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View Full Version : My mom is coming around...




Jenne
01-24-2006, 02:13 PM
So, for YEARS my mother has thought I was totally gonzo-nutcase-crazy for believing the "hype" and "rhetoric" about homebirth and midwife assisted birth. Yesterday was a big turning point for her.

I just got an email from her stating that, gasp, I was right! And that she was sorry I was right.

Her bestfriend (who at 34 is 20+ years younger than my mom) was pregnant, had well controlled GD, and was induced yesterday morning at 38 1/2 weeks (despite being at the 75% for size and right on schedule in other ways).

I told my Mom on Sunday night when her friend went into the hospital that 1) she would be in labor for less than 24 hours and that 2) she would probably have a c-section.

Mom quizzed me about both of those and I told her based on the research that women who are induced prior to the baby being "ready" i.e. less than 1c. dialated and the hospitals policy of "timing" birth so as to avoid infection and that they were starting her labor with both pit and AROM that she would probably wind up with a c-section due to the cascade of interventions. (All of this is old news around here I know :) ) We also discussed that even with GD, if they are well controlled, as her friends were, that you are safer going to term and delivering naturally then being induced early. It was like everything I had been talking about for years was suddenly able to be discussed wihtout her shuting down.

Mom who has been a "my babies would have died without a c-section" has really struggled with feelings of guilt and feelings that my choices about desiring a homebirth were a reflection of her choices about hospital birth and some sort of indoctrination. I am sad that her friend and mine wound up with such a crappy birth experience but I am relieved that my Mom is beginning to be able to listen to my thoughts without feeling threatened because this has not been the case for the past 8 years or so. That she also acknowledged that the c-section may not have been "necessary" but was probably a direct result of being induced is a major step.

Sorry for the babbling on and on about this but I have always wanted my mom to be not only supportive of my birthing choices but also able to be there (and I know enough from reading here and elsewhere that no one should be aloud at a birth who is negative about it...) with me. I feel like we are getting closer to that point :heartbeat and I think MDC and the knowledge and research I have found here has been key in that...thanks!

:love
Jenne




sapphire_chan
01-24-2006, 07:25 PM
:love That she came to you about it. That shows that she was already having doubts about the whole situation. For her friend's next birth, whenever that is, she might get her TWG for the shower?

~lioneyes~
01-28-2006, 06:10 PM
That's great that she came around! I think a lot of women feel defensive over choices that they made while pg/or during delivery. This can really effect the way they come across to people with different ideas. If I say anything about how "now we know this or that is not good, and we should do it this way", she gets really defensive, and shuts out the info. that I have. Anyway, your mom sounds pretty common, but it is great that you can share facts about homebirth with her.