New SAHM, scared!

[StrawberryFields]

Hi all,

I am a new SAHM to a beautiful 2 month old baby boy :) I've always wanted to be a SAHM but this pregnancy was a surprise (we weren't planning on having a baby for another 2-3 years) so I didn't think it would be possible and planned on going back to full-time work. But after this little one arrived I realized that it just wasn't physically possible for me to go back. Even thinking about it made it hard to breathe. Luckily my husband was on board with my feelings and we decided that I should quit my job and we would make it work! I quit yesterday! I am so scared and excited now, I've never been unemployed like this before. Our money and lifestyle is going to drastically change, too--from relatively comfortable/easy to tight. My husband works in IT and is also going to school. I've started dabbling a little in eBay selling and may start making and selling scrapbooks, too. We'll see!

I don't know any SAHMs, all of my friends with children work. I am looking forward to chatting with you ladies about being home with our little ones!

[jelybely7]

I am new too but not to SAHMing :) I am so happy to be with my girls and I would have it no other way. I believe children benefit so much from having at least one parent at home all the time, that would be the ideal to me. It might be tight but it will be worth it for your son more than anyone else- imo!! Don't be scared, be happy and excited!!

[RainbowSquidney]

I could have written your post! Except the scrapbooking....I'm not that organized. lol.

Congrats on the new baby and the new job!!!! Being a SAHM is so wonderful....I love it!

[wsgrl84]

Hi! I too agree that being a SAHM is wonderful!! You will get the hang of things soon enough! I was scaried too at first but now I am too busy with my DH baby that fear just went away. You are a great mom to your baby so enjoy!

I agree that one parent should be with the baby at home. I can't imagine how I would react if I had to send DS to a nanny, a child care center or preschool.... :nut You made the right choice of be a SAHM!!

[Itlbokay]

I don't know any SAHMs, all of my friends with children work. I am looking forward to chatting with you ladies about being home with our little ones!


You'll meet people, don't worry :)

Once your baby is a little bigger (and it's warmer, depending on where you are!) you can start to go places, like the park, to play. You'll be sure to meet people there, or the library, coffee house, etc. It will happen.

Until then, enjoy this new path in life! To be a new mom, what a sweet time :heartbeat

[2Late2BCreative]

:) Welcome!
Over time you will meet IRL SAHMs. This site is awesome to connect with SAHMs. I am glad you found it...just reading some of the posts is really helpful and encouraging me to and I've been home for 5.5 years. My DD is 5.5 yrs and DS is 18 mos. As far as your financial lifestyle changing, it seems that you are already looking and thinking of ways to make it more comfortable. MDC aslo has a "frugal living" area that might be worth checking out. Congrats on your baby boy. I had to smile when you said thinking about leaving him made it hard to breathe.....so sweet that intense feeling you have for your babes.....
This time while they are so young and need us so much goes by so so quickly.

[streetkitty]

I had a similar experience. I was the breadwinner pre-birth, DH didn't even have a job when I got pregnant! Then he was working freelance and I couldn't bear the idea of someone other than DH or myself taking care of dd- the thought kept me up night! But after trying to go back part time (dh and I had our schedules so that one of us was always with dd- we never saw each other for about 4 months). I wanted to be home all the time with my daughter. So I quit. The fear kept me up nights for a few weeks until I realized I was doign what I had to do and we would never end up destitute since we have family etc. So I let my fear go and trusted that it would all work out. And it has. 2 years and another baby later! I did do freelance work from home for my old job for the past 2 years and now pretty much just sell stuff on ebay and do odd jobs from home to make extra cash so I can buy stuff for the kids.

Don't fear-You will make it work. (The one downside- I never get anything new...clothes, shoes- things I used to value now mean virtually nothing...for now!)

Traci

[streetkitty]

And Welcome from a fellow former cheesehead- I grew up in Waukesha- moved to California w/my family at 15.

[turtlemama77]

Hi there! I found that it took me several months to get into a groove being a sahm, but now it's pretty nice! I feel very fortunate to be able to be at home with my dd, and even though it's tough financially I think it's worth it.

Definitely check out your local library for storytimes, even with your little babe. My local library has storytime starting at 0-12 months and it's a great way to connect with other sahms. LLL is another place where I've met some awesome mamas (our group meets during the day). Getting out of the house often helps me not get stir crazy!

Take care!

[AJP]

I've never been unemployed like this before.

