally posted by Nicke

When I go to the doctors anytime I hate the "you know you are overweight" speech. Um, ya, like I did not notice my ass could be used for a coffee table. Thanks for pointing that out people! :rolleyes:


:rotflmao OMG, I just had to say that this is hilarious. :LOL :LOL :LOL My mom is always acting like I have no idea that I'm fat. :LOL

:wave Hi, my name's Rynna and I'm a Fat Mamma. :wave

I was a skinny kid. Average sized at birth, then tapering off as I went into toddler life. I've always weighed a lot for my size; my bones are scary huge and I'm a mesomorph. So I'm very muscular, and muscle weighs more than fat. But I wore slim jeans until I hit puberty. Overnight, I went from a 14 slim to a 2 petite. I felt like a cow because all of a sudden I had hips and breasts, and I had gained 30 pounds in 5 weeks. Then I got a bit taller. In ninth grade, I was just under 5 feet tall, a 34DD/DDD and a size 2. I weighed about 135, and I felt too thin; my knees were bigger than my thighs, and I felt ridiculous with a huge bubble butt, huge boobs and no arms or legs to make me look "normal". Now, I'd kill to have that body back. :LOL

I was a size 4/6 when I graduated high school at 17, and about 145 give or take 3. I was pretty happy with my body. In college, I got sick and gained 20 pounds. I was absolutely shocked! It was all fluffy weight, and I went into a size 14. I'd never had fluffy weight in my life! I grew the following year to just under 5'1", got some exercise, and spent 2 years in a size 10/12 at around 180.

Then I went on the starvation, puke-if-you-feel-guilty diet. I got down to 160 and a size 8 (lost all the fluff). I stayed there for a few months, and then slowly creeped back up to a 14 and 220 pounds. Dh didn't really seem to notice; he met me at 8 and I gained so slowly that he was shocked when I showed him the jeans I'd been wearing on our first date. :LOL

At 220 and a tight 14, I got pregnant with Eli. I lost 45 pounds due to severe morning sickness, and gained it all back plus 10 (230) by delivery. Then I gained another 50 pounds of water. :rolleyes: After Eli was born, I stayed around 230 for a while, then creeped up to 235.. but it was all fluff, and I was a solid 18.

I got pregnant with the new bean, and have since lost 20 pounds (215) with no morning sickness to speak of. I look great, and am comfortable in a maternity 16. I have no delusions about it lasting; I fully expect to be at least an 18 by the time I deliver. My waist has made a brief reappearance; more than losing weight this time, my weight seems to be shifting into new positions. :shrug

My mother is especially nasty to me about being fat. She is herself a fat person, all fluff, but she's lost a lot of weight in the past few years. She also says "I was much older than you when I gained weight" as if that makes it okay for her to be a B****. She's really nasty about it, and I always want to strangle her.

Amywillo, I saw an episode of Special Delivery on Discovery Health with a woman who was carrying quadruplets; she had had a gastric bypass and lost 130 pounds, gone through early menopause and used herbs to help her deal with it. She was told that she couldn't concieve at all, but she somehow managed to concieve quads. She was the only woman carrying quads that I've ever seen who hadn't gained a huge amount of weight (80-150 pounds). She was all belly, with two skinny arms on the sides. :LOL Sort of the way a tomato would look if you gave it arms and legs made of toothpicks. :LOL The babies did very well.

[Nicke]

Hi Ryan . . glad I could provide a laugh. :D

I totally know about the parents nagging thing too. My dad is 6'6" and weighs the same as he did in HS (and his nickname was sticks to give you an idea). He loves to tell me how I have "such a pretty face . . . if only I could just loose some weight....". I think that is one of my fave comments (especially well meaning old ladies who feel the need to tell you that even though they don't know you from a whole in the wall). :rolleyes
Now my mother is skinny and I don't get much in the comment department from her, but I do from my stepfather. And let me tell you, I get a kick out of getting lectures on my weight from a man that weighs 480 (no, not joking!). *sigh* I wish people would just mind their own business and keep their comments to themselves.

[Viola]

At 220 and a tight 14, I got pregnant with Eli.

Doggone, if you can wear a 14 at 220 lbs, then you are pretty muscular and bony. I have a medium sized frame, but my nieces and nephews have huge bones. They get it from their Nigerian father. You aren't part Nigerian by any chance? LOL

I think I mentioned this already, but I had a hydrostatic body fat test done at one point in time, when I was exercising a lot and doing weight training. I was told that I had 125 lbs of lean body weight and if I lost fat and got down to 20% body fat, I would weigh about 157. Weight Watchers told me I should weight about 145 for my height (5-6). I was about 194 at the time and wearing a size 16 in some things, and 18s too.

[StarMama]

I'm driven nuts not by parents but by my Dh. He's also significantly overweight but is always telling me "should'nt you slow down a little?" "are you sure you want that much?" "maybe you shouldn't have seconds" *especially* about sweets. Which drives me MAD because he can eat a whole bag of doritos or chex mix, or some other carb intensive treat and not even blink. Like *hello* honey you're concerned about my sugar intake, but don't you KNOW what those carbs are gonna turn into in your system?!?

