who is burned out?

[meowee]

Who else here (SAHM-specific) is burned out?

I'm just SO TIRED.

I have five kids. Nursing baby sleeps randomly. One night is 11pm-8am; the next night is 3am-11am. And so on.

Four year old SCREAMS instead of talking. Even if she's happy, she SCREAMS. And she is mean to her 2 older siblings. Demands things every other minute. :(

I feel like we're all getting lost in our own shuffle. I just want to retreat and tune out. I know I have to snap out of this but I am soooooo tired and burned out.

They're watching TV a lot. I can't stand being in the same room when it's on so I go into a different room to "escape."

edit: OMG, you can now post without being screened? How long has this been happening? That always drove me nuts lol!!

Anyone else? Rant away.

[L&IsMama]

:Hug
I hear ya. Except I only have 2 kids,so its probably no where near as bad over here,lol.
I have an lamost 3 yr old who's new obsession is to throw food everywhere instead of eating it. He also likes to fight with his 15 month old brother ALL the time over ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. :hammer Then I have a 15 month old who's cutting molars and likes to pee on the floor. :rolleyes (thank God for hard floors).
I also understand the TV thing. I hate it too,and my oldest has been watching WAAY too much lately. I guess we're all stuck in a major rut here. The only thing that helps a little is when dh comes home,then he helps out alot,and occasionally I will go out for a while sans kids. Who knew going grocery shopping could be so relaxing and peaceful? ;)

Hope you get some rest soon,and a well deserved break! :hug

[meowee]

I hope you get some rest too.

I would be ok with my toddler watching TV a lot if it would get her out of our hair, but then the older ones see her watching and feel hurt that they can't watch, and I always break down and let them :(.

My big excitement is going to the grocery store. :? And even then I have at least the baby with me, usually the baby and the 2 older ones.

It breaks my heart how they fight. The 4 y.o. is SO antagonistic. Grabs, pushes, screams. :( Why can't they all be sweetie pies?

[GranoLLLy-girl]

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
I have to tell this not so funny story. Tonight, I was taking my two to My-Gym for the first time for "free play".
I park in just about the only available parking spot, which happens to be in front of a work trailer (construction across the street). I get the kids out of their car seats and start walking them towards the building. Just then, a man walks up to me and asks me if I can move my car because "maybe" they will be using the trailer.
I have never been uglier and more abrasive then just at that moment.
I told him what an SOB he was for not saying anything until AFTER I had gotten the kids all the way out of the car (carseats are a pain in the butt).
And I just went off on him.
He was like: well, it's common sense not to park in front of a trailer.
I said--hey A$$ H-- it's common sense to take some of the orange cones out of the trailer that are sitting there on top and put them in the parking space if you expect to own it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh. I am burned out--my kids thought that I was putting them back in the car to go home so they just went INSANE and started screaming that they wanted "to go!" (meaning to the gym--they saw all these other little kids standing there).
Sometimes I just hate the world--I am tired, have no help and feel like people are taking up too much of my space and time. I know, that's awful--but I am so burned out.
Thanks for letting me vent, too.

[meowee]

I remember being sick of carseats. Now after five I go into robot mode and can get them in and out very, very fast, even when they're screaming and writhing.

I remember my neighbor (had triplets, naturally conceived) around the time her kids were five got ready to put her kids in the van, then grabbed all the carseats, threw them in the trash, looked at me, and said, "I'm sick of these." and I guess the kids just used the lapbelts from that point on. :shock:

[MommyMine]

Oh yeah...but there ar still many miles to go before I sleep!

When it gets bad I try to re-evaluate my schedule, refocus on my reason for staying home, and get more time off-get more MNO going and so forth.

[GranoLLLy-girl]

meowee---LOL! :lol I can't help but laugh. Carseats--I get that they save lives, but I am sick to death of in out, "my strap is TWANGLED"--"too tight"--"too loose"---"I dropped my XYZ can you get it PUL--EEESE MOMMMMEEEE!"

[saintmom]

SAHMing is hard work,exhausting work.Thats what a freind told me their marriage counselor told her dh.Like Duhhhhhh!


It is winter.Prime burnout season. Heres some tricks that have gotten me through it.

