Are you done?

[birthjunkie27]

Having babies that is.

Am I the only nut who's already thinking about the next baby? (would be #4 for us). Dh is going to be hard to convince. I just have this gut feeling, like our family isn't done yet. Is this crazy or what? I'm thinking maybe when Samara is 4. If I can wait that long. :nut

[IncaMama]

dh has always wanted 4 but i've always wanted only 2...not sure why...but i think that dh feels "complete" now too...i'm pretty sure we're done, but i never say never. :)

[Thursday Girl]

i want another one, since i was 14 i have wanted four. dh said 2 we compromised on three. then he decided no just two, then said maybe three. i think three is good, i don't think we will do four unless i have twins next time.

i want to wait until Jewely is nine and josephine is six. June would be good. june 2012, thank you very much.

courtney

[Spark]

I like even numbers :bag:

Bethany, I'm with you -- 4 is cool! :thumb

Of course... 10 is an even number, too. :lol Just kidding!!!

I just have to cure myself of HG tendencies though. I'm going to do a cleanse in the fall when Joie will most likely be eating some solids.

I'm thinking... a baby in the spring of 2008 sounds nice. Anyone in with me???

[DesireeH]

I was pretty sure I was done when I was pg. Like 100%. Well now I am only about 90%. Okay, maybe 70%. HAHAHAHAHA I dunno. I kept 3 maternity things, jeans, jean skirt (long), and jean skirt (short) and ditched everything else. I asked dh "should I keep her baby clothes or are we done?" and he says " well I think we are done but if it happened it wouldnt be totally horrible." So whatever that means. HAHA!

He doesnt want a vasectomy though (when I was pg we were talking vasectomy but now he says no). So I guess we may or may not be done. Who knows. I do want to make sure that financially more is ok. I dont want dh to feel extra burdened or anything and I want to be able to take them travelling and help with cars, weddings, first houses......stuff like that like my parents did for me.

I'd love to have another homebirth. LOL But I am NOT a fan of BEING pg. And definately not anytime soon. I get too sick and my newborn deserves full attention right now.

[Spark]

oooh, desiree, let's be pregnant again together, ok? Spring of 2008???

[kris10s]

I've always wanted four and DH does too, but we're aiming for "two pairs" since we have two just 18 months apart. DH's family has this weird pencil thing where they predict how many kids you will have and which sexes and for both DH and I it said two girls and then two boys. We'll see...

[StarCat]

I think I might be but I'm not sure. We might like to have just one more but not close together like this. I need a few years and then I will reconsider. I'm with Desiree. I hate being pregnant but had such an awesome birth experience I would like to do that again. I am having some trouble adjusting to a new baby though.

who knows what the future will hold!

[spiralmg]

Yes, wouldn't it be fun to pregnant all together again?!

Well, two weeks ago, I would have said, "um, I don't know." But now I am back to wanting at least three again - now that I am feeling relatively back to normal, whatever that is. I'm not sure about the whole being pregnant thing, because I was so ill with DD. However, I REALLY want to do another birth again, because this one was so much better than the last, and I want to try again to do it even better...is that insane? Especially seeing as I am the only person in the whole world who has any sense of my own birth accomplishment...

So, if I can just keep my body together at the joints through this next 2 or so years of babywearing and night nursing...? That's what did me in with DS, but Kali is letting me sleep a bit more. We'll see!

Growing up it was only my little brother and myself. It seems like it would to have more siblings around. Or is that just self-justification? I think 3 or even 4 would be nice...

But, as I am writing this, I have one in a stroller and one in a front pack and BOTH ASLEEP and I had friends (i.e. help) over all day. So ask me again when I'm trying to deal with two little monsters both peeing, pooing, crying and hungry all at once when I am soaked with my own milk, stinky, unshowered and unfed and unchai-ed first thing in the morning ...

:blah

[Taedareth]

I'll join the Spring 2008 club! :thumb So let's see... note to self - must TTC during summer 2007. Ok!