I know he's just concerned about me, but I don't like how guilty he's made me feel about it (I know he's not trying to make me feel guilty, but it does). Especially right after I gave birth. I had some baby blues (much better now that I've figured out things a little better and Orion isn't nursing 24-7 so I can get out of the house) and I snarfed on sugary stuff making up for having gest. diabetes. Its better now, but I still have a long way to go, and my eatting habits are not going how they'd like. I really want to eat more veggies, I love salads and veggies cooked in many ways, but I'm just getting back into being able to cook with the crockpot now, so hopefully we're on a track to doing something that is positive with our diet soon. I hope.

I'm really strongly thinking of joining weight watchers, and teaching the program to Dh so he can be responsible for his own eatting habits. If he chooses to scarf down crap at work and uses all his "points" he'll learn! :LOL

[eilonwy]

Originally posted by Amywillo
Doggone, if you can wear a 14 at 220 lbs, then you are pretty muscular and bony. I have a medium sized frame, but my nieces and nephews have huge bones. They get it from their Nigerian father. You aren't part Nigerian by any chance? LOL


My gigantic bones come from my Russian grandmother; huge bones, big strong arms, hands that would look average sized on a man about a foot taller than I am. Not only was I a 14 at 220, I was (barely):LOL So yeah, I don't expect to weigh what they say I should. I go instead by the actual size of my ass. If I could wear an 8 or a 10, I'd be happy. Even though I'm short, I start to look silly once I'm smaller than a 6. My bones are so big that I look slim at 8, skinny at 6 and bony at 4. I also wear at least a size 8.5 ring (when I wear jewelry, which isn't often) and need a man's watch because my wrists are so huge. :LOL I think I get the mesomorph build from my mother's father; short and very beefy.

I may be part Nigerian, but if I am it's a very small part; I'm only about 3/8ths black at all. :LOL Maybe 3/16ths. I can't remember exactly anymore. :LOL

[Viola]

OK, can we revive this thread? I've been feeling bummed lately, but I want to post in a supportive area.

[eilonwy]

:wave I'm still around, and actually feeling relatively slim as I am now back to 220, my before-I-ever-got-pregnant weight. I can't wear my normal clothing yet, becuase my belly is still sore around my incision and I'm much fluffier in the middle than I was before Eli was born, but I think in another few weeks I'll have a whole wardrobe of size 14 clothing available to me. Yay! :)

Why're you feeling bummed, Amy? What's up?

[Katie's Momma]

Hi all - nice to find this tribe!! :thumb

I'm definitely maxxing out my weight these days and will not bother to share numbers as I don't want to shock you all. ;) Suffice is to say that I am not fluffy, not chubby, not chunky - just plain old super-fat. I completely accept that being a super-sized woman has really been because of my super-size appetite! The more I feel bad about myself, the more I eat. So, like Fat Bastard says "It's a viscious cycle. I eat because I'm unhappy (with myself) and I'm unhappy because I eat."

I have a 3 year old daughter so I am "The Fat Mom" whereever we go. Although, it is interesting that even though that is the case, I am probably the most involved and active with the kids when we go to the park, playgroup etc. Most of the moms sit and watch but I like to actually play with them.

Thank you for starting this tribe - it is really nice to have a place to share.

[Dakota's Mom]

Hi all - nice to find this tribe!! :thumb

I have a 3 year old daughter so I am "The Fat Mom" whereever we go. Although, it is interesting that even though that is the case, I am probably the most involved and active with the kids when we go to the park, playgroup etc. Most of the moms sit and watch but I like to actually play with them.


I can so relate to this. Not only am I the fat mom but also the old mom. Parenting a just turned 2 year old at 53, I mostly sit and watch the kids play. This is hard work. I also work fulltime.

Kathi

[Viola]

Why're you feeling bummed, Amy? What's up?


I don't know, I was just depressed, I guess. I was feeling really down one day and I thought that I should just have weight loss surgery. For me, that is a sign of defeat. LOL

It just seems like everytime I want to post about weight and maybe put a different face on things, it comes down to "you need to exercise more and eat less." I'm sure if I exercised more and ate less that I would lose weight. Eventually I would have to. You know, like if I stopped eating altogether, I have no doubt I'd lose weight. So it's not that it's not possible, it's just that I'm not for weight loss at any cost. But there is this constant attitude of lifestyle factors don't really matter, the bottom line is what the scale says.

I was reading that article on obese mothers being more likely to have obese children, and I did a google search for more articles. I came across one on a naturopathic website that said that obese mothers are more likely to have babies who are mentally deficient, criminals, or obese. What a lovely thing to read on a site about naturopathy. :eyesroll

There is no such thing as size acceptance. Fat people should feel shame so they do something about their problem. If you try to look at or promote any other message than fat is bad and people shouldn't be fat, you are just told you are fooling yourself. You are over reporting your exercise and under reporting your eating. Fat people are self-deluded and/or liars.

I actually know that I eat more than I need to be a healthy weight. I figure I wouldn't continue to weigh as much as I do if I didn't eat enough to maintain it. So I'm not deluded on that front, I just have never had an easy time losing weight. You know how they say that losing it is the easy part, it's maintaining that is hard? Well, even losing is hard. For years I was never able to lose more than 10 lbs and it always took awhile to lose the 10 lbs. On two occasions I've lost 50 lbs or more and the weight came off easily those two times, but ended up coming back. I'm afraid to diet because if I do something severe enough to lose a lot of weight and then I slip up and don't maintain the rigid control, I will gain the weight back and more. I don't want to diet up to an even higher number.