Go Out alone.Let dh watch the kids.Go to the library,mall or for a long walk,just make sure you get some me time.

Susan weed has a postpartum tea that I still drink :lol It tastes like grass but its cheaper than prozac and probably works better.I use big handfuls of nettle ,oatstraw and alfalfa.Lemon balm,sckullcap and motherwort in smaller amounts if I have it.Put it all in a 2 qt kettle of boiling water and turn off the heat.let it simmer till cool.Strain and enjoy.Put the extra in a two qt mason jat in the fridge.and drink it up in 2 or 3 days.

This is also the time of year to paint and do palydough,make cookies and build tents,read out loud and thenpretend play what you read.It is possible to turn off the tube and do some constructive stuff.After you've had a break :thumb

[marybethorama]

Hi,

I only have 3 (see sig) and I just dread the evening hours. Dinner, dishes, laundry (they need clean uniforms for school), homework (2 state reports due and printer is out of paper and ink), kids are hyper.

I just want to run away.

Last night I was a horrible mom. I got so frustrated and yelled at the kids.

I apologized but I did feel bad.

Even when I don't yell, I just feel so drained by the time they go to bed, I have to crawl in too. So much for private time.

I want a vacation on a (childfree) tropical beach with a nice young hunk to bring me cold drinks. :lol

[Eman'smom]

Count me in, at times just hearing MOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYYY makes my skin crawl and bloodpressure rise.


Oh and the carseat thing, luckily mine sit in them fine, but the straps are always "too tight" they want them looses enough to crawl in without buckling, try telling a 4 year old that isn't safe. :down

[meowmix]

oh, I was burned out until I read your post! :Hug You do sound burned out!

I am only burned out because my husband has a second (low hour) job that has him working part of the weekend and some nights. He is also looking for a job in another state. So he is working alot andI am not used to it yet.

Everyone here is going through an anti-nap phase, especially my baby who HATES napping more than like 15 minutes at a time (once a day) and is teething molars and about to hit a milestone- walking- and so doesn't sleep well at night. I have never seen a baby exist off so little sleep. My 4 yr old sleeps more than her! :irked:

So I am burned out a little. But my 4 yr old and 2 yr old play very well together and they actually all 3 get along pretty decently. So no complaints there!

[3_opihi]

I want a vacation on a (childfree) tropical beach with a nice young hunk to bring me cold drinks. :lol

Well, I live on a tropical beach with a semi nice, semi young hunk and I am STILL burnt. :lol

Seriously, it is so hard. It's just constant chaos. And it seems like as my kids get older there is MORE to do --homework, sports, school, birthday parties, church stuff. It never seems to end. I'm just constantly going. Sigh.

I decided to go back to work for one full day, and one 4 hour day. We'll see how it goes. Even if it doesn't work out, it will be nice to have the break for a little while.

[jlpumkin]

Well bless your hearts! I too thought I was burned out until I read these posts. Hopefully the sunshine will return soon and scoop us all out of the blahs... Or at least get the snot monster out of our house! That's what i'm blaming my burnout on - all of us sick for too long!

[zannster]

Isn't everyone on this site (or in this forum anyway) at least a little burnt out? LOL

I sometimes feel burnt out...though I only have one child, and my life would probably seem incredibly simple to all you mamas with multiple children. I've just always been a solitary person (spent most of my time alone), so the 24/7 parenting thing is tough sometimes. I still haven't decided if I'll ever take on having any more children! I might go completely insane! :nut

[Jenlaana]

Thank you SO much for this post!!! I only a 10 yr old and a 3 month old and sometimes (especially in the evening) I feel like just running away and hiding in a closet somewhere. I think my husband thinks I'm just exaggerating sometimes. What has made me feel a LOT better, has been getting out and away for a couple hours. Twice I've gone for coffee with another adult where we could just sit in the coffee shop and munch something sinful or drink my favorite coffee and talk, without kids crying or fussing or husbands or phones or anything. It was SOOO relaxing. And it was the first excuse I've had in months to get dressed 'up'. I felt like a human being again by the time I got back. Of course that feeling has faded and I feel beat down and run over again... :)

[cam&kat's_mom]