I'm glad this subject came up. Right after the birth I felt strongly that I could never go through labor again. Even though in many ways it was the PERFECT birth and everything I wanted, there was still no getting around the fact that it was painful. Back labor is not my favorite thing. But at the same time I looked at my tiny baby and thought I'd like to have a few more like him.

At this point what I've come up with is this: labor is the opposite of fun. Next time I'm in labor I will be thinking all the same things as last time ("shoot me now! why didn't we adopt?!?"). BUT labor lasts for one day and the child lasts for a lifetime so it's going to be worth it!

DH and I would both like to have 4 kids. Well, he says he wants a baker's dozen but um..... we shall see. He grew up in a family of 4 kids and loved it, and I have only one sibling and wish I had more. So I think we'll be having a few more eventually.

FYI - my aunt has 4 kids and she said that the third one was the hardest to learn how to juggle more kids than parents, and how to get individual time with each child. But after 3 you just get it figured out, and the 4th child was easy to add to the family. Apparently many families feel the same way; 3 is the hump and after that you just groove with it :wink

[iris0110]

I am already considering another. But i want to wait until Tharen is at least three if not four. I had an IUD placed Monday, so there probably won't be an oops baby. Dh is a bit less enthused about more. I just feel like our family isn't done yet. And truthfully I would really love to have a little girl. When the nb phase is past dh will most likely be more open to the idea, but I want to get my body back in shape. I have lost all of the weight I gained with Tharen, but I still have a bit of weight left from Kearnan to lose. Plus my last two pregnancies have been very dramatic, and hard on my body. I would like to recover from that before getting pregnant again. We have also discussed adoption. We have talked about adopting a little girl from China. I would still like to be pregnant again though. I want to feel my baby growing inside of me, and be able to breastfeed. I really wanted a big family, I imagined myself on a farm with a bunch of little boys running around. But I like my kids spaced too far apart to have a very big family, plus we could never afford it. So maybe just one or two more.

[amygoforth]

Oh, oh, can I be in the Spring 2008 club too???

DH would love to stop at two, but I'm pretty certain I have at least one more babe in my future. And my MIL will disown us iffin we don't give her a girl. DH will need some convincing. Although, he and I both know that when it comes down to it, he's no match for my female wiles. :wink

He didn't want a winter baby either, and you see where that got him. :lol

[darkpear]

I'm torn. I don't think we could afford a third, since we can barely afford two. I never really saw myself having several kids, either. And right now I am near losing it some days with a newborn and a spirited toddler.

We definitely won't be having another baby anytime soon. I don't think I could handle this close a spacing again, honestly. I am very introverted, I crave quiet, and it's tough on me if I don't get a decent amount of time to myself every day. That was hard with just Amalie, and now that Moira's here too... well, you mamas know how it is :nut So count me out of the spring 2008 club. I could see joining Courtney in 2012 though... maybe... :innocent

Longterm, I'm just not sure. I would love the chance to raise a boy at some point. I want another homebirth, though that's a dubious reason to have a baby. And the thought of permanent BC just feels very wrong right now. Also, being poor is kind of perversely liberating, since planning to pay for one kid's college is as out of reach for us as paying for five!

I'm 29 and dp is 30, so there's no rush, regardless. Will definitely be using condoms for the foreseeable future, though.

[spiralmg]

And right now I am near losing it some days with a newborn and a spirited toddler.
:( :lol :o Ain't that the truth and enough to put the fear in ya? And therein lies the dilemma...

[Taedareth]

Also, being poor is kind of perversely liberating, since planning to pay for one kid's college is as out of reach for us as paying for five!