So I try to be happy and do the best I can do, but I feel like I will always have to fall in line with the mainstream thinking on weight and accept that most people are thanking God they aren't as fat as me.

I don't know, I just know that I've weighed 200 lbs or more since I was 12 years old and I'm 37 now.

I was tracking my eating for a few days on Fit day, not to diet, but just to see how much I eat and see how I could cut down on some calories. I was pretty much consistently eating between 2000 and 2500. There is room to cut down, but with nursing a baby it's hard to know how much of my hunger is real. I do aerobic exercise as well as some strength training, and with nursing I'm thinking 2300 isn't way out of line. I'm sure the number gets bigger on days where I go out to a restaurant though, so I'm trying not to do that.

I feel like I have to be perfect in healthy eating and exercise because anytime I eat anything unhealthy, people are saying "Well, no wonder she's so fat!" I had strep throat last week so I didn't exercise for almost a week, but on the same day I got my antibiotic prescription I was back on the treadmill and lifting weights. I felt guilty for taking a break even though I was ill. But no one really understands this feeling--I feel like people just assume I am a lazy butt that just doesn't care.

OK, so is that too negative? Just the way I had been feeling, although I've been feeling fine the past few days.

[eilonwy]

I was reading that article on obese mothers being more likely to have obese children, and I did a google search for more articles. I came across one on a naturopathic website that said that obese mothers are more likely to have babies who are mentally deficient, criminals, or obese. What a lovely thing to read on a site about naturopathy. :eyesroll

Man, they'd love us. My mom's been obese my whole life, and her children are far from mentally deficient. :eyesroll So are my own, if I do say so myself. What a crappy thing to post on a website! And totally false, to boot. :angry

Fat people can often maintain their weight on fewer calories than lean people of the same weight, so you could concievably cut down to 1800 calories and remain a fat person. I've done it before. Life's just not fair.

:hug I'm glad you're feeling better today.

[hipmamawnc]

Hello - I wanna join in. I swear I dreamed this thread last night.
I'll give myself a quick intro. My name is Robyn, I am 28 and mother to 3 beautiful kids. Raven Isabella 6, Dakota Bear 4, and Zebulon Fox 8 weeks. I have been married to my highschool sweetheart for 8 years, we've been together since we were 15. I have never been skinny, but looking back to prebaby times I realize now that I was not nearly as overweight as I thought I was. In part because I used to believe the weight/height charts, so at 5feet 3inches and 145# I thought I was 25# overweight. :eyesroll Now I know better. I have big bones, broad shoulders, and wide hips. I will never be a litlle skinny girl, even if I lost all the extra weight.
After my first I hovered around 175 untilI got pregnant again. I was 219 at his birth and lost 20# by my six week visit. I stay around the 200 mark for six months and then began the most stressful year I've ever had. It started January 9 2001 with my dh being in a car accident caused by a drunk driver and continued right on through to September 11th. In that time I lost my stepdad of 22 years(he walked out on my mom,haven't talked in two years), my grandfather died of a stroke (moms father) and my uncle (moms brother) also passed away. Not only was I dealing with my own loss, I was VERY worried about my mom. I am a stress eater, by the end of that year I had gained 40 pounds. I got back on track and lost 35lbs just before I got pregnant again.
So here I am now, 8 weeks postpartaum and about 235lbs. My body image and my body never seem to match. Either I think I look better or worse than I really do. I am lucky in that I am pretty healthy and my dh is always telling me how beautiful I am no matter what.
I want to be a good example to my kids. I want to stay healthy, and I wouldn't mind finding clothes more easily.(it was soo hard to find plus size maternity clothes :irked: )

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for the thread. You are beautiful mamas all!

Robyn bfing,novaxing, :xnocirc: , cosleeping SAHM

[Viola]

Hiya and welcome, Robyn!

[tracymom]

Hello, mamas! I just found you and glad you revived this thread Amywillo!

I just went to the doc today to get my first Pap smear in about five years :blush and tipped the scales at 222. Which made me :irked: because I'm fitting into clothes I hadn't in a while and had just bought two size 18 bathing suits on sale which fit very, very nice and actually make me feel pretty. I hate knowing the numbers, yk? Cause then I think about it and it irritates me.

I've been swimming a lot with the kids this summer, so maybe just maybe I've built up some muscle. I like getting in the water and moving around because I feel all nice and light and graceful. Plus I don't feel the sweat. :LOL Anybody else feel that way?

I've gotta go work (I'm a medical transcriptionist) so will go w/o posting my story, but will subscribe for the support.

Later, then, BBMs!

[eilonwy]

Actually, I feel really fat in the water, but that's mostly because I'm uncoordinated. See, I used to know how to swim. :LOL I was never graceful, but I was proficient. These days, I'm very clumsy and when I feel clumsy I feel fat.

I can totally relate to feeling skinny until you step on the scale, that happens to me all the time. When I "lose weight" I tend to stack up more muscle, and my boobs get bigger instead of smaller, so I frequently weigh more than I expect even when I'm wearing my skinny pants (which right now are 14's). I work hard not to get too upset if the scale says something I wasn't quite expecting. I'm 5'1", 220 and my size 14's will definately fit me once my incision heals a little more. I think that's pretty damned good, and I'm happy with it. :thumb

[mom2threenurslings]

Can I join?

