Chasing the dog

[fuller2]

My almost 3-year-old son has discovered a new game: chasing my sweet 12-year-old dog around the house. Now Dog is very patient and nonaggressive, but he is not liking this game anymore. (The first time we all did it together, unfortunately, and ds thought this was fantastic! but now he wants to do it all the time...)

How do I get him to stop doing something I basically taught him to do? Dog is actually growling a little at him now for a second, and for this animal that's pretty extreme. I tell him Dog is tired and doesn't want to play anymore, but it seems to have no effect. Ds says "Dog is such a good dog!" and then goes after him laughing...he doesn't get it. What can I do?

[WuWei]

Help your son to understand the dog's communication verbals and non-verbals: growling, lips flaring, teeth showing, tail down, ears forward, etc. as signs of unhappiness, angry, scared. Head up, mouth open and panting, ears relaxed, tail wagging as signs of happiness. Help ds pet the dog gently so that he is "happy".

This diminishes your role as the referee and thus not the one against which ds is listening or not listening. Then you are partners at figuring out what the dog is feeling and saying together. Ask ds what do you think the the dog is feeling/saying? What can we do to give him love? That sort of thing. And explaining that when he is scared he runs away. Let's not scare him, etc.

HTH, Pat

[fuller2]

Thanks for the input. Actually I've tried most of that, and he still doesn't think it means he should stop. I've told him that growling means Dog doesn't want to play anymore and he listens to me very solemnly...and then goes back to chasing him. I show him how to pet the dog nicely and he does it...and then chases him again. I think it's just a really fun game and he feels like he's really *playing* with the dog, and unfortunately I've started just separating them--putting the dog upstairs behind the baby gate, etc.

sigh. It will probably pass, but in the meantime poor old Dog is being pestered a lot. Maybe I should start having ds give him his food or do other things to interact with him? He seems to really want to.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

How big is your dog? We have a cat that DD likes to chase, and we made a kind of cat door that the cat can escape into anytime he wants, but DD can't follow. That way the cat can be with us when he wants but has an "out" of his own choosing.

I'm guessing your dog is probably too big to make something that Dog could go through but child could not.

[Fuamami]

sigh. It will probably pass, but in the meantime poor old Dog is being pestered a lot. Maybe I should start having ds give him his food or do other things to interact with him? He seems to really want to.

I second this. I also would caution you, even though I'm sure you already know this, not to just let it pass. If a dog cannot get anyone to respond to his growl, however gentle he has been in the past, he will bite. It happens all the time, as you probably know. So I would protect your dog, and your son, and keep them separated, and/or IMMEDIATELY step in and stop the chasing anytime your dog growls.

[boongirl]

I second this. I also would caution you, even though I'm sure you already know this, not to just let it pass. If a dog cannot get anyone to respond to his growl, however gentle he has been in the past, he will bite. It happens all the time, as you probably know. So I would protect your dog, and your son, and keep them separated, and/or IMMEDIATELY step in and stop the chasing anytime your dog growls.

I second this and I am speaking from experience. My almost three year old does not chase the dog but does step on him and constantly takes his toys away. I took a cue from Becoming the parent you want to be (see the GD book list) and I intervene. I say "I am not going to let you hurt the dog nor am I going to let the dog hurt you. I am also going to protect your stuff from him and his stuff from you." And, I use whatever means I can to distract and divert her away from the dog. I used to lock the dog in the kitchen, but that just hurt his feelings and taught dd nothing except she won. I used to threaten her that I would give him her toys to chew but that just made her cry. So, this is my tactic. It does not stop her (yet) from doing what she does but at least no one is hurt.



PS The poor dog actually did get hurt in October when dd stood on his hip and injured him. He had a limp and had to be on pain meds for a month! Thus, the above strategy was born.

I would love to know if anyone has tried anything else that works!