OK Moms... How much stuff do I really need??

[nydiagonz]

So, I am a first time mom and I have been getting guidance from other mamma friends of mine. Some are like minded, some... not so much. My friend took me Target to make my baby registry and holy crappoly! Do I really need that much crap?!! She is quite the "consumer" chic and I am really trying to be a "bare necessities" gal. (I am a reformed pack-rat who comes from a long line of pack rats)

I guess my question is: What are the bare necessities? And what are the things that people get that you really don't need?

Things to keep in mind:
We live in a SMALL space
We are going to CD
We don't have a lot of $, but we do have a registry and people wanting to spoil us/baby.

Thanks for your help!!

[Nanners]

If it's your first baby, I guarantee you'll wind up with more of everything than you need, so you might as well register for useless stuff you actually like... :lol Seriously, though... you need about 2 dozen dipes to start with, along with covers, a boppy (was indispensable for me while dealing with the "I don't have enough hands" early bf phase), some lansinoh, a sling, and enough clothes and blankets to change baby a few times a day. Everything else, honestly, will just get in your way!

[~*max*~]

Of course a car seat is a neccessity. That is a great one to register for, bc sometimes a few people will go in on it together and you can get a really nice one. I like the travel systems, that have an infant car seat w/a stroller it can attach to.

For clothes, think practical,bc w/a first baby you will get a ton of frilly, useless stuff if you don't choose it yourself (and sometimes even if you do!). I like all cotton, one piece baby clothes - like terry cloth sleepers and those baby bags that look like gowns and/or double as a blanket. Also, register for bigger sizes, bc most people will buy newborn size and baby will outgrow those before he/she even gets to wear them all.

Have fun!

[Brinda]

I found a changing table completely unnecessary. I just change baby wherever I am. I did like some changing pads for like if I changed them on the bed or floor. Definitely a diaper pail/liner. I really liked having a bassinette AND crib. I didn't co-sleep after about 6 months old, though. I co-slept, and used the bassinette when baby was napping and I was up and about. I also have a sling, car seat is a great registry item as mentioned by pp, socks can double as mittens (I found actual mittens too loose and fell off), definitely several clothing changes, they were forever having blowouts the first couple months. All the kids really liked a bouncy seat when they were starting to sit up for a little bit each day. They loved the vibration and trying to reach the hanging toys. For when they do start to eat solids much later in life, I really liked the booster chairs with the tray rather than a high chair. They got to sit WITH the family.

[busybusymomma]

Hmm, IMO:

*carseat (this is a good item to register for, so you can get a nice one)
*stroller (I don't like most travel systems because the stroller is too bulky, but I do use a stroller sometimes and want one especially since I don't use the infant carseat)
*pouch(es)/wrap(s)/sling(s)
*diapers, cloth or sposie
*someplace safe to lay baby during your shower/potty breaks like a moses basket, bouncy seat etc
*clothes
*Boppy or My Brest Friend pillow
*burp clothes (my kids don't spit up, but I spray go figure)

That's all we used. The extras like swings and all that paraphernalia doesn't get used with dd so we got rid of them. We used a bouncy seat for a safe place to lay ds until he could sit up and then we used a hand-me-down exersaucer. We live in a small house too so if it doesn't get used I give it away!

[radicalmama]

:yeah:

diapers, wipes, sling, carseat, blankies, sleepers, onesies, caps...

you can get by on that. everything else is pretty much gravy and some stuff is even harmful IMO (I think especially stuff that replaces you...i.e. bucket car seats, bouncers, walkers, pacifiers, etc....just carry your kid for ****sakes.)

sleep w/ your babe. elimantes all most of the stuff you'll need for a nursery.

[rootzdawta]

Hmm, IMO:

*carseat (this is a good item to register for, so you can get a nice one)
*stroller (I don't like most travel systems because the stroller is too bulky, but I do use a stroller sometimes and want one especially since I don't use the infant carseat)
*pouch(es)/wrap(s)/sling(s)
*diapers, cloth or sposie
*someplace safe to lay baby during your shower/potty breaks like a moses basket, bouncy seat etc
*clothes
*Boppy or My Brest Friend pillow
*burp clothes (my kids don't spit up, but I spray go figure)

That's all we used. The extras like swings and all that paraphernalia doesn't get used with dd so we got rid of them. We used a bouncy seat for a safe place to lay ds until he could sit up and then we used a hand-me-down exersaucer. We live in a small house too so if it doesn't get used I give it away!