I'm Amanda. Mama to 3 kids ages 5.5, 4 and 2. The younger 2 are tandem nursing. I am hoping to lose a lot of weight during the next 6 months, as dh and I are talking about starting to ttc on my 30th birthday at the end of December. I'm 5'3" and have no idea how much I weigh. Over 200.

I think my biggest hurdle is actually exercising. With three kids, a part-time job, homeschooling, etc. etc. etc., I find it difficult to find time to exercise ... especially without kids. We love to hike when we get the chance, and do go on 3-4 mile hikes, but it's at kid pace, not grown-up pace!

I've been overweight most of my life. I was actually a size 8/10 when I met my dh (who loves me any size I am, bless him! :love ), but that was when I was anorexic/bulemic. That is another hurdle for me...eating right and losing weight in a HEALTHY manner!

Thanks for starting / reviving this thread!!!

[hipmamawnc]

Hiya all! I tried to go shopping for clothes yesterday :eyesroll . By the time I found anything I liked enough to try on the kids were totally burned out and we had to call it a day, I did find some great stuff for dd on sale. It is not that I can't find clothes that fit, but it would be nice if I liked them and felt comfy in them, thats not too much to ask for. We are going to the beach in 7 weeks and I just want to have a few things to wear that aren't stained with spitup or just plain worn out.
Oh well, I am gonna try again in a few days and leave the big kids with dh this time.

I totally agree about swimming, I love how weightless and graceful I feel and exercise with no sweet-what could be better. I haven't had a chance to swim this summer cause I just can't see bringing a newborn out into that much heat and sun and we are kindda connected at the boob :D

Blessing to all

[Viola]

I took my baby out to the pool today. My nieces are visiting and they've been in the pool four times already today. I went with them once, and I took Jessie who is 9 months old. The water was too cold for her and she didn't like bobbing up and down in the little float, so I let her crawl around near the pool. She managed to crawl into an area of the concrete where all the dirt settles, and she put some of it in her mouth. What are these babies thinking? So I had to take her back in the house and clean us both off and warm her up. She didn't like the warm shower any more than she liked the cold pool.

My 11 year old niece is really trying hard to learn to tread water. I showed her how I tread--I doggypaddle to the deep end, then barely move. Fat people are very buoyant. :LOL I lost weight in 2001 and I remember going swimming after I was 50 lbs lighter and had been really working on the weight lifting. I got to the deep end and could barely keep my head above water.

[tracymom]

My 11 year old niece is really trying hard to learn to tread water. I showed her how I tread--I doggypaddle to the deep end, then barely move. Fat people are very buoyant. :LOL I lost weight in 2001 and I remember going swimming after I was 50 lbs lighter and had been really working on the weight lifting. I got to the deep end and could barely keep my head above water.

:LOL

I only learned how to swim a couple of years ago; I finally found an instructor who could teach me! I got the basics, then took another class. I turned out to be the only woman in the advanced class, and the three guys were all fairly lean. He was teaching them how to hold their breath and relax and find the natural "float level," and saying "when you need a breath, just push up, take one, and then relax back down." I'm over there trying to figure out what he's talking about because I'm finding I bob like a little cork. :LOL When I figured it out, I announced to all of them that I was delighted to find a "sport" where I excelled *because* I had so much fat on my body. The guys were cracking up.

[eilonwy]

That's the other problem I've always had with swimming-- Even at my very fattest, I've still got a lot of muscle and a lot of bone. I sink. In fact, the only time I can remember *not* sinking was while I was pregnant with Rivkah. The belly kept me afloat! :LOL

[tracymom]

That's the other problem I've always had with swimming-- Even at my very fattest, I've still got a lot of muscle and a lot of bone. I sink. In fact, the only time I can remember *not* sinking was while I was pregnant with Rivkah. The belly kept me afloat! :LOL
yup! not so relaxing and fun, I'll bet! When the kids get bigger you can be a dedicated water-noodle-user!

[Katie's Momma]

ooooh I love swimming - always have though - even before I remember being fat. Contrary to what all slim people think, some of us fat folk are very good, strong swimmers. In fact I am going swimming on Sunday with my daughter.

I just posted on the thread about "fat acceptance sites" and on it I read that some of the posters mentioned that fat phobia is rampant here at mdc. Have any of you experienced it here?

I live with it in real life as society is SO dead set against fatness. I try not to let it bug me but sometimes it does.

Especially when you are just out in public, doing your own thing and someone is looking you over...sometimes you can almost hear what they are thinking!

Over the last couple of years, I have gotten to the point where I stare them right back until I catch their eye and then ask "Can I help you?" or "Is there something you would like to say?" Not once has anyone said anything.

How do you cope with this??

[tracymom]

I just posted on the thread about "fat acceptance sites" and on it I read that some of the posters mentioned that fat phobia is rampant here at mdc. Have any of you experienced it here?

Not really; I don't hang out in the weight loss support threads, though. I've seen a few people whine about their 5-10 pounds that they can't get rid of, but my skinny IRL friends so the same thing, so I don't worry about it. Several of the long time posters I know are heavy because they had a support thread for it a while back. I was sorta kicked out because I was talking about healthy eating and maybe attending WW and they got a little peeved at me. I think they misinterpreted where I was coming from with it. :blush: I'll see if I can dig that up.