I so hear you ladies. I am burned out majorly!! I only have 2 of my own but i care for a littel girl 4 months older than my dd. I am so tired of even playing. I just want to retreat to a littel locked room and go pee withotu an interruption! Ilove my kids dearly adn love being homew with them but there honestly is a breaking point. I mena inal reality why do you think employers give their employees vacation time??!!! BURNOUT!!! over worked in teh sam mundane environment is jjust not healthy! I so long for a personal day :wink
And i agree our TV is on WAY TOO much!! I just want to bite Dora's littel head of fcause shes' so cheery all the time!! RRGGHH! :irked: Ok feel better now. Off to turn TV off. And find something else to do.. Oh and it's not liek the weather helps at all. IT's freezing cold and nasty one day and then warm enough to melt al teh snow the next adn then it rains for 4 days makign everythign all mud!

[Raychel]

I only have two boys and I work, but winter is tough around our house. The kids want out, but in Massachusetts, it's too cold. We play lots of board games when I'm home and the kids (2yo & 4yo) are learning lots about colors, numbers (2yo) and gaming strategy, simple addition/subtraction, capital/lowercase letters (4yo) from our games.

One of my new year's resolutions this year was to do more cultural or "quality" time with the kids. So, that means I turn off the TV if it kills me. When I was a SAHM, this was something that I had to make a huge effort to do, and the kids whined, but tough for them. They got one Dora and one Go, Diego, Go a day. :) We're planning trips to the Aquarium and Children's Museum, and we do a craft about every other week. It's not much, but they really do enjoy crafts. Last week, we made caterpillars from egg cartons, pipe cleaners, and googley eyes.

I'm burned out from getting up at 6am (after being up multiple times at night for the 2yo or having to change sheets when the 4yo wets the bad - he's trying really hard), getting ready for work, working until 6pm, commuting home, cooking dinner, spending time to play with the kids, adn then doing the full bedtime routine. I also then work 1-2 hours after the kids go to bed. I'm really tired. And I crave me time just to go running alone or do shopping. I switched to home delivery groceries because I resented my only free time being spent on grocery shopping, but the jokes on me. Now, I don't get out alone because I don't have to grocery shop.

Well, they're only young once, right?

[JayGee]

Count me among the burnt out. I only have 2 children, but am pregnant with #3 due in May. The burnout gets bad this time of year. We were TV free since October until about 2 weeks ago when I caught a bad cold and put in a video here or a PBS show there. Now it's part of our daily routine again. Sigh....

DS (4) doesn't nap at all so my afternoons are spent in entertainment mode. Can I just say how much I loathe playing matchbox cars??? Luckily he also enjoys baking, playdoh, and games, so we try and do one of those each day. Plus read a lot of books. DS is very creative in his play, but not so good about cleaning up his messes. This afternoon he took every single towel out of the linen closet and spread them up and down the hallway, into the kitchen and around the livingroom. He said it was "snow" and proceeded to go sledding around the house for 40 minutes :lol. Guess who just ended up folding about 40 towels?

DD (22mo) is an antagonizer. She likes to hit her brother and then come crying to me saying that HE hurt HER. She's one to watch :lol. Luckily, she still takes a good 2-3 hour nap every afternoon.

Mornings are fine ~ preschool 3x a week, library, playgroups, etc. keep us all busy and happy, but my afternoons drag on interminably. I can't wait to be able to play outside again. The messes seem much huger in the house than outside.

[3_opihi]

You know what has really helped me? It sounds silly, but Napster. Everytime I feel like turning on the TV, we go find something on Napster and put some music on. Changes the whole mood of the house, seriously. I ahve noticed that TV makes my kids insane. No TV and they will quietly find an activity to do.

Also, I've been trying to have some friends over to for the kids to play with in the afternoon. Destroys my house, but it keeps them out of my hair and gives them someone to play with. Also, its nice to work out a trade with other parents, so they can take your kid for the afternoon too!