You're not unemployed. You're just not getting paid with money. Try not to let yourself fall into the mindset that you're doing nothing, because in fact the job of supervising and facilitating the development of a decent human being is the most challenging and rewarding (to you and everyone else close to your children throughout their lives) thing you could do.

Check out the Finding Your Tribe forum for your area to connect with other moms.

[StrawberryFields]

Thanks everyone for the welcome! I am so excited about this. It is cold here, in Wisconsin, but pretty soon it will be spring and we are in the city so we can walk all over the place! There is a library down the block, plus stores and all sorts of stuff. We've been going to the LLL meetings but not sure whether we'll keep doing that or not--my midwife is the leader and I'm getting sort of a negative vibe from her right now.

It's going to be a little tough because part of making this work is selling one of the cars, but I can always drive hubby to work if I want to go somewhere.

It will be fun in the summer to garden and let him crawl around in the grass and the dirt in the sunshine.

[Tori Gollihugh]

[QUOTE=turtlemama77]I found that it took me several months to get into a groove being a sahm, but now it's pretty nice! I feel very fortunate to be able to be at home with my dd, and even though it's tough financially I think it's worth it.[QUOTE]

I totally agree with turtlemoma77 on this. I actually had a rough time with the transition even though I NEVER wanted to be a working mama AND even though I NEVER got used to leaving my DD! Even after 7+months of leaving her for work I still cried just about every morning! :( The most difficult thing for me was never having time alone, which -even though I was working- I did have at school.

I TOTALLY recommend the TRIBAL area for locating other mommas in your local! I've found a bunc in the last couple weeks. I met only one IRL so far, but we've got a plan for at least 3 others to meet up this next week! It's terribly exciting (as I don't exactly feel comfy with many of the SAHMs I know because they have SUCH different parenting beliefs. *sigh*

Good luck finding more mommas to spend time with and talk to IRL. Until then, these forums are AWESOME, aren't they!!!?
:rocks

[boongirl]

I could have written your post! Except the scrapbooking!

Ditto here, except I just cannot find the time to do scrapbooking. I just toss all the pictures in albums as soon as they are processed and that is that.

I was also scared and excited when we chose to have me stay home. We've taken it year by year (I am a teacher) and so far I am on my third year home. I never thought we could do it but you would be amazed at what is really not important when you compare staying at home to their cost. Like, we shopped around for cell phone service and use them as our long distance. We saved $50 a month by just doing that. And, we cut back our cable tv (I just cannot let that one go :innocent ). And, we put ourselves on a food budget for the first time and we are doing ok. You will find that there are great deals for kids stuff on ebay and craigslist and at local thrift and resale stores. I was never a good saver or pennypincher but I am not proud of my frugal ways. The frugality forum here is a big help.

I also started to feel very alone at first. My daughter was VERY colicky and even after that passed she was still very sensitive to commotion. But, I found some great mommy groups that met in mornings and that was awesome. You might look for a mommy-baby group in your area. Look in your area for la leche league or moms club or holistic moms or maybe even start one. The tribal areas here are good althought I've only met one person irl. I've also enjoyed the coop preschools (for newborns thru age 5) run by our community colleges. (can you tell I don't like to stay at home.)

The other thing I found hard was our new relationship as not only husband and wife but parents. It took a long time to work out the kinks but we are now functioning very happily. When you stay home and your husband goes to work, his life somewhat goes back to normal whereas yours is radically different. My dh wanted to go back to his old routine and that just did not work. He kept thinking that I had all the time in the world to cook and clean and run errands and sleep and be healthy and exercise. It took a while to sort out ways to be mutually respectful of each other's needs and also take care of our first priority, our daughter. Leaving the new baby home with daddy once or twice a week, even if it is just for an hour, really helps him to figure out just how hard that job can be. :wink

[StrawberryFields]

Ditto here, except I just cannot find the time to do scrapbooking. I just toss all the pictures in albums as soon as they are processed and that is that.


:lol I think it's really a case of the cobbler's son going without shoes, because I've never made a scrapbook for myself and I probably never will. Our own pics aren't even in an album, they are still in the processing envelopes.

I've been making baby book scrapbooks as gifts for awhile now, though, and when I tried to find things I could do from home for $$ it came to mind. There seems to be a decent demand for them, too...I am thinking of making a natural family one next (homebirth/waterbirth/family bed, etc.). We'll see what happens!

Thanks everyone! Being an at-home mom is going to be the best job I ever had!!

[sparkprincess]

You'll do great!! Just be sure to give it plenty of time to work out all the kinks. My ds is 19 months now and sometimes I still feel I'm getting the hang of it. :lol