I live with it in real life as society is SO dead set against fatness. I try not to let it bug me but sometimes it does.

Especially when you are just out in public, doing your own thing and someone is looking you over...sometimes you can almost hear what they are thinking!

Over the last couple of years, I have gotten to the point where I stare them right back until I catch their eye and then ask "Can I help you?" or "Is there something you would like to say?" Not once has anyone said anything.

How do you cope with this??

I'm mostly oblivious these days, especially since my youngest boy is so very active and I have to keep my eyes on him constantly. I also try to make sure my self-image is up to par (not saying yours isn't, of course) because when I'm feeling down on myself is when I let the little junk bother me. I usually decide when that happens that it's time for me to evaluate whether I need a haircut, a wardrobe update, more exercise and activity, or anything that will help me to "feel my best," whatever that means. Then when I feel more balanced, I don't seem to notice the fat police as much. ;)

ETA: Here's the original thread: happy with self thread (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=121489)
and here's the tribe thread: not dieting thread (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=126632)

[mamademaya]

So glad to see this thread! I am just beginning to come to terms with being fat. I'm tall (5'11") and was always thin as a kid and teen and 20-something ( 140 in HS, 160 in 20's), and started slowly creeping up in my early 30s (175#), and by the time I got pregnant at age 33, I weighed 195.

I gained 50# w/ pregnancy, and lost 30 of it, but then was shocked to see that I'd gained back 20#!!! So I now weigh 230, and am considered "severely overweight". Was blood-tested recently, and was told that my blood sugar was too high, and I could be in danger of getting diabetes.

I've never eaten particularly healthy, but could eat like a hog and rarely gain weight. So now, at age 36, i'm looking at trying to change 35 years of crappy eating habits and not being used to exercising. It is soooo daunting!

Not only learning about nutrition, but I can't cook at all, and the biggest issue is that I'm a total compulsive over-eater. I always knew it wasn't good, but could stay in denial easier when my body was still in an okay weight range for me.
It's really a shock to be fat right now. I have a two-year old, and her dad and I are co-parenting together, but aren't a couple anymore. This is the first time i've been single and fat. I can't possible imagine anyone i'm attracted to being attracted to me! Yes, I don't really have time for a relationship and am totally focused on mothering, but that's also an easy excuse to use when part of the truth is that I would be totally mortified to try to date, looking like I do. I've never been sexual with a man and been this overweight. It's terrifying! I'd love to meet my soul mate, and maybe even have more kids, but at 36, and not being anywhere close to being confident enuf to meet anyone, the clock is sure ticking fast!
My biggest thing now is fear of my health really being effected by my weight, which in turn will affect my daughter. She is my entire life, i am so in love with her and so into being her mom, i would absolutely lose it if i developed health problems and couldn't be with her always. i'm tearing up writing this. it's hard to believe that that could really be an issue, but it could! I want to be alive to see her grow up, and I want to be active and healthy and not pass down my compulsive/unhealthy eating habits to her.

it really freaks me out to imagine her going thru what i have (body image obsession, bulimia, etc.), and I feel awful to say this, but i would just be heart-broken if she got fat. i would of course love her tons, but i would hate for her not to love herself or for others to hurt her w/ their words.
With that said, there's no reason to believe she'll be overweight (she has a beautiful, tall, long, lean strong body now), I feed her much more healthy than I feed myself, and I am extremely affirming of her beauty and strength and worth.

I was going to start by trying to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, exercise at least 3 times a week, and not eat at least 2 hours before I go to bed, and drink one cup of tea that my acupuncturist gave me for cravings.

That sounded relatively simple and doable, but it's been much harder than i expected!!I've been scheduling power-walks with friends, and I think that will help a lot, and the water and tea thing is just a matter of remembering it and doing it. But the not eating late at nite is really hard for me. It's when my emotional eating is at it's worst.
I am so addicted to sweets and carbs (muffins, pasta, cereal, toast), and that's the last thing I need. I'm TRYING to cut down on refined carbs and sugars, and have, but I'm far from where I need to be with it.
In the meantime, I'm trying to reach out to others, love myself as I am, pray, and stay positive.
Thank Goddess/God/Spirit for my sweet baby Maya and the beauty that surrounds me and the family and friends that love me.
Another thread recommended a web site for exercise bras for large-breasted women (I think I'm something like a 52 H or something ridiculous like that - I'm big, but my breasts are proportionally much bigger than the rest of me, and boy are they flabby and hanging - I'm still nursing, too), and I got on it and ordered "the bra of last resort" - no bouncing guaranteed, no matter how big your boobs are! can't wait for it! That and a good pair of tennies are key to the exercise part.
Anyway, I'm rambling, but that's my sitch in a nutshell. So wonderful to hear from other BBMs!
:love :thumb

[Katie's Momma]

...when I feel more balanced, I don't seem to notice the fat police as much.

:) :LOL :laugh: "the fat police" omgosh that is classic!

[eilonwy]

Another thread recommended a web site for exercise bras for large-breasted women (I think I'm something like a 52 H or something ridiculous like that - I'm big, but my breasts are proportionally much bigger than the rest of me, and boy are they flabby and hanging - I'm still nursing, too), and I got on it and ordered "the bra of last resort" - no bouncing guaranteed, no matter how big your boobs are!