Seriously, this is all I needed plus somewhere to keep the babies clothes (a chest that I got from the thrift store). We got a lot of stuff from people which I try out but since I also live in a small house once I realize ds could care less about it, I chuck it. IMO, it's better to have just the basics and then add the other little things to make life easier slowly.

BTW . . . congrats on your soon-to-arrive baby!! :balloons

[saritabeth]

This is the list I think is good for a registry....
~Car seat and infant one and a reversable one for when they are 20+ lbs.
~Snap and go...(my last babe was a may baby and a snap and go to pop the car seat into for very brief winter errends that required me to put baby down. You can use both hands and you do not have to unbundle baby or undo the car seat for running into the post office)
~A light weight stroller...I have a combi and Love it!! I used it very little as a babe cause I used a
~sling...My kid lived in her's until she was about 18 months. I used it much more than the stroller until that point.
~Pack and Play. . . they have a changing table top which can be helpful in the middle of the night. I used it more when my baby was older and actually liked the confinement. It was a safe place for her to be while I showered and she loved being in there with a few toys.
~Skip Hop diaper bag. Really slim, afforadable as far as specialty diaper bags go, and plenty of space for mom and babys things when you are out and about.
~Boppy
~Guard rail for your bed if you are planning on co-sleeping. I liked that better than being against the wall.
~a nice non-spill water bottle to keep in your bed when you get very thirsty at 3 am while nursing.
This isn't the 'Crunchiest' List that has been posted, but I found all these items to be the most indespensable for me. I didn't have the snap and go last time and I found it a royal pain in the neck to always be holding that crap car seat in the winter when I just had to run in somewhere for a short time and didn't want to unbundle and rebundle to use the sling.

I also really liked the Baby Bargains book. It is more mainstream but they have really good reviews on what stuff people actually used and what stuff is unnecessary. They also have real parent reviews on how light/easy/reasonable stuff is.

I nearly had a heart attack the first time I walked into a huge baby superstore....Just remember, they are marketing to you and you really don't need every gizmo some moron invented ;)

congrats!! I love that I am having another may baby...its the best in my opinion!!

[L'lee]

I also really liked the Baby Bargains book. It is more mainstream but they have really good reviews on what stuff people actually used and what stuff is unnecessary. They also have real parent reviews on how light/easy/reasonable stuff is.

A agree, I don't think it's as helpful at saving money as they would have you believe (they insist on getting items that are totally unnecessary), but their reviews of different brands of each item were very helpful, and also their information about safety features to look for and avoid.

You all have some good lists going, I'm also registering for some blankets, clothing, books, and good quality (and QUIET!) toys. Thought those might be nice things for the people attending the shower who want to get something we want that stands alone well at a lower price.

[busybusymomma]

Yes, non battery operated toys are so great after your kids have been given too many loud plastic toys. :hammer

[Bellasmom]

We didn't feel the need for a swing, especially since we lived in a small apartment when dd was born. We rec'd one of the small portable ones as a gift, and dd really liked it. It was a nice alternative to her carseat or Moses basket when I needed to put her down for a quick shower, etc. - it was really easy to move from room to room.
I'll second the comment on the guard rail for the bed - our headboard does not allow the bed to be flush against a wall, and our bedroom doesn't really work for that either. Also a vote for a booster seat that attaches to a chair - we didn't use our highchair much because it was just too huge for our small space.
We had a changing table last time, but we had a large bathroom (handicapped accessable apt.). This time there is no room, so I am planning on using the one on our pac 'n play. I didn't use the pac 'n play much with dd, but I think it will get more use this time as a place to keep dd off of the baby!
Angela

[ChattyCat]

Here's my essential list:

~boobs
~diapers and wipes (cloth or sposie, just something to cover and clean baby's bum)
~clothes for the babe
~nursing pillow
~car seat
~"The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears
~sling or pouch (if you and dh are different sizes, I would get one for each of you)
~swing or bouncer (there will be times, when you need to put baby down and baby doesn't want to be on a flat surface, like the bed or floor)

You don't really need a highchair or booster until the babe is at least 6 months. I'd hold off on that. You could probably get them seat, when it's time to put away the swing/bouncer. That way you wouldn't have too much stuff laying around.