HAHHAAHHAAHAHAHA!!! :yeah:

[witchbaby]

I want another homebirth, though that's a dubious reason to have a baby. .
we swore we were done at 2, the boy wants a vasectomy, but now i'm finding myself wanting one more. and i'll admit, part of the reason is to get the homebirth i didn't with m. :crap

[Thursday Girl]

yeah someone else (even just possibly in the 2012 club)

one of the main resons to wait that long for us is that dh doesn't want to be a plumber he will in no way shape or form have another child until he isn't a plumber anymore. he took a break and became a mechanic but that won't pay the bills with a SAHM.

the other reason is i want more help fom the kids more understanding. i mean jewely helps a ton and understands a lot but i want older kids before i have another newborn. i want them in school so i csan bond with a new one like i was able to with jewely. i mean i see the diffrence between how i was with jewely and how i am with josephine, and i really liked what i had with jewely. i am not really to the oint of feeling guilty with osephine b/c i know she has diffrent advantages from jewely; like jewely herself whata great big sister!!!

anyways as far as birth goes with a third i think i can talk dh into homebirth but UC isn't happening unless maybe we have a fourth

it's all about stages
#1 midwife in hospital
#2 midwife in birthing center(he liked that so much better)

#3 midwife at home
#4 just us!! :lol

[Spark]

#5 Just you.
#6 Not even you show up for the birth! :lol

[birthjunkie27]

Claire, I love your before and after pic....to cute! And Josephine's new pic is SO beautiful. Really stunning. I need to update Samara's pic.

I'm thinking spring 2010. Then our kids will be 9, 7, and 4. I'm definately having a very hard time with the age spacing right now. Mikayla was 5 days shy of turning 2 when Jimmy was born. That wasn't too bad since Mikayla was an easy toddler. Jimmy on the other hand.....he'll be 3 next month and he's a big handful. He's great with the baby, but he is very spirited. It's also difficult focusing on Samara much because the older 2 need refereeing (sp?). Ex- Tonight we were on the way home from a wedding shower, me and the kids. Samara started crying (hates the carseat) and Mikayla started singing to her. Jimmy got mad and HE wanted to sing to the baby. So begins World War 3 in the back of the minivan. And poor screaming Samara stuck in the middle of it. And all I can do is drive and try not to lose my sanity.

I can definately see why going from 2 to 3 kids is the biggest hurdle. My biggest issue is trying to keep the peace between my older 2 with a newborn in my arms, or on my boob.

[DesireeH]

I'll join Spring 08 club......well maybe not. If Daphne is as spirited as Jevin.......then I'm done. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

#6 Not even you show up for the birth!

:lol ahahaha!

[DreamsInDigital]

Just hours after Winter's birth I was thinking about #4. I'm thinking of TTC in about a year or so.

[birthjunkie27]

About an hour after Samara's birth I told everyone in the room that I wanted to do it again. :lol

[Jeanne_L]

nak

always thought i'd have at least 2. i grew up as one of 5 and loved it. although i have to admit during labor thinking "why would anyone do this a second time? don't think i will!" ds is 6 weeks old now... the past 6 weeks have been such a blur of sleep-deprivation and nursing - i can't imaging how you mamas with 1 or 2 other little ones do it! now the idea of laboring again doesn't seem so bad... give me another couple of months and i might be willing to think about doing the nb stage again. i just might be in the spring 08 club, too. or maybe i'll start a new club: spring 2010. anyone want to join? dh keeps joking that this is the first of 9 (although i'm 31 so there's very little chance of that!). i think 2 is more practical for us b/c we love to travel and also we don't have a whole lotta $.

[atozmama]

I feel very full with four kids now, three of them spirited at best descriptions. I am looking at starting a second child in school with special ed services, the school is talking about selective mutism with her. My first has an autistic spectrum disorder and can be a handful at times. Then the 2 year old is just that 2, and so good at all those 2 year old behaviors. :wink Then Sam, he can be a very mellow babe at times, we'll see what his future holds.