Where where where?!? And how much do they cost? I'm a solid 38 K at the moment. Full of milk, but geez they're big! I'm just too short to have boobs that big for any reason at all, I feel like I'm a walking pair of breasts sometimes.

[BunintheOven]

:eek holy boobahs LOL

I am 44 DD, :angry I hate it, I am 5'2 and 220+ I have bulimia, so it is really hard to loose :irked:

[eilonwy]

:LOL I'd give anything to be a 44DD; you can actually find those in the mall. Meanwhile, I'm saving up for a pair of shoes for my son and after that, a DE bra for me. :nod I'm 5'1" and 220, btw.

[BunintheOven]

I've never seen anything bigger than a 44dd. In real life anyway LOL

Bras are really expensive eh!? wow! it almost kills my wallet lol
I am so jealous of little booby women, they have no problems finding a good fitting bra, esp sexy looking ones :angry lol

[Viola]

I just posted on the thread about "fat acceptance sites" and on it I read that some of the posters mentioned that fat phobia is rampant here at mdc. Have any of you experienced it here?

I've definitely encountered an attitude here that parallels what I hear in the mainstream media, which is that being fat is a self control issue. There was one thread about fat being an AP issue (can you be an AP parent if you have a problem like obesity and aren't willing to do anything abou it), and when I posted about the anti-obesity psa's, a few people seemed to think that, yes, of course fat people should lose weight, so just eat right and exercise. Whenever I post links to stories about people who have a different take on obesity and overweight, I have gotten some negative responses. I think some people really disagree with the idea that you can be healthy and overweight. I don't care if people disagree because I want to have a discussion. I know for me personally, all things being equal other than my weight, I'd be healthier at a thinner weight if I could get to that weight normally, and not through extreme measures. But it seems it always comes back to the message of "You're fooling yourself, you're at a much greater risk for health problems" but none of the individual ideas I posit are discussed.

[tracymom]

I've definitely encountered an attitude here that parallels what I hear in the mainstream media, which is that being fat is a self control issue.

:nod

I admit that I have seen this. I have tended to ignore it and consider the source oftentimes; the ones I have seen posting such attitudes tend to be extremist sorts who don't like hearing other POV on *anything*. I feel like :yawning: :shrug :shake, you know?

[Katie's Momma]

There was one thread about fat being an AP issue (can you be an AP parent if you have a problem like obesity and aren't willing to do anything about it)

oh my...I'm sure glad I wasn't around for that one. I can feel the sarcasm and anger rising just thinking about it.

I would hope that I could ignore that type of thread as well - just like I do with other threads that I feel very strongly about and know will just get nasty...

We all know that society is definitely judgemental towards us, so that would make sense that some of that opinion be here too.

C'est la vie.

[tracymom]

bumping, and.....

does anyone here sew for themselves? I just found a gorgeous book at the used book store yesterday called "Sewing for Plus Sizes" which has beautiful pictures of plus women in absolutely gorgeous clothes. There are ways to adapt patterns to fit your own body type and needs. I'm a wannabe sewer; it's something I've wanted to learn how to do for a long time, and I thought I'd pick it up for inspiration. I'm kind of tired of clothes that don't fit anymore. The older I get the worse it gets.

[Devaskyla]

Just found this thread and decided to join you. I don't want to say how much I weigh, but my BMI is high 30's or low 40's, which I guess puts me on the "your going to die any second" scale. Whatever. I really don't feel like I'm that big, most of the time. Occasionally I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think OMG, I'm HUGE!

It is starting to affect my health, too. At least to the extent that my feet and ankles have a lot of trouble supporting me for any lenght of time (more than about 1/2 an hour standing and I'm in agony for hours). Means I can't actually do any of the jobs I could actually get, because they all involve standing for hours.

I don't exercise much or at all, most of the time. I feel like I should do more, but I'm definitely not going to start in the middle of summer. I hate the feeling of sweating, especially on my face, and I wear glasses so my nose sweats tons.

I don't know how many calories I eat a day, but I really don't think that I'm over eating. I would be very surprised if it was over 2000 calories a day. Most days, I have a bagel with a bit of margarine and cheese for breakfast and supper. That's it. Plus I try to keep a bottle of water with me all the time. When I'm pregnant, which is quite often lately, I often eat a bagel or bread with some cheese at night, too. We do eat a lot of carbs, but it's hard not to when we don't have a lot of money for food and carbs are cheap. And we have junk food more often than I'd like, but my husband has a massive sweet tooth and eats most of whatever it is anyway.

I've felt like I was fat my whole life, mostly because of being teased and tormented starting in elementary school. I look back at pictures from then, though, and there is no way I was even remotely fat, I just had curves earlier than most girls. I would be ecstatic to be anywhere near as thin as I was then. If I can get the scanner working and dig my pics out of the storage room, I'll put one up from then.

[Viola]

Just found this thread and decided to join you. I don't want to say how much I weigh, but my BMI is high 30's or low 40's, which I guess puts me on the "your going to die any second" scale. Whatever. I really don't feel like I'm that big, most of the time. Occasionally I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think OMG, I'm HUGE!

I think my BMI is 42 or 43. I don't think of myself as circus fat lady huge, but when I was leaving the movie theater recently, some kids outside made a comment about how huge I was. Of course, half the teens in the world would probably do that if I was under 200 lbs, so I didn't take it too personally.