Definitely sleep with your babe, if it works for you. It's so much easier, and less stuff to buy.

The 'Baby Bargains' book does have some good info, but I find their ranking system rather inconsistent. The authors seem to have their favorites, and it plays into the final grades they give. I think the actual paragraphs written on the various items are much more useful than the letter grades they assign.

And, I don't know if my friends and family are weird or something, but with ds I got almost no clothing in NB, 3 mo, or 6 mo sizes. I ended up going to the Carter's outlet and stocking up on cheap sleepers. I would register for an assortment of sizes. And, definitely pick some stuff out that you actually want, or you're likely to end up with tons of frilly, dressy, useless clothing.

I do have a changing table that I really like, but I don't think they're necessary. We don't have a pack n play or anything like that. I keep our changing table in our family room, where we spend most of our time at home. It has two open shelves. On the bottom shelf are two huge baskets with toys that ds can get into himself. On the second shelf are two huge baskets with CDs. I keep the wipes, butt spray, butt balm, thermometer, nose sucker, etc in a little compartment on the top. I actually used the top to change ds until he was about 9 months old. Right now (until dd shows up), I took the changing pad off and have two smaller baskets on the top with wool covers and my current knitting projects. While not required, it has made for a convenient storage location. And, it looks pretty nice in the room.

HTH. Good luck! I hope you get all the stuff you want and nothing you don't! :D

[babydoll]

Sometimes it is not a great idea to be holding your baby. For instance. Not a safe idea to be slinging your baby over a hot stove. You might want to take a shower sometime too! You need a safe place to put your baby down!

[NYCVeg]

Sometimes it is not a great idea to be holding your baby. For instance. Not a safe idea to be slinging your baby over a hot stove. You might want to take a shower sometime too! You need a safe place to put your baby down!

I have to agree with this. While I plan on slinging most of the time, it really bugs me when people equate owning a swing/bouncer/or especially an infant car seat (see the car seat thread) with lazy parenting--what if you live in a hot climate and don't want to leave the seat in the car? What if your babe is a super light sleeper and you'd rather not wake her to get her out the seat for a 5 minute errand? Owning a product does not mean that one will misuse it. While dh and I are not getting a swing or an exersaucer, we ARE getting a bouncer, so that if I need to take a shower or pee, I can put my baby down for five minutes, but still have her near me in a safe place. I don't think this makes me a bad or lazy parent.

[busybusymomma]

Hey Amanda- this may not really apply to you since this is your first (ie. not an older child to sit on the bouncy and make it lose it's bounce) but my mom friends have been happier with seats like the FP Infant Seat to Toddler Rocker (http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/601-7687664-8899310?%5Fencoding=UTF8&coliid=IQM2KL6O6AYGN&asin=B0002ZOI9W&colid=2OTOQV7MF001N&bckreg=lc). I had the FP Ocean Wonders bouncy seat (because I won't cook while babywearing, personally). I ended up getting rid of the bouncy seat for a variety of reasons and I'm registering for the seat/rocker instead. :)

PS- I did like having an infant seat for dd, a January babe but it's just too darn awkward for me to carry so I'm not using one this time. My arm and leg were so sore from hooking the seat on my arm and the seat banging my leg while I walked. I'm only 5'2" and a big wimp despite working out regularly. :lol I am buying a decent stroller to use when I'm not wearing baby though. :thumb

[nydiagonz]

I have really learned a lot reading your responses! Thank you! It is great to hear the different opinions and necessities that each of us have. I have heard a lot of people say that they don't use their changing table, so am getting one that is really more of a small dresser to put clothes and dipes in. I am definitely getting a few slings and I *think* I am registering for one of the travel systems that have the infant carseat that snaps into the stroller. I also have a moeses basket that my friend gave me that seems like it will be perfect for the scenarios you all described (shower, etc.) As for the bouncy chairs or whatever, my friend gave me hers, so if I feel like we need it, I will pull it out of the storage room.

I will be bringing babe to work with me after a few months :thumb (I love my job!), so I am going to have to see what will work in that space. I am bringing in a rocking chair for my breast feeding corner in my office and I am not sure what else because I can't really visualize what a 3 month old would be content in besides my lap (which is good too!).

I think this thread is so helpful so keep them ideas comming mamas!!