We have planned on this being our last, DH and I are soon to be 41 and feel with 4 already we do not want to continue having kids into our 40's. However DH doesn't want a vasectomy like he talked about after Ella's birth. Now he denies ever having said anything about it :nut Birth control has always been a problem for us, all of our kids are suprise babies, some totally unexpected some kind of not trying to have a baby but not trying not to real diligently. I think there will always be a part of me that wants to be pregnant and give birth again. Then with Sam's labor being 50 min long, I think I am a good canidate for that not showing up for the birth labor, if I ever have another one!

[birthjunkie27]

Jeanne, in one of my ealier posts I said spring 2010 too. We can start the club together. :lol

[allnaturalmama]

I like this thread! :thumb

Here's my admission: for a combination of health and religious reasons, DH and I don't use BC. :D We're on an adventure, wondering just how many little blessings we'll end up with. So far, they've all been almost exactly 2 1/2 years apart (thanks to BFing), so if we continue at that pace, with about 10 or so years of fertility left, then maybe we'll end up with 7? I'm all for it! Motherhood is all I've ever dreamed of - my kids are a total joy - I love homeschooling, CDing, homemaking, etc, and can't imagine the day that we will no longer have babies in the house.

I'm weird, I know. :o


PS: atozmama, you're a hero! Those children are blessed to have you for their mama. :throb

[allnaturalmama]

Oh, and Spring '08 would be about 2 1/2 years, right? I'd love to join the club! :wink

[birthjunkie27]

Jen, I totally feel where you're coming from! I wish Dh would be on board for that kind of adventure with me...but it was hard to convince him for #3.....now I'll have to work really hard to convince him for #4.

I too can't picture the house with no babies in it. :(

[MistyB]

dp

[MistyB]

I really want number 3 and so does DH BUT I think we will stop at 2. School tuition, college tuition etc. I know we won't be able to provide everything we want to (fiscally) if we have more than 2.

But if we get wild..I want to get pregnant again in March of 08.

I really want to finish my PhD or become an MD (derm) someday and I will not go to school with a child under 3 or 4.

[hottmama]

During labor and for about a week or two afterwards, I said "DONE! Not doing that again!" even though I've always wanted 3-4.
Now, we are talking about having one more in several years- probably 2011-2012. My partner should have his Ph.D. by then (he's still an undergrad now) and make enough money for me to stay home with 3 kids. I'll be 27-28 and he'll be 31-32. That'll be strange for me, since my oldest son was born when I was 18.
Of course, we might change our minds and stick with the 2 we've got.

[aisraeltax]

yeah someone else (even just possibly in the 2012 club)the other reason is i want more help fom the kids more understanding.

i just had to laugh at this courtney! my 15 yo is NO HELP at all! on the other hand, the 7 yo is a major help w/ Ethan...but also demands alot of attention, which is generally OK, except at bedtime, which is our witching hour.

[aisraeltax]

i think this is it for me. :(
Ethan is dh's 2nd dc and only son and my 3d son.
i would have loved to have had a little girl, but that was just not in the cards for me.
i get to be a SAHM for a little while w/ Ethan but will have to go back to work soon (not sure how soon), since my first is only a few years from college.
since i have 3 boys spaced very far apart (almost 8 years between each of them), I have never experienced what you mamas do w/ more than one little one. and i don't think i could...E's preg. was so hard on me. He's a great baby, but the preg. was physically exhausting!
since i like the spacing, i doubt i could have another anyway, since i will be 38 in a few months.
can anyone tells this makes me sad??? :( i am glad to have my 3 boys, just kind of sad to appreciate that it will never happen again.
but at least i got my VBAC and w/ no meds! THAT was incredible! plus, E was a TOTAL surprise!!! i really thought i was done and since dh is older, never thought we would have any children together (talked about it, didn't try too hard to prevent it, but never actually tried to get preg. kwim?).