One time my sister was at Wendy's, and the workers called her a fat cow in Spanish. Even with her bad Spanish, she recognized it, and our friend who is much more fluent got angry and complained to the manager.

[eilonwy]

Is there a BMI chart somewhere online? All I can remember about mine is that I'm in the really fricking huge range. :shrug Even right now, when I'm feeling thinner than I have in years. Why, just yesterday I wore a pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear since early in my pregnancy with Eli. :D Tandem nursing may not be keeping AF away, but it sure is pulling the fat off my butt. :LOL

[mamademaya]

I ordered "The Bra of Last Resort" off title9sports.com, which specializes in bras for being active, with a good line of bras for large and extremely large breasted women. This one is guaranteed not to bounce, no matter how huge and un-firm your breasts are.
They only go up to certain sizes, however, and they told me that enell.com has some of the same bras, but bigger sizes.
Good luck!!

[mamamoo]

Hey mamas...so glad this thread is here...i'll bbl to post an intro. :)

[cheekymamaof2]

ohhh I fit in here!
although,sometimes I wish I didn't. KWIM?
:D

Michelle...the plump.

[tracymom]

ohhh I fit in here!
although,sometimes I wish I didn't. KWIM?
:D

Michelle...the plump.
I hear ya! :LOL

[eilonwy]

ohhh I fit in here!
although,sometimes I wish I didn't. KWIM?
:D

Michelle...the plump.

:LOL I just like "fitting" anywhere.

Rynna, the Just Plain Fat :wink

[Viola]

I used AOL yesterday, and on the opening page there was a photo of a thin but upset woman and a headline of "Can you be fat on the inside?" There was a story at the WebMD site about how women may look thin, but can have the "metabolic syndrome" seen in obese people. Here is the story: http://tinyurl.com/5auun

I don't know, I found the wording offensive just because the article attributes this problem to lifestyle choices, but then says "you're obese on the inside." Agh, so if you don't have the symptoms of inner obesity even though you are obese on the outside, can you get a special shirt to wear that says I may look fat, but I'm not obese on the inside?

[eilonwy]

Oh, Amy, didn't you know? It's always you're fault if you're fat on the outside, regardless of whether or not you're fat in the inside. I'm surprised that they didn't just come out and say something like "most people who are actually obese do not suffer from metabolic syndrome, they're just too lazy to get off their big butts." :eyesroll

It's aimed at thin women, telling them that they may not be as healthy as they appear. That's fine, but it doesn't change the fact that most thin women don't care because, after all, it's what's on the outside that counts. :irked:

[Viola]

OK, we're falling off the front page--gotta bump us up. What's going on out there with you BBMoms?

BTW, if you check out my baby's photos in my link, there is a photo of me (all 250 lbs of me, LOL). I didn't put it up at first because I didn't want a photo of my big fat old self up there, but then I said what the heck.

[eilonwy]

Amy, those pictures are adorable! :love Very reminiscent of BeanBean's first birthday, except that it was cold and noone came to his party except his godparents. :( :crying

So I was doing a little research and I figured out why I haven't lost any more weight since the initial bit of baby weight-- if you're breastfeeding and you don't eat a ton of food, your body goes into preservation mode more quickly. I rarely eat a reasonable amount of food, I just don't have the time for it. I can't cook in the sling comfortably (my arms are too short) I can't even wash dishes. If I wake up before the kids I get to eat, but recently that hasn't been happening. :shake Then of course, there's the fact that when I do actually get to sit down and eat a meal, I feel horribly guilty about not doing something else. It's a real pain in the neck.

[tracymom]

Precious, precious pictures, mamas! What adorable babies.

I wanted to share: I'm doing a program through our church called Thin Within which is great as we don't weigh or otherwise focus on the weight in any way; in fact, it encourages you to put away the scales. One of the first exercises it has you do is to sit and do a body visualization exercise from the feet up in which you think about each part of your body and how it has served you and served God. This was an excellent reminder that my big ole feet carried me around through two pregnancies, my saggy belly shows the marks of two pregnancies and two-sections....you get the picture. It has gone a long way toward making me more self-accepting of the body I have today and less focused on it in a negative way. It's like I knew all that in my HEAD but now it's more in my heart that I really FEEL this way about it, which is a very peaceful thing.

Eilonwy, I so relate! I remember those days! I expected BF to peel off the weight and it never did for me either! My body is very, very good at holding onto that weight for the future famine it expects to come any minute now....

[cyrusmama]

Wow a place for me too. I am 25 and have been big since puberty but the last couple of years I have put on a ton of weight. Just curious has anyone heard of having their cortisol level checked? I know they've started putting out pills that are suppose to target high levels of cortisol in the body :eyesroll but before then I had a nurse friend tell me that she had a friend whose cortisol level was real high :shrug

Anyway, I am 5'9" and have always been told I "carry" my weght well...if that's true then why do I look at pictures of me and think ugggg :(

[eilonwy]

Anyway, I am 5'9" and have always been told I "carry" my weght well...if that's true then why do I look at pictures of me and think ugggg :(


Yeah, I'm short but people were always surprised that they didn't have to roll me into rooms because I weigh a lot more than I look like I should. Of course, these days I'm carrying a huge belly and my waist has vanished into the morass that was once my body, so I don't often get those comments anymore. Now I'm just plain fat, as well as big boned. :eyesroll

[Viola]

My body is very, very good at holding onto that weight for the future famine it expects to come any minute now....