[GranoLLLy-girl]

Hey ya'll--just want to chime in--don't say: I ONLY have X number. ANY number of babies--or even pregnant with NO babies/kids/etc.,--is a lot of work.
I think we do ourselves a disservice (and feed into the societal stereotype that we do nothing) by saying that we "only" have or whatever.
We ALL work hard--no matter how many kids we have. :love
Each of our children require different things--I have one with special needs and one who is 2 going on 22---but the person with 8 might have 8 easy-to- please, helpful kids.
Anyway--give yourselves a big break.
I have a PhD and find that staying at home is a KILLER compared to getting that degree and working in my field for a few years (I am 41). My kids are 2 and 4. I will never see this staying at home as a "break" or easy or whatever. Afterall, just think of all those times you hear: I could never stay home. It just goes to show how hard this really IS.
Hang in there ladies, this too shall pass. :throb I hope...

[KayasMama04]

I feel a little drained since now its just me taking care of dd and she is hitting the terrible ones

[TanyaS]

Boy do I ever feel burned out in the winter months. Not only that but we've had a crazy timeline of events all fall and winter. We moved at the end of September, lived with SIL for a month while house hunting. We moved into the new house, I found out we're expecting our 3rd baby that we weren't planning for about 30 days later, the day before Thanksgiving. The holidays hit right afterward.

I've been nauseous and tired all Nov/Dec/Jan. :sick My inlaws (who we moved to live closer to) are all crazy. Their lives are way different than ours - think Jerry Springer, and that's no exaggeration. So it's drama every week with them. :nut

Plus I have a 4yo and a 16 mo and just starting to make friends for us all. We lost our church home when we moved, and are still without a spiritual home base (makes everything feel out of whack). I've had added anxiety scrambling for prenatal care and planning another VBAC in a new place. I want to consider homebirth, but hubby is terrified at the thought and will barely discuss it.

Ugh. Can't wait until the flowers start blooming and things turn green again. :flower :sunshine My house is always a wreck and no one cleans up but me unless I just stop cleaning. This is why hubby did several loads of laundry and washed all the dishes yesterday. :guilty

Thanks for lending an ear, ladies! Feels better to voice some of this.

:grouphug

[Kaitnbugsmom]

add me to the list. The oldest is in ps but she's also got DSI/SID and ADHD.. so when she is home, it's like theres ten of her...

the four year old will be five on the 27th, if I let her live that long. She's on a roll with being annoying to the baby, the cat, her big sister, her dad, her step-dad, and above all, me...

the baby is teething, uber clingy, and I can't seem to make a sling that will work. and I want to order one, but I can't afford to order a zillion of them, like I've read that some people here have. I only have the cash for one, and I need it to be water ready and fit my body, support Emma as well as a front pack, and costs under $60

add to that my ex's health problems and the stress it is putting on all of us to think we might loose him. {everything that went wrong aside, he is a vital part of our daily lives, and the girls are already scared to death. I have a huge fear of what might happen if we lost him..

[vermonttaylors]

Don't take this the wrong way, but I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE THIS POST!!!! Not that I want my fellow mamas to be suffering too, but you know...."misery loves company." :o I thought I was the only one. I am soooooo burned out and have such bad cabin fever and we are all getting on eachothers nerves and the kids are into, and on, EVERYTHING!

Too much TV here too, mostly because we have all been sick for so long. Finally starting to get healthy and do stuff again. I can't WAIT until summer when all of this just feels easier somehow. The closeness in their age was easy until about a month ago. Now I have 2 toddlers who are FULL ON TODDLERS and it feels like I am herding psychotic kittens sometimes. The house is a wreck, dh and I are EXHAUSTED, and I haven't gotten any exercise in months (my usual salvation) because of a head and chest cold I can't kick. I love Vermont, but I wish we were almost ANYWHERE else this winter (for the first time in my life) because the kids are at such a tough age for enjoying the outdoors right now.

OK, thanks for the vent :lol

[CryPixie83]

What has made me feel a LOT better, has been getting out and away for a couple hours. Twice I've gone for coffee with another adult where we could just sit in the coffee shop and munch something sinful or drink my favorite coffee and talk, without kids crying or fussing or husbands or phones or anything. It was SOOO relaxing. And it was the first excuse I've had in months to get dressed 'up'. I felt like a human being again by the time I got back.
Isn't that nice? Three weeks ago I got my first child-free hour since dd was born (she's 19 months old and high needs/spirited) It was a Mary Kay party. Well, I'm starting to sell Mary Kay and I can't tell you how much I enjoy the Monday night meetings!!! No kids, positive upbeat women and really soft skin lol I take tea with me too! Last Monday (I didn't go this week) I was away from home for 3 hours! :bouncy Granted I'm pregnant, so come late Summer I won't be able to take these breaks again for a while, but I'm defiantely enjoying them while I have them!