[birthjunkie27]

can anyone tells this makes me sad??? :(


:hug

[Panthira]

Before my DH and I got married 4 years ago, we discussed children. I was torn because in my situation I didn't think I wanted anymore. I was a single mother for 10 years in extremely difficult circumstances. My 14 year old son (10 at the time) still wore diapers, and needed assistance with every basic thing - feeding, drinking, etc. He cannot even sit up on his own and his speech is very difficult to understand. He has severe cerebral palsy and is legally blind because he is a twin and was born premature, and because of the miracle of modern medicine. I had his twin to consider, my daughter, who had no problems, but was getting the short end of the stick because I had to spend so much time and energy taking care of her brother. I took care of my children by myself, with absolutely no support from the community or family, and I really got to see peoples true colors with their prejudice and hate. I made the decision to let my son go to live with my mother who would get more support services not being the parent and required to pay for everything, like wheelchairs and therapy and an aide. My mother and I don't get along at all, so sadly I don't see my son much anymore.

To make a long story that could be much longer, shorter... My DH really wanted kids, but I didn't think I could put myself through it. I had just sacrificed everything I had in me, almost losing my spirit, raising the kids I had. We talked it over and I realized a part of me did want to have children with him, but I was terribly scared the same or similar situation could happen again. He promised he would be there no matter what and that he wouldn't leave me to take care of our children, that it would be an equal endeavor.

I had the two kids he always dreamed of having, and he has followed through with his part of the deal and has been there every step of the way. He is a wonderful father and I'm very lucky in so many ways. I'm also grateful and thankful that both of our kids seem ok, and I'm not pushing my luck any further. My DH will be getting the big V soon, and I can focus on our children, get my body back into shape, and plan for our future. I just turned 36, (my DH is 29) and we're very happy to stop here.

[judybean]

Here's my admission: for a combination of health and religious reasons, DH and I don't use BC. :D We're on an adventure, wondering just how many little blessings we'll end up with.

Same here... except not for any health reasons at all. Other than the unnaturalness of it all, I suppose ;)

I'm 26, dh is 27. We have PLENTY of years of fertility left! I'm excited about that. We'll see what we're blessed with, but I absolutely want at least four, so one more will certainly be in our future.

And no... we're not having more simply to 'try for a boy this time' ... I hate it when people say that. I would be perfectly content with all little girls -- they're no less than boys!

I'm not sure when we'll actively ttc, but sometime next year probably... otherwise we practice a bit of FAM with a bit of "Let's see what happens"... :flipped :bouncy

[Taedareth]

But if we get wild..I want to get pregnant again in March of 08.


Misty - you won't TTC, but you've already got the exact month planned out for when to have an "accident"? HEHE that's so cute. Have fun with that! :thumb

[wawoof]

We're probably done. The one thing that makes me think I could want another child is that I'm scared of something happening to one of the children we have and the other one being left as an only child. I was pretty much an only child growing up (because my brothers are so much younger) and did not like it because it was lonely. HOWEVER... DH definitely wants to be done after 2, and so does the practical part of me. DH and I work FT (when I'm not on leave and once he finds a new job here), and love our jobs, so we have to pay for daycare, which is insanely expensive. Pregnancy while working FT and having an older child was really hard. Also, I'm not sure if I could have another child and do what I need to do to get tenure. I love my job so I would be very sad if I could no longer do it 6 years from now... Housing where we live is insanely expensive, and a third child would mean needing a larger house (since our 2 boys can share rooms). For environmental reasons, I'd feel guilty having more than 2 (I'm not saying everyone should, but I would). I was much older than my brothers and resented having to care for siblings who were too young to relate to (though I love my brothers and can finally relate to them now that I'm 31 and they're 22 and 18!), and I don't want Ethan to feel the same way. We do lots of traveling (even just to see family, who are literally thousands of miles away) and outdoor adventures, which would be much more expensive and difficult with more than 2 kids.

So, barring an accident before DH gets a vasectomy, we're done. Funny how bittersweet it is to say that... and that I'm enjoying Galen's babyhood more than I did Ethan's because he's probably our last baby...