Am I doing this all wrong?

[Nourishma]

My DS doesn't seem to be getting enough sleep. He sleeps well at night, awakes to nurse (of course) and goes back to sleep with little trouble. My concern is that he is always very very fussy for a couple of hours before sleeping.

I think he is getting overexhuasted each day due to the fact that he doesnt really nap during the day. I feel this is partly my fault because I dont keep a regular schedule. I also feel like I can't get him to go to sleep quickly and nap regularly because I am trying like hell to avoid letting him get in the habit of needing to be nursed asleep every single time.

I do nurse on demand :thumb , however I have been told by other AP mothers that this is a bad habit for mother and baby to get into, therefore I am trying to avoid it to prevent later problems. The result is that he doesn't sleep until he is completely exhausted and therefore very grumpy.

I would appreciate any tips you ladies might have regarding getting him to sleep regularly without nursing every time.

:blah :blah sorry so long.

[alegna]

Nurse on demand and let him nurse to sleep. He's still tiny. And all babies should be nursed on demand.

-Angela

[swedemom]

hi mamma and welcome
nursing on demand is great! this is the best thing for both you and baby. lots of supply issues are avoided just by this practise alone. your babe is still really young, so boob in the mouth sleep time i dont think is so bad. with number 2 i did lay him down directly after nursing, gently removing the nipple.
sometimes he would awake, sometimes not.

can you take him out for walks, in sling or stroller? my babes loved to be out in the fresh air each day, and it did help that we went out regular times to get good naps in the day time.

but keep nursing on demand!

[Nanners]

I'd go ahead and nurse him to sleep. There are no "bad habits" when it comes to doing what it takes to get him what he needs (in this case, sleep). My ds has always nursed to sleep. That, and the car, were the only things that would d thio the trick. He's 19 mos old, and we're just now starting to work on going to sleep other ways. We nurse for 3 minutes in bed, then he can have his water sippy, a back rub, etc. for as long as it takes. Usually less than 10 minutes. My point is, nobody nurses to sleep forever. Like everything else, this is transitory. Enjoy it! I always liked that nursing ds down for his naps gave me a chance to rest, too.

[phaeon]

Nursing to sleep is not a bad "habit". It's a peaceful, gentle way to fall asleep. He'll stop doing it when he's ready to. Nurse away!! :thumb

[Caryliz]

Absolutely nurse on demand! :thumb That's what babies want and need. You want him to learn to trust his own hunger signals, and to trust that you will be there for him when he needs you. Secure, happy, trusting babies are the best! :throb

And sling him if you can. :fsling: We didn't have any schedule to speak of for the first 6 months of ds' life, but being in the sling while I ran errands or went for a walk or did housework allowed him to snuggle in and nap when he needed to, even if we weren't anywhere near the bed. It also provided him with the outside stimulation he needed to sleep well (and fall asleep easily!) at night. :wink

[the2amigos]

Nurse him to sleep if that's what works. I, too, worried about that association - that he'd only fall asleep while nursed. He dropped it about 10 months, now I'd give big money to have him fall asleep nursing!! Go with it while you can!

[BamBam'sMom]

Maybe he needs to go to bed a little earlier. He is very young to have a nap schedule. I agree with everyone that you should nurse on demand. I do wish I had put my son down awake when he was little. He's ten months and I always have to nurse him to sleep and sometimes he decides he's done eating so I can't get him to sleep.

If I were you I would just try to do a variety of things to get him to sleep.
Nurse him, sling him, take him for a walk. I would also try putting him down when he's sleepy but awake. Don't let him cry, just try it. A lot of people here won't agree with this. By all means, use your own judgement. These are things I'm going to try with my next child.

[Nourishma]

I would never consider denying him the comfort and the sustenance of the breast, I just don't want him to need it to go to sleep for a lot of reasons. I've just heard too many mothers, both in person and on forums that feel so frustrated that their babies won't go to sleep any other way. If that's the only way, his daddy can never be involved in the nightime process, which because he is gone all day I think it's really important that he get that time at night. I've read that "just before baby goes to sleep is the perfect time to hold them close, cuddle them, tell them how much you love them, walk and rock and sway with them and that stuffing your boob into their crying mouth may be easier and quicker but that it forces the baby to skip the winding down process and doesnt allow them to release the pent up stress before sleep"... I would never just let him cry or deny him the right to nurse whenever he feels the need to but I'm afraid he is asking to nurse just because he's tired and hes grown accustomed to falling asleep that way not because he is actually interested in sucking.
I guess maybe since I know eventually he'll learn other ways I shouldn't bother trying to teach him now...I just don't want bedtime to ever become the kicking, thrashing, screaming time of struggle where you nurse for an hour, unlatch, nurse for another hour etc. all night that I know it is for some mamas.

[alegna]

Look at other mammals. Ever seen a mama cat pull her nipples out of mouths so they can fall asleep on their own? Of course not. Mammals are designed to nurse and they're designed to nurse to sleep. Honestly you're making your life harder now by trying to avoid something that may never be a problem.

-Angela

[turtlemama77]

I guess maybe since I know eventually he'll learn other ways I shouldn't bother trying to teach him now...I just don't want bedtime to ever become the kicking, thrashing, screaming time of struggle where you nurse for an hour, unlatch, nurse for another hour etc. all night that I know it is for some mamas.

I think sometimes bedtime is such a struggle for some parents because their babes aren't really tired enough to sleep. If my dd doesn't fall asleep within 15 minutes or so of nursing at bedtime, she's not tired yet. For us, bedtime *would* be a struggle if dd couldn't nurse to sleep!

Your baby is so young. Instead of worrying about teaching him not to nurse to sleep, just enjoy him. He's going to grow up so fast. In my adult life I've never come across anyone who still needed to be nursed to sleep, so they eventually do grow out of it.

No worries! Just nurse that baby!!

[Pepe]

I agree with what others said about nursing on demand. DO it!

In caring for my ds, who will be 6 months soon, I found Elizabeth Pantley's book The No-Cry Sleep Solution (very popular with many patrons of this website!) tremendously helpful, especially for the purposes of getting the babe to sleep in ways other than nursing him down. We can now also bounce, stroll, or babywear him to sleep. I also love Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears' advice on this topic. You could look for The Baby Book and/or Nighttime Parenting for more how-to. Also, Dr. Harvey Karp's The Happiest Baby on the Block offers good methods on soothing. It literally changed our lives!

Good luck! And may I add that you sound very caring and conscientious.