[NYCVeg]

PS- I did like having an infant seat for dd, a January babe but it's just too darn awkward for me to carry so I'm not using one this time. My arm and leg were so sore from hooking the seat on my arm and the seat banging my leg while I walked. I'm only 5'2" and a big wimp despite working out regularly. :lol I am buying a decent stroller to use when I'm not wearing baby though. :thumb

Oh, believe me...as another "short and wimpy", I am NEVER planning on carrying the baby in the infant seat--honestly, I can hardly lift the seat itself--I can't imagine how I'd manage if there was actually an infant in it!. Because I can't drive (and therefore won't ever be using the car seat alone), I wouldn't even have an opportunity to. Our main reason for getting the car seat was that the stroller we liked was for bigger babies, and the infant car seat can snap into it when/if we (or, more likely, the grandparents) want to use it. We also like that when we want/need to take cabs, the infant seat can be strapped in w/o a base, so I feel much safer that way.

I certainly think there are legitimate reasons and times NOT to use an infant seat...I just get my hackles up now and again when I come across posts that imply that anyone who puts their baby down for five minutes is somehow not AP enough. :p :D

[ChattyCat]

We didn't have an infant seat with ds, because there's no way I was going to carry one of those things around anywhere. I'd seen some friends with them, and I hated them. But, this time around I am getting one.

The Britax companion (had I bought it for ds) would have lasted until he was around 15-16 months. When he was really little, I could just pull him out of his seat and pop him in the sling, and he'd stay asleep no problem. But, as he got older, he couldn't make that transition. I spent a lot of time just sitting in the car, once we had already reached our destination. So, I only plan on pulling it out of the car when we're either at home and the baby's asleep or when we go to my ILs and she's asleep. I just really think it will be nice to have for these situations.

Also, you do need somewhere to put the baby, when you're cooking on a hot stove or trying to take a shower. I found the swing great for when I was cooking, and I usually placed the bouncer on the floor right outside of the shower. Trust me, I held ds almost constantly, but it's not always practical. I think it's great that we have tools to help us out as moms. The important thing is to not over use the stuff, which I can't imagine anyone on this site really doing anyway.

[newmainer]

a few other things we loved that have not been mentioned:

- sheepskin... so nice for laying down on the floor, under a changing pad, and later on as a stroller/jogger seat pad. we've used ours a ton.
- a wrap (like a Moby)... i couldn't use the pouch/sling for the life of me when dd was born. it was so complicated (it felt like, cause i had no experience); she cried every time i tried to put her in and it felt like she got all folded up. The Moby was easy, cheap, supportive and she loved it.
-kimonos... there are some adorable all cotton/organic cotton kimonos that are easy to put on. i love them way more than gowns (which always seem to ride up) and onesies... they don't go over the head.
- lansinoh cream for you for bf'ing
- cordless phone (if you don't already have one)
- baby nail clippers! those suckers get long and adult ones don't work.
- bulb syringe for getting out boogers. you'll use it!!

i totally used the bouncy seat. awesome for when i was cooking dinner, taking a shower or when dd was just fussy and did not want to be held, which did happen. i agree with a previous poster. just because you get the gear does not mean that you will abuse it. hey- if someone else is buying it for you, then it's no money out of your pocket and you use it as you need it.

[strawberryprincess]

In addition to some of the other great ideas pps have mentioned, you may want to register for baby-proofing stuff (outlet covers, cabinet locks, etc.) these are nice things for people to buy for you, when you don't want them to buy all that extra crap you won't need/use.
also, pp mentioned baby syringe and nail clippers. there are some nice grooming sets out there. a good thermometer is also really handy to have. i like the ear one--a Braun, i think, is what we have. a baby bathtub is also a nice thing to have, but certainly not essential, for the early months before baby can sit up. we used the kitchen sink from 6 to 12 months...so much nicer on the back.

[JuicyPakwan]

Maybe this was already mentioned but if there are alot of people wanting to spoil you ( very cool!) I would see if they wanted to go in on a nice rocking chair/rocking recliner. I got a good one when ds ws 4 mo old. It is my night companion very necessary imo. I do use the excersaucer once in a while when they are in the crawling stage too big for bouncer and I really need them to stay put and entertained for a few min (dinner shower etc.)but that might be just me. But it rarely lasts for more than 15 min just enough time to get it done. Actually now the excersaucer is more entertaining for the older kids they crowd around baby who loves the attention and play with the baby toys.

