I hope this is ok to post--? about sex

[sbgrace]

I hope I'm not violating anything here. I don't know who else to ask and it isn't meant to be provocative.

My boys are almost two. Unfortunately, I had 2.5 hours of pushing including crowning but ended up with a C section. I know the pushing did some damage as they were concerned about my bladder and I had a lot of swelling.

Anyway, my sincere question/problem. I am finding that I can't feel the actual orgasm since the boys were born. I have all the sexual sensations prior to and build up and all then when I have an orgasm I know I have contractions (for lack of a better word) but no feeling at the actual moment. I never had this problem ever prior to the boy's arrival so I assume it is connected...but really I don't know if this is related to the birth (weak muscles or something else like that?) or psychological or what. Anyone--is this something that happens sometimes...is there something I can do? I hope this post is ok :innocent

[Melda]

kegles ... i would post more but i dont think we are allowed to talk about this here ..

[aussiemum]

I dunno.

I really think we should be able to post about things like this on this board. I mean, it is important if a woman feels like there has been a significant change in her sexual life following childbirth (& I reckon loss of orgasm is pretty darn important, tbh)

That said, I don't know that I have any useful advise to offer the OP. My libido has been pretty low for a while, & i don't think there's any direct connection to childbirth. (doesn't mean that it shouldn't be remedied, tho :shy )

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

How long ago did you give birth, and did you have a catheter?

I had some problems with this after my ds1 was born. 3 hours of pushing. No c section, but a lot of trauma. It took almost 3-4 months before things came back to normal, sounds very similar, felt all the build up and contractions, kind of numb to the rest. I 'm not sure, but I really felt like the catheter had done some damage to my clitorus, and that there was swelling for a long while that somehow interferred with the whole process.

[QueenOfTheMeadow]

Ok, I just checked your sig and it looks like you gave borth quite awhile ago. Ok, this is going to be a pretty personall question, so don't feel you have to answer, but can you pleasure yourself and have the O feeling? If you can, I'd say your not getting enough clitorus stim. during sex or it is some type of psycological issue wrapped up in child birth and motherhood.

[Lucky Charm]

I have no idea, but I think talking about sex in this way is allowed:

Discussions of a sexual nature should be within the realm of topics inherent to Mothering discussions such as sex after delivery, sex and the family bed, etc.

Cynthia is around, so I'm sure if this isnt ok shell let you know.

I hope you find an answer to this. Have you asked your doctor?

[Lucky Charm]

Ok, this is going to be a pretty personall question, so don't feel you have to answer, but can you pleasure yourself and have the O feeling? If you can, I'd say your not getting enough clitorus stim. during sex or it is some type of psycological issue wrapped up in child birth and motherhood.
Interesting.

I had a tough time enjoying myself after my first because I was terrified of getting pregnant, and was angry at my husband for something he said during the delivery.
(I'm fine now though. Thank Goodnesss)

[sbgrace]

I hope it is ok (this question). I checked the sticky and it seemed like a question that is applicable and appropriate...

Anyway, I did have a catheter but it was 2 years ago. It is the same result with partner or without so I don't think it is related to that at all. That is why I am so confused....I guess I should learn about kegels maybe that would help?

[hubris]

Are you still breastfeeding? I find that for me, BFing hormones make it harder to get a satisfying O. Kegels are also a good idea.

[dove]

You may need to look into the possibility of nerve damage. Looking for a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor rehabilitation would be a good first step. Hugs to you. I am going thru something similar and know how hard it can be. I would doubt your problem is "mental" since you feel all of the build up to orgasm and even the "contractions" - sounds like a nerve/sensation problem.

[annakiss]

Moved to Birth and Beyond...