This week I am way burned out though, my hormones are raging, my toddler is climbing the furniture, tantruming and ignoring everything I say, I hate my teeny tiny apartment (can't breathe) and we're all missing the nice weather... I will be sooo happy when we move and the weather is warm!

[mystic2mom]

I am new to this board but have stayed at home since before the birth of my little girl in 2000. She is now an opinionated, homeschooled, 5yo. I have a 2yo boy who is insane now. Hwants to climb everything. Plus, I'm 32 weeks prego right now. I babysit a 10yo and a 7yo after school and sweekend nites. I think I may go crazy. My kids are scared of the snow and the kids I sit have a mom who works too hard for too little and they barely have winter clothing fit to be out in, so I am as of now actually STAYING at home, instead of going for walks and all the fun stuff we do in summer. My dr. has limited my activity, but who can tell a 2yo that mom can't do stuff cuz the new baby is coming too soon and we don't want to hurt it? My son just pulls my shirt up and tells the baby to wake up and come out. My girl wants to know when the baby gets out of lay a way. And my siiting kids mom is divorcing and they ask ME questions about it. I just say ask your mom, but they only see her a few hours on weekends and when she picks them up at midnite every nite. I am now so grateful to be spending time with my kids. I love seeing them grow, but seeing my friend rush and be short w/ hers is bumming me out. I feel so bad and wish I could help more. Homeschooling is also getting ruff. Nik is just not into it anymore, she wants to go to school like the kids I sit. I think I will put her in a public school 4 a year to see if it works out, and maybe I'll get a break. I really admire all SAHM'S because we are more than just a mom. Teaching my kids how to grow up is fun, but I am burnt on it. I wish I could just get away. Valentines day was nice. We got a sitter and I ended up in the hospital on the way to dinner(had a fall, hurt my ankle) but we did end up at a restarant after I got looked over.Got a break for 5 hours, first time out together in 2 years, seriously. :love
Dawn

[Alana]

Me. I have a 5yo, 3.5yo and 2yo...my dh is working 60-80 hours each week, and we only have the one car that he needs for work. We are buying another car very soon, my burnout has officially over-rode my idealism. We used to live in a city that was very walkable, now we live in a place I cant stand, that has nowhere to walk to...the sidewalk goes down 5 houses either way from my house. Course going out every day, might be even more difficult with my 2yo and 3.5yo who are being EXTREMELY challenging right now. Im also homeschooling my dc, and trying to housebreak a Very stubborn rat terrier...or brat terror as she has become recently known to me. I do love being home with my dc....but Im tired, especially at night...the evening routine just about kills me. My dc go to bed at 7:30pm...we all wake up between 6am and 7am. When they are in bed, I collapse on the couch and read, or watch tv. Dh gets home each night around 10.

[churchofdisco]

i am definately feeling the burn today. i am 38 weeks pregnant and my ds will turn 1 in 3 days. i am trying my best to basically force myself to nest (i just feel totally icky. woke up with a smashing headache and diarhea) but as soon as i get something cleaned or put away, ds comes behind me and messes it up or pulls it out and when i tell him no he has taken to crying/yelling and stomping his little feet and waving his arms about. sigh....i love him and i love being a sahm, but i just feel so tired and the weather is just icky. i normally do have a car, but there is nothing worth while to go to that isn't at LEAST an hour and a half drive away. (i miss zoo's like you would not believe!) i feel awful cause i feel like i am always telling him no, or snapping at him cause i am so tired and stressed, but i just can't seem to catch a break from it.

[TRIBE]

I am feeling the winter burn out too. I feel so tired and very unmotivated. I set up a routine with the cleaning so my house stays nice. I never watch daytime tv but started challenging myself to get everything clean during the commercials on the Dr Phil show. It works & I get those little breaks to watch some mindless crap I wouldn't normally watch. I use the babes nap time to read & post, but I'd rather be napping with her. Too bad 5yo & 3yo no longer nap!