[lacysmommy]

*Someplace to put all your baby's clothes, blankets and diapers. Maybe a dresser with a changing table top, so you have a dual-functioning piece of furniture?
*Someplace to set your baby down when you have to do things like take a shower or cook dinner (bouncer seat, swing, or even infant car seat will work)
*A container to toss your dirty diapers in (I use a garbage can with a lid, the kind that you step on to open, and it has a seperate liner inside, makes it easier to tote to the washer)
*Carseat (I like convertable carseats, Britax Roundabout is my fav)
*Stroller (more for when they're older, I like my Combi better than the big ones that come with the infant carrier, I hardly used my stroller until DD was close to a year old)
*Sling(s)
*Clothes-- essentials for me were night gowns, socks and onesies. You'll get enough cute baby clothes from everyone that you can still have enough to dress baby up once in a while. And as far as snaps on baby clothes go, fewer is better!!!
*2 -3 dozen diapers, 6 covers if required for the type of diaper you use(I like fitted diapers and wool covers best)
*4-6 blankets

[MOM2ANSLEY]

If you have lots of people who want to spoil you , you may as well register for stuff you want so you don't have lots of stuff you don't.
Here is my list of needed things....remember to plan ahead...babies grow fast.

Infant carseat
Toddler carseat
Umbrella stroller...if you are gonna use one
Blankets
Clothes in larger than nb sizes
Bedrail if you are gonna co-sleep
Bassinette/pack-n-play if you are not co-sleeping...sheets
Waterproof pads, for burping and the bed
Boppy and extra covers
Diaperbag
Feeding supplys for later...spoons,bibs,etc
Pump,bottles to store ebm
Towels,washcloths
Small seat to put baby in once able to take tablefoods instead of hichair
Small portable swing...we used this a lot...dd had reflux so she often slept there...folds up and will slide under bed to ger out of the way.
Parenting books
Board books for baby
Target also has some wooden baby/toddler toys...look in toy dept.

[nitareality]

I think you have a fairly complete list!

I wanted to add that I also believe it's not the equipment, in most cases, that prevents attachment parenting, but how it's used. I have a "bucket" because that is the style of car seat I felt comfortable with, a swing AND a bouncy chair, and still manage to be very attached to my baby. :love

I would say that a sling/pouch AND a wrap would be very high on my list of "needs" though. :thumb I would recommend a stretchy t-shirt fabric wrap for summer, very breezy and comfy, but the stretch is great for a newborn.

I put a changing pad on a dresser (attached with hardware) for a changing table and loved it. Well, not past tense, it's still there. I had a c/s though, so a changing table meant I didn't have to bend a lot. This would be low on my priority list though, because we only *really* used it for about 3 mos.

If you're doing CD's, you may want to look into a wet bag instead of a can style diaper bag...there are some that you can hang on a door knob that I like. Don't forget the cloth wipes too....

DS lived in sleepers and gowns until it was warm enough to go in t-shirts and bottoms. We didn't/don't find onesies useful with CDs.

We used our boppy a lot. We actually lived out of a really nice little cutlery basket someone got me to tote around with a bottle of water, a book, nipple ointment and breast pads...for the first 6-8 weeks. For me, it would have been nice to know to have a tube of anti-fungal ointment around along with a print out of Dr. Newmans thrush protocol to add to that basket for just in case. :lol

I do definitely agree with the spirit of saying that what baby really needs are you and your breasts. Safety equipment comes next and the rest is really extra!

[saritabeth]

I just wanted to chime in again about the infant car seat. My last babe was a may baby and I wasn't even going to get the infant seat cause I didn't want to schlep it around...Im a massage therapist and it really is very bad for your body to always lug one of those things around. The only big however is that once winter comes it is **really** nice to leave them in the seat and not unbundle them. I really didn't like any of the travel systems because the stroller was so big and clunky. I got a nice lightweight combi stroller that folds and is super easy to take in and out of the car. This time around im going to get a Snap n Go which is a stroller frame that the car seat fits into.

I used the sling a lot and in nice weather it was easier to sling her than lug baby and carseat around. But there really are errends and weather that make those seats nice.

Anyway....I hate the travel systems...big, cumbersome, heavy, hard to manuver.

good luck!! You have so many great suggestions.