just a vent

[CarrieMF]

I have been a SAHM since I was pg with my oldest who is now 7. I have 2 other girls who are almost 5 and almost 4.

Why is it assumed that once they are all in school full time that I will be *free* to go out and get a job as if it is my lifelong dream to do so?

I have goals for when my kids are all in school like cleaning my house and having it stay clean for more than 30seconds. Volunteering at the school, in their classrooms. Being home when they get home. Not having to take days off work if they're sick, are going on a field trip, etc.

[BlueStateMama]

Right there with you, sister!!

I frequently get the, "So, you must be looking forward to practicing law again when the kids are all in school!" like I'm serving time for something and looking forward to parole. People are generally shocked when I say I have no intentions of "going back." I wish I'd held on to some of those articles I've seen about parents leaving work to be SAH's in record numbers when their kids are older...finding that they are needed more than ever then. (in my next life, I'll start a file of useful info for future use!!)

[2Late2BCreative]

It's just not enough to want to be a MOTHER and a good one (not that WOHMs are not good moms....I just know I could not be the kind of mom I want to be if I had to work).....surely we want more out of life than taking care of our children, home, etc. :blah

I feel the same way as you...DH will often talk about when I go back to work like it's some major event he's looking so forward to. He does not understand my desire to stay home. I am not totally opposed to going back to work but my #1 priority is my family. I do not want to deal with not knowing who will care for my kids during school breaks or illnesses. I don't want to miss out on field trips and being home with my kids and volunteering in their classrooms. I want my kids to remember that Mom was home....mom was always there...mom gave up many things to be a mom....and mom was happy to do so!

I remember before we had our second child, my DHs friends were saying how we shouldn't have another bc it was that much longer until I was out in the work force. WELL.....got news for them....I am in the WORK force....just my job is probably way more important than theirs and I don't get a paycheck....
okay...sorry, Carrie to take over your rant ;) ...but I completely know how you feel. That's one of the reasons I love to come here....bc I can see that I am not alone and that there are people who do know the value of a SAHM.

[lrmama]

Dh and I were just talking about this! He was assuming that I'd go back to work as soon as all of our kids get to school age, but I have other ideas. I know he was kind of looking for relief from being the only earner in the family, but his job pays more than enough for us to live on. I won't NEED to go back to work, and I hate the stress of trying to run a family and have a full-time WOH job. I'm starting to think about WAH jobs that I might want to do when that time rolls around.

[CarrieMF]

DH will often talk about when I go back to work like it's some major event he's looking so forward to. He does not understand my desire to stay home.

yup. Dh thinks I"ll go out to work in my trained field(accounting) and make enough money that HE can stay home. I haven't been in accounting for so long that it would take a few years to get to where he is. Plus I just don't want to.lol

When we move in 2.5years we will be moving to a very small town(1200 people). He will make less but we will need less $ too. Everything closes by 6 there. Only 1 or 2 things are open on Sun's. I would still want to be available to my kids, though it is alot easier to schedule around work there. My mom went on 6months stress leave and managed to work it so she gets every 4th week off plus her regular 8 weeks vacation(or whatever it is, she's been there over 11years) plus she works her weeks so she gets 6 or 8 weeks during calving, 2-3 weeks at harvest, 2-3 weeks in the summer, at week at Xmas.

[TinkerBelle]

I am looking forward to going back to school in the Fall. I am able to take most classes online. I want to go back to work once the baby is older. I would also like for my husband to stop working manual labor jobs as much, and maybe do his own thing and start his own business. I have SAHM'd for many years and did some work part time from home or at night.

But that is just me. I have this desire to finish school, work a decent paying job and put some money back for the future. I also have a disabled child to think of.

But, you know, I wish people just would not comment on what others choose to do. If you want to stay home and your husband is in agreement, then do what you want to do and tell everyone else that until they pay your bills, that their commentary is not wanted, or appreciated.

[SageRibbon]

My DH has mentioned more than once he wants me to return to work once the kids are in school. I disagree for a lot of reasons, some which are mentioned here! Also, I was a teacher and I just can't go back to that kind of stress...all for the sake of other people's kids. I want to Homeschool and he's not for that either. At least my kids are little and I have a lot of time to figure all this stuff out and find something to do that will make me happy.

So yeah, I feel your rant. :heartbeat