I fully expect to survive that famine when it comes. That is if those shortsighted folks who don't plan for this kind of thing don't kill me and eat me first. :LOL

[cyrusmama]

if you're breastfeeding and you don't eat a ton of food, your body goes into preservation mode more quickly.


I wonder if this happens if you aren't breastfeeding to? B/c before I got pregnant, I never ate a lot of food...I swear I think I just have no metabolism... :crap

[tracymom]

I wonder if this happens if you aren't breastfeeding to? B/c before I got pregnant, I never ate a lot of food...I swear I think I just have no metabolism... :crap
actually I think there's good evidence that it does. that's what I mean when I say some are better at preparing for the famine. It takes very little to put some of us in "survival mode" where the metabolism crashes down to nearly nothing. Sigh. What's a busy mamma to do?

[mom2threenurslings]

Hi everyone! I haven't posted on this thread in ages, but thought I'd chime in on the "survival mode" thing...

I was triandem nursing and was gaining weight. Everyone thought that I should be dwindling down to nothing, but there I was gaining weight, and not eating much at all. It took me a long time to convince people that my body is in survival mode and that I really don't eat enough (as opposed to eating too much). I'm now tandem nursing and still not losing weight, but I also forget to eat breakfast, barely eat lunch, etc. I'm thinking I really need to start eating more so I can lose weight, as silly as that sounds! :LOL

[cheekymamaof2]

Hiya gals...

I just felt like sharing a bit of happy news...
I started bellydancing again (it had been several years) and while I've lost only 10 pounds...(on a 220 pound frame, it really wouldn't normally show much) my muscles are remembering the posture and getting tighter...so much now that I am able to fit my prepregnancy pants. A little bit snug...but darnit I am in them. I have been dancing for at least an hour a day, (not quite half of that being warm ups and stretches) four or five times a week. I really love bellydancing, because it teaches great posture which is said to remove weight to the eye, and its so graceful and beautiful...its hard to not feel gorgeous when you are doing it. In the mean time, I am not dieting...I am trying to eat healthy foods mostly, and remembering to eat small frequent meals is something I wrestle with daily...but I am doing it. Another thing I am doing...I don't allow myself to go more than 3 days without at least an ounce of really exceptional chocolate. My Midwife friend recently got me hooked on Dagoba Chocolate. (Thanks Pamela...LOL) So...instead of eating a doughnut for breakfast, I remind myself that theres chocolate to be had and it helps me avoid other fatty foods...after all, the soul needs chocolate, not doughnuts. :LOL

*warm smiles*
Michelle

[pamamidwife]

ah, Michelle, I know I've said this before but you look so much more - alive perhaps? invigorated? - since starting your bellydancing. You've really motivated me to consider trying it. I've been saying it for months, but I'm really thinking about it.

:) The soul needs lots of chocolate.

[Viola]

Michelle, that is great!


I seem to want to eat a lot more when I am nursing, but maybe that's just because I've been nursing for almost as long as I haven't worked outside the home. When I was at work, I couldn't eat as much. But even when I came home from work, I don't remember feeling like "OK, what can I eat now?"

But when I was pregnant, I had a very normal appetite, was satisfied with my food and I lost some weight at first.

[eilonwy]

So the other night, Mike and I were...er... being intimate and I discovered that I'm just shy of being too fat for sex! :yikes: Both of us are fat, and with two bellies and fat thighs everywhere...it was so depressing. :crying I told Mike that we need to find ways for me to eat more often and that he needs to lose some weight because it'll be easier for him than for me. For a change, he totally agreed, and maybe this time he'll actually stay with it and pay attention (instead of deciding, two weeks down the line, that he needs chocolate and he deserves some for being good for two weeks :eyesroll) and work on losing weight.

I wonder if they do gastric bypases on nursing moms?

I wonder why I hate myself so much that I even think that should be an option... :bag: Shouldn't I be happy just the way I am? I think that being too fat for sex is over some invisible line for me, that I've finally crossed over into the world of the Very Fat. I mean, I know my bmi is high and I know that all of my pants are too small, but it's only been about a week that I've been able to look at someone and think "She's about a size 16, and she is much smaller than I am. She looks fat, I must look huge." :shake :crying :hide: I just want to crawl into a big fat hole and stay there for a while. :(

[Nabbe]

I am one... All the way over in cold old Norway... I am now 7 months pregnant with my 3rd child, but i feel good. Cant complain. Shortness of breath, maybe, but who could blame me, with a child laying like underneath my breasts now ;)

[tracymom]

Aw, eilonwy! :Hug
I think when I get down, that gets me, too. Maybe if it's tied to comfortable versus uncomfortable mojo, that'll be enough motivation for him, y/k?
I'm sorry you're feeling so down; something like that is darn sure demoralizing.

[tracymom]

I am one... All the way over in cold old Norway... I am now 7 months pregnant with my 3rd child, but i feel good. Cant complain. Shortness of breath, maybe, but who could blame me, with a child laying like underneath my breasts now ;)
Welcome to our "little big club," Nabbe! :wave

[Viola]

I started a new thread for us: http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=2312490